Jeremy Poldark (23 page)

Ross put a hand through his hair. "That's
very strange."'

They went on with the clearing.

When the last dishes were in the kitchen
Elizabeth said: Thank you for your help, Ross. You're very kind and forgiving,
perhaps. Somehow I hadn't thought ..." " Forgiving?"

She avoided what she had meant to say. "But
of course there has long since been nothing to forgive, has there? Your
marriage with Demelza has been so happy."

He realised she had turned the conversation. He leaned
back on the table behind him and watched as she stacked the plates. "I
like that dress."

Her lips moved in a half-smile.

"You've grown up a little since we first
met," he said.. "A little? I feel old”

“old."

" I doubt the truth of that remark."
"Why?"

You have, your mirror. My reassurance can't add
anything to it."

"Oh," she said, "your reassurance
isn't unwelcome." And she turned to carry a dish into the kitchen beyond.

He waited until she came back. "Demelza'
would have helped you willingly if you had asked her.

"Demelza-... Of course.. Yes, she would,
wouldn't she?" Elizabeth began to put some unused cutlery away in a drawer.
Then she reached up to the cupboard above and tried to open it, but the door
had stuck.

Let me, Ross said, and came up behind her. He
put his hand on the knob and jerked the cupboard open, and she stepped back
against him. Just for a moment they were together and her hair brushed his
face. He put his arm round her, his hand closing against the velvet of her
other arm. Time briefly ceased to have progression and became an intimate perception
of a' single emotion breathed by them both - then he stepped away.

"Thank you," she said, and picked up
the jar and put it in the cupboard. "It's all the rain and damp
weather-makes the wood swell."

" Have you finished now? It must be nearly
one o'clock." "Almost. You go on, Ross. I don't need you, any
more."

"Not any more?"

She laughed slightly, but with a catch in her
voice. "Well, not that way." She had still not; turned to face him.

When he got upstairs Demelza was sitting up in
bed, darning a torn ruffle on one of his shirts. He was faintly and unreasonably
irritated because she was not asleep or trying to get off, for then she would
not have noticed how long he had been. In fact she noticed more than that,
some change in his face, on which she instantly put the right interpretation,
and a wrong emphasis.

He went across and put his pipe on the table,
began to unbutton his coat.

She said: "This weather'll hold up the
start of ploughing. The land'll get so soggy, and sad."

"Oh, we may have some fine days next
month." Because she had not asked, he forced himself to say:
"Elizabeth was in the dining room clearing the remains of the feast. I
helped her with a few things."

" She should've told me. I didn't like to
offer."

" That's what I said.”

“Did you, Ross? Did you? And what else?”
"When I saw Elizabeth I was sorry not to have my better frock. “I didn't
know we were to dress up."

“You looked very nice as you were."

But she looked nicer. " Well ... I'm glad
there's peace in the family again: But I'll not be satisfied really till Verity
and, Andrew come as well."

" Nor I." He undressed quickly and
got into bed beside her. She went on stitching.

I suppose, she thought, this had got to come
someday. Elizabeth had Ross first - even though she married Francis. Then I
came along and took him from her. But always there were some ties, some ropes
left that wouldn't break and when his interest in me began to slacken it was as
sure as life he'd turn again to her. And now she's no longer in love; with Francis.
She's heart-free, though still bound in marriage. What will happen? He's hers
again for the beckoning. He doesn't want me or my child. I think I want to die.

" Would you like me to blow out the
light?" she asked. "No ..: I don't mind; When you're ready."

“There's just this end to do. You must have
caught it somewhere."

" All my shirts are wearing out"

He thought: Were beauty under twenty locks kept
fast ... If she went to London or Bath she'd have half the aristocracy at her
feet. Instead she's immured here, in an ancient house and with a bankrupt
husband, doing half her own work. It must be galling to her to feel her life's
slipping away. She was twenty-six last birthday. Perhaps that's the reason for
the change. But it's a change towards me.

“What are you thinking of, Ross?”

"Um? Oh, about the rain. The Mellingey will
be in flood very soon."

What would have happened, he thought, if she'd
married me? Would events have been very different? Would the results have been
different? We're the slaves of our characters: would I have been happier, or
she? Perhaps there' are elements in her nature and mine which would have made
our life together difficult

Demelza said: "I was thankful to know it
was not the morbid sore throat at Killewarren. Always now I shall be frightened
out of my life of it."

"So shall we all."

“I met Miss Penvenen at Bodmin. She's a handsome
girl."

“Did you, now? Where did you see, her?"

