Jase (37 page)

“Tell me how you really feel, baby,” he joked and watched her bite her lip again.
If I were there, I’d be
biting
other places on that woman.

“Business manager would be an
above-board
position. You wouldn’t get pulled into any sketchy club business, so you’d be safe. If you could take on the extra work I’ve been doing, trying to help Myron out as much as I can, that would be phenomenal, baby. And…you would be home. I’d get to sleep with you every night? Yes. Hell yes.” She shook her head and laughed. “When I say it like that, it sounds selfish, but I still say hell yes. So let’s talk about finishing that degree, and what
life
without hockey looks like. I’ve listened to you talk about when you were hurt, and how you couldn’t wait to get back onto the ice. Why would this be any different? How can you manage that kind of loss?”

He nodded; this was the piece he struggled with the most when contemplating Mason’s offer. Hockey was all he had known his entire adult life. He enjoyed the physicality of the game, the excitement of executing complex strategies, and the adrenaline rush of competing against other top athletes and winning. The camaraderie of the team, everyone working together towards a common goal. The excitement and ego stroking from the fans and media. But in his mind, none of that mattered. When he compared that to the woman in his bed and in his life, it came down to one important thing: DeeDee.

Slowly, he said, “It would be different, because of us. Before, when I was hurt, I didn’t have you. I had a bare taste of you before Ruby got hurt, and to have that taken away left a
huge
hole. Then I got
injured
, and losing hockey too? It turned that hole into a gaping crater.” He saw a look of pain
cross
her face and she turned away from the camera. “Baby, I’m not saying that to hurt you, but to make sure you understand the difference. Some people get lost in drugs or drinking when they are hurting emotionally; I played hockey until I couldn’t see straight.

“Now, I have you, not
a simple
taste, but all of you. You’ve seen how I have to force myself to drag ass to practice, because I don’t want to leave you. I’m not showing up an hour or two early like I used to. Not doing non-mandatory two-a-days in the gym to exhaust
myself
. I’m home with you whenever I can
be. However
I can. Between the sheets, or in the wind, if I can be with you…I am.

“Between you and the twins, now I hate to leave for road trips. I hate to be away. I resent the need to sleep in a bed not shared with you. I want to be there every night. With you. Hockey’s becoming the
obligation,
and you, my refuge. If I want to stay involved with hockey, there are other ways that won’t have the same travel requirements. I already have an idea about
something
, because I want to set up a foundation to help disadvantaged kids discover hockey, a way to pay my love of the game forward. But if the job offer from Mason works out, I think I’ll be busy enough to not miss it too much. Plus, to be honest, I’m tired, baby. I’m sore, beat up, and just plain tired.” As he spoke, she turned to face the camera again, watching his face as he explained himself. By the time he finished, she was nodding her head.

“Why don’t you think on it a little longer? You have a few more weeks before the season plays out, then a couple months before you have to worry about signing, right?” She paused, waiting for his nod. Once it came, she continued, “Call Mason and talk to him. Make sure this is what you want, okay?”

“Okay, baby,” he said with a smile. “He wanted a month, but I’m sure he’ll understand. Honey, you need to go back to sleep; it’s late. I need to get some shuteye, too. I love you,
mon amour. Je t’aime
, DeeDee.”

“No more than I love you, crazy man. Come home soon, okay?” She smiled and disconnected the call.

Jase leaned his head back against the window, staring up at the ceiling of the bus as they traveled up the Dan Ryan.
Chicago
, he thought,
Mason is in Chicago
. Without pausing to give it too much thought, he lifted the phone and dialed the number for Jackson’s and left a message with the bartender.

***

“Ma, I told you. I’m on the road for another week. Right now isn’t a good time to come down.” Jase scrubbed his hand across the top of his head, cursing the one-hour time zone difference that made his mother forget he might already be asleep. “Before you ask, I don’t know what DeeDee’s schedule is either. I’m on the bus right now.” He yawned noisily.

“
Well,
I can hear that, can’t I? When will you be home, Jase?” Her voice carried that thread of steel he knew so well.

