Jax (The Protectors Series) Book #8 (15 page)

Chapter 22

Caroline stood staring in front of her closet. It had been a frustrating four days since she was almost lost to the world again. Her stomach rolled at the thought. Jax had been by her side throughout it all, yet he wasn't present. When she had her in-service days at school, he had driven her, sat outside along with Blaze or whoever else he could find to go with them. He hardly spoke and when he did, it was mumbled responses. He hadn't touched her, barely looked her way. He spent a lot of time on the phone and then he would disappear for small amounts of time, again leaving Blaze or someone else with her.

The only good news came from Lana. Rod had been transferred to the human courts and received five years in prison. It seemed that he had outstanding warrants, which they also tried him for. Jax still hadn't been happy with the results, saying he would be paying Rod a visit the day he was released.

Tomorrow was the first day of school and she needed to find something to wear. Preparation for a new school year was usually an exciting time for her; however, in light of the chaos of recent events, it just seemed dull. Until Mika was taken care of, a life with Jax was doomed. The way Jax was acting toward her the last few days proved that.

"Caroline." Alisha's voice came from behind her.

"Where have you been?" Caroline turned to see Alisha standing next to her bed. Alisha had disappeared the day at the warehouse and never reappeared, at least to her.

"I've been trying to find out what Mika's up to next, but he's disappeared again." Alisha sounded worried. "I don't know what he's planning, but I'm afraid. He killed that lady."

"What lady?" Caroline frowned, keeping her voice down so Jax didn't hear her talking.

"The one like you." Alisha looked toward the door and then disappeared.

"Who are you talking to?" Jax stood in the doorway.

"Well, I was talking to Alisha, but she left," Caroline replied, drinking in the sight of him.

"Did she say anything about Mika?" His eyes shifted, came back to her then shifted again as if not wanting to look at her too long. Her throat tightened as a sense of doom swept through her body. He had been acting odd and now she knew why.

"No, not really. She said he's vanished, but that's about it." She frowned. If she were a selfish person, she could keep quiet about information, ensuring Jax wouldn't leave, but she wasn't selfish… dammit.

Jax nodded, then turned to leave without saying anything else.

"She also said…," she began and he stopped, turning toward her.

"What?" He crossed his arms, waiting.

"She also said that Mika killed the woman who was like me and Lana. So it seems I'm safe in that aspect." Yeah, there it was. Relief crossed his face as he grabbed his phone, walking away from the door.

"Hey, can you come to Caroline's," she heard him say. "Yeah, I got stuff I need to take care of."

"Is that the only reason you've been sticking around?" Caroline needed to make damn sure she was right about this, but deep in her heart, she knew she was and it was absolutely killing her.

"What?" Jax looked up from his phone, a blank expression on his face.

"For the past four days since that happened to me at the warehouse, you've not touched me, barely talked to me, not to mention look me in the eye for a mere second, and as soon as I tell you the woman who was working with Mika is dead, you're ready to bolt out of here." Caroline laid it all out in the open. She pulled no punches and by damn, she wanted the truth.

His silence said it all. He stared at her, his mouth a firm, straight line across his face.

Anger hit her hard. She walked past him out into the hallway and stomped down the steps. Snatching his jacket and bag, she met him at the bottom of the steps as he came down behind her.

Caroline slammed the bag and jacket against his stomach. "Get the hell out of my house." Thank God her voice held. Inside, she shook so hard, but on the outside she stood firm. He was not going to do this to her again; she couldn't let him do this to her again. Hell, she
refused
to let him do this to her again.

"What's wrong with you?" Jax frowned, grabbing his stuff.

"You are what's wrong with me." Caroline then stomped to the front door and swung it wide open. "I want you out of my house and there better not be any more Warriors showing up here. I can't do this anymore, Jax. If you can't see what you're doing to me, to us, then you need to leave… now."

Jax reached above her head, slamming the door shut. "I am doing my job and I'll leave when I'm damn good and ready."

"I am not your job, Jax." Caroline turned to head toward the kitchen. Opening the drawer, she reached in and then turned, aiming her gun at him. "And I said to get the hell out of my house."

Jax dropped his stuff and walked straight at her until the barrel of the gun jabbed him in the stomach. "Pull the trigger." He tilted his head, a wicked gleam in his eyes. "Do it!" he challenged her in a low voice.

Damn the man. Didn't anything intimidate him, even her aiming a freaking gun at him? Caroline lowered the gun, shaking her head, looking at the floor. "Just leave."

"What do you want from me?" Jax growled.

