Jennifer Murdley's Toad (Magic Shop Books) (9 page)

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She was a toad of great virtue, wise, funny, and loving. Life seemed perfect: we were young, we were in love, and we expected to live forever. But that short taste of heaven ended the day she disappeared.

"Frantic, I searched everywhere for her. The other Immortal Vermin helped. For a long time there was no word of her. Then one of the Vermin picked up a rumor: a witch was after us--specifically after the immortal toads, because she believed that hidden in our foreheads is a gem that will grant perfect happiness to whoever possesses it."

"Is that true?" asked Jennifer.

"If it is, it certainly hasn't done me any good," said Bufo gruffly. "It's possible the gem simply doesn't work for the toad who was born with it. One theory is that it has to be extracted from the forehead and given to someone."

"But is it really there?" persisted Jennifer, staring at Bufo in fascination.

"Why? Do you want it?" he asked, sounding like Darth Vader.

"No! I'm just interested is all."

"Follow me," said Bufo. He hopped across the top of the dresser, moving slowly because the space was fairly cluttered, stopping when he reached the small nightlight that was plugged into the wall. When Jennifer had joined him he turned to face her, then scrunched down, raised his front feet to his forehead, and began to pull at the skin. After

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a moment the skin parted. Beneath the opening, embedded in the flesh of Bufo's forehead, was a small green gem. It sparkled, even in the dim rays of the nightlight.

"Behold," said Bufo. "The Jewel of Perfect Happiness."

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NINE

Oscillatory Experiment

"May I touch it?" asked Jennifer.

"I'd rather you didn't," said Bufo. He lowered his toes, which let the skin close back over the opening. "Besides, I don't think merely touching it will do you any good. Certainly hasn't done much for me," he said, his voice still heavy with sorrow.

Jennifer drew back. "What happened next?"

"I continued to search for Esmerelda. The Brotherhood of the Vermin grew slowly smaller. Despite the fact that we didn't die by normal means, every now and then one of us would meet with an accident. Others simply chose to leave the forest to explore the world at large. Of course, once in a while we would discover someone new."

"Someone new?" asked Jennifer.

"A new immortal. It didn't happen very often. Once that girl knew toads and snakes would pour out of her mouth every time she spoke, she didn't say much. But I guess she still felt compelled to

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speak on occasion, because every now and then a handful of new immortals would enter the forest.

"After a while I decided to leave the woods. With Esmerelda gone I had no real reason to stay, and part of me had always wondered if she had grown angry for some reason and run away.

"And thus have I wandered the world for centuries, seeking my lost love. But alas, alas, not a sign of her have I seen."

Bufo sang these last words in a voice that reminded Jennifer of the wandering minstrel who performed at the Renaissance Faire the Murdleys visited every summer.

"Is that why you were crying last night?" she asked after a moment.

"You weren't supposed to hear that."

Jennifer didn't say anything.

Bufo sighed. "It's true. I was weeping for Esmerelda."

"Then you've been true to her all this time?" asked Jennifer. She was slightly amazed at the idea, since at least three families on their street had had divorces in the last year or so.

"Yes, I have," said Bufo sharply. "Not that I've had that many opportunities for hanky-panky. After all, I'm not interested in your average, garden-variety toad; I need a woman I can talk to. And there ain't that many witty, literate, immortal lady toads to be found."

Jennifer made a mental note not to say anything too witty or literate while she was still a toad.

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"What were you doing in the magic shop?" she asked after a brief silence.

"A temporary haven. I had been working for wizards off and on over the years. About ten years ago I was having some trouble with my current boss and the old man took me in. I helped around the place a bit, kept track of records for him, did a few of the kinds of chores that a brilliant immortal toad is best at. Funny old coot, that Elives. I think I was at least as surprised as you were when he sold me to you."

"Why
did
he do that?" asked Jennifer.

Bufo lifted his warty brown shoulders in a shrug. "Who knows? But I've never known him to do something without a reason."

Jennifer hoped that Mr. Elives' reason didn't have anything to do with her becoming a toad and filling the hole in Bufo's life. Before she could find a way to say that without being too insulting, Brandon's phone began to ring again.

"Should we answer it?" she asked in a whisper. Glancing at Bufo, she noticed that his eyes were larger and rounder than usual. But before the toad could give his opinion, Brandon reached out and lifted the phone off the hook.

"Murdley Residence," he said, his voice muzzy with sleep.

He held the receiver for a moment, then lifted it away from his ear. "Jennifer," he said, "It's for you."

Jennifer felt her heart begin to speed up. "Who is it?"

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Brandon put the phone back to his ear and repeated her question. "His name is Elives," he said after a moment.

Jennifer felt a surge of relief. At least it wasn't the woman from the beauty parlor. "Bring the phone up here, Bran, would you?" she croaked.

Brandon stood and lifted the red plastic phone onto the dresser. Jennifer noticed with amusement that his eyes were hardly open. "Thanks, sweetie," she said. "You can lie back down now."

He settled back to the floor without realizing that his sister was now a toad. His thumb finding its way back to his mouth as if guided by radar, he sighed once and was sound asleep again.

Envying his peaceful oblivion, Jennifer squatted beside the receiver. "Hello, Mr. Elives," she said, trying to keep her voice from quaking.

"Jennifer, I just learned that you've been turned into a toad. I need to warn you that the spell is dangerous."

"What do you mean?"

"If you stay in that form for more than ten hours, the change will be permanent."