“Week from Friday, we play in Indy, then head home. I’ll be back in the condo early Saturday morning.” He had a feeling he would be losing this battle, but still needed to fight it for both his and Sharon’s
sakes
. Things were too tenuous right now with her and Gunny, and even between him and DeeDee. It might be selfish, but he didn’t want to bring his family into the mix yet.

“Then I can be there Sunday,” she said without hesitation.

“No, Ma. This isn’t a good time to come down. Don’t make this hard, woman.” He yawned again, leaning his head against the bus’ window.

“Why don’t you want me to come visit, son? Have you gotten too old to enjoy a visit with your mom and dad?” There was a quavering tone to her
question,
but it sounded forced, so he wasn’t fooled.

“Not
bamboozling
me, woman. You know things are busy this time of year. The season is winding down, but I have to focus. Dugger got hurt—”

“Lee? What happened?” She was genuinely concerned, knowing and liking Lee from Jase’s descriptions of the man.

“A fight gone wrong, you know the risks. It’s always a chance every time we glide out.” He sighed and closed his eyes.

“He’s okay though, eh?” He could tell she was backing down from the trip idea, thankfully.

“Yeah, he’ll be okay. Probably sitting at home right now, feet up, with a book in hand.” He laughed. “Makes me effectively the captain, though.”

“You’ll do fine, son. Do him proud, eh?” There was a smile in her voice, and he responded to it.

“Will do. Tell you what, Ma. I’ll call you when this away trip is done and we’ll sort out a time for me to head up.” He yawned again, rubbing his eyes, then sat up straight when he heard the sudden whip crack of her voice.

“Jason Wade Spencer, you’re not going to put me off forever. I will be coming to see you, your woman, your sister…everyone in your life there in the States. Don’t think you’ll get away with this, and don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing.”

Smiling, he said, “I know, Ma. We’ll sort something out, eh?” He sighed, ready for sleep. “Love you.”

“
Je t’aime
, Jase. Be well, son.” She smacked a kiss into the telephone and hung up.

Jase leaned back against the window and settled his shoulders onto the hard surface. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t protect Sharon from their family forever.

They won the game in Waukesha handily. It was irritating that the team was playing so well
now,
because it was late in the season, to make up for all the missed points from earlier in the year. Now, there was barely a chance of making the playoffs, given the limited number of games left, paired with their current point position in the division. If they had tightened up like this earlier, they would be sitting pretty, but it didn’t matter now, except how it played into the players’ individual contract prospects.

Prepping for their next game, he was sitting in his hotel room in Rockford reviewing tapes from the last time they met this team.
Three games in three nights with a half-dozen key players on the injured reserve left them a whole lot of missing talent to make up for. He worked with Daniel enough over the years to know a large part of the game was strategy and preparation.
Being able to read an opposing team’s play and call it out to the players was part of what made a good captain.

A knock sounded at the door and he looked up in irritation. “
Fuckin’
rookies. Better not be a practical goddamn joke,” he grumbled, walking to the
door
. Looking through the peephole, he pulled his head back in surprise, quickly fumbling to open the
lock
.

“Mason,” he said in greeting, holding out a hand. “
Whatcha
doin’
here?”

“Merry said you called the bar. Thought I’d come watch the game, have a talk,” Mason said, pulling Jase into a one-shouldered clench.

“Come on in, man.” Jase closed the door. “Want a bottle of water?” He laughed nervously. “It’s all I keep in the room.” He shrugged and gestured towards the chairs near the window when Mason shook his head. Grabbing his tee from the bed, he pulled it over his head, glancing around the room nervously, but everything looked pretty much in order. He realized what he was doing and thought,
Why do you feel the need to clean up for Mason?

“I’m not going to beat around the bush. I’m hoping you called to accept the deal I made you, but if not, then no hard feelings. You’ll still be a friend of the club, welcome at all the neutral bars, and into our clubhouses by invitation.” Mason grabbed a chair, turning it around and sitting, folding his arms across the back. “And DeeDee’s position is independent of you and any decisions you make, so you don’t have to worry about any blowback her way. Just throwing that out there; don’t want any misunderstandings.”

