Jingle All the Mitchell Way: A Holiday Novella (6 page)

“Damn.” I mumbled. “We were lucky.”

“It must have just happened.”

“Let’s hurry up. I don’t need frozen balls. I won’t be able to drive if my nuts aren’t comfortable.”

“I don’t want to know these things about you, bro. Keep your ball talk to yourself. Quit your bitching.” He ran to the back, where the jack and other supplies were kept. It took him a few minutes, so I took a piss to kill time. As I zipped my jeans back up in the closed position I heard him talking. “Dude, it’s a real tire.” He was laughing, and it made me think he was going to play a prank on me.

“Thank God. It’s cold as Hell out here. What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. I saw something that made me laugh, that’s all. It’s got nothing to do with you.” Jake handed me the jack while responding. “By the way, I’m pretty sure Hell is hot.”

“I’ll let you know once this trip is over. I’m sure it will be a similar experience.”

“It’s going to be fine,” he tried to reassure me. “You’re such a girl. We’re going to have a good time.”

I rolled my eyes, trying to remain focused on the task. “Reese will start bitching within a week, probably even before it.”

“Shut up. She’ll be fine. Can’t you appreciate we’re doing this for you?”

“Of course I do. This means everything to Amber. She’s had a hard time, always feeling as if she’s still got to prove her parents wrong.”

My brother shook his head. “I still can’t believe those assholes told her she should have been the one who died instead of her sister. Who does that shit?”

“I know, right? Look, she’s trying to let them be a part of the twins life. I bite my tongue. As much as I want to kick the shit out of her father, I have to respect they’re her parents. It’s her decision, and as long as I keep my wife happy, she will continue to give me ass. The haters are going to hate. The Jaxinator always wins, dude.”

“Is it weird that I know the name of your dick?” He shook his head. “Never mind. Don’t answer that. Anyway, you can’t think sex is the most important part of life, Jax.”

I opened my hands up as I spoke. “Hey, I live an easy life. We were basically handed a job when we were kids. We’re surrounded by family. My girls are the cutest on the planet. My wife is a fucking movie star. Who could ask for more?”

“True. When you put it that way I’m envious.”

I shoved my brother. “You already took my girl, once, dude. It ain’t happening again. I’ll cut off your balls and feed them to the goats.”

“It’s been years, Jax. Stop giving me shit when you know you’re happier with Amber. Besides, we don’t even own goats.”

“I’ll buy some,” I corrected. “They eat the garbage. Do you have any idea how many dirty diapers we accumulate?” Then I settled myself. Even a goat wouldn’t be interested in baby shit. “No, I’m thankful. It’s not you I’m worried about. It’s the fucking famous assholes we’re about to be around I’m scared of. Jake, what if she falls for one of them? What if fame changes her?”

“You really think that will happen? Have you seen the way she looks at you? Amber wouldn’t. She’s not deceitful.”

“I don’t know. Don’t you read the magazines in the grocery store? You can go from humanitarian to whore in a matter of days.”

Jake laughed at me. “I don’t go to the grocery store. I work and my woman does the shopping. You’re such a pansy. I take back what I said. Amber might want someone who acts like a man, instead of her bitch.”

He obviously didn’t take me serious. “Extreme couponing takes time and expertise. I happen to think it’s therapeutic.”

My brother wasn’t amused. So what if I’d taken on chores that enabled me to spend time with my wife. While I was clipping coupons, she would rub my achy feet. When we went to the grocery store, we found new items we’d like to try, and never forgot to grab a bottle of whipped cream, just in case we needed a bedtime snack.

“We’re making great time, man. Amber’s going to wake up in Louisiana.”

Then it started to sleet. We’d made it to Georgia only to have the temperature drop due to a low pressure system moving up the coast. My parents had warned me about it, but in all honesty I thought they were joking. What started as a predicted thirteen-hour drive had now turned into a two-day haul.

The sounds of the tiny ice shards hitting everything around us was only a reminder of how dangerous the road conditions would be. It was important to keep everyone safe, even if it cost us travel time. I had to find a place for us to park and wait out the storm, before our traveling house cost us all our lives.

“So much for seeing Louisiana tomorrow.”

“It’s moving out of here fast. Besides, we’re headed south. We can park this sweet ride somewhere and get some shuteye before continuing. It’s no biggie.”

“No rest stops, Jax. Remember what you told me about them? I wouldn’t want you being abducted by men looking for romantic flings while on the road.”

With the cold becoming unbearable, I chose to ignore his comment on focus on the tire. Sure, there was saying about gay men meeting at rest stops, but it couldn’t be true. Who the hell would partake in that kind of statistical survey?

