Jezebel's Ladder (19 page)

“But?” Elspeth prompted.

“Parts are obviously patriarchal
and have nothing to do with a Divine being. I mean, the being who engineered us
knows how the menstrual cycle works. He wouldn’t make us sacrifice a sparrow
every month just because he didn’t understand why we were bleeding.”

That got a laugh. “Girl, is there
anything you won’t talk about? Politics?”

“I haven’t paid any attention in
that area. My think tank has been designing new models for society that might
force corporations to have a conscience. We also want to fix the problem of
criminals getting separated from society permanently. There are so many issues
to work out if we’re going to succeed outside this planet. Compared to that
challenge, my non-existent sex life is easy to talk about.”

“Why are you so passionate about
space?”

“Because, with the current rate of
discovery, we’re going to be there in about five years. If we reinvested a
fraction of all the money earned by space movies, NASA could have a colony on
Mars today.” Jez successfully steered the discussion back on topic.

They continued chatting in this
fashion for another hour. When Jez needed to go, she wrapped up with, “I’m
sorry. I can’t go to the funeral in my boyfriend’s t-shirt. Is there anything
else you’d like to ask before I have to leave? Don’t be afraid; I can take it.”

Screwing up her courage, Elspeth
asked the one question she had been avoiding since her arrival. “Other than the
dead guards, why are there so few people of color on your wall?”

Jez cocked her head. “You’re
absolutely right. I just started, but you’d think statistically 10 percent of
the people would have to be. I just hired Mr. Rama, so he doesn’t exactly
count. The original set seems to indicate a racial bias on the part of the
selector.” She rolled over to her laptop. As she typed, she said, “I’m sending
a note for Claudette to check this lead out. Thank you for that observation.”

After escorting her guest to the
door, Jez had Tan help her to the car. On the way to the store, she told Benny,
“Your PR woman asked a question that got me thinking. The person who originally
distributed the pages was racist. I think it was one of us, a human being. If
we can track the flow back to that person, he or she can point us to the rest
of the pages.”

Benny blinked. “I can’t believe we
didn’t think of that before. Babe, you are a certified genius. We can wrap this
up in no time if we can locate Active Zero.”

She basked in the compliment, but
felt compelled to say, “Elspeth deserves part of the credit.”

“Who’s Elspeth?” asked Tan.

“Elspeth Richards,” she clarified.

“The correspondent for
Variety
online magazine?”

Jez turned white. “Oh, God. Benny,
please don’t hate me.”

****

Neither Benny nor Jez dared read
the magazine or engage Fortune’s media machine. “It will just blow over,” he
insisted.

That’s what they were hoping for
until Claudette mentioned in passing at the afternoon funeral, “Quite a
headline they gave you.”

“I don’t want to know,” Jez said,
squeezing her eyes shut.

“‘Someone to Take Home to Mom,’”
Claudette supplied. She was wearing a veil to help hide her fresh bandages.

“What?”

“And I quote from the exclusive:
‘Being in Jezebel Johnson’s office is like being in the middle of a hurricane.
Recovering from a gang assault at an undisclosed location, Jez is as outspoken
as she is tenderhearted. Far from being a stereotypical gold digger, Ms.
Johnson is helping other victims of the recent tragedy out of her own pocket.
Recruited to head a think tank before she even finished college, she takes
every problem facing someone she cares about as a personal affront.’ My
favorite is, ‘When asked what her biggest worry is, she’s afraid her future
mother-in-law won’t like her. Mrs. Hollis, she might blister your ears a bit,
but Benny was willing to run into a burning building to save her. We’re glad he
did.’ It’s followed by an atrocious picture of you in one of Benny’s shirts,
and another taken in Spago.”

“I never told her he saved me from
the fire.”

“Relax, it’s Hollywood. A good
story is more valuable than the truth.”

“I suppose I’m lucky that with
almost two hours of tape, this is all she was interested in.”

“Oh no, hon’, this was just part
one of five. When someone gets an exclusive this big, they milk it for weeks.
Monday’s installment is about working for Elias. I know because she interviewed
me for corroboration.”

“Oh God,” Jez whimpered. Mistaking
the cause of her grief, the minister comforted her on the way by.

