Jason (Kings of Guardian #4) (9 page)

He stalked out his office door and through the passcode-locked double doors that led to Gabriel’s offices. He knew his mentor and his staff had already left for the day, but down those halls was the one place Jared couldn’t follow him without permission and the only place he could find solitude to grab his anger and strangle it. Walking away from Jared, when all he wanted to do was pummel the shit out of his brother, took one hell of a lot of effort.
Son of a bitch!
He needed to be alone to digest his brother’s unexpected and unwelcomed headlong rush into his personal life. He held his family at arm’s length for a reason.

He flopped into a leather chair outside Gabriel’s office. Keeping people away had become an ingrained skill. Jared’s comments had hit too close to the area he had deemed as private, with a capital P. Granted, his family had
always
been available for him. They could have been his default support system, but they had enough on their plates. He wiped his hands across his face and pulled his cheeks down as he blew out a lungful of air. Well, fuck. If Jared still felt the stress of his addiction, the rest of the family would too.

His day-to-day sobriety depended on one thing and only one thing,
his
single-minded determination. He’d done this alone, and he’d continue to ensure he never slipped back to that hell. People without families stayed sober all the time.

His sponsor, the group… his default list of allies formed a strong foundation of support. His mind drifted to Faith. He’d found NA meetings in Savannah and had attended several. Faith had offered to go with him, to learn more about him and the struggles people who had addictions faced. He’d never afforded any of his family that opportunity. He didn’t want them to see him as weak or… needy. But Faith? She’d walked straight into his personal space and obliterated any defenses he may have thought to put up. The woman was his kryptonite. He smiled at the thought.

Lifting off the chair, Jason cracked his neck and rolled his shoulders. He had work to finish in order to get back to Georgia this weekend. He allowed himself a full-on smile and a small laugh at the memory of Faith’s cucumber comment. His woman had been practicing, and he’d be damned if he let Jared’s rant make him doubt what he felt for her.

*

Jared King slammed his office door closed. The painting rattled on the wall and settled at an obscene tilt.
Shit
. He’d fucked up. Bad. What in the hell had he been thinking? Jason was the strongest person he knew, both physically and mentally. The man had weathered devastation and still found a way to pull himself out of his own personal hell. Why the fuck had he said anything? Yeah, he worried about Jason. He always worried—about everything, and everyone.

Fuck, who was this woman? He’d never seen Jason act like a starry-eyed teenager, not even when he
was
a teenager. The phone call was so atypical of his brother, he’d been floored. Whoever she was, she had his brother by the short hairs. The fact Jason wasn’t forthcoming about her identity raised his hackles and set off all kinds of alarms.

Jason was too damn good at keeping up appearances, even when he’d been addicted to pain meds. Gabriel, who hadn’t even known Jason all that well at the time, was the only one to suspect he’d been in trouble. The man had Jason in rehab before the rest of the family had a clue there was a problem. Jared never forgave himself for that. His brother had been hurting and he’d missed it. The shame of his failure to take care of his brother ate at him. He’d be damned if he failed him again.

He hit the touchscreen console on his desk. “Aretha, I need to set up a meeting with Jacob and Jewell.”

“Sir, Jewell isn’t due back from the western complex until the end of the week. Do you want a virtual?”

Jared’s foot bounced as he thought. “Yes. Get Jacob on the line and see if he could come see me. Do you have access to Gabriel and Jason’s travel itineraries?”

“Not for Mr. Gabriel, sir, but I subbed for Sonya last week when she was out for her husband’s doctor appointments. She gave me permissions for Mr. Jason’s schedule. What do you need?”

Jared collapsed in his seat. “Pull his travel schedule and itineraries. Go back to when he arrived back at Guardian.”

“Yes, sir.”

“And Aretha? This is for my eyes only.”

“That goes without saying.”

“Thank you.”

If Jared was going to fix his fuckup, he needed to know who his brother was involved with and how deep the woman had her claws into him. The big guy’s reaction to his question hadn’t been what he’d expected. Jared had never seen the man get angry at a family member without a huge ramp-up and one hell of a lot of provocation. Strangers or adversaries? Hell, the man would annihilate either without a second thought, he was that deadly, but never family. Never
him
. Jared ran his hands through his hair and sighed. He’d never been on the business end of Jason’s temper. The rage that rolled off that mountain of muscles was almost a physical presence.