Her eyes shot up to his. Sadness and loss filled her to such an extreme she almost doubled over, but again, she stood strong. "Something I obviously can't have."

"You're not making any sense." Jax grabbed the gun from her, snorting in disgust because she hadn't even clicked the safety off. Then he chuckled. "No bullets? You're making a habit of pointing this gun at me." He eyed her as he snapped the clip back in place.

"I really didn't want to shoot you. I just wanted you to leave, and I make perfect sense." Caroline turned away from him and grabbed her purse and keys. "As long as Mika is a threat, I can't have what I want and you're too afraid to commit."

"What in the fuck do you think I've been doing for the past month?" Jax threw his hands out to his sides in frustration.

Caroline ignored that; she had to or she'd cave. "What if you never find Mika? What if this goes on for years? Will you hold yourself back from me or anyone who cares for you because of your fear? To me, that's not living life."

"You have no idea what this is really about," Jax hissed, running his hand through his hair.

"No, I don't," Caroline spat out. "Because you won't talk to me."

His phone started ringing as they stood, glaring at each other.

"I love you, Jax," Caroline whispered, but knew he heard her. She so desperately wanted to hear those same words spoken back to her by this man, but knew that wasn't going to happen. Yet, hope was a funny thing. It kept her staring at him, waiting for him to express those same feelings, knowing he wouldn't.

"You knew exactly who I was, how I felt. I never led you to believe anything else." Jax's eyes actually shifted away from hers.

"No, I guess you didn't." That wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear, but she wasn't surprised. This was the real Jax Wheeler and she should never forget that. Caroline headed toward the door, her already broken heart shattering.

"Mika won't give up," Jax hissed at her back.

"Mika has already won." She walked out the door, closing it quietly behind her.

******

Jax stared at the closed door and only moved when he heard her car start. With a curse, he headed outside. "Fuck!" He ran to his bike that she swerved around and barely missed, hopped on, and followed her out of her drive. The more she drove, the more pissed off he became. Not only because she drove like a crazy woman, but for what she'd said in the house.

Did the woman not understand he was focused on keeping her safe? True, he could be an asshole and he'd never claimed he wasn't. Hell, he was asshole enough to piss her off to the point she pulled a gun on him, even though it was unloaded. He actually grinned at that, wondering what would have happened if she really wanted to shoot him. She was an amazing woman; there was no doubt about that.

Blaze appeared, riding beside Jax, having passed them a few seconds after leaving the driveway. Without words, Jax communicated to Blaze, letting him know he was unsure where they were heading. Blaze remained silent, asking no questions, much to Jax's relief.

When Lana had told him Mika's plans to control him through Caroline, Jax had known he needed to find the son of a bitch. Yet he'd felt as if his hands were tied. With Caroline in danger, he'd been unable to leave her long enough to search. But once he'd learned Mika had killed the woman working for him, his need to protect Caroline stepped up a notch. He could finally up his search. Obviously, that hadn't gone over well… at all. He was man enough to admit to himself that her words of love scared the shit out of him. That was such a gift, and he'd pretty much thrown it back in her face, but it had been so long since he had heard those words spoken to him. So long ago he could hardly remember it. Damn, if only he were a man who wasn't terrified of such emotions.

If he were being honest, he was damn proud of Caroline. She'd stood up to him. At first, it had royally pissed him off, but since cooling down, he realized she was protecting herself, just like he was trying to do. The difference was, he was trying to protect her from a lunatic and she was trying to protect herself from him. That knowledge was a punch in the gut.

One thing she was definitely wrong about, or actually two things: He would find Mika, and the fucker hadn't won. He wouldn't win anything but a trip to Hell.

Jax and Blaze slowed as Caroline pulled into the driveway of her parents' house. He pulled over, wanting nothing more than to fix everything, but it wasn't the time. Just as he needed to cool off, so did she. Finally, Caroline exited her car, closed the door, and stared at him as if waiting. When Jax didn't make a move to get off his bike and approach her, she turned and pulled out her cell phone. She focused intently on it, seemingly typing a text as she walked toward the front door. She barely spared a glance at the door before her father opened it.

As soon as she was safely inside, Jax turned to Blaze. "If she leaves, follow her. Keep me updated and if there's any trouble, call me right away."

"No problem." Blaze nodded, then positioned his bike where he could see the house as well as part of the backyard.

Jax nodded his thanks and took one last look toward the house before taking off.

Chapter 23

Before Caroline could use her key, her dad opened the door. "What a great surprise." He gave her a hug.