When she got home, there was a
same-day courier envelope waiting from Sedna. Corporate security had stamped it
bomb and Anthrax free. While Benny answered a phone call, Jez ripped it open.
There was a second, smaller envelope inside with a note reading:

The
hurricane with a heart of gold. LOL. You’ve kept your word. I wanted to get you
an engagement present. The only thing I had lying around was Sam’s latest
acquisition. They never even got a chance to analyze it.

Sedna

Coming back into the foyer, Benny
said, “What do you have there?”

“Hopefully, something that will
keep my ass from getting fired after Dirt Bag reads Monday’s paper—a new page.”

People rebuilt, adapted, and established new patterns.
Daniel waited on Trina every chance he got as she recovered from the surgery
and merging.

The Monday exposé on Fortune’s
discriminatory hiring habits was brutal, but the hard data Claudette provided
showed that the only actionable offense was gender discrimination at the upper
executive level. Though deplorable, his hiring percentages for each minority
were within tolerances for each of his industries. The entertainment giant
actually showed a bias in favor of Asian candidates due to the need for
multi-lingual expertise.

To counter the sexism claims, the
board appointed Jez as Executive Vice President of Scientific Research.
According to her new contract, she was paid primarily in stock options and
subject to immediate termination if she knowingly spoke with another reporter
about any business topic.

Dr. Weiss added a rider for her
health insurance that limited her work to forty hours a week and monitored her
blood chemistry every Monday. Though the testing was officially part of her
clean-and-sober clause, the doctors were really looking for indicators of what
the extended team called “quantum sneaks.” When she became an expert in some
obscure area overnight and flooded her underlings with new orders, it generally
meant that she had cheated. “Was it Benny, Claudette, or one of my assistants
who complained?”

Weiss replied, “None of us wants
you to end up with Fortune Syndrome.”

The contract wasn’t strictly fair
or legal, but guilt drove her to sign it anyway.

Tuesday, they arrived in Palm Springs. She was able to hobble off the plane on crutches, but couldn’t go very far.
Benny was able to remove his slings and drive his mother’s golf cart despite
the casts. “Let me soften her up for you first,” he offered.

While mother and son went out
golfing on a sunny day, Jez hired two writers whom Benny had recommended for
the
Stairway to Heaven
documentary, and approved a press release for the
project. As a courtesy, she texted Elspeth with the updated information before
it hit the media outlets so she could include it in her story.

The journalist texted back, “Change
in plans. ‘Moral Evolution of Celebrities’ for Friday.”

Jez wrote back, “Plz don’t tell me
it’s canceled. BNE excited about photo shoot at Space Mtn.”

“Bigger, better plans.
Rolling
Stone
negotiating for the rights. Cinch if I can get P for cover.”

When Jez went to her computer to
get the phone number she needed, her work e-mail was swamped with budget
analysis and quarterly projection data. Since this was technically a vacation
day, she skipped it.

The only Ladder work Jez did was to
delegate the search for Active Zero, the originator of the Golden Tickets—code
named Wonka—to Fortune’s New York team. She hoped the revelation would help
soothe the sting of the news coverage. She copied London because they would be
providing support.

She spent almost an hour, first to
reach and then to convince the guitarist to do the cover shoot. She threw in
rights to use a video of her magic show and the use of Fortune’s recording
studio at a discount. The musician agreed, admitting he would have done the
shoot just to get on the cover of
Rolling Stone
again.

Jez relayed the information to
Elspeth and then went shopping for a non-work, non-funeral dress. She wore the
bright, new sundress to dinner to meet Rebecca Hollis-Ramsey.

Even at 68, Benny’s mom was an
athletic, dark-haired beauty who turned men’s heads. To Jez, she had the severe
air of a librarian about to censure someone for talking too loud.
Unfortunately, the two women were wearing the same, yellow sundress, making the
meal more excruciating. The only positive was that Mom did not allow cell
phones at the dinner table. Benny was forced to be attentive.

Jez answered all questions with one-word
sentences and nods through the main course. As the waiter cleared the table for
dessert, Benny mentioned the
Stairway
documentary. Jez blurted out the
good news about shooting the cover of
Rolling Stone
with his idol.
Before anyone could stop him, Benny whooped, kissed her, and ran back to his
hotel room to get his phone.

This left her alone with Rebecca.
Jez was like a deer in the headlights, thinking,
Maybe if I don’t move, she
won’t see me
.

“You seem to know what gets boys
excited,” Rebecca said deadpan. Jez whimpered a forced laugh. “So, you two have
separate rooms. Are you a lesbian or is this all just for PR?”

“Neither, ma’am. It hasn’t been
easy, but I’ve honored his wishes for celibacy.”

“So, will I have grandchildren?”

Jez smiled at the thought. “My
plumbing works and I’m not on birth control, if that’s what you’re asking. The
rest I’d have to discuss with your son before committing to anything.”

Rebecca grunted. “Can you cook?
Sew?”

“I used to be a good cook, but I
multitask too much now and things burn while I’m solving someone else’s
problems. I never did learn to sew, but I’ve become surprisingly good at
delegating.”

“The press has been calling you
everything from a slut to a saint. Which is it?”

“Neither,” Jez said, tiring of the
barrage. “But I love Benny. When I promise myself to someone, I keep my
promises.”

Rebecca grunted again. “You’ve got
sand, just like his father said. Why haven’t you been married before?”

“The easy answer is career, but the
truth is that I wanted to get married. I was technically engaged for a long
time; even though Chance never got me a ring. He said it would get in the way
during the act. He also never wanted to commit to a wedding date.”

“If Benny never gets around to
that, would you still have his children?” the older woman demanded.

Her voice tremulous, Jez said, “Yes.
I realize that a celebrity’s earning potential drops if he gets married. I
wouldn’t ask him to make that sacrifice.”

“What if he screws around?”

Angry, Jez said, “He wouldn’t. He’s
had offers—I had one investigated by corporate security, and the other ended up
bleeding on the floor of my hotel room.”

Rebecca cackled. “Anything else I
should know?”

“I tell the truth compulsively,
even when I shouldn’t. But anybody coming after my family ends up running away
or wearing a toe tag.”

“I don’t think that poor boy
realizes how alike we are. The two of us are going to butt heads constantly,”
the mother announced, shaking her head in amusement.

Stunned, Jez realized this was her
welcome to the family. “As long as we can establish boundaries, I think that
could work. I hear you get most of your updates from Tan. If I get Benny to
call you more often, will you agree to give me advice when I need it?”

The older woman smiled and
pretended to find the almond custard fascinating as Benny returned. Jez
collected her crutches and excused herself from the table. “I’m suddenly
exhausted. I’ll let you two spend more quality time together.”

“
Rolling Stone
,” Benny
echoed with a grin.

When Jez was out of earshot,
Rebecca said, “The family item you asked about earlier today?”

He snapped back to reality. “Uh,
grandma’s ring?”

“Come to my room and I’ll give it
to you. Though, you’d better be sure. This one won’t let you back out of your
commitments like the last one.”

“Yes, ma’am. What did you think of
her?” he asked.

“She has you and your father
wrapped around her little finger. You got what you came for. Does it matter
what I think?”

He turned his head in the ‘please’
look he had used since childhood. Rebecca sighed, “I know she’ll make you very
happy and look out for your best interests. Don’t take her for granted.”

For the first time in almost thirty
years, he hugged his mother without being asked.

****

When Benny went up to the room to
check on Jez, she was on the phone. Covering the mouthpiece, she explained, “Triniel,
not work.” To Trina, she said, “Not everything is a fit for every couple. Try
the Adrani posture, that’s designed for smaller women. You’re welcome, goodbye.”

Shaking her head, she said, “Swami
Rama gave them a copy of the
Kama Sutra
, trying to encourage them to
read. That was like putting out a fire with oil-soaked rags. They were going at
it like bunnies before. Now they have a picture book of poses. I told them to
start with the
Joy of Sex
. It’s more fundamental and has more words.”

“You have the
Kama Sutra
memorized?” he asked, sitting abruptly.

“Just what works for me,” she
clarified in sultry tones.

“Still have insomnia?” he asked.

“Yeah, but Trina had a good
suggestion for that,” Jez responded. When he swallowed hard, she confessed, “I’m
writing a Primer on my theories about the pages. For example, Collective
Unconscious reads are smoothest when there are at least two loving actives to
support you. In the ideal scenario, the group bonds, not quite like Triniel,
but more like a family unit.”

He nodded. “Mom likes you and
invited you to her place for the Memorial Day family reunion.”

They talked until two in the
morning, neither wanting to say goodnight. Eventually, he had to sleep but
refused to do so in her room. “I promised,” he insisted.

She could tell it took all of his
resolve to leave. When he finally closed the door, the look on his face spoke
more to her than all the talking that day. She drifted off to sleep, feeling
warm and content.