The lug nuts were a bitch to get off, some rusted from being in the weather, but it was always important to loosen them first before jacking up the vehicle, otherwise the tire would spin while you were working. It was obvious this motorhome had sat on a lot for some time. I knew Jake chose it because it was a cheaper purchase. I would have done the same thing. I just wished he would have checked the little details. After finally managing to get them off, I pumped the jack, raising the motorhome to be able to remove the damaged tire. “You know we could have been in that ditch, or flipped? When we get to the next town you’re replacing the other three tires.”

“You probably hit something.”

I pulled off the tire and held it up, running my hand over it. It was still warm from driving on the road. “This shit is dry rotted, just as I suspected. Now I’ve got frost bite.”

Jake took the tire in his hands and walked it back to the storage compartment while I put the new one on, tightened the lug nuts, and lowered the jack.

“The salesmen said the old man who owned it before me planned on taking it to Florida for the winters, but he died before he could use it. He had a stroke while on the way to Florida.”

My eyes widened. “He died? Dude, is this shit haunted? Did you buy a haunted RV? He could have popped the tire.”

“I’m going back inside to warm up. Once again, you’re ridiculous. There is no ghost.”

“I’m calling him John,” I called out to him. “From now on John is my wingman. John the ghost.”

Jake was already inside when I finished babbling. I know I joked about everything, but what good was a life without being able to smile?

Right before stepping back into the warm motorhome, I paused; deciding to walk around the large vehicle and make sure the other tires weren’t low. When I reached the rear I noticed what my brother had been smiling about. Dangling from the hitch was a set of plastic testicles. My dad kept a set on the main farm truck. From the look of the wear on them, it was obvious that’s where they’d come from. I chuckled and shook my head, being reminded of the presents he’d claimed he’d left for us. “Smart ass!” I said under my breath, while being reminded of the brutal cold. My nose was burning from being frozen. Before getting back inside, I tapped on the doorframe. “Don’t let any more tires blow out on us, John. I’m counting on you to keep my girls safe.”

Chapter 8

Jake

The motorhome, having two separate bedrooms in the rear, was large enough to give us privacy if we required it.

‎The master suite, if that's what it would be classified as, was big enough to walk around the king sized bed if you squeezed. The walls held cabinets for storage, most of which Amber had filled with her wardrobe and the twins essentials.

The second bedroom could only be used when the vehicle was parked, as a bump out needed to be utilized for the space to accommodate. Since we were traveling overnight, Reese had folded the couch down for us to take turns resting, while she stayed back with Amber and the girls.

I knew this situation was going to be frustrating at times. Reese loved the twins, and she and Amber had grown close in the past couple of years, but being cramped in such a small space for a long length of time was trying for anyone. I couldn't expect her to enjoy the trip, but knew she'd do anything to help out my family; the family she was already a big part of.

The holidays has always been a big deal for Reese. Her family went all out with decorations and baking. They even read the traditional stories the night before, still as adults. Since we’d skipped last Christmas to be with them, Reese was determined to make sure this year was extra special for me. 

As much as I looked forward to being with the family, my mind was focused on one thing. With Reese by my side I didn't much care where we ended up eating or exchanging presents. I wanted us to be together.

After the flat tire fiasco, I looked forward to climbing into bed with my bride-to-be and getting some much deserved rest while Jax drove us the rest of the way to New Orleans.

I found Reese sitting comfortably in the kitchen area fold-down bed with her legs tucked under the covers. I crawled up beside her, caressing the skin of her cheek with my chilled lips. Being out in the cold to change a tire in treacherous conditions was worse than expected. Thankfully, with the help of Jax, we were able to do it faster in order to get back in the motorhome to warm up.

My still freezing hands slid up her thighs, as our lips brushed before finally coming fully together for a heated kiss. I felt her hands shoving me away, breaking the moment I was hoping would move forward instead of coming to a direct halt. “What the hell, Jake. You’re hands are freezing. They’re like icicles. Keep them away.”
“Oh come on,” I taunted. “I had a perfect way to warm them up. You should be thanking me for being a hero and fixing the tire. I think we saved over a hundred bucks doing it ourselves instead of having to call a service to come and take care of it.”

“Your dad was a certified mechanic. One would hope you could both change a tire on your own,” she laughed about it. “Go run some warm water under those things, and then come back and start over.”

I did as she said, but only because I knew it would pay off if I did. While exiting the small bathroom, I spotted my brother climbing back into the driver’s seat. Since I knew the weather was becoming worse, I felt it necessary to ensure he’d be stopping for the night.

I passed by Reese, walking the ten feet to reach my brother, all the while knowing we weren’t going to be able to get it on with him in such a close proximity to the kitchen bed. “Do you know where you’re going?”

