Jealousy (11 page)

I
hate
it when they blink in and out of sight like that. I almost flinched. “Uh, yeah.” I couldn’t even say it like he was an idiot or anything. I was too badly rattled. “Had my door barred and everything. But I . . . heard something.”

“Is some sleep too much to ask?” Graves moaned from the bed. “Jesus Christ, what’s happening now?”

“This is bad,” Leon murmured, finally arriving and casting a mild, raised-eyebrow look down at Blond No.1’s sock feet.

Dammit, why couldn’t I remember their names? Thomas and something. Something with a G, maybe?

“What did you hear?” Benjamin planted his sneakered feet and leaned forward, like a terrier straining at the leash. “Dru?”

George.
I remembered the name and felt immediately, oddly better. Like I’d accomplished something. “Someone knocked. But it didn’t feel right. I didn’t feel like opening the door.” Great. Now he was going to think I was a stubborn brat or something.

So let him. What was Anna doing anyway? Why would the warding react to her and not to the boys?

Amazingly, Benjamin looked over his shoulder at Leon. They shared the kind of Significant Glance I was used to seeing between adults. Then the dark-haired
djamphir
shook his emo-boy fringe down and turned his attention to me. “That’s good.” As if praising me for a test answer. “Don’t open your door if you’re not sure. You should trust your instincts on this. And we’ll post a guard instead of—”

“What did
you
see?” Screw the rest of it. I wanted to know that, first.

“I thought . . .” He shook his head. “I don’t know. I thought you were running down the hall to visit the Broken again. I’ve heard a
svetocha
can do that—make a game out of slipping away sometimes. It must be . . . hard, to have someone with you everywhere you go.”

Boy, you don’t know the half of it.
I shrugged. I’d still prefer it to being killed by a sucker.

Always assuming, of course, that I could trust whoever was guarding me. That was the whole problem, wasn’t it?

“What the hell’s going on?” Graves wanted to know.

“I don’t have a problem with it,” I told Benjamin. “I know better.”
Unless one of you is a traitor and looking to kill me.
I didn’t say it, but I also didn’t stop watching the kid with the Walther. He was staring off down the hall the other way, his back to the wall, but it’s Rule Numero Uno when there’s a gun out—you make sure you know where it’s pointed at all times.

“That’s good.” Benjamin sounded relieved. “That’s really good. I thought I saw you running down the hall. But it couldn’t have been you, since you were here. Maybe it was a curiosity-seeker or something.” He gave
me
a Significant Glance, as if I was supposed to help him out with this.

Yeah, that really makes sense.
“I dunno.” I closed my mouth after that. Anna was supposed to be a secret, but she sure didn’t act like it. And would she be a secret here at the Schola Prima, among all the
djamphir
? She’d walked right past Graves and Benjamin and them to get into the Council room, right?

Still, just because she was all over the place didn’t mean I had to hand out information like cupcakes. Besides she predated me here and was the head of the Council.

“Oh, come
on
.” Leon actually snorted. “It was the Red Queen.”

“Isn’t she a myth?” Thomas noticed I was looking at the gun and actually flushed. It went into a holster under his left armpit, and I relaxed a little. “Oh, sorry.”

I shrugged. Again. I was getting good with the shrugging. I could practice in front of the mirror and have a different one for each occasion.

Benjamin was watching my face, too. “No, she is not a myth. She’s just kept from the
hoi polloi
like us. And very busy with her duties. You saw her this morning.”

Thomas absorbed this. “I thought she’d be taller.”

Sockfoot George asked the question I wanted answered most. “What was she doing
here
, then? And without bodyguards? Unless they were here in Shadow.”

Oh, great. All eyes on you, Dru.
“I don’t have a clue.” And I didn’t.

They all stood there for a couple seconds just
looking
at each other. And I jumped—Graves was right behind me. He did something odd, then—he put his arms around my waist and hugged me. We’re both tall, but he seemed to have gotten taller. Back in the Dakotas we were almost eye to eye. Or maybe it just seemed that way because he hunched over all the time, his body shutting itself away from a world it wanted no part of.