“It never occurred to me to worry that you’d hold her job hostage.” Jase pulled a chair out and sat, crossing one ankle
over
the other knee. “And, I did want to talk to you about the offer.” He laughed. “Didn’t expect you to come all the way to Rockford to have a chat.”

“Some things are better done in person.” Mason shrugged.

“Yeah, I can see that,” Jase said and sighed. “I’m interested. Very interested, but I have some questions. At the
rate
I’ve been taking classes, I have less than two years left
to
finish my degree, three semesters. I want to finish it, and I plan on
it,
but is this offer contingent upon me
finishing,
or could I begin working sooner if I wanted? That’s the first question. Second is what exactly would my relationship be with the club? An employee? A member? Do I have to do a probation period, kinda like a rookie hockey season?”

Mason looked at him and nodded. “Good questions. Easiest one first. You could start tomorrow and never finish your degree. I don’t actually give a shit about that, except if you do. You’re one smart motherfucker, and I don’t doubt you’d do fine as-is. But, the offer to pay for the classes stands, whether you keep going and start work now, keep going and
start
work
later,
or keep going and never start work. That’s the easy shit, because I know you, man.

“Okay, now for the harder question,
because,
for this, you need a little history lesson.” Mason laughed. “This course credit is free, and there aren’t any prerequisites here. School of hard knocks. The club, we…me...I need men like you, just as I need members with the diverse and specialized
skill sets
of brothers like Gunny and Tats. Every member
of
the club, every person associated with it, serves a purpose. There aren’t any free rides, and we all pull our own weight. For me, it’s a matter of matching up pegs and holes.

“With you, fuck…
man
, you’re more than halfway into the life already. Look at you and DeeDee being together, and her long history
with
the club. You go on runs with my men, even help raise money to make us look good. We’ve all seen you protecting members when you can. Hell, a lot more than halfway into the life, I’d say. As far as I’m concerned, you quit being a
hangaround
the day you borrowed my scoot in Chicago. At that point, you became a friend of the club.

“But, that said, I don’t want to sidestep our prospect
period,
because it’s important for
a whole
lot of reasons. We’ll both need to make sure of the fit, and it gives members time to get to know you…
but
for you, that period would be different. It will look different from how most of our guys spend their probation. You’ll be learning from Myron more than anyone.

“Want you to know that even being a prospect doesn’t mean your position in Fort Wayne is contingent upon anything other than doing your fucking job. Think of the club like any other employer. But you need to fucking know what else you’re going to be exposed to, the darker side of our business. These are things most men looking to patch in would already know, but you’re coming at it from a sideways angle. You ready for this part of the conversation?” Mason looked at him steadily, unmoving.

Jase thought for a moment, then agreed with a nod. “Yeah, I need to make an informed decision.
I feel like I know some of what you’re going to say. I’ve seen bits and pieces over the past couple of years, with Mica and Daniel, then since I’ve been with DeeDee.”
He shrugged. “Go ahead. I’m ready.”

“Okay, man, listen up. Rebels have three rules. Three key rules that carry the weight of everything we are on their backs. The first one is no whores. We don’t run hookers, don’t allow hooking out of our businesses. Girls can be trouble, and hookers are a magnet for even more. You’ll hear women referred to as club whores, but that’s a different thing. Those’ll be
hangarounds
looking for a good time so they fuck
members,
or women looking to hook up with a good old man. Fucking is their preference, and if a brother becomes a problem, I deal. So that’s the first thing.” His gaze never wavered and Jase sat still, soaking it in.

“Second rule is no hard
drugs,
and is non-negotiable. No heroin, no meth, no hard shit. Do we sell blow and pot? Fuck yeah. It’s a chapter-by-chapter decision, but there’s a lotta money
available in the trade, and
helps keep my brothers’ cash flowing in like magic. Some of our guys come to us from other clubs where they are used to that kind of easy money, and it is fucking hard to clear out.