" She - was - we were just introduced one
day... Dwight was a small matter unsettled when he came back. I think he may
feel a taking for her.”

"Isn't she promised to Unwin Trevaunance?

" I don't know. Twould be a pity if Dwight
got into something again, I mean, made a second bad choice."

And what of this young woman beside him, whom he
had loved devotedly for four years - and still did love? She had given him more
than perhaps Elizabeth ever could, months of unflawed relationship,
unquestioning trust (which he was now betraying in thought). Oh, nonsense. What
man, did not at some time or another glance elsewhere; and who could complain
if it remained as a glance? (Chance was a fine thing.) And if there had been, a
cooling between him and Demelza, hers had been the first move, not his.

He said: "What did you do with your time
while you were in Bodmin? You've never told me."

Demelza hesitated, but felt this the worst
moment for confessions. "I was so worried I can't hardly' remember.... I
don't know what I should've done if it hadn't been for Verity, that I
don't."

"No," said Ross dryly. So she was
hiding something. Queer if she too had met someone. But who? In that seething
jumble almost anyone in Cornwall. One of the Trevaunances? She had been
visiting there before-the trial on some strange business of her own. It would
explain her interest now in Caroline Penvenen, her shying away from where they
had met. Oh, it was impossible. The Trevaunances were not her sort, nor they
hers.... He stirred restlessly.

“I've just finished," said Demelza, and put
the shirt on the table and blew out the light

They lay quiet, listening now to the purr of the
rain on the glass. Demelza put her hands behind her head, but the movement was
uncomfortable and she lowered them. How much longer shall I be able to hide it?
she thought. There's no sign yet - I think, but Mrs. Chynoweth's one good eye
seemed to see everything.. Ross is not observant that way; but if Mrs. C.
suspects, she'll tell Elizabeth, who'll tell Francis, who may say something to
Ross. Anyway, he will have to know sometime. Put it off, put it off.

Count your blessings: He's safe from the worst
things, from the debtor prison for another year, from the hangman or
transportation - if he behaves-forever. He can't hardly go off with Elizabeth.
Even if he's unfaithful - should that matter? In a few months or years he may
tire of her. She may get old and withered, or fat and ugly. But that's much
more likely to happen to me.

"Are you asleep?" he said.

" No."

He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "
Good night, my love."

" Good night, Ross," she said.

After that the silence fell again and was not
broken. She thought, trying to forget the heartache, if my child's a boy,
perhaps it will make a difference, alter his feelings. We'll call him John, or
Humphrey - or even Ross.

But if it's a girl ... then we shall have no
ready name.

On the last day of the old year Myners brought a
message to the Gatehouse where Dwight was experimenting with certain poisons to
see if in small doses they had any medicinal values.

The letter, on green note paper, had been sealed
with a heraldic ring and read, as follows:

Dear Dr. Enys,

Having saved my life on Christmas Eve, you
appear to have no, further interest in my recovery. Perhaps you will be
interested to know that it is now complete. My uncle and I would nevertheless
esteem it a favour if you would call on us in the near future to assure
yourself of this and to receive Payment and our thanks for your skill of a week
ago.

I am, sir,

Yours,
etc.

Caroline Penvenen

Dwight stared at the letter and then, after a struggle
with himself, went to his escritoire and wrote his reply while the bailiff
waited.

My; dear Miss Penvenen,

I am happy to hear of, and offer my
felicitations on, your recovery. I did not, in fact, anticipate any other
outcome once the fishbone had been removed. Nevertheless I should certainly
have called, and ask your Pardon if my not doing so has seemed lacking in
courtesy; but, as you will understand, you are my colleague Dr. Choake's
patient, and it would be a breach of etiquette on my part if I continued to
attend you without his knowledge or consent. In these circumstances I have
regretfully had no alternative but to, assume an indifference to your health
which I did not feel.

As to Payment, I am amply recompensed for the
small service I performed by the knowledge of your gratitude.

I am, madam,

Your obedient servant,

Dwight Enys

When Myners had gone back - with this message
Dwight turned again to his mixtures, but the experiments had lost their savour.
In any case he had only his own stomach to experiment on, and he was already
feeling very unwell ' from the last draught he had taken, so he went for a walk
round the garden to see if the air would help the attack to pass off.

After an hour, when he was feeling better,
Myners arrived back with another message. It ran:

Dear Dr. Enys, ;

To you, no doubt, the saving of my life may seem
a very small Service indeed. To me, as I am sure you will understand, the
matter, assumes a slightly greater importance. Naturally I should not expect
you to change your opinion on this point; but I should inform you that when Dr.
Choake called on the following day my uncle sent him about his Business, and I
have therefore been without medical attention since.