"Hey, Dad." Caroline hugged him back. "Where's Mom?"

"In the kitchen. Come on in." He stepped aside and was ready to shut the door, but his cop senses kicked in and he continued to stare toward the driveway. "Is that a friend of yours?"

Caroline looked past her dad to see Jax take off as Blaze stayed, leaning against his bike, his head moving as he scanned the area. "Sort of." Caroline frowned. She really didn't want her dad asking many questions because she didn't want them to worry.

"Sort of?" He narrowed his eyes at her. "He either is or isn't and if he isn't, I need to go find out why he's sitting in front of our house, and if he is, then we need to invite him inside."

Keeping anything from her dad took skill, which was Lana's department, not hers. She could never lie to her dad, which was why when they were younger, Lana left Caroline home while she went out partying. "He's a Warrior, Dad." She tugged him out of the way and closed the door.

"Is there a problem?" He followed her to the kitchen.

"Nope, no problem, Dad." Caroline stepped into the kitchen. "Hey, Mom."

Her mom gave her a hug, then pulled back. "Caroline, you look tired. Have you been sick?"

"No, just been busy with the house and getting ready for school to start tomorrow," Caroline replied with a smile. Her mom missed nothing, just like her dad. "Where's Jamie?"

"Upstairs, trying to find something to wear." Her mom rushed around to finish cleaning up for dinner. "It's her freshman year, so she has to look perfect. You remember those days."

A sadness rushed over Caroline. How simple life had been at that age. Jamie had been what her parents liked to call a "'blessed surprise."' They had thought after her and Lana they were finished, because, as they liked to tease, "'twins about did them in,"' but life had a different plan for them.

"Will you have her in your class this year?" Her dad sat at the counter, sounding worried that his baby girl was going to high school.

"No, Dad." Caroline laughed. "I teach junior and senior history. Now stop worrying, Jamie's going to be absolutely fine."

"Hey." Jamie came into the kitchen. "There's some dude outside leaning on a bike staring at the house."

"It's a friend of your sister's," her dad replied, still sounding suspicious.

"You ready for school?" Caroline changed the subject.

"I've been ready for high school for a long time." Jamie's voice was high with excitement. “I’m already signed up for cheerleading tryouts. I can’t freaking wait!”

Caroline laughed. Indeed, her little sister had been ready, and she blamed herself and Lana for that. Jamie hated being the young one and always tried to be like her and Lana. Caroline had treated Jamie like an older sibling, and Jamie had always been very mature for her age and a little too curious for her own good.

A knock on the door made Caroline jump. Her dad left to answer the door. Between her mom and Jamie, she couldn't hear who it was, so she kept trying to peek down the hallway, secretly hoping it was Jax, but it wasn't.

Blaze followed her father into the kitchen with the phone to his ear. "Yes, sir." His deep voice filled the room as did his body. She happened to glance at her sister and mom, who were giving him the once-over, and she rolled her eyes. What the hell was it with Warriors that had young, middle-aged, old, and married women gaping like they'd never seen a man in their life?

"Honey." Her dad snapped his fingers. "Honey!"

"Yes?" Her mother finally looked his way.

"I'm standing right here," he reminded her, making her blush furiously.

"Well, I know that. My goodness." She snapped a dishcloth at him. "I was just waiting for him to get off the phone to offer him a drink."

Her dad gave a disbelieving snort and winked at Caroline.

"Sloan." Blaze handed her the phone with a cock of his eyebrow. When she just stared at it, he grabbed her hand, put the phone in it, and then raised it to her ear.

"Hello?" She glared at Blaze when she answered. Quickly, she pulled the phone away from her ear with a grimace before putting it back. "You need to stop yelling at me so I can understand you. Yes, I have my phone. It's in my purse. I didn't hear it ring. I don't think it's necessary. Because I don't. That's none of your business. You're yelling again. Fine. Okay. Whatever. Yes." She hung up, then handed the phone back to Blaze.

"Where's your phone?" Blaze didn't attempt to leave.

"In my purse." When he stared at her with no intention of moving or elaborating, she sighed, turned, and dug into her purse to find it. Finding it, she held it up toward Blaze, wiggling it as if saying 'there, ya happy?’ "Why did you tell Sloan you knew where I was? You got me yelled at."

"I don't lie to my superior." Blaze frowned down at her. "And did you or did you not text him, which he was calling to follow up with you about?"

