Read Jimmy's Blues and Other Poems Online
Authors: James Baldwin
feeding on itself, ending
(when it ends) in madness:
the action is blindness and pain,
pain bringing a torpor so deep
that every act is willed,
is desperately forced,
is willed to be a blow:
the hand becomes a fist,
the prick becomes a club,
the womb a dangerous swamp,
the hope, and fear, of love
is acid in the marrow of the bone.
No, their fire is not quenched,
nor can be: the oil feeding the flames
being the unadmitted terror of the wrath of God.
Yes. But let us put it in another,
less theological way:
though theology has absolutely nothing to do
with what I am trying to say.
But the moment God is mentioned
theology is summoned
to buttress or demolish belief:
an exercise which renders belief irrelevant
and adds to the despair of Fifth Avenue
on any afternoon,
the people moving, homeless, through the city,
praying to find sanctuary before the sky
and the towers come tumbling down,
before the earth opens, as it does in
Superman
.
They know that no one will appear
to turn back time,
they know it, just as they know
that the earth has opened before
and will open again, just as they know
that their empire is falling, is doomed,
nothing can hold it up, nothing.
We are not talking about belief.
3
I wonder how they think
the niggers made, make it,
how come the niggers are still here.
But, then, again, I don't think they dare
to think of that: no:
I'm fairly certain they don't think of that at all.
Lord,
I watch the alabaster lady of the house,
with Beulah.
Beulah about sixty, built four-square,
biceps like Mohammed Ali,
she at the stove, fixing biscuits,
scrambling eggs and bacon, fixing coffee,
pouring juice, and the lady of the house,
she say, she don't know
how
she'd get along without Beulah
and Beulah just silently grunts,
I reckon you don't
,
and keeps on keeping on
and the lady of the house say,
She's just like one of the family
,
and Beulah turns, gives me a look,
sucks her teeth and rolls her eyes
in the direction of the lady's back, and
keeps on keeping on.
While they are containing
Russia
and entering onto the quicksand of
China
and patronizing
Africa,
and calculating
the Caribbean plunder, and
the South China Sea booty,
the niggers are aware that no one has discussed
anything at all with the niggers.
Well. Niggers don't own nothing,
got no flag, even our names
are hand-me-downs
and you don't change that
by calling yourself X:
sometimes that just makes it worse,
like obliterating the path that leads back
to whence you came, and
to where you can begin.
And, anyway, none of this changes the reality,
which is, for example, that I do not want my son
to die in Guantanamo,
or anywhere else, for that matter,
serving the Stars and Stripes.
(I've
seen
some stars.
I
got
some stripes.)
Neither (incidentally)
has anyone discussed the Bomb with the niggers:
the incoherent feeling is, the less
the nigger knows about the Bomb, the better:
the lady of the house
smiles nervously in your direction
as though she had just been overheard
discussing family, or sexual secrets,
and changes the subject to Education,
or Full Employment, or the Welfare rolls,
the smile saying,
Don't be dismayed
.
We know how you feel. You can trust us
.
Yeah. I would like to believe you.
But we are not talking about belief.
4
The sons of greed, the heirs of plunder,
are approaching the end of their journey:
it is amazing that they approach without wonder,
as though they have, themselves, become
that scorched and blasphemed earth,
the stricken buffalo, the slaughtered tribes,
the endless, virgin, bloodsoaked plain,
the famine, the silence, the children's eyes,
murder masquerading as salvation, seducing
every democratic eye,
the mouths of truth and anguish choked with cotton,
rape delirious with the fragrance of magnolia,
the hacking of the fruit of their loins to pieces,
hey!
the tar-baby sons and nephews, the high-yaller nieces,
and Tom's black prick hacked off
to rustle in the crinoline,
to hang, heaviest of heirlooms,
between the pink and alabaster breasts
of the Great Man's Lady,
or worked into the sash at the waist
of the high-yaller Creole bitch, or niece,
a chunk of shining brown-black satin,
staring, staring, like the single eye of God:
creation yearns to re-create a time
when we were able to recognize a crime.
Alas,
my stricken kinsmen,
the party is over:
there have never been any white people,
anywhere: the trick was accomplished with mirrorsâ
look: where is your image now?
where your inheritance,
on what rock stands this pride?
Oh,
I counsel you,
leave History alone.
She is exhausted,
sitting, staring into her dressing-room mirror,
and wondering what rabbit, now,
to pull out of what hat,
and seriously considering retirement,
even though she knows her public
dare not let her go.
She must change.
Yes. History must change.
A slow, syncopated
relentless music begins
suggesting her re-entry,
transformed, virginal as she was,
in the Beginning, untouched,
as the Word was spoken,
before the rape which debased her
to be the whore of multitudes, or,
as one might say, before she became the Star,
whose name, above our title,
carries the Show, making History the patsy,
responsible for every flubbed line,
every missed cue, responsible for the life
and death, of all bright illusions
and dark delusions,
Lord, History is weary
of her unspeakable liaison with Time,
for Time and History
have never seen eye to eye:
Time laughs at History
and time and time and time again
Time traps History in a lie.