And the
djamphir
boys stared at me again. I blushed for no discernible reason. I was turning red an embarrassing amount of the time lately.

So first Graves liked me too much, but then he would hug me in front of other boys?

“Yes. Well.” Benjamin cleared his throat. “Twenty-four-hour guard. Posted at the door. Someone with her at
all
times.”

“It will likely be me, since you don’t have waivers yet. Damn paperwork.” Leon shrugged. “No worries. This is interesting.” As if he was watching a TV show or something, settled on the couch with a beer in hand. Though I couldn’t imagine any of them kicking back with a brew. They just seemed too . . .
old
. Or too serious.

Fighting vampires is serious business, yeah. But that seriousness on those unlined faces was oddly, well, obscene. It wasn’t what they were
supposed
to look like.

“Terrifying is more like it,” Thomas muttered. “The Red Queen.”

“Second thoughts, Tommy?” Leon’s smile couldn’t have been called nice.

The blond
djamphir
grinned back, a wide white showing of teeth. “Not on your life, Fritz.” A rumble ran beneath the words, almost like a werwulf’s warning growl.

Oh, hold up.
“Wait. Wait a second. You guys know about her?”

“The first-years think she’s a myth. You don’t even learn of her existence until you pass your third-year boards.” George looked worried. “Before we got this job a frontline grunt like me would never even
see
a
svetocha
. Now they’re coming out of the woodwork. Even mythical ones.”

“She’s not that old; I remember when she was rescued. She doesn’t qualify as a
myth
.” Leon sighed. “There’s no point in sleeping more. Not with orientation and classes.”

“Orientation?” I swear to God my knees almost buckled. I was glad Graves was standing right there. “Classes?”

“Both for you, classes for us. Except Leon.” Benjamin effectively shut down further discussion by turning away. “And tomorrow, Dru, I suggest we go clothes shopping.”

I already did
. But I didn’t say it. Because getting out and away from the Schola was seeming like a good idea. A
fabulous
idea. “Okay.”

“I’ll take you down to the cafeteria first thing.” Now Leon’s unsettling grin was directed at me. “Food and a bunch of staring eyes. Best just to get it over with, right?”

“Right,” I said grimly and shoved Graves back by the simple expedient of stepping back myself. How we did that without getting our legs tangled, I don’t know. But we managed it, and I was happy about that. “Sure. Give me fifteen.”

“You don’t need to hurry. An hour will do.”

But I was already closing the door. Graves let go of me, and after I locked everything, I turned halfway and we sized each other up.

He was blushing furiously. So was I. We stood there, crimson-cheeked, and just looked at each other.

“Graves—” I began, but he spoke at the same time.

“Dru—” His eyes were so green; ever since he got bit, they’d been getting lighter and more intense.

We both laughed. It was crazy, hysterical laughter, but that was okay. I leaned against the door, chuckling until tears squirted out my eyes. He bent over and hugged his midriff and made little
ah-ah-ah
sounds because he couldn’t get enough air in.

Sometimes you’ve just
got
to let off a little steam. Especially when you’ve been running on nerves and adrenaline for weeks.

It was over all too quickly, though. I wiped at my cheeks, he finally got some air in, and we were left where we were before, staring awkwardly at each other.

“What was that?” he finally asked, running his fingers back through his hair. It stood up in black spikes, but the effect was softer now since it was growing out. “I didn’t even hear you get up.”

“I was on the computer. Getting clothes and stuff.”
Do you need a cup, dude?
I swallowed the question and a stray laugh at the same time. “I, um, I guess we should talk.”

“After I brush my teeth.” But he made no move to step away. “Jesus, can’t get clothes soon enough. I’m getting sick of wearing the same thing all the time.”

I hear you.
A thin spike of guilt went through me—this was twice that everything he owned got taken away because of me. “I got you some stuff. And it sounds like they’re taking us shopping tomorrow.”

“They’re taking
you
shopping tomorrow.” He didn’t mean it the way it sounded. Or maybe he did because right after the words left his mouth he looked faintly ashamed of them. His earring swung as he ducked his head, running his fingers through his shaggy hair.