An icy fear crept into Jennifer's heart. How much time did she have? She had put Brandon to bed at eight. So it couldn't have been later than 8:10 when Skippy kissed her.

Which meant that at a little after six in the morning she would become a toad forever.

"What can I do?" she asked urgently.

Mr. Elives' response sounded impatient. "You

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have realized that the kiss can be passed on, haven't you?"

"Yes."

"Well, keep passing it around until a more permanent solution comes along. Find a friend to share it
with. Just make sure that no one stays a toad for more than nine hours and fifty-nine minutes."

"We can't go on doing that forever!" said Jennifer desperately.

"It will have to do until something better comes along," snapped the old man. "Listen, opportunities are all around you. Most people simply don't realize they are there. Keep looking, keep listening, keep thinking. The answer will present itself. Let me speak to Bufo."

"Certainly," said Jennifer. Slightly dazed, and a little angry, she turned to Bufo and said, "He wants to talk to you."

Bufo hopped over and squatted next to the phone. "Hey, boss," he said, trying to sound cheerful. Though Jennifer could not make out the words coming from the receiver, the tone and the volume, and the way Bufo winced, gave her a pretty good idea of the kind of thing Mr. Elives might be saying. Bufo kept trying to respond, but never seemed to be able to get past, "Yes, but ..." and "Well, I didn't ..."

Jennifer was astonished at the idea of someone being able to outtalk Bufo. But suddenly the expression on the toad's face changed. His eyes went wide, and he listened more intently. Then he

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blinked, and Jennifer could tell that the line had gone dead.

"What did he say?" she asked.

"He's annoyed with me for kissing Sharra to begin with. I swear I had no idea that it would turn her into a toad. She's the first human I ever kissed, and that was only to annoy her. It's not as if I find her attractive or anything. Anyway, once he finished bawling me out, he said, 'The wheel is turning, hearts are burning, what's worth learning is never free.' I tried to ask what the heck that meant, but he hung up."

"Is he always like that?"

"Yeah, he likes to keep people on their toes. Part of that 'air of mystery' he likes to cultivate."

"Where is he now?"

Bufo shrugged. "He could be anywhere. He moves that shop around like a con man shuffling shells and peas. What I don't know is if he's the one who decides where to go, or if he's taking orders from someone else. I do know you can't find the place if he doesn't want you to. So he must have had some reason for letting
you
come in."

"I suppose he let me in so that I could get turned into a toad," said Jennifer bitterly. "I just wish I could figure out what I did to deserve this."

"Don't be silly," said Bufo. "Things aren't over yet."

"Right," said Jennifer. "Which means there's still a chance that they can get worse."

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"You may think that's happened already when you hear my next idea," said Bufo.

Jennifer swallowed nervously--an interesting sensation when done with a toad's throat. "What is it?" she asked.

"Give me a kiss."

"I knew it!" she cried. "I knew I was going to have to kiss you before this was all over!"

"You don't have to kiss me if you don't want to!" said Bufo, sounding hurt. "I just thought that it might reverse things. You know--one kiss turns you into a toad, the second one turns you back."

"Do you really think so?" asked Jennifer suspiciously.

"I have no idea," said Bufo. "I told you, I never kissed a human until that little blond bombshell got me so annoyed. It's just a thought."

"Wouldn't Mr. Elives have mentioned it if that was true?" asked Jennifer.

"Not necessarily. He might not know. And if he did, he might not tell. He's big on letting people work things out for themselves."

"How do I know it won't just double-toad me?" asked Jennifer.

"You don't!" said Bufo, his voice tinged with exasperation. "Look, it's not my life's ambition to kiss you. I'm just making an offer."

Jennifer sighed.
I
may be the only kid on earth so ugly even a toad doesn't want to kiss me,
she thought bitterly.

"Well?" asked Bufo.

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"I'm
thinking!"

"Don't blow a brain cell on my account," he snapped.

"All right, all right! Let's try it."

Gathering her courage, she hopped closer to Bufo. "Just a little one," she said nervously.

"You're the boss," replied Bufo, pursing his lips.

Jennifer leaned forward, and planted her lips against his.

No thunder rumbled above them. No cloud of smoke formed from the air.

Yet a strange sensation jolted through Jennifer's frame. To her astonishment, Bufo jumped backward--something she had never seen a toad do before.

"Good grief," he said, "I had no idea
that
would happen!"

"What?" cried Jennifer. "What is it?"

But she didn't need Bufo to answer. Once she was calm enough to take stock of the situation, she could see for herself what had happened. It wasn't clear if she was more toadly than ever, but she was certainly more of a toad than ever. Exactly twice the toad she had been, in fact--which is to say that she seemed to have doubled in size.

"Remarkable," said Bufo.

" 'Remarkable'!" cried Jennifer. "Is that all you can say? You come up with this stupid 'Kiss me' idea, turn me into the biggest toad in the state, and the best you can come up with is 'remarkable'?"

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"Astonishing," said Bufo. "Incredible, amazing, and slightly stupefying. Does that make you feel better?"

"Don't be such a smart aleck," said Jennifer. "What am I going to do now?"

"I'm sure you can get one of the others to change places with you for a while," said Bufo.

"Probably," said Jennifer. "But when I turn back into a human, will I be my usual size, or will I be nine feet tall?"

Bufo shrugged. "I told you, this is all new to me."

Jennifer hopped to the edge of the dresser and stared into the darkness.