Jimmy (34 page)

     “I knew I had to take care of you but couldn’t without your father’s help, especially since my mother wouldn’t speak to me and kept calling me a whore.”

     Tina tried to block out the words but couldn’t.

     “I tried to love you after you were born but I could never look at you without thinking about that night.  Even now seeing you sitting there makes me remember what he did to me.”

     “Shut up!” Tina snapped.

     Surprisingly Rebecca did.

     Silence settled, though Tina couldn’t appreciate it because the words didn’t fade.

     After a few moments Rebecca said, “I’ve said what you needed to hear,” and left the room.

     Tina burst into tears after that. 

     Anger followed.

*  *  *

     “I looked ridiculous,” Jimmy said while waiting for his BLT bagel to cool down.  “My body is not designed for formalwear.”

     “But Tina will love it and that’s all that matters, right?”  Alan had ordered a bacon, egg, and cheese bagel all on a toasted egg bagel.

     “I don’t know, Tina isn’t like other girls and will probably think I look ridiculous too.”

     “She’ll love it,” Alan said.  “You just worry too much.”

     “Maybe.”  He took a bite.  The sandwich tasted wonderful.

     Alan followed suit but then grimaced and said, “Ugh, they put American cheese on it.  Don’t I always order cheddar cheese?”

     “You forgot this time,” Jimmy said with a smile.

     “And you noticed?  Why didn’t you say something?”

     “Because it’s funnier this way.”  He took another bite.  “Umm, this is really, really good.”

     “Bastard,” Alan muttered and then, “You know, you paid for it and now I’m not going to enjoy it so you aren’t getting your moneys worth.”

     Jimmy hadn’t thought about this. 

     Alan took another bite, grimaced and said, “I’m going to see if they’ll just give me a piece of cheddar cheese for this and scrape off this crap.”  His phone rang as he was standing up, stopping him in his tracks.  “Oh, it’s Rachel.”

     Jimmy thought about saying something funny that would get Alan in trouble, but then held back.

     “What?” Alan said and then listened for a second.  “No, I figured we would just take my mother’s car.”

     Jimmy took a bite.

     “Are you kidding me?  I don’t think I can get one, it’s too last minute.”

     Now Jimmy was curious and mouthed the words:
Get what?

     Alan shook his head and said, “I’m sorry, you should have said something the other day.  It’s too late now.”  He listened.  “No, it’s not going to ruin the entire night.”

     Jimmy actually could hear the angry reply that followed.

     “Fine, I’ll see what I can do, but believe me, the dance will still be fun even if we don’t have a limo.”  He rolled his eyes.  “Yes, it will be, I promise.”

     Alan pulled the phone away from his ear because the shouts were really loud this time.  Once they were finished he put the phone back and said, “Okay, see you tonight.” 

     He closed the phone.

     “What was that all about?” Jimmy asked.

     “Apparently I have already ruined Rachel’s prom night experience because I failed to get a limo to take us there.”

     “A limo!”

     “Yeah.  The school is less than a mile away from her house and she wants a limo to take us.”  He picked up his bagel sandwich to take a bite, looked at it for a second and put it back down.  “You know if these dances get any more serious they are going to have to start handing out marriage licenses at them.”

     Jimmy nodded.  “I hope Tina isn’t upset that I didn’t get a limo.”

     Alan didn’t reply.

     Jimmy thought about calling her and finding out but then decided it would probably be better not to say anything so that the idea wasn’t planted.  At the same time he was pretty sure she would be happy without one. 

     Alan sighed.  “You know, I don’t care.  If she wants to make a big deal out of this that is fine, I’m not going to let it ruin my night.”

     “But then Rachel won’t ‘love it’ and isn’t that all that matters?” Jimmy asked.

     Alan glared at him.

     Jimmy put up his hands.  “Hey, I’m not the one who said it.”

     “No, but it doesn’t really apply to me because I’m not dating her so if I fuck things up and just walk away its fine.  You on the other hand are in a relationship, which changes things.”

     “How?”

     “You still want to be dating tomorrow or the next day or next week?”

     “Um, yeah.”

     “Then she better enjoy herself tonight.  With me, I don’t plan on ever really talking to her again after tonight so it doesn’t really matter.  I’m just going to have fun.”

     His phone rang again.

     He picked it up and saw that it was Rachel again and didn’t answer it. 

     “Having fun?” Jimmy asked.

     Alan gave him the finger.

*  *  *

     Rebecca was sitting in the family room reading a romance novel when Tina came downstairs, the statements about her father still the main focus of her mind, but now for a different reason.

     She stepped into the family room.

     Rebecca looked up.

     “Can I ask you something?” Tina said.

     “Go ahead,” Rebecca said.

     “Why did you wait until now to tell me all this stuff about my father?”

     Rebecca closed her book around her finger and sighed.  “Because it was important for you to understand what he did and why I had to leave the marriage.”

     “Bullshit!” Tina snapped.  “If all of that was important and something you were concerned about you would have told me all of it months ago.  Instead you waited until today, all so you could try and ruin my night.”

     “No, I - ”

     “You are a bitch!” Tina snapped.  “A no good spoiled stuck up bitch, one who probably begged to be fucked that night but then convinced herself she had been raped because she couldn’t live with the fact that she was a whore.”

     The book came at her quickly, but Tina managed to move out of the way before it hit her square in the face.

     “Get out,” Rebecca said.

     “Oh, does the truth hurt?” Tina asked.