Damn… did Jason snapping like that mean his emotions were already compromised? Whoever this woman was, he was vulnerable and she could hurt his brother. Jason’s recovery had been going so well, and then Jared had to go and throw his own fears of his brother’s relapse on Jason’s head.
Fuck, what a mess.
Whatever game this woman was playing, he’d make sure she knew the rules. Jason may not think he needed help, but he was going to get it nonetheless.

Regardless of his or his brother’s desires, there were protocols in place for a reason. The woman needed to be identified, investigated, and then he’d engage. Jewell could get him the background on her, and he’d bounce his plan off Jacob.

Still, the way he’d left Jason’s office didn’t settle well. He hated any type of discord with his siblings. Jared picked up his phone and called Jason’s direct line. The phone went straight to voicemail. Not good, that meant Sonya was either tied up or pissed, too. Damn. Jared cleared his throat. “Hey. It’s me. Dude, I fucked up. I’m sorry. Your reaction to this woman concerns me. I’m doing exactly what you’d do for me. I’m watching out for you. Call me? We can talk it out over a couple gallons of soda. Love you, bubba.”

He hit the button to end the call and tossed the phone on the desk.

Aretha entered the office. “Sir, you have a business dinner in thirty minutes at O’Malley’s. If you don’t leave now, you’ll be late. Mr. Jacob is offline for the night and Jewell said she can tap into a virtual anytime tomorrow. I’m working with Jacob’s secretary to de-conflict your schedules in case you want him in on the meeting.”

Jared nodded. “I’ll be out of here in a moment.” He drew a deep breath and blew it out as she left. He needed to get his head back in the game. He had work to do, and Jason would be fine. He hoped.

“Hey.”

The sound of Jason’s voice on the phone sent a chill down her spine. He sounded defeated and exhausted, two emotions that he’d never shown her before.

“Hey, Superman. What’s wrong?”

Faith rolled over onto her side and pushed the sheet down, hoping to alleviate the current temperature of fifty degrees hotter than hell. The small air-conditioning unit she used to cool Reece’s room, and the larger one in the living room window, didn’t chill enough of the trailer to keep her room comfortable.

Silence on the other end of the line worried her. “Jason? Are you alright?”

“I’ve known you what… six weeks now?”

“Yeah, something like that.” Six weeks and three days, actually. Faith closed her eyes and hoped this wasn’t the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ phone call.
God, please don’t let it be.

“How can you know me better than the people I grew up with?” His question dropped her stomach. He
was
hurting. Something was wrong. Was it horrible of her to be happy he’d turned to her for comfort?

“Sometimes when you’re around something amazing all the time you tend to forget how fantastic it really is. It’s kind of like living by the ocean. If you see it every day, it becomes the norm. Sometimes the wonder is lost unless you make it a point to actually see its beauty and be thankful for it each and every day. Maybe whoever upset you today has forgotten to do that?”

Again the silence lingered, but one thing she’d learned in the last six weeks was that Jason rarely spoke without carefully considering his words. He was probably the most guarded person she knew.

The chuff of air and grunt didn’t help her discern the cause of his mood.

“Who upset you?”

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s something, Jason. Talk to me.”

“My brother, Jared.”

“He works with you, right?”

Another grunt was all she got. Faith waited, hoping he’d comment. When he didn’t, she prompted him again. “Jason, what happened? What did he do?”

“He’s concerned because I haven’t reported my relationship with you or told him about you and Reece. He’s worried I’m making a mistake. Seems my brother doesn’t think I can take care of myself. He’s pretty damn sure that you’ll use me.”

Faith died a little inside at his words. “Oh God… I
wouldn’t
do that.”

“I know, babe. That’s what I told him. We had… words. The bastard threw my sobriety in my face. Said he was getting tired of mopping up after my disasters.”

“What? What does he mean by that? What disasters?”

“Fuck, take your pick. Bravo Team, for one. He got hurt coming over to bail my ass out of that particular fire.”

“But that wasn’t your fault.” Silence stretched. “Hey? Did you hear me? That
was not
your fault, Jason. We’ve talked about this.”

