Jesse's Soul (2) (5 page)

Reid brushed of his shoulder. “Hey, what can I say? I’m a hell of a teacher.”

Jesse had been plotting all morning, and right now she was laughing and in a great mood, plus he knew he had a better shot in front of her dad. He set the bike up on the stand in front of the semi and looked over at her. “So, Em, you want to come out with all of us tonight?”

And just like that, the light was gone from her again.

“I’m working, Jesse.”

Her tone was flat, and she turned so he could no longer see her face. It broke Jesse’s heart to see sadness wash over her so fast. It happened so swiftly, it almost appeared out of her control.

“Emery, go. You’ll have a good time.” Reid’s voice was softer now.

“Dad.” She turned and shook her head. Jesse could see she was telling him to back off. “I’ve got to change all the fluids again, and I want fresh gas in it, and—”

Reid interrupted. “Go. You need to. I can’t remember the last time you went out and did anything with friends.”

“Please, Em.” Jesse gave her his best sad puppy-dog face. “We won’t stay long. I promise.”

Emery crossed her arms. “What are the odds of you two getting off my ass?”

Jesse grinned bashfully at her, his attempt to look innocent purely to try to lighten the mood. “If you don’t go? Not very good. Come on. I’ll help you change the oil and the gas and whatever else you need to do.”

“Did you ever help Shawn with the bike?”

He sheepishly shrugged, embarrassed to be called out on that fact. “Well, not really.”

“So what makes you think I’d let you touch my bike?”

“You mean my bike?”

Her hands went to her hips, with her head cocked to the side, and Emery narrowed her eyes. “No. My bike.”

Watching her pink lips over-enunciate the last two words sent a jolt straight to the lower half of his body. Jesse snickered, welcoming the teasing, loving her smartass retorts much better than the haze of darkness that had washed over her only a moment ago. The pain she caused between his legs…he could definitely live with it.

“I race it.”

Emery jerked her shoulder. “Not without me keeping it running.”

“Son.” Jesse looked over at Reid who was shamelessly grinning. “You’re not going to win that argument with her. Just ask Riley.”

“Okay,” Jesse said, trying not to give in and laugh, “if I help you fix our bike, will you come?”

“It doesn’t need fixing.”

Reveling in every minute of their back-and-forth exchange, Jesse smirked and tilted his head to the side. “Okay, whatever it needs.”

He threw his hands up in the air in mock frustration and rolled his eyes. Jesse hadn’t had this much fun with a woman in…never. Her wit was quick and her tongue was sharp, a combination that could easily get a simple country boy like him in trouble. He smiled at the challenge.

“See.” Emery crossed her arms.

Jesse bit his lip. She was dead serious and he was about to bust out laughing.

“You don’t even know”—she waved him off with the flick of her hand like he was a bug—“you’re not touching my bike.”

Then she slipped
, and Jesse saw her trying her damnedest to hold it in. “You can do it, Em.”

“What?”

“Smile.”

He heard her dad quietly snicker off to the side. “Come on, Em. It makes you even prettier when you smile.” Jesse put his arm around her waist.

Her cheeks went pink instantly, and she wiggled out of his arm like he was made of fire.

“No. Business only.” Her words were steeled, the joking over.

Jesse’s heart sank, and he lowered his voice. “Em, I’m just playing around. I’m sorry, honey.”

“No. Playing around is personal.” Her words held finality to them, but suddenly her voice wasn’t nearly as strong.

Reid shook his head. Turning, he took one step into the bike trailer, but stilled to glance over his shoulder at them. “He’s one of the good ones, Em. You should give him a chance.”

He disappeared through the doors, but not before Jesse saw the disappointment in Reid’s eyes.

Emery walked over to the large toolbox on casters that stood by Jesse’s bike. She appeared to need something. She opened a couple of drawers, then rifled through the top section, but never took anything out. Moving to the small table where she had her most used items laid out on, she picked up one tool and laid it back down, then repeated with another. After the fourth time, Jesse watched as she it put both hands on the table and lowered her head.