     “Get out!”

     “Don’t worry.  As soon as the courts let me I will be on my own and you will never have to see me again.  Until then, well, you’re stuck with me and trust me, if you ever try to convince me that my father was anything but a good man I will hit you so hard you’ll wish you died in childbirth.”

     Rebecca didn’t reply.

     Tina picked up the book that had been thrown at her, looked at the cover which had a really strong shirtless man on it, and said, “Wow, Scott has a lot to live up to if this is what you want in your men,” and threw the book back.  “But then again he’s probably cheaper than buying a vibrator so I understand why you put up with him.”

     The anger that appeared in Rebecca’s eyes was unlike anything Tina had ever seen before and for a second she wondered if she had pushed the woman too far, but then dismissed the thought.  Any pain she caused her was deserved. 

*  *  *

     “Just one more, this time out by the flower garden you and Jimmy planted,” Kelly Hawthorn said; her camera once again ready.

     “Mom, no,” Alan said, an apologetic look toward his date.  “Please, we really have to go.”

     “And they will take professional pictures of us at the dance,” Rachel Hayes said.  It was one of just a handful of statements that had left her lips since her arrival ten minutes earlier.  “You’ll be able to buy as many as you want.”

     “But they won’t have the flower garden in them, now will they,” Kelly said and quickly ushered the couple out the front door toward the flower garden that Jimmy and Alan had slaved over in the predawn hours of Mother’s Day as a surprise.

     Jimmy watched from the doorway as his mother took several more pictures of Alan and Rachel, her statements that attempted to encourage smiles making the two even more glum.  Eventually she stopped and told the two to have a good time.

     Though he couldn’t tell for sure, Jimmy thought he saw a look of relief spread across Alan’s face as the two headed toward Rachel’s car, one which she had insisted Alan drive since it was a Lincoln and much nicer than the car he and Jimmy had planned on driving. 

     Kelly Hawthorn came back into the entryway, watched for a moment as Alan opened the passenger door for Rachel, and said, “I don’t like her.”

     “How come?” Jimmy asked.  He noticed his tie was crooked and started to fix it in the mirror, but only managed to make it worse.

     “She’s a stuck up little brat. 
‘They will have professional pictures at the prom that you can buy.’
  No shit Sherlock.”

     Jimmy laughed.

     “And she acted all superior to us, especially with all that ‘let’s take my daddy’s car because it’s nicer and more formal’ crap,” Kelly added. 

     “I think you just don’t like it that Alan is going to the prom with a senior even though they are only two years apart.”

     Kelly didn’t reply to that and instead asked, “When are you picking up Tina?”

     Jimmy looked at the clock on the wall and said, “In a few minutes.”  He looked at the camera.  “And no, I won’t be bringing her by for pictures.”

     “Oh, come on, I promise I won’t go crazy.”  She looked at the back of the camera.  “Besides, I don’t even have much film left anyway so you have nothing to worry about.”

     “You know Alan and I bought you that camera for Christmas,” Jimmy said.  “So I know it doesn’t take film.”

     “Well, the disk is almost full.”

     “Nice try.”  He looked at the clock again.  “I better head out.”

     “Okay, fine.  But I want to meet her one of these days.  You promise.”

     “I promise.” 

     Jimmy gave his mother a hug.

     “Have fun, but be careful.”

     “I will.  Love you.” 

     “Love you too.”

     Jimmy headed out to the car. 

     Less than five minutes later he was pulling into Tina’s driveway, his eyes surprised to see Tina waiting for him by the front door rather than inside out of the heat.

     She started toward the car.

     He quickly stepped out so he could be a gentleman and open the passenger door for her.

     “Jimmy, the brake!” Tina cried.

     At the same time his foot was knocked out from under him as he tried to step onto the shifting pavement, and without much thought he jerked his hand toward the gear shift and threw the car into park.

     Protests rang out from the engine as the car bounced to a halt.   

     “Whoa,” he said while standing up, his hand touching his head.

     “Are you okay?” Tina asked.

     “Um, yeah.”  He shook his head and then rubbed his leg which had been twisted pretty badly, but wasn’t hurt.  “I’ve never done that before.”  He slowly started around the car.  “Here, let me get the door for you.”

     Tina cautiously sat herself into the car.

     Jimmy closed the door and started back around, the words
you stupid idiot
echoing inside his head.

     Neither spoke for a moment.

     “You okay?” Tina asked again.

     “Yeah,” Jimmy said, though his heart was racing.  “I still can’t believe I did that.”

     “I’ve done it before too,” she confessed.  “It’s like your brain just skips a step for no reason.”

     Jimmy nodded.

     “Of course I didn’t get back in and stop the car.”

     “Really?  What’d you do?”

     “Watched in horror as my dad’s car smashed two bikes and then hit the tool bench in the back of the garage.”

     “Oh no.”

     “It was really bad and then when my dad came outside I burst into tears.”

     “Did you get in trouble?”

     “No, he was just glad I didn’t get hurt and said the shock of what happened was probably enough to make it so I never made the mistake again.”

     “I wonder if your mother would have been as forgiving as him had I smashed into the garage?”

     “Ha, she’d try to have you thrown in jail for reckless engagement and destruction of property.”

     “And they would probably convict you of being an accessory since it was mostly your fault.”

    
“My fault!”
Tina cried.  “What?”

     “Well, if you weren’t so breathtakingly beautiful I wouldn’t have been distracted, and would have remembered how to drive.”