Japanese Slang (22 page)

•   
Anta musuko shimatte kurenai! Yaru ki shinai kara ne!
Put your son away! I'm not in the mood!

•   
Mata toire de b
zu o shikoshiko surun ja nai ka!
He must be in the toilet again beating his priest!

Another tough group of terms for penis involves
vegetables.
Imo
(potato) is used when organs are short and fat,
t
garashi
(red pepper) when they are small and pink, and
gob
(burdock) when they are large and tubular. Umegaki Minoru points out in his book
Ingo
(Hidden Words) that
gob
has been a favorite since the Middle Ages.
Furuoke de gob
o arau
(washing the burdock in the tub) was considered one of the zestier gauche references to sex. The