“I don't think so,” she said, pulling herself back into the car. “Shelby, don't say anything. Please.” Until she knew where Johnny's head was at, she didn't want added confusion. If they worked it out, and that was a big if, she didn't want their agreement to come out of guilt or a false sense of responsibility to the baby. Johnny would be there regardless.
Her mind circled. Maybe she was pregnant. Part of her didn't want a commitment, but then part of her did. They had always spent a lot of time together. Add in sex and her tummy swooped. Now Johnny seemed content to give her the kind of relationship she'd asked for but maybe she did want more.
Shelby smiled. “I can keep a secret.”
Krissy didn't doubt it. She just wasn't ready to tell. If pregnant, Johnny should be the first to know. “Thank you.”
“Oh, my god,” Krissy said. She and Shelby laughed when they pulled up to Drew's house, parked, and exited the vehicle. A jeep sat in the driveway with an open driver's side door. Discarded clothing led the way into the house. The front door stood open.
“Do we really want to go in there?” Shelby latched onto Krissy's elbow.
“Oh, yeah.” Krissy plowed forward. “What I would give for a camera.”
“Use my phone.” Shelby's lips twisted into a devious smile.
“You have to love technology.” Krissy flipped open the phone and turned it to the camera function.
They giggled as they approached the house.
“Shh.” Shelby put her fingers to her lips. “If I see Drew's dick, I'm kicking your ass.”
Krissy put a restraining arm on Shelby. “I hadn't thought of that. I don't want to see it either. I felt it once. That was more than enough.”
“Gross, you felt it.” Shelby's face scrunched. “How?”
“It's huge. I'm talking— ” She held her hands to show the ten- inch length.
“No way!”
“Shh.” She laughed. “Don't wake him up.”
“My, god, Krissy, that's a birth defect. He should've gone into porn.”
Krissy held up the phone. “He just might.”
They didn't need to worry about knocking with the door standing open. They peeked inside. Clothing was scattered on the living room floor. They tiptoed into the kitchen. Outside the patio doors, a pair of panties floated on top of the hot tub.
“Now we know he has sex in the hot tub. I'd rather be ignorant.” Shelby's shoulders slumped. “We should stop now.”
“No way.” Krissy took a picture of the hot tub. “It'll make a nice scrapbook page.”
When they passed the laundry room, Krissy paused to look at the washer. Butterflies filled her stomach, quickly turning to a wave of sickness. Overwhelming emotions rushed over her, filling her eyes with unshed tears.
“Hey, are you okay?”
Krissy blinked a few times. If she got weepy, Shelby would know. They wouldn't be taking pictures with the camera phone, but Shelby would be on the phone to Dr. Hart. Didn't pregnant women cry all the time? Shit, or yippee, maybe she was pregnant.
“Come on,” Shelby said, pulling on her arm. “Get the camera ready. Do you think the girl is going to care? Do you think they're doing it?”
Krissy rolled her eyes, spreading her hands reminding her of Drew's cock.
“You're right, we'd hear them.”
“We'd hear
her
. Okay, we're surmising way too much information.”
They walked down the hall and peered into the master bedroom. Krissy slapped a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing. With the other hand, she snapped a few pictures of Drew.
She pushed Shelby out of the room. Once they were in the living room, they both laughed. “So how do we send this to Ryan, Casey, and Johnny?” Just saying his name caused a riot of sensations.
Shelby took her phone and forwarded the photo. “I'll give it twenty minutes before the gang is here.”
It took less than that. Johnny pulled up with Casey right behind. Krissy wondered if Casey had taken him to get his truck, or if they'd been together. Pressure built behind her eyes. She pressed fingers to her temples and gently massaged small circles. Her imagination shifted into overdrive. Since when did she get jealous? And of Casey? Krissy mentally slapped herself. She wouldn't think anything disparaging about her friends.
Johnny came into the house, laughing. Were they laughing at her? Her stomach cramped. She bit the inside of her cheek before unleashing her temper. Maybe they were still laughing at the picture of Drew wearing a pink and black striped tie around his head like a bandana. Hair stuck out in every direction. The girl had on Drew's knee and elbow pads. Krissy didn't want to know what was up with that.