“I’m just going to find a parking lot for the night.” He was looking at the weather app on his phone. “It’s going to be gone in a few hours. We’ll get some sleep and get back on the road after breakfast.”

“Sounds good, bro. I’ll see you on the flipside.”

Just as I was about to climb into the bed I heard my brother saying something loud enough Reese could hear. “Did you tell her about John yet?”

Reese crossed her arms and sat up. “Who is John and what haven’t you told me?”

I sighed and looked in the rearview to see my brother smiling. He knew he’d gotten me into trouble, and he was happy about it. I flipped him the finger before climbing under the covers again with Reese.

“He’s the original owner of this RV.”

“What about him? Do you know him personally?”

“No. I don’t even know his real name. Jax calls him John.”

“Why? What does it matter who owned this thing before you?”

I sighed. She was going to freak out. “He sort of died, babe.”

“Sort of died?”

“In the RV. He had a stroke.”

I could tell by the look on her face that she wasn’t at all okay with me keeping such pertinent information from her. She stood up in bed, her head almost hitting the low ceiling. “Ew. Where did he die? Tell me it wasn’t in bed. I won’t be able to sleep. How could you buy it? It’s just wrong, Jake. I knew this was a bad idea when you ran it by me. I should have told you no. Now you own a dead man’s motorhome. He’s probably planning on haunting us.”

“He’s dead. Calm down. You sound like Jax. It’s not a big deal. People die. His loss is our gain. Look at how much I saved by getting a used motorhome.”

“You mean a haunted motorhome?”

“Give him shit, Reese. I’m up in this driver’s seat with the heebie jeebies. I know John’s watching me.”

I shook my head and pulled Reese back to a sitting position. “Everyone dies. He’s not haunting us. I’d like to think he’s our guardian angel of the road.”

“I think you’ve been hanging out with your brother too long. He’s dementing your beautiful mind.”

“I can hear you,” Jax reminded her.

“I don’t care. It’s true. Jake always makes smart decisions, while you’re the reckless one.”

“Things change, sis,” Jax reminded her. “I’m the married one who has his shit together. Your man is still single, fighting the itch to tie the knot with you. Just think, he might be stalling in case you aren’t the one.”

“Jax, shut the hell up.” I gave Reese a kiss on the cheek. “Don’t listen to him.”

“I never do,” she mumbled with a sigh. “I can’t believe someone died in this RV. It doesn’t freak you out at all?”

“Nope. It’s probably best you don’t tell Amber. She’ll make a big deal about it and end up staying in a hotel.”

“It’s kind of hard to keep something like that a secret. How do you know Jax won’t tell her?”

I whispered so my brother wouldn’t hear me. “Because he’s too worried about his wife leaving him for another man; a famous Hollywood actor.”

She covered her face like she was annoyed. “Oh brother. Give me a break. Is he serious?”

“Yep.” I slid my hand up her shirt, not caring if my brother was catching us fooling around. Reese shoved it back out.

“Don’t. Your brother can see us.”

“Who cares?”

“I do. It’s weird.”

I rolled over and put my arms behind my head. “Fine. I’ll wait until he parks.”

Reese rolled over. “I promised I’d get up with the twins, so I’m going to bed. Good luck with getting some. I’m sure you can watch porn from your phone.”

I chuckled. “Speaking of porn. Did I ever tell you how I told Uncle Colt you did a few movies while in college? I told him I bought this RV so we can take your show on the open road.”

“You what?” A pillow came slamming into my face, but it didn’t stop me from cracking up.

“He believed me too.”

She was not pleased with my banter. “You’re an asshole. Have fun sleeping alone, Jake. I’m going back to the twin bunks. Don’t follow me either. You’re officially in the doghouse.”

I watched her leave before turning my attention to my brother. He shook his head and pointed to the seat beside him. “Come join me, dude. We’ll sing carols and pretend everything will be fine.”

“I don’t have to pretend. Reese may be mad, but it’s not like I hurt anyone. It was a joke.”

“Keep telling yourself that.” He paused for a second. “So, what’s it going to be? Rudolph or Frosty?”

I shook my head and fastened my seat belt. We might only be driving until we found a safe place to park, but it was already going to feel like forever with my brother at my side.

Not even twenty-four hours after pulling out of the driveway, Reese was annoyed. I had a terrible feeling I might be spending the holidays alone in an RV, instead of the fun filled trip I’d planned in my head. One flat tire, and a fabricated ghost later, it felt like all was turning to shit quick. Not even Santa would be able to help my crew.

Maybe my parents were right. Perhaps this was the worst idea I’d ever made.

I turned my attention back to Jax, who in spite of everything was still in good spirits. “Rudolph.”