Caroline wanted so badly to stick her tongue out at Blaze, but swallowed her desire. She had texted Sloan as soon as she got to her parents' house to tell him to keep Jill, Steve, and Adam out of her classroom. She was fine and didn't need them there. Obviously, he wasn't happy with simply texting her back so he'd tracked her down.

"I'm Miles Fitzpatrick." Her dad stuck his hand out to Blaze. "This is my wife, Melanie, and daughter, Jamie."

"Blaze," was his one-word response, but he did shake her father's hand and nod to her mom and sister.

Caroline glanced at her sister, who was biting her fist, then looked at her and mouthed, "'Oh, my God"' after Blaze turned back to their dad. Her mom actually gave her a wide-eyed look and a nod as if asking if she and Blaze were an item, which Caroline shook her head to with narrowed eyes.

"So, Blaze"—her father crossed his arms across his chest—"can I ask who you are and why you are standing guard outside my house? Is my daughter in some kind of danger I need to know of?"

"You a cop?" Blaze's voice was even, his eyes never leaving her dad's.

"Actually, I'm a dad to three girls, but yes, I am a cop." Her father eyed Blaze, not intimidated in the least.

"Retired cop," her mom piped in.

A smile spread across Blaze's handsome face and Caroline was worried her mom and sister were going to faint. "I was ordered to—"

"Rod has been coming around again," Caroline answered with a half lie. "Sid wanted to make sure that one of the Warriors kept an eye on me."

"You need to get a restraining order against him." Her mother frowned.

"It's okay, Mom," Caroline replied, grabbing her purse. "It's taken care of now. I need to get going, got a busy day tomorrow. I just wanted to stop by to see if Jamie wanted a ride to school with me."

"Jamie," her mom said, but Jamie was staring at Blaze. "Jamie Lynn, your sister is talking to you." Her mother nudged her, then smiled at Blaze.

"What?" Jamie seemed to snap out of it.

"Do you want a ride to school tomorrow?" Caroline couldn't help but grin. She totally knew what her sister was going through. She found herself doing the same thing with Jax. She frowned at the thought.

"No, I'm riding with Mary and her sister." Jamie's gaze went back to Blaze.

"Okay, well if you need anything, just head up to my classroom." Caroline hugged and kissed her mom, Jamie, and then turned toward her dad, who was staring at her with the "'I know you're lying'" father look.

"I'll walk you to the door." Her dad held out his hand for her to go ahead.

Once they were on the porch, her dad closed the door behind him. "I don't know what the hell is going on, but I know you're lying because Rod has been sentenced to prison. Yeah, I still have my connections and keep track of things." He stared at her for a long minute before pulling her into his arms. "But I know your sister and Sid, as well as this young man, will make sure you're taken care of. Whenever you're ready to talk, I'm here and if you need help, you yell and I'm there."

"Thanks, Dad." Caroline hugged him tight. "It's really fine. Just a precaution."

"Take care of my girl," Miles ordered Blaze.

"Yes, sir." Blaze once again shook her father's hand.

Caroline had never been so happy to be inside her car and driving home. That had been a complete disaster. She had wanted to go to her parents' house for a minute of peace, to have a minute of normal, but that sure as hell didn't happen.

Before long she was back home with Blaze following her down the driveway. She climbed out of the car and headed to the house, but Blaze stopped her.

"Let me go in first." He opened the door, did a once-over, and focused as he looked around once again. She walked in behind him and stopped when he held up his hand. He went upstairs and was back in a second flat. "It's clear."

Caroline watched him head toward the door. "Where you going?"

"Outside." He nodded, passing her.

"Why?" she asked, confused. "You don't have to stay outside."

"Bro code." Blaze grabbed the door as he started to pull it shut.

"Bro code?" She frowned. "You're very handsome, Blaze, but I don't plan on seducing you."

"You belong to Jax," Blaze said bluntly. "I stay outside." He closed the door behind him.

Tears slowly filled her eyes. How she wished that were true. Caroline went into the kitchen, flipped on the radio, and then headed for the couch, grabbing her purse on the way. She dug for her phone, checking to see if she had any messages. Nothing, and the only recent missed calls were from Sloan. Tossing the phone next to her, she snorted. What had she expected, a call from Jax, maybe a text? He had barely talked to her, then she'd thrown him out of her house at gunpoint no less. She'd be lucky if she ever saw him again.

Mentally exhausted, Caroline lay down on the couch, thoughts nagging at her. Had she really been fair to Jax? Had she been too needy? Should she have just sucked it up and taken what he offered, no matter her feelings? Could she love enough for both of them? Those thoughts, mixed with her tears, lured her into a fitful sleep.