Jekel Loves Hyde (27 page)

I allowed myself to be dragged along, eyes darting around the room for a hiding place, although I knew hiding would be futile.

"Where are we going?"

"You
are leaving," Tristen whispered, dropping the knife and raising a window.

"Not without you," I objected, wriggling as he wrapped one arm around my waist, lifting me.

"Jill, stop fighting and go!"

I twisted against him. "Not without you!"

Across the room the door rattled on its hinges, and that terrible voice roared out Tristen's name, summoning him. "Open this door now,
son!"

"Jill." Tristen spun me around to face himself. "This is inevitable for me. Allow it to happen."

"Not tonight." I shook my head. "I won't go
without you."
We stayed deadlocked for just one more second, and then, just as the door shuddered again, struck from outside by a beast whose rage was palpable, Tristen agreed. He didn't say anything, but somehow we both understood that we would go together.

"Run, Jill," he said, pushing me out the window. I watched from outside as he snatched up the old notes, crammed them in the box, grabbed the knife, and followed, dropping to the ground and clasping my hand in his. "Just run."

Tristen was one of the best runners in the state, and it seemed like I borrowed some of his power as we tore away from the school and into the darkness. I felt like we were both flying, like nothing could catch us, not even a monster as strong as the one I feared was on our heels.

232

But thinking back, I'm sure that Tristen slowed his pace to match mine.

That seemed like something Tristen Hyde would do, even if it put his own life at risk.

Chapter 72
Jill

"ARE YOU GOING TO BE OKAY?"
Tristen asked, standing in the shadows behind my house.

"Yes," I said. "Mom's home tonight. I'll be safe."

"I'll stay until you get inside. Then lock the door behind you." I started to step up onto the back porch. "Tristen ... you're not going back, are you?"

"No, Jill," he promised. "He wouldn't be there, anyway."

"You could come inside."

Tristen shook his head and shifted the box under his arm. "No. I'll hide this and go home."

"Home? But--"

"It's too cold to sleep outside." Tristen attempted a joke. "And I think, now, that he doesn't plan to confront me in our house, anyhow."

"Why," I wondered aloud, "do you think he came to the

"I'm sure he's watching me, knows what we're doing, and hoped to find me with the formula," he said. "For, more than killing me, he wants me to drink and continue our legacy."

A spark of hope flickered inside of me. "What if you did it?" I 233

ventured. "You could always drink it and buy time, with the intention of changing back..."

But he was already shaking his head. "No. It's too risky. Who knows what I might do under its influence?" He paused, and I could hear the reluctance in his voice as he added, "You know that my father likely killed yours, over the formula?" I stood in silence, letting Tristen's words sink in. And yet I knew that I wasn't as shocked as I should have been by the suggestion. Had a part of me guessed that Dr. Hyde was involved in Dad's death? Had I pushed the clues and coincidences out of my mind as Mom had healed under his care--and as I'd come to love Tristen? Because to love the son of my father's killer would be so wrong ...

"I'm sorry," Tristen said, hanging his head, like he really did share responsibility for Dr. Hyde's crime.

"I wonder," I mused with a bit of my old foolish hope for Dad's redemption, "if maybe my dad was trying to
help
yours."

"Yes, I believe so," he said, looking at me again. "I found an unfinished document on my father's computer in which he

discussed working with an anonymous collaborator on a cure for the madness that he knew was overtaking him."

My heart started to race. "My dad?

"Yes," he confirmed. "Our fathers were also excited about broader possibilities for the formula if they perfected it. They saw implications for opening whole new avenues of study in

personality manipulation and social control."

"You never told me that," I said, stunned. "Why not?" His brown eyes clouded with remorse. "I couldn't bring myself to tell you. How could you look at me again, knowing what my father likely did to yours?" He gave a rueful laugh. "Not that my own sins weren't enough to drive you away."

234

A part of me still hadn't accepted, or absolved, Tristen for killing. A part of me also knew that it was terrible to love the son of my dad's murderer. But I loved him anyhow. "Forget that," I urged.

