Jayson: A New Adult / Coming of Age Romance (23 page)

I walk to the door and open it for good measure. “Is there anything else, Mrs. Schneider? I’m a busy man.”

She breezes past me and leaves a trail of cloying perfume, her beige dress suit and pearls completely out of place in the dusty warehouse. “I’m sure a smart man like you won’t waste time making the wrong choice. Kitrina is destined to achieve great success. She will do it, I have no doubt. And the minute she realizes her full potential, she will realize where you fall short. She deserves a much better man than you and she will realize that eventually. Either way, you’re going to lose her. Better to gain something in return in the process. Goodbye, Mr. Zephyr.”

I can feel when she exits the building. All the joy goes with her, and she leaves a miasma of despair as thick as her perfume. I’m left with a set of options, neither one appealing. Staring at the wall, I blink and the image blurs. I am not a crier or a quitter, but the position I’m in takes a lot out of me. I am also no romantic. I’m pragmatic. Candace Schneider made all the sense in the world when she told me that either way I’d lose something. I just wish she wasn’t right.

“
I
hope
you told me all that to say you stood up to her instead of backing down.” Momma frowns as she snaps the buttons on the remote control, powering through the channels without pause. She grumbles under her breath about nothing good on TV.

I sit back next to her on the sofa and glare at the wall. “I told you because I know you got your hopes up when you met Kit. I told you so you could see why I’m not going down that road,” I respond.

“I didn’t raise my boys to let anybody come in and tell them to stay in their place, Jayson Zephyr. That woman has no right to blackmail you. It’s a crime. How could you let her get away with this?”

I lean forward and take the remote from her hands. Closing my fingers around hers, I look earnestly into her eyes. “Momma, listen to me. Candace Schneider could ruin everything I’ve spent the past half a decade building, and I won’t stand by and let that happen. Not even for Kit. Love isn’t always the answer.”

“It is.”

“It ain’t, Momma!” I refute. “What happens if Zephyr Brothers shuts down? Huh? What are Dev and Cast gonna do? How’s that gonna affect Ashby? He’s in school right now trying to get a degree so he can join us. You mean to tell me you think I should screw over my brothers because I love her? Put yourself in my shoes, Momma. I’ve got too many people depending on me. Now, Kit…” I falter and my voice breaks when I say her name. I swallow thickly and look down, unable to meet Momma’s unwavering gaze.

“Kit will be just fine. She’ll get her degree and be that big time TV personality she wants to be. Some smooth talking actor will probably see her on the red carpet and whisk her off to Paris to get married. Fact is, she’ll be better off without me. Better to get it over with now than to wait and let the inevitable happen.”

Sabine Zephyr’s lips tremble, she’s clenching her jaw so tight. She’s a small woman, but fierce. She sits up straight and squares her shoulders, though it must hurt like the dickens. She hasn’t taken a pain pill in days, and her back has been a constant source of pain since the injury that left her nearly bedbound.

“Calm down, Momma. Sit back, now.” I put a sofa cushion behind her and ease her into a reclining position.

She clasps my forearm. “Son, you can spend your whole life ignoring what you want and need, but that won’t take away the wants and needs. You don’t want to get to be my age, realizing what all you sent off trying to ignore the voice that screams inside you to keep something for yourself. You think I don’t know about sacrificing for the sake of everybody else’s wellbeing? Half the time what makes you happy and what makes everybody else happy is the same damn thing, but you’re too blind to see it.”

“Momma, this isn’t the same.”

“Hear me out. Your father was a fine, good-looking man. I fell in love with him on sight, and I was just nineteen years old when I met him; so when I say I fell, I mean I fell hard. The problem was I couldn’t stay with your father.”

“Of course not, no one would. He was a drug addict and a swindler.”

She smiles sadly. I instantly regret my harsh assessment, but Momma knows I was never close to the man. All he ever gave us was heartbreak and empty promises. She shakes her head. “I’m not talking about Bill Zephyr, son.”

The words give me pause. I stare at her in disbelief. “Then, who are you talking about?” I ask.

She sighs tremulously. “I’m talking about Blaise Stephens. He was a married man. Our relationship had to be kept secret because he didn’t want to lose his family. That didn’t stop us from loving each other.”

“Blaise Stephens?” I repeat. “Oh my God.”

“Yep. He lived right next door to us when you boys were kids, him and his wife.”

“And, his son,” I croak. “Lamont Stephens. We were friends.”