I, should be obliged if you would call to-day;
and enclose a guinea, which is the smallest value, little as I esteem myself,
that I can put upon your visit of Christmas Eve.

I am, sir,

Yours,
etc.

Caroline Penvenen

Dwight went to the escritoire and sat tapping
his pen in agitation. Why not admit the truth?' He was in love with the
girl-desperately so. And the train of incident, although the women were, so
vastly different, was disturbingly close to events in his love for Keren. One
of Choake's patients - himself called in suddenly in an emergency - some
sudden-attraction - Choake turned away the following day and Dr. Enys chosen
as a permanent medical map. This far the same. Of course Keren was married but
everyone knew that Caroline was promised to the younger Trevaunance. In a sense
this situation was more explosive, for although he had eventually fallen in
love with Keren, the infatuation had been mainly hers. Not so this time. Indeed
he might be going much too fast: the infatuation might be wholly his. But the
potential danger was obvious. He did not deceive himself. Despite his good breeding,
Caroline was as much above him as Keren had been below him. Ray Penvenen
weighed money and rank in the same scale. What was lacking in one must be made
up by the other, and rumour was about that Unwin Trevaunance, despite his being
a member of Parliament and brother of a childless baronet, might only just make
the grade. Hence the delay in marriage.

Was he to intrude into this situation, already
aware of his own feelings and half afraid, half hoping that it involved hers?

Yet how to get out of it without seeming an
obvious boor? A voice within him said, Well, perhaps it would mean only this
one visit; she looked a healthy young woman not given to physical ill humours.
It would be pleasant to see her again, to receive her thanks. And, finding as
he did so many of the big houses closed against him by this doctor or that - and
not having the reputation or experience to be called in as a
consultant-wouldn't it be the plainest common sense to set his feelings aside
and take this opportunity of establishing himself with the richest family in
the district? What other physician in. his place would hesitate?

Nor would even he have hesitated if it had not
been for the memory of the tragedy of Keren. That had brought home to him his
own weaknesses, and it would be reckless to disregard them

He picked, up the pen again

My dear Miss Penvenen [he wrote],

I am obliged to you for your further letter. In
the first place I would assure you that it is far from likely that I saved your
life. Medically one would have expected the Swelling eventually to burst and
expel the foreign matter, though this not without considerable further pain and
inconvenience to yourself. In the second place I would assure you that I meant
not to put any estimate upon the importance of the complaint in its relation to
yourself but only to the trifling inconvenience I' was put to in attending upon
you.

Further, the value of your life or health is so
plainly beyond computation that to express it in terms of money would seem an impertinence,
and I am therefore taking the liberty of returning the guinea you so kindly
enclosed.

1 will wait upon you tomorrow, Saturday, in the
forenoon.

I am, madam,

Your obedient servant,

Dwight Enys

Seventeen ninety-one came in without change of
weather or other outward sign to mark the beginning of a new year. Saturday was
indistinguishable from Friday, grey and fine but with rain always heavy on the
wind. For Dwight, however, Friday was the day he had given way to a reckless
impulse; Saturday the day he must implement it. He rode over to Killewarren
with the conflict still rife in his mind.

The house was no less shabby in the light of
day. However much better circumstanced; Ray Penvenen might be than his
neighbours, he had no intention of outshining them in renewal and repair.

Caroline was waiting in the big upstairs living
room with its heavy crimson plush velvet curtains and its warm turkey rugs. She
looked as tall as a sunflower in a low-cut frock drawn tight at the waist and a
wide green skirt. Horace came yapping at him, but she silenced him, and Dwight
went across to the window where she was standing. He touched her hand.

" Dr. Enys," she said, " how kind
of you to come at last. I haven't been waiting above two hours, and the time
has passed quickly looking over the, garden. A happy New Year!"

" Thank you,.... And to you, Miss
Penvenen." As usual he had flushed. " I''m - sorry if you've been waiting.
One or two other calls took me longer than I expected. And I said the forenoon.
It's only just after eleven o'clock.”

" The other calls, of course, were more
important than mine," she said sweetly.

" Only in that the, people were more
gravely ill." " Were you so certain I was not?" "Your
letter said not."

"I might, have been bravely hiding a
serious disease. Did that never occur to you? Oh, faith, you can't be as good a
doctor as I thought."

"I am not a good doctor. There are few such
if any about.... " -

" You think I should have kept Dr.
Choake?"