“Apparently it doesn’t stop him or anyone else from thinking I fucked it up. Seriously, how do you respond to something like that? I mean he
did
put his life on the line to come get us.” Oh, her man was pissed. She could feel his anger states away. But with whom was he really upset?

“Ah… okay? And? I mean, isn’t that what you guys do? That’s what Theo did… right? Besides, you said the plane was shot down. That had nothing to do with you. Theo was killed by the enemy, not because of anything you did. The man that died on the jump, you went to see his family and they told you they knew he died doing a job he loved. You didn’t know the landing zone was compromised and you didn’t blow up the plane. They’re not blaming you.”

“The Santos family. Yeah.”

“What else?”

“What do you mean?” He still sounded mad, but tired, too. Faith wanted to wrap him in her arms and hold him until he fell asleep. The hours he worked were insane, and the fact that he worked the long hours so he could come down to Savannah to see her hadn’t escaped her attention.

“You said disasters. Plural. What else are you lumping in that category?”

“The addiction.”

“Which you have faced head on and you are still fighting. You wake up and find a reason to walk away from that need every single day, and I’m so proud of how strong you are.” She’d gone to open NA meetings in Savannah while he was up in D.C. and talked with family members. Knowing how to support him was important to her because
he
was important to her.

A long, hitched breath on his end of the line was the only sound she heard for a full minute.

“Baby, what else? What are you keeping inside? Something is bothering you. I can tell you’re really mad, and I’m a little scared.”

“What did Theo rescue you from?” Jason’s question stopped her thoughts in midstream. “I need to know, Faith. If I trust you with this, I need to know that you trust me, too.”

Faith closed her eyes and shook her head. She’d lose him if she told him. But, hell… she could lose him if she didn’t.

“My father is the head of a motorcycle club in Atlanta. Club… hell, it’s a gang or a part of a gang. Making an extremely long story short, he fucked up somehow and got into some major trouble. I don’t know what he did, but in order to prove his fealty to the club, he had to give a gift of enough value to appease the president, the guy in charge at the national level. So, my father gave me to the man as a penance for his sins. I existed in hell for five months before Theo found me. One night, after a party with heavy drinking and drugs—a typical night for most of them—Theo slipped into the clubhouse and pulled me out of the locked room where they kept me when I wasn’t being… used.”

“Faith… I…” Jason started to interrupt.

“No. Please, let me finish. I did what I had to do to survive. I’m not proud of that, but you need to know. I’ve worked hard to not be that person. I earned my GED and I promised myself I would become a good momma to my baby and a better person. If your brother looks into my past, he’s going to see the filth I came from. That scares me because it appears he doesn’t seem to understand you, and if that’s the case, he sure as hell couldn’t begin to comprehend me. Jason, the bikers weren’t into safe sex. I don’t know who Reece’s father is, and I don’t care. He’s my son, and I love him unconditionally.”

“I know you do, babe. Jared doesn’t know your name, and he wouldn’t dare run a background on you without my permission. Your secret is safe with me. You must know, that had I been there, I would’ve killed them all—every last one of those motherfuckers.”

The raw emotion in his voice brought tears. Faith closed her eyes and took a leap of faith. “I’ve learned through years of counseling that anger isn’t the answer. It has taken four years, and I’m at peace with my past, but your brother won’t know that.” Faith sighed and swallowed the lump in her throat. “There are two people in my life I would do anything to protect—Reece—and now you. I would never intentionally hurt you.”

Jason’s voice was low and distant as he started, almost like he was talking away from the phone. Faith pushed the receiver closer to her ear to hear his words. “When I was growing up, my dad, who was the county sheriff, would spend time with each of us kids in turn. There are eight of us, so getting to spend time alone with him on his evening off was an extraordinary thing. Every Thursday he’d call into the dispatcher at the sheriff’s department and sign off for a couple hours so nothing would interfere with our one-on-one time. He’d do something different with every one of us. Fishing, a movie, riding horses, bikes or just going to get an ice cream. On my Thursday, a group of friends were going to see a movie and asked me if I wanted to go. Dad played it off like he didn’t mind. But I knew he wanted to spend time with me. I
knew
it, Faith, but I went with my friends anyway. Because I wasn’t with him, he signed back in and pulled over a stolen vehicle. He was killed by the driver. A strung-out addict gut shot my dad and left him for dead. Dad crawled back to his car as he was dying. He made dispatch put a call through to my mom. He said goodbye. Told her he loved her. Told her he loved us. She heard him take his last breath. He died on that gravel road before help could get to him, and he died because of me.”