“Jayson, I gave up the man I loved to do what I thought was right for everyone else involved. When I found out I was pregnant with you, I broke it off with Blaise. I felt it was best for him to work things out with his wife. They were so unhappy together. I-I didn’t want to be the cause of that. I didn’t understand very much about marriage then, how hard it is under the best of circumstances, and I felt so ashamed of sleeping with a married man. That’s not how I was raised. Getting pregnant knocked some sense into me—that’s the way I saw it anyway. Really, it just scared me. To this day I have no idea whether Blaise’s wife ever knew.”

“Are you saying…are you saying Blaise Stephens’ is my father? Lamont, he’s my brother? But, what about Da…the man who raised me?”

She nods. “Bill Zephyr said he liked my hair. Can you believe that? Said my hair turned his eye.”

“Did he know?”

“Yes. By the time I started to show, everybody naturally thought you were his, and we got married to make everything legit. He told me he loved me no matter what and he’d raise you as his own. I think I stayed with him so long out of appreciation for that single act. But, Blaise, he knew too. He came to me a few months after you were born and asked me if I’d leave Bill if he divorced his wife for me. I told him flat out that I wouldn’t. The right thing for everybody was for us to pretend we never knew each other.”

I stare at her blankly, connecting the dots and figuring out some things that had always puzzled me. When I was a kid, Bill Zephyr was particularly hard on me versus the other boys. I always thought it was because I was the eldest. Could he have resented me for not being his? I remember Momma wouldn’t let me go hang out at Lamont’s house; he had to come to ours. And, I remember one weird evening Mr. Stephens grabbed me by the chin and stared me hard in the face. I shoved him off, thinking he was acting crazy because he was drunk. Was he trying to see himself in me? Sweet shit, I never expected this. Memories of the man rush through my head. I didn’t like the guy I thought was my father. But Mr. Stephens was never my idea of a good dad.

“In the end,” Momma continues, “Blaise wound up hitting the bottle pretty hard trying to escape the life that he didn’t really want. I wound up like this. Four boys with a daddy in jail, like so many other poor souls from that wretched area. I made the best of it, Jayson. But, it was small consolation knowing I did what I thought was ‘right’ rather than following my own heart. I kept wondering if things would be different had I chosen the other option.”

A painful lump fills my throat. “Why did you never tell me?” I ask. Lamont’s animosity towards me makes sense if he already knows the truth. He might blame me in some way for what happened to his family. After I got out of the detention center, I discovered Monty and his mom had moved in with relatives. Mr. Stephens had drunk himself into a coma that he never came out of. My father, Blaise Stephens, died when I was eighteen. I cover my face and groan in disbelief, wrestling with emotions. “T-this is too much.”

“I never told you because it didn’t matter, Jay. Knowledge of the road not taken would’ve only made you bitter, wondering the same thing as me, how things might be different. I’m telling you now because I don’t want you to make the same mistake as me. What Mrs. Schneider is suggesting is wrong. You need to tell Kit the truth about you. As for the business, you’ve gotten this far without a handout. You can go even further, if you have faith in yourself.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Oh, but it is. You’re the one who’s making things complicated.”

“Momma, I gotta go. Kit…she’s expecting me to be there when she gets off work. Will you be alright with just Ashby? I won’t be back until tomorrow evening sometime.”

“Take your time. I’ll be good without you here. Jayson, think about what I told you.”

“How can I not? You told me everything I thought about myself was a lie.”

“Not everything. You’re still an intelligent, responsible, good-looking man. Nobody can take that away from you. Not even Candace Schneider. Not even you.”

I leave my apartment with my head filled with a thousand unanswered questions about my past. But, I’m certain of one thing. Momma’s story doesn’t change what I have to do. I have to leave Kitrina Schneider. It’s for her own good.

“Is it time to clock out yet? Thank God my retraining is over with, and I can ditch the senior sales rep following me around everywhere. Hank says I’m stuck on probation another week, though. Tonight feels like the longest shift ever!” I complain.

Grace, back from her trip home in time for the semester to start, follows me into the break room during a lull in the post New Year’s shopping rush. “Tell me about it. Every time I get the line down, another crowd comes in. And, don’t get me started on the customer service desk. I had five people trying to return used Christmas decorations today. Who does that?” Her phone chirps, and she hurriedly pulls it out. The slow smile that spreads across her face tells me exactly who is texting her.

“Is that the delightful Castiel Zephyr?” I query, peeking over her shoulder.

She tucks it to her chest with a grin. “Hey, hey, Nosy Rosy. This is private.” I quirk a speculative brow and chuckle, glad to see the happy couple getting along. It just makes me anxious to get off work and hurry home to Jayson. “So, have you heard from your mom?” Grace asks, putting her phone away.