His laugh drifted away as his eyes locked on her. The carefree smile fell from his face. Her heart hammered out a rhythm, drowning out the noise and chatter in the room. Heat raced into her face. Damn it. He wasn't going to see her cry. Turning, she walked out to the patio.
Standing next to the hot tub, she watched the panties float on the water. Glancing over her shoulder, she looked to the door. Johnny hadn't followed her. In fact, she could hear his laughter again. Someone must have woken Drew. This was her idea, and yet she hid outside, afraid her feelings for Johnny showed on her face.
Once again, she'd sabotaged a relationship. Only this time it hurt to her very soul. Her friendship with Johnny helped to define her as a person. She knew that sounded crazy, but he brought out the best in her personality. How cliche, but true.
Letting him into her heart, loving him, being in love with him, left her open to pain, betrayal, and disappointment. Since asking him to be her baby's daddy, she'd inflicted the same.
“Listen, wood girl. I'll get you back.”
Krissy glanced at Drew. She hooked the bikini panties on her finger. “Had fun, did ya?”
“The way Johnny talked at the bar, I'd bet you had a good time, too.” He took the panties and tossed them on the chair. “So.” He dipped his hand in the water and flicked drops at Krissy. “Are you two going to give each other the silent treatment, or are you going to admit you fucked up?”
Krissy turned away. “What's wrong with me, Drew?”
He came up behind her. His arms circled her shoulders. “You're just like me, wood girl. We like to play. Who wants to grow up and have a relationship?”
“I think I do.” She sighed and leaned into his supportive strength. She lifted her face to look in his eyes. “And I don't think we're too much alike. In fact, I guarantee it. What in the hell were you doing last night? The jeep door was open. The house is in shambles. Her panties are in the hot tub. Shelby had a fit. She didn't want the visual of what you do in the love tub.”
“Action/adventure.”
“Stop. I don't really want to know. I need to know how to fix my friendship with Johnny.”
Drew let her go. He walked across the patio and turned on the jets. “Look Krissy, I told Johnny to give you what you want. How was I to know you'd changed your mind?” He stepped over the side and sank into the water with his shorts on. He squirmed a bit and then tossed the shorts out of the water. “If you didn't get a snapshot this morning, I'm not giving you the opportunity now.” He stretched out his arms, closed his eyes and sighed.
Shelby came out to the patio. “I want in.”
“He's naked. Might want to sit on the opposite side.”
Shelby stared at Drew than leaned into Krissy. “Do you think
it
can reach?”
“It's impressive, Shelby.” Drew wore a smile. “I knew it. Women talk about size, just like men talk about women.”
“Equipment,” Shelby clarified. “Not performance.”
“Um, Shelby,” Krissy said, “No, we talk about performance, not equipment.”
Drew laughed. “I score high in both categories.”
“Ew,” they said simultaneously.
Krissy rolled her eyes. “You just score.”
“Krissy.” Johnny stood at the door. “Can we talk?”
She tried to assess his unreadable features. Despite his closed expression, she sensed his vulnerability. With her stomach tight, warmth in her breasts, she nodded.
“No way.” Drew stood from the hot tub.
Shelby screamed. “I didn't want to see it.”
Drew laughed and grabbed Krissy around the waist and pulled her into the hot tub.
“Drew, you're naked. Let me go.” Krissy splashed. Her head went under water a couple of times before she found her balance. “Oh shit, I touched it! Shelby, help.”
Krissy leaned over the side. Shelby helped her step over. The heat of the water, coupled with the exertion, caused a resurgence of nausea. Her soaked clothing clung to her body. She looked at Johnny just as her stomach revolted. She turned to the bushes and threw up.
“Are you hung over? Sorry,” Drew said. He was about to stand when Krissy put her hand up.
“Please don't.” She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “We've seen enough. Get your girlfriend to play with you.”
“She went home because she was humiliated by the little photo session.”
Shelby rolled her eyes. “She was covered. And please, I've had enough revelation for one day. Do not tell me what the knee and elbow pads were for.”
“I want to know.” Ryan, the grill meister had prepared shish kabobs for the grill. He fired it up. “Nice,” he said to Krissy, drawing everyone's attention.
Krissy's nipples strained against the fabric of her shirt. She wouldn't be surprised if the dark centers were visible through the light blue fabric. Johnny's hungry gaze swept over her, settling on her chest. It was too easy to lose herself in his eyes. Although she couldn't deny the thrill cruising through her, she deliberately shut out the awareness, the aching pulse of her body.