“Us. Or I’m not going.” I folded my arms and looked at the blue carpet. “So, can I ask you something? About . . . that.”

“About what?”

What the hell did he think I was talking about? But he was a boy, and therefore oblivious. Still, I’d pretty much used up all my brass for today and was going to have to use up tomorrow’s in about an hour. So I studied the carpet like it would give me an idea. Said nothing.

He lasted about five seconds, then coughed a little. “I, uh, I mean, jeez. Did I, you know, offend or something?”

“No, no.” I shook my head. Goddammit, my cheeks were burning
again
. My mother’s locket was warm, and I shot a little glance up at him, just to gauge where we were.

He was looking at me like I had something on my face. I found out I had enough brass left, after all. Or maybe I could borrow some.

“I just, well, wanted to know where we stand. That’s all.” There. It was out. If I’d been misreading everything, I wanted to know.

“Oh.” Then he was quiet for so long I thought I’d scream. “I, uh. Jeez. Well.”

Screaming was definitely an option. Okay, so I
had
misjudged. I mean, I didn’t think you could misjudge, what with sticking your tongue in a boy’s mouth. But I guess I did. He either liked me or he didn’t, or maybe he did but I wasn’t worth the trouble, or . . .

Jesus
. Swearing off guys completely was an option. It wasn’t like I’d be having a lot of time for extracurricular stuff, what with vampires trying to kill me and everything else.

But, you know, I would’ve liked to fit that in. With him. “Okay.” I headed past him for the bathroom. “Dibs on the toilet, then. Forget I asked.”

“Dru . . .” He said it like he was running out of air.

“No, really. It’s cool. I just—”

“I
like
you, okay? I do. It’s just . . . you’ve got all this other stuff going on. And vampires trying to take your head off the hard way.”

I swallowed, hard. “Like there’s an easy way?” But my heart swelled up like a balloon. It had been a long, long time since I’d felt anything close to this. After a few seconds I decided
happy
was a pale word for it. “Okay. Cool. I like you, too. We’ve pretty much established it. We’re being careful, right?”
Whatever that means.

“Yeah, uh. Um.” Now he had something stuck in his throat. I was grinning like a fool. He hunched up again, like he was expecting a punch or something.

“So, yeah. I guess that’s that. Dibs on the toilet.” And I bolted for the bathroom like I was running away. I just didn’t want to laugh and give him the wrong idea.

I should’ve been more worried. But there’s only so much worry you can stand all the time. And if Graves was with me, well, I didn’t have so much to worry about, right? We’d handled everything else the Real World could throw at us. And whatever Anna was doing at my door could wait.

It was the first time in weeks the hole in my chest seemed less angry and empty. And I was really, really happy about that.

The entire cafeteria,
full of fluorescent light and the competing aroma of boys and industrially prepared food, went silent as soon as I showed up.
Djamphir,
wulfen, they all stopped and stared at me. I stood right inside the doors for an uncomfortable ten seconds before Graves pushed me from behind and got me going again.

It was hard to eat with everyone staring. But Graves was there, looking around like he was enjoying himself. He put away a whole plate of pancakes, a mountain of hash browns, and a mound of crispy bacon in the time it took me to pick halfway through my cellophane-wrapped ham sandwich.

Good for him.

Leon led me through a labyrinth of quiet halls away from the sound of slamming lockers and male voices. The flooring changed to hardwood, and the marble busts came back, staring at me like I was an interloper. Long velvet drapes framing the windows were alive with the golden glow of dusk, the kind of light that lasts maybe five minutes before twilight falls and the Real World comes out to play.

I shivered. Pulled my hoodie closer around me, and zipped it up, too.

We ended up at a long dim windowless room with a mirror-polished conference table on the right side—the inner side—of the wall. The other side had windows, but the
djamphir
seemed to hold all their important meetings away from the windows. I’d thought they would want sunshine and fresh air—things suckers seem to hate. But on the other hand, I suddenly thought, it was harder to break into a windowless room. Or pick off someone with a rifle through a wall instead of a window.