My smile drops but I shrug nonchalantly. “She won’t answer my calls. I thought about taking a trip over, but I’d die of embarrassment if one of the neighbors sees me this soon after that Christmas Eve party fiasco. I’m just gonna give her some time to cool down. Oh, and to lose that loser, Lamont.”

“Yeah, from what you told me about him, he sounds like a total fuckup.”

“You know, I looked into him to see if I could poke holes in his backstory, but everything checked out. I was hoping he was a broke nobody who was playing off of Mom’s apparent midlife crisis. Sadly, he’s rich as all get-out.”

“And, still a loser. Exactly my point about how what Jayson does for a living has nothing to do with whether or not he’s right for you.”

“Point taken.”

“Ladies, this store ain’t gonna run itself,” Hank peeks into the break room to say.

“Coming right out,” Grace supplies.

An hour later, I leave work and hop in my Fiat for destinations less tiresome. The dash clock reads nearly midnight, but it doesn’t even matter. Jayson plans to sleep over. The semester has kicked off with the normal getting acquainted with new professors and skipping homework until the last minute. I ignore the pile of books in the passenger seat because, yes, procrastination. When I pull up in front of my lovely little haven in Western Addition I have nothing but pleasant thoughts in my head.

“Jayson?” I call out as soon as I dot the door. A glance around shows me a fully decorated living room devoid of the remnants of Christmas. I won’t be that person that keeps up a tree until Easter. I march up the stairs two by two, shedding my sweatshirt and khakis as I go. “Jayson, you up there?”

He steps out of my bedroom holding a wine bottle and two glasses. I beam at him in welcome. “I was beginning to think I was the only one here. What’s the special occasion?” I gesture to the glasses. Jayson reaches for my hand wordlessly with a tired smile in return. He pulls me to the bathroom where the tub is filled and rose petals float on the surface of the water. An alluring floral scent floats smokily from a wand of incense. The lights are off and candles light my way. He pours us some wine. We toast and take a sip.

Appreciation wells up within me. Jayson steps closer and gets rid of my remaining clothes, all the while intensely staring me in the eyes. “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this special treatment, but after a day of new classes and long hours at work, it’s exactly what I need,” I reply.

“Well, who really deserves their lot in life,” he murmurs. His lips coast across mine. I sigh breathlessly into his mouth.

“You’re the only person who can take me from a spark to a conflagration with just a look,” I confess.

He glides a palm all the way down my stomach to cup the hairless hill of my mons. It’s an intimate touch that gets even more intimate when he slips a finger inside of me. I squirm against his hand. “You can’t wait?” I tease with a throaty groan of pleasure.

“I never can.” He runs his nose through the cascade of my hair. His lips find mine. He kisses me delicately. As his teeth come together gently on my bottom lip, he eases his finger in and out of me. I gasp with yearning. Jayson steps forward and presses his shirted chest to my bare breasts. The fabric catches on a nipple and tugs. I hear soft music playing from my bedroom.

“I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have a man like you,” I sigh rapturously.

A tortured groan flies from his mouth. Jayson pushes away from me at my words. He refuses to look at me when I gaze at him askance. “Get in the tub. I’ll be waiting for you in the room,” he murmurs.

I pull back, confused. “Okay,” I reply, faltering. I climb into the tub and sink into the water, and the confusion persists when he walks out of the bathroom. I hear his footsteps retreating down the hall. Grabbing the washcloth, I tell myself I must be reading too much into things, but he seems to be upset about something. I’ve never seen Jayson in such a taciturn mood. “Well, everyone’s entitled to a bad day,” I murmur to myself. I’m sure he’ll tell me about it.

I wash away the day and soak in the soothing water without rush. A comfortable languor descends. Like I said, I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have a man like Jayson. I think of the last few days and how effortlessly he helped transform the empty house into a fully furnished home, and that’s not even counting him taking the damaged beauty I got saddled with when I bought the place and turning it into a livable residence.

There are so many reasons to appreciate this man that I run out of ways to count. I think back to the conversation with Grace when I told her I was a product of my environment and prone to the same prejudices as my mother. Examining the whole relationship with Jayson, it’s clear to me that I had it all wrong. I don’t need a big house or a lot of money to be happy. So what if I never return to Pacific Heights? One day we’ll live together, and even if it’s in a cabin, it’ll be ours. He’ll run the construction company, maybe even feature on my design show. We’ll be happy. Us against the world.