But we always, somehow, managed
to roar History back onstage
to take another bow,
to justify, to sanctify
the journey until now.
Time warned us to ask for our money back,
and disagreed with History
as concerns colours white and black.
Not only do we come from further back,
but the light of the Sun
marries all colours as one.
Kinsmen,
I have seen you betray your Saviour
(it is
you
who call Him Saviour)
so many times, and
I have spoken to Him about you,
behind your back.
Quite a lot has been going on
behind your back, and,
if your phone has not yet been disconnected,
it will soon begin to ring:
informing you, for example, that a whole generation,
in Africa, is about to die,
and a new generation is about to rise,
and will not need your bribes,
or your persuasions, any more:
nor your morality. Nor the plundered goldâ
Ah! Kinsmen, if I could make you see
the crime is not what you have done to me!
It is you who are blind,
you, bowed down with chains,
you, whose children mock you, and seek another
master,
you, who cannot look man or woman or child in the
eye,
whose sleep is blank with terror,
for whom love died long ago,
somewhere between the airport and the safe-deposit
box,
the buying and selling of rising or falling stocks,
you, who miss Zanzibar and Madagascar and Kilimanjaro
and lions and tigers and elephants and zebras
and flying fish and crocodiles and alligators and
leopards
and crashing waterfalls and endless rivers,
flowers fresher than Eden, silence sweeter than the
grace of God,
passion at every turning, throbbing in the bush,
thicker, oh, than honey in the hive,
dripping
dripping
opening, welcoming, aching from toe to bottom
to spine,
sweet heaven on the line
to last forever, yes,
but, now,
rejoicing ends, man, a price remains to pay,
your innocence costs too much
and we can't carry you on our books
or our backs, any longer: baby,
find another Eden, another apple tree,
somewhere, if you can,
and find some other natives, somewhere else,
to listen to you bellow
till you come, just like a man,
but we don't need you,
are sick of being a fantasy to feed you,
and of being the principal accomplice to your
crime:
for, it is
your
crime, now, the cross to which you
cling,
your Alpha and Omega for everything.
Well (others have told you)
your clown's grown weary, the puppet master
is bored speechless with this monotonous disaster,
and is long gone, does not belong to you,
any more than my woman, or my child,
ever belonged to you.
During this long travail
our ancestors spoke to us, and we listened,
and we tried to make you hear life in our song
but now it matters not at all to me
whether you know what I am talking aboutâor not:
I know why we are not blinded
by your brightness, are able to see you,
who cannot see us. I know
why we are still here.
Godspeed.
The niggers are calculating,
from day to day, life everlasting,
and wish you well:
but decline to imitate the Son of the Morning,
and rule in Hell.
1
I believe, my brother,
that some are haunted by a song,
all day, and all the midnight long:
I'm going to tell
God
how you treated
Me:
one of these days
.
Now, if that song tormented me,
I could have no choice but be
whiter than a bleaching bone
of all the ways there are,
this must be the most dreadful
way to be alone.
White rejects light
while blackness drinks it in
becoming many colours
and stone holds heat
while grass smothers
and flowers die
and the sleeping snake
is hacked to pieces
while digesting his
(so to speak)
three-martini lunch.
Dread stalks our streets,
and our faces.
Many races
gather, again,
to despise and disperse
and destroy us:
nor can they any longer pretend
to be looking for a friend.
That dream was sold
when we were,
on the auction-block
of Manifest Destiny.
Time is not money.
Time
     Â
is
       Â
time
.
And the time has come, again,
to outwit and outlast
survive and surmount
the authors of the blasphemy
of our chains.
At least, we know
a man, when we see one,
a shackle, when we wear one,
or a chain, when we bear one,
a noose from a halter,
or a pit from an altar.
We, who have been blinded,
are not blind
and sense when not to
trust the mind.
Time is not money.
Time is time.
You made the money.
We made the rhyme.
Our children are.
Our children are.
Our children are:
which means that we must be
the pillar of cloud by day
and of fire by night:
the guiding star.
2
My beloved brother,
I know your walk
and love to hear you
talk that talk
while your furrowed brow
grows young with wonder,
like a small boy, staring at the thunder.
I see you, somehow,
about the age of ten,
determined to enter the world of men,
yet, not too far from your mother's lap,
wearing your stunning
baseball cap.
Perhaps, then, around eleven,
wondering what to take as given,
and, not much later, going through
the agony bequeathed to you.
Then, spun around, then going under,
the small boy staring at the thunder.
Then, take it all
and use it well
this manhood, calculating
through this hell.
3
Who says better? Who knows more
than those who enter at that door
called back
for Black,
by Christians, who
raped your mother
and, then, lynched you,
seed from their loins,
flesh of their flesh,
bone of their bone: