Jessie (26 page)

“I thought you would be in bed,” Becky said to Heather when she found that lady in the kitchen much later that evening.

“I'm just having a last cup of tea.”

“Can't sleep?”

“Too many thoughts.”

“I shouldn't have said to you anything about Sheriff Nate,” Becky said, her voice telling of her disgust.

“I'm glad you did.”

“Why?”

“I need to think about it. I need to be aware of others and their feelings.”

“You never saw it, Heather?” Becky asked again. “You really never noticed?”

“No. I thought you and Jeanette were kidding.”

The women fell silent for a moment. Becky had made her own cup of tea, and they sat at the kitchen table, just one lantern burning.

“Are you afraid of getting hurt or giving the hurt?” Becky asked very gently, and Heather turned to stare at her.

“I
am
afraid,” Heather whispered, the full realization hitting her. “I'm being governed by fear right now. I just saw it.”

Becky's humility since her belief in Christ was obvious to everyone who knew her. That woman now leaned forward a little, her face alive with interest. “What will you do, Heather—just pray or something more?”

“I will pray, Becky, but I also must call the fear by its correct name: sin. I'm sinning against God when I fear in this way.”

“What other kind of fear is there?”

“The kind that means awe and respect. The fear I have for God and His authority is all right; it's very good. But the other kind, the one you just put your finger on, is all wrong.”

“Let's pray about it right now,” Becky suggested, and the women did just that. Their tea forgotten, the hour a nonissue, these two old friends bowed their heads and confessed their great need to God. They did not leave the kitchen to seek their rest until all was repented of and settled.

“Here, Seth,” Jessie coaxed that night. “Drink some of this.”

Seth complied, but the effort cost him. The doctor had said to keep water in him, and Jessie was doing her best. Seth's eyes opened after he drank. Seeing this, Jessie got a little more water into him.

“How's the head?” she asked, carefully mopping the water from his chin.

“Bad.”

“Has this happened before?”

“Never. It's hot in here.”

“I think it's you,” Jessie said, rolling the covers off his chest a bit. Not until she did this did Jessie notice a scar on the side of his chest that she'd never seen before. Seth's eyes were closed again, so Jessie didn't try to ask him. For a moment she reached out and touched the old wound.

Not wanting to get her mind going on all the possibilities, Jessie blew out the lantern and headed from the room. It might prove to be a short night, but she needed as much sleep as she could manage. Climbing in beside the girls in her own bed, she was asleep in less than a minute.

I can stay all morning
had been Camille's words.

Jessie thought they sounded like music. She had sent the girls to be with Bri and then returned to Seth's side. That man had had a pretty good night, but his skin was very warm and Jessie, weary from interrupted sleep, took turns dozing in a chair and bathing Seth's face and chest with cool water.

Rylan visited again, bringing a pot of food Bri had made. Doctor Ertz made another appearance as well with no change in treatment. Not until almost noon did Seth wake and say something.

“Hannah?”

“She's not here,” Jessie said, standing so he could see her.

“Did she read to me?”

“Not yet. I'll tell her you're looking forward to it.”

“She's so sweet.”

“Yes, she is.”

“Where?”

“She and Clancy went to Bri's.”

Seth managed a smile.

“They love Danny.”

When Jessie saw that she was losing him again, she coaxed a bit more water into him. He drank several good swallows before he fell back to sleep. Not until Jessie tried to move to put the water back on the table did she realize Seth had a fistful of her skirt in his hand. It took her fingers to unwrap his, and when she returned his arm to the bed, he rolled to his side and slept deeply.

Jessie sank back into her chair, no longer needing to sleep but weary with wondering what their relationship would be like in the future. Lately it seemed to be all she thought about. She didn't want Seth back in her life, but he was here, and she wanted to make the best of it. Her curiosity over what he'd done and all the places he'd lived was not so she could hold it against him but because she didn't like surprises. She wanted all the details on the table, not coming out in bits and pieces for years.

Years.
The word lingered in her mind. Would he be here for years? That was probably his plan. The girls would need him for years; that was certainly true. They were little more than babies right now. When they grew enough to start noticing boys, they would need their father's help in a way she couldn't give.