"You aren't a monster--and we aren't our parents. I don't blame you for your father's actions."

"I think your dad really believed that he would restore your college fund and then some," he added. "They had very high hopes for professional--and by extension, financial--gain."

A huge lump grew in my throat. Tristen had largely just vindicated my father, like I'd hoped for. And yet Dad was still gone, Tristen's father was maybe worse than dead, and Tristen and I ... the future didn't look good for us, either.

"Go inside, Jill," he finally said. "I'll be fine tonight." Tonight. But not for long.

I hesitated, one foot still on the step. "Tristen?"

"Yes?" He stepped closer and raised his hand, brushing my stray lock of hair behind my ear. "What is it?"

I caught his hand in mine and laced our fingers, squeezing our palms together. Although it was very dark, I saw what I wanted to see in his eyes. "Come over tomorrow night," I offered. "You need something decent to eat, and you could rest." I felt myself blush as I added, "Mom will be at the hospital almost all night..." He hesitated. "I don't know, Jill. It might not be safe for you." No. It wouldn't be safe. Being with Tristen would be the riskiest thing I'd ever done, for my body and my soul and especially my heart, which would be shattered if anything really happened to him. But I was convinced that being with Tristen Hyde would be
right.
"Just come," I said, rising on tiptoes to kiss his lips lightly.

"For me."

"Okay," he agreed.

235

He waited while I went inside and locked the door behind me. Then I watched from a window while he disappeared into the night, praying that he hadn't lied about going back to the school.
Chapter 73
Jill

"JILL, I'M GOING TO WORK,"
Mom said, poking her head into my room. "Don't stay up too late painting, okay?"

"I won't," I promised, checking the clock. Tristen would arrive in about a half hour. "I'm wrapping up soon."

She stepped into the room, joining me at my easel. She stared first at the painting and then at me, seeming confused. "I thought this portrait was due soon."

"I'll finish in time," I said, with more conviction than I felt.

"You'd better add some eyes!" Mom teased with a grin. She was subtly pressuring me to finish my assignment, but I didn't mind. I was just glad for the genuine smile.

"Do I ever let you down?" I asked--and pushed away a twinge of guilt. Mom would be very disappointed if she knew what I planned to do with Tristen that night. But we
had
to be together. It was like I didn't have a choice. I checked the time again. "You should probably get going, huh?"

"Yes," she agreed, giving me a kiss on the cheek. "Have a good I would. I definitely would. "You, too."

I listened as she got her coat and keys, and when the back door 236

shut behind her, I abandoned painting, too nervous and excited to work.

Was I ready?

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Did I look okay?

I straightened my back, checking myself in profile, then went to my dresser and reached into my drawer, feeling for the black bra, thinking that I would look better in that and that a guy would like it. But when my fingers touched the silky fabric I hesitated.
I
hadn't chosen it,
stolen
it...

I shoved the bra farther back, thinking it felt tainted somehow, and wrong for the night I wanted to have. As wrong as the formula, which was also hidden in there.

I didn't need that either, right?

But I could keep it in my nightstand, just in case I got nervous ... I was just about to wrap my fingers around the vial when I heard a knock on the front door and yanked my hand back, horrified by my own behavior. Tristen was here. He would be sickened if he knew I'd stolen--
tasted
--the formula.

Slamming the drawer shut, I raced down the stairs and threw open the door. "Tristen ..."

But it wasn't Tristen who stood on the other side.

Chapter 74
Jill

"BECCA, WHAT ARE DOING
HERE?"
I asked as she stepped into the foyer, uninvited.

"I have to talk to you," she said. "Now." 237

"This isn't a good time."

But Becca barged past me into the living room. "It won't take long. I just need to tell you something. About Tristen."

I knew, before she went any further, what she wanted to talk about. I knew that I was about to learn the truth about what had happened between my friend and the guy I loved over the course of the previous summer. And from the look on Becca's face, that was a truth I didn't want to know.

"Not now, Becca," I said. "Please. Not now." Not right before Tristen was about to walk into the house, go with me up to my room ...