Jesse let out a slow breath and walked over to her, putting his hand on her back. He heard the sharp breath she sucked in at his touch. Keeping his tone soft and his voice low, he took a chance. “Emery, talk to me.”

She didn’t say anything for the longest time, but finally let out a sigh. “Jesse, can you just let me do my job…and you do yours?”

He took a bold risk and slid his arm around her waist, trying to pull her close to his side, even though her head was still down. Standing close, their bodies touched from foot to hip.

With a slight shake to his head, he whispered the truth, “I’m sorry, I don’t think I can do that.”

Her voice was barely audible. “Please, Jesse. Don’t make this harder than it’s already becoming.”

That was the glimmer of hope he needed. Now he knew he was getting somewhere with her. “It’s like D told me, it’s all chemistry, Em. I am attracted to you.”

He tucked her hair behind her ear and saw her eyes were shut tight
, and then he saw her swallow hard. Call it a gut feeling or intuition, but either way, Jesse knew she had to have been put through the ringer to be this shut off. With the warmth of her body next to his, he would have given anything to be able to pull her tight and make all the hurt go away. They weren’t there yet, though, and he could tell he was going to have to take baby steps with her or risk her putting up a wall so tall he couldn’t ever hope to scale it.

“I think as hard as you’re fighting me, there may be a slim chance you feel the same way.”

For a couple of minutes, he held her close to his side, letting her get used to his warmth, silently telling her he wasn’t going anywhere. After several moments, he placed a light kiss to her shoulder.

She shivered in his hold.

“I’ll meet you at your motorhome at six. We’ll go eat at the bar, have a drink, and I’ll walk you back at eight. Give me two hours. It’ll be fun. Our whole group is going, and I know you like Molly. It’s my way of saying thank you for what you did to the bike. If you want, you can join us for lunch and hang out until then. Otherwise, I’ll see you at six.”

The tone he used had been low and sensitive, sweet even, but she was to make no mistake, it brooked no argument. Turning on his heel, he left, walking in the direction of his friends sitting by Brody’s trailer. Jesse could feel her eyes on him, and God, how he wanted to pull a one-eighty, go to her, and hold on as tight as he could.

He knew what that would get him—nothing.

Reading people wasn’t much harder than reading terrain to him. Taking in every bump, rut, and roadblock was just the same as watching every sigh, raised eyebrow, or sharp intake of breath. There was going to be a fine balance, a thread so thin it could snap at any given moment with the wrong word or a hastened push to win Emery’s trust and ultimately—her heart.

What he had figured out within moments of being with her was something he didn’t think she even knew about herself. As strong as she was, as strong as she thought she needed to be, the pain that was so incredibly visible in the clear dark green of her eyes told him everything.

Emery needed him to be stronger
than her—strong enough to pull her out of the dark.

Emery slowly spun around to watch him walk away. Her face tensed with the hurt from the past. There was no way in the world Jesse would ever understand what she had been through. Only a fool
would go there again. The whole
shame on you, shame on me
old saying.

The problem was, she could feel Jesse. Fe
lt his presence, even before she heard him, felt the tingles every time he looked her direction. She didn’t want to feel. It hurt too much and it ran too deep. But it was out of her control, something that both pissed her off and scared the hell out of her.

The door slid open and her dad tentatively stepped out. Emery could see the look on his face, could see the frustration, disappointment, and hurt in his eyes. Not at her, but for her. She hated that she’d put that look on his face, the worry lines etched in his skin, permanent reminders of the hell they’d shared. The guilt tore her up during the day and kept her from sleeping at night.

Defeated, she shook her head and threw her hands out. “What?”

“Emery, you can’t do this anymore.”

“What’s that, Dad?” She flinched at the venomous delivery of her own words.