“Oh, sweet God in heaven. Jason, there was no way you could have known. You didn’t cause his death. Baby, he made some choices too. He chose to go back to work. He could have gone home. He could have spent time with one of your brothers or sisters or even your mom. He could have taken another call. You
are not
responsible for his death.”

Silence cut through her nerves as tears welled in her eyes for the pain he’d been flaying himself with for years. If it wasn’t for his breathing, she’d have assumed he’d hung up.

Grasping for some way to make him see he wasn’t at fault, she closed her eyes before she whispered, “Jason, do you think less of me because of what happened to me?”

His angry growl resonated over the phone. “No. Never. You were a child.”

“Jason,
you
were a child. You had no say in your father’s actions or the actions of the man who killed him. Granted, my dad’s actions violated any type of trust or love a parent should have for a child, but
he
made those decisions. Just as
your
father made
his
. You are not responsible. Can you see that?”

The lingering pause ate at her, gnawing a hole at her soul while her words were processed. Finally, he spoke. “You’re the only one I’ve ever talked to about this. My brothers and sisters… if they knew what I did? They’d never forgive me. My mom…”

“Would wrap you in her arms and tell you she loves you with all her heart. There is absolutely nothing, and I mean
nothing
, that Reece could do that would stop me from loving him. You didn’t cause your father’s death any more than I created my situation.”

“Faith, I need to see you.” Emotion thickened his already deep voice.

“You’ll be here in three days, right?”

“Yes. No matter what. I’ll be there.”

“I don’t want to hang up. Can we just talk until we fall asleep?” Faith rolled onto her side and pulled up the sheet.

“I’d like that.”

“Are you in bed?”

“Lying on the couch in my office.”

“Are you going to sleep there?”

“Yeah. I’ll hit the gym in the morning, shower and change here.”

“You have a gym and a bathroom in your office?”

His small laugh filled her heart. “Gym and sparring areas downstairs, underground, but, yeah, posh digs.”

“Sparring ring? Like boxing?”

“MMA, hand-to-hand training mostly.”

“Why don’t you just kick Jared’s ass in the ring?”

The long pause at his end scared her. “Jason?”

“Yeah, sorry. That’s one hell of an idea. Taking him to the mat a couple times would be therapeutic.”

Faith laughed. “I’m not much into fighting, but I think I’d like to be a fly on the wall if that happens.”

“I’d like you to be here. You should come up.”

“What? You mean Reece and I come up there?” Faith had never considered it.

“Yeah. Why not? I could send a jet for you. Could you take some time? Could you come up?”

“When?”

“Tomorrow? I have meetings until five, but I’m free after that. My house is huge. There would be plenty to keep you and Reece occupied here in D.C. until the weekend.”

“I don’t know, Jason. That sounds really expensive. Sending a jet, right?” Faith tried to grasp the power of just picking up a phone and summoning a jet.

“Babe, can you come?”

“I… ah… yeah. Yeah, I have vacation time, but I need to go into work in the morning and talk with Max and arrange a temp. Can we leave later? Closer to after work? Would that be okay?”

“Perfect. I’ll have the jet land at the Savannah Airport. An escort will be waiting to take you to the plane.”

“You can do that?”

“I can.”

“Really?”

“Really. I’ve got mad skills, princess.”

“You do, but silly me, I assumed they were limited to being the best boyfriend in the world.”

“Now you’re just trying to butter me up.”

“Is it working?”

“Damn straight.”

“Good. You know Reece and I are falling in ‘deep like’ with you, right?”

“I get that. You know the feeling is mutual, right?”

“I didn’t. I didn’t want to assume.”

“It’s not an assumption. You two are quickly becoming the center of my universe.”

“Scary, isn’t it?” Faith chewed on her thumbnail.

“Scary good.”

“There is such a thing?”

“Yes, like taking the plunge down from the top of a roller coaster while holding your hands in the air, or flying a jet in a high-G turn.

“You
are
one hell of a ride, Superman.” Faith couldn’t help the purring innuendo.

“Good to know, princess. I aim to please.”

“And you do. Over and over and over again.”