"I know you guys are together," she said. "But I also know a secret about him, Jill."

I shook my head. "Becca ... you don't have to tell me--"

"I was with Tristen this summer," she blurted. "We had sex. By the river. And he
changed,
Jill. Tristen
changed,
and it was scary. It was like he got...
rough."

Becca probably thought all the blood rushed from my cheeks because she'd just told me that Tristen had a violent side. But I'd lived through that. It was the admission that they'd had sex, that's what sort of killed me. I'd suspected that they'd hung out. Kissed, maybe. But
sex?
"That's enough," I said. "You don't need to tell me more. Please."

"Jill." She rested her hand on my shoulder. "You
need to
know this."

"I don't..."

"We were on the riverbank," Becca continued, ignoring my protests, "and Tristen was kissing me, whispering this
amazing
stuff in my ear." Although she was telling a story that was supposedly terrible, a smile started to play on her lips. "I swear, I was thinking that Tristen Hyde was, like, the
best
guy I'd ever been with."

238

"Please, stop touching me," I begged, pushing her hand away. Her hand that had touched Tristen. "Stop telling me this!" But she was lost in memory and still had that small smile on her red lips. "I mean, we couldn't tear each other's clothes off fast enough!"

"Becca." I couldn't bear picturing Tristen undoing buttons on Becca's shirt, her hands moving to his jeans ... "Please!"

"Calm down, Jill." She interrupted her story, jerking back to reality and shooting me a look of frustration. "It didn't mean anything! We were just at a party and got carried away! You don't have to get all jealous!"

I stared at her, speechless. How could I not be jealous? Becca had Tristen first and it hadn't even really
mattered
to her. I knew that I was being irrational. They had been together before Tristen had even noticed me. And yet I couldn't think logically. I just kept picturing them down by the river, Tristen whispering in Becca's ear, removing her clothes ...

"But suddenly," she continued, "and I mean, right at
the
big moment, Tristen got
different,
and I was
scared of
him." She paused, then added, like she was doing me a great favor, "I don't want that to happen to you, Jilly."

I glared at my "friend" through tears. "That" already
had
happened. I'd lived through the bad with Tristen. But Becca ... she'd beaten me to the good part.
Stolen
it from me on a whim, without a second thought. And by doing so, and telling me too much, she'd stolen
Tristen
from me.

Of course, he was guilty, too. The searing, rending pain in my chest, the actual breaking of my heart... those were Tristen's fault, too. This time he couldn't blame his actions on an alter ego or a formula that
my family
had poisoned him with generations ago. 239

Tristen had chosen, of his own free will, to have sex just for the hell of it, with my friend.

And me ... I'd been so stupid to think that he considered what we were about to do
special.

What had Tristen whispered to Becca before he'd changed? Had he looked into her eyes the same way he looked into mine? I clenched my fists, struck by a terrible thought. If things hadn't gone wrong that night, would Tristen still be with beautiful Becca?

Was Jill Jekel just a last resort yet again?

"Get out!" I cried, pointing to the door. "Just go!"

"Don't be mad at me!" Becca was clearly surprised by my reaction. "I'm doing you a favor. And I didn't think
you
would ever get together with him when we did it!"

"No?" I snapped. "Why not? Because Jill Jekel could
never
get a hot guy?"

"Jill..." she stammered. "I didn't mean that..."

"Yes, you did!"

"Look. You're
way
overreacting." She jammed her hands into her pockets. "Christy Hitchcock's parents are out of town. There's a big party at her house tonight. Why don't you come? It might help to be around people. Put things in perspective."

"A
party?"
I was incredulous. "You think a
party
will fix what you just did?"

"You're making a big deal out of nothing." Becca sighed. "I mean, everybody has sex! You didn't think Tristen Hyde was a
virgin,
did you?"

No, I hadn't thought that, and yet... "Get out," I ordered her again.

"Just leave me alone!"

"Whatever." She headed for the door. I got the sense that she felt like she'd met her obligation to me and was wiping her hands 240