It wasn’t his fault, but she was so done with him being on her ass
, and the season just started.

How the hell am I going to stand this for five more months?

Emery pulled in a breath, trying desperately to remain halfway calm. As much as the man frustrated the hell out of her sometimes, she adored her father. The real question was, how could she fight Jesse for five months? How could she fight both men who apparently were uniting against her?

“Give him a shot. He’s a good guy.”

As hard as she tried to keep her secrets, there were moments her dad was able to read her. There wasn’t time to pull the shield back over, and this time she couldn’t mask the pain in front of him. “Why, Dad? Why should I give him a chance? He’ll just leave.”

“He’s not your mother. And he’s sure as hell not Collin.” Reid’s eyes narrowed at the man’s name.

Emery rolled her eyes, ignoring the stab of pain that name still caused. “Tell me how you really feel, Dad.”

“You can’t handle that,” he said, shaking his head. Reid took a breath and came closer. “I just don’t want to see you end up like me.”

The admission pushed the air out of her lungs, and her brow furrowed in confusion. “What’s wrong with that? Aren’t you happy?”

“Sure. I’ve got a great job that I love and wouldn’t trade, two of the most wonderful kids in the world, my parents are both still alive and doing well, Riley’s got a sweet little wife, and I have two amazing grandkids. But, it’s sure as hell lonely, honey.”

He brushed her bangs off her face, a gesture he’d done her whole life. “Not everyone leaves, Emery. I’m sorry your mother couldn’t have been a different person. You and Riley deserved better, and I’ve made my peace with it. But Collin, what he did to you, I’ll never forgive him for it.”

He held her for several minutes before he spoke again. “I’m not going to even pretend to know how hard the last couple of years have been. It’s been the most difficult thing I’ve ever been through in my life just being your father and watching on the sidelines. But—” Reid pulled her an arm’s length away, and she looked into the green eyes that matched her
own—“it’s time to start living again. You have to, honey. You just have to.” His voice lowered on the plea.

He gave her a little smile. “There is someone out there who will understand and will love you. But if you don’t let anyone in, you’re never going to find him.” Her father hugged her tight again. “I just want you to be happy. You deserve that.”

“I am happy, Dad, here with you.”

“It’s not the same and you know it. I want you to go tonight. Even if nothing ever comes of you and Jesse, he and his friends are a good group of kids. They’re fun and you need that. You need to have people your own age to hang out with. Okay?”

“Eavesdropping again?”

“Well…”

Emery let her forehead drop against her father’s chest. “I’m going to go lay down.”

“You’re tired, aren’t you?”

“It was just a late night, you know that.”

“And you won’t do that again. You hear me?”

Her chin shot up. “Dad, I’ll do it as many times as it takes.” Her eyes narrowed as she went on guard with him again, her arm pointed behind him. “That’s my bike. It’s my name on the line, and as a matter of fact, your name as well. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep that bike on the podium. The rest is up to him, but he will never fail because of me.”

She felt a wave of heat dust across her skin at the thought, her deepest fear that she never spoke of for fear of jinxing herself. Given everything she’d been through, the thought of a bike failure was the one thing that stopped her cold.

“I love your Irish beauty, but your Irish stubborn streak is more than I can take.” Reid let out a small chuckle.

Just like that, the fire in her was gone again. Only her father could make her moods swing like a pendulum. Mike and Lance had been the only two to look her way when she raised her voice, but now they were back to their own thing again. Glancing around at the team, she smirked then raised her eyebrow at her d
ad. “My Irish stubborn streak? Grandpa always calls you a stubborn Irish horse’s ass.”

Emery nodded proudly at the retort. It was the truth and they both knew it. It had been a lifelong battle of the wills in the Kincaid household. She wouldn’t trade one minute of it, either. Her dad was her world, only surpassed by one other—her brother. Riley was her best friend. The three of them together had taken on the world. They clashed now and again, but they loved much harder than they fought.