“We need to talk,” he said.
She pushed her wet hair out of her face. “Drew, I'm going to see if there's something in your closet I can change into.”
Johnny stepped out of the way to let her pass. Then he turned to follow her.
“Johnny.”
He glanced over his shoulder at Drew. “My bedroom only looks like the laundry because there are clothes on the floor.”
Johnny rolled his eyes. He did not intend to try to seduce Krissy on Drew's bed. Not that he wouldn't like peeling her out of her wet clothes. Her breasts looked unbelievable. She could win a wet T- shirt contest, only he didn't like others staring.
Knowing his two best friends wouldn't make a move on her, jealousy still fired his blood to see Drew touch her. When he'd pulled her into the water, Johnny had clenched his hands to keep from interfering. He didn't know if Drew attempted to provoke him into a declaration. He considered Krissy and kept his mouth shut. She didn't want their friends to know they'd slept together.
Krissy stood at Drew's closet flipping through shirts. She pulled one from the hanger. “Close the door.”
He did.
“Will you turn around?”
He didn't want to, but he turned and walked to the window facing the parking lot.
“Are we friends?” He held his breath while he waited for her answer.
“Is that what you want?”
His shoulders slumped. “Yes.” The word tasted bitter in his mouth. No, he wanted more.
“We shouldn't sleep together,” she whispered.
Johnny spun to face her. “Why?”
“You said you didn't want to sleep with me unless we had a commitment.”
“I'm bending here, Krissy.” He took a few steps toward her. “You claim not to want a relationship. I'm agreeing with you. Just sex.” He touched her shoulder and dragged his finger along her collarbone, savoring the texture of her soft skin.
Her eyes drifted closed. “We've proved we can't stay friends and have sex. I don't want to lose our friendship. I keep repeating the same thing, and we still end up naked.”
“Because the sex is better than either one of us has ever had.” To prove it, he brushed his lips against her warm, smooth mouth. She whimpered, her lips parting. Tilting his head, he coaxed her tongue with his, drawing it into his mouth.
He placed gentle kisses along her jaw, to taste the sensitive area beneath her ear. “I love you.”
She pushed against his chest. Tears sprang to her eyes. “That's the shit I don't want you doing.”
“Maybe we do need a break from each other.” He ran his fingers through his hair. With a little distance, he could gain some perspective.
“Maybe.”
They had never spent time apart. Perhaps that was the problem. They took each other for granted. The old saying about absence making the heart grow fonder was a bunch of shit. Absence made it easier to move on, but it looked like that was the chance he had to take.
Chapter Twelve
An Act of Sedition
Krissy hadn't realized how much of her time she spent with Johnny. Her voice mails went unanswered. The bum knew her schedule. He returned her calls to the house knowing she spent her mornings at jobsites. Before she made the biggest mistake of her life by sleeping with Johnny, they'd met for lunch a couple of times a week. She'd think he could speak to her. Distance didn't need to equate to no contact.
She'd called him, several times during the day. She wondered what excuse he had given his parents when she didn't join them for dinner on Sunday.
The oppressive thought of being alone again tonight hit her hard as she drove home from work. Her laptop sat on the passenger seat. With her evenings free, she hoped to get kitchen drawings done and into the computer system. Then what would she do with the rest of the hours until she could sleep? She lived like a depression commercial.
Do you feel tired all the time? Have you lost your appetite? Do you shun activities you once enjoyed?
Yes.
Yes
. Yes! Maybe Dr. Hart could prescribe something for her.
She took a deep sigh. Not likely. Not after she took the pregnancy test. She covered her breasts with her hands, fairly certain the tenderness stemmed from pregnancy. The test waited, only she wasn't ready to take it. What if it came up positive?
She needed to face the truth. She'd had morning sickness for three days in a row. Her breasts hurt in the shower and when she put on a bra. Air hurt. She wanted to be pregnant with Johnny's baby. Didn't she? So then why was she scared to take the test? She knew. Because she wanted Johnny to be happy about their baby. Under the circumstances, she wasn't sure he would be. They'd left too much unsaid. Or maybe too much had already been spoken.