Even her mother had been wise about that. She had sent Jessie at 13 years of age to have a talk with her father. Some of the things Hiram Wheeler had shared with his daughter had been rather frightening, but they'd also made her aware and wary. It had not been a stroke of luck or coincidence that Seth was the first man she'd ever been involved with. It had been by choice. She had kissed a few boys behind the schoolhouse—only kissed them—and those relationships had not been ongoing or serious. Serious had come many years later, and that was with the man lying sick in the bed. A man she didn't know quite how to handle.

“How are you holding up?” Rylan asked his wife when Danny was down for a nap and the girls were drawing on paper in the living room.

“Fine. They're awfully fun and sweet. I've never been asked so many questions in one day. In fact I plan to find out how glass is made because I don't know either.”

Simply delighted by her, Rylan bent and kissed Bri's mouth.

“What was that for?”

“You're still special.”

Bri looked at him, working to figure this out but unable to.

“Did I never tell you how often I said that to Chas after you came to town?” Rylan asked.

“I don't think you did.”

“I said it just about every time he checked with me.”

“That I was special?” Bri clarified.

“Um hm,” Rylan said, leaning to kiss her again. “And I was right.”

Bri put her arms around her husband and held him close. Rylan held her back, neither one aware of the two sets of small eyes watching them with studied interest from the living room.

“Is Seth all right?” Clancy asked when Rylan delivered the girls back at the end of the day.

“He's still sleeping, but his fever is down.”

“Can we see him?”

“Yes, but stay back away from the bed and don't ask questions.”

The girls started to run through the store, and Jessie told them to slow down. She then turned to Rylan.

“Please thank Bri for me.”

“I'll do that. I know she had fun.”

“Did they question her to death?”

“Yes, but she didn't mind.” Rylan had to laugh before adding, “She said she's going to find out how glass is made because they wanted to know and now she wants to know too.”

Jessie joined Rylan in laughter and then thanked him again. Rylan said he would check on Seth the next day. Jessie locked the door behind him and took a few minutes to put the store to rights. By the time she went upstairs to the apartment, the girls were sharing the chair in Seth's room.

“Has he been awake?” Jessie asked quietly.

“No. He even snored a little.”

Jessie had to smile at them. Their faces were serious, and she could see they wanted him to wake up in the worst way.

“Can he live here?” Hannah suddenly asked.

“You mean all the time?” Jessie asked to buy some time to think.

The little girl nodded but didn't look at her mother. Jessie hoped against all odds that meant it was a passing thought. She told the girls she was going to work on supper and was able to leave without gaining comment from either of them.

Chapter Thirteen

“I'
VE MADE SOME BROTH
for you,” Jessie said when Seth's eyes opened later that night. “Do you think you can manage it?”

“I'll try.”

“Is the pain better?”

“Yes. I'm tired.”

“I'll heat the broth and wake you if you fall back to sleep.”

“Did I miss the girls again?”

“Yes, they're asleep,” Jessie said, leaving without telling him how long they had sat in that chair and waited for him to stir. She went to the kitchen to heat the broth and thought about what Hannah had asked. She remembered that Clancy had said something about Seth living with them the first time she met her father. Seth had handled that very well. Half of her hoped that Hannah would bring the topic up again in Seth's company. She was almost certain to mention it, and some part of Jessie wanted to know what Seth would say.

“Seth.” Jessie called his name, holding the mug of warm broth. She ended up having to set it down so she could prop him up on his pillow. This woke him. “Here, drink this.”

Seth did as he was told and then thanked her wearily. Jessie got quite a bit into him before he started to fall off again. Jessie was sure she'd seen the last of him, but his eyes suddenly opened and found her.

“I'm sorry for all the trouble, Jessie.”

“It's all right. You didn't mean to get sick.”

“Tell the girls I miss them.”

“I will.”

For a moment they looked at each other, and then Jessie asked, “Do you pray at times like this?”

“Yes.”

“What did you pray?”

“I just asked for help. The pain was pretty bad, and I didn't know quite what to do with it.”

“And do you think God helped you?” Jessie asked, not able to disguise the skepticism in her voice.