"I'd prefer not to discuss it."

“Very well then, discuss me. Perhaps you would
like to examine my throat again?"

“Yes "

He moved nearer to her and she opened her mouth.
Their faces were on a level; she was at least five feet nine, he thought. He
turned her face a little more to the, light. He noticed again the slight
freckles on her nose. Her skin was warm and firm under his fingers.

"Say Ah!'

" Ah . . ." said Caroline.

" Yes, very satisfactory.. You'll have no
more trouble there." He withdrew his hands, still embarrassed, and she
closed her mouth.

She laughed.

"What is it?" he said.

"Nothing." She shrugged her bare shoulders,
half turning away. How different you are sometimes from others. To-day I might
be a sword's edge, you flinch away at a touch. The other night it was not so.
It was: Turn this way,'' and `turn that` Keep your head still! Open your
mouth and keep it open!' Bring me' a spoon! Hold the candle steady Now!"'

He half smiled through his flush. "You were
ill then.'

"So one needs to be ill to call forth the
physician, eh? Shall I swoon now or have a fit of the vapours?"

Something was shuffling and stamping in the room
underneath.

" D'you so much prefer the doctor to the
ordinary man?"

She looked out of doors, her eyes narrowed.
"I have to confess a liking for a man who knows his own mind."

Dwight's heart began to thump.

"'A man may know his own mind and at the
same time his own place."

Her eyes did not flicker. "That's a
complaint I shouldn't have thought you ever suffered from."

"Well, now that you've discovered that I
do, what would you suggest to remedy it?"

Caroline turned from the window. "Why,
refreshment, of course. Refreshment is the remedy for all manner of embarrassments.
And pray don't be frightened by the noises below. This room is over the stables
and our horses are restive for lack of exercise."

He watched her while she poured two glasses of
wine. He was grateful for this opportunity to collect his thoughts.

When she came back she said: " I should
think your hero, Mr. Ross Poldark, must be a man who very clearly knows his own
mind every instant of the day. And, having-come to his decisions, I imagine he
puts them through with the utmost ruthlessness and determination. Canary?"

You're quite right." He took the glass.
"Thank you. At least you're quite right as to the determination. But I
shouldn't put his wife behind him at all in that respect"

"I've met her."' Caroline sighed.
" A handsome enough creature in a sort of way. But not with the 'stick at
nothing' look of her husband. You must bring him over sometime. I think he
would divert me."

"I'm afraid that would be difficult."

"He's not on call like a lackey or a
doctor? Is that what you were going to say? Well, I did not suppose he would
be. But perhaps we can arrange it. A biscuit?" "No, thank you."

The horses were shuffling again. She bent her
head. "That's Firefly. I know his stamp. Are you fond of riding, Dr. Enys?
For pleasure, I mean."

" I'm in the saddle so much about my business
that I get little time-?'

" We must ride together one of these
days." She put a hand up to her hair. "I'll let you know. I may even
venture to summon you here from a sick bedside. - from some really important
case, not merely a fishbone or a triviality of that nature."

"I'm sure you'll appreciate," he said
impatiently, "that there are in fact serious cases about that make demands
on one's time and one's compassion. Scrofula among the undernourished children,
phthisis among their fathers; the tertian fever has been everywhere this year,
and, scorbutus is spreading in Sawle. Thomas Choake is more interested in his
hunting and those of his fashionable patients who can pay him. I deal with what
I can and the rest go to ignorant rascally druggists or old women who brew rats
tails and sell them as elixirs. It's hard sometimes to maintain, a sense of
proportion that everyone can appreciate."

" Yes," she said after a minute,
quizzically, " I think I do like you after all."

“It's very gratifying: I'm sensible of the
honour.. Now, I'm afraid I must be going as there are several more in this
district I must see. Will you give my kind respects to your uncle . .”

“Wait. Don't be so stiff. I should prefer five
minutes more of your attention. What are all these diseases with their Latin
names? They interest me. What, are you doing, for them?

“Can you cure them? I think I should like to
have been a physician or a barber surgeon - I have never had the least aversion
for blood."

I can do next to nothing for the scrofulus
conditions. Once the poisonous humour betrays itself the sufferer is likely to
face a lingering death. For phthisis there are two cures for every forty
failures. Few people die of the tertian ague but many fall a prey to other
things from its weakening effects. For scorbutus I can do everything and
nothing. A doctor's drugs are useless, but certain foods can bring about an
almost immediate cure. However, those foods are unprocurable by the people of
Sawle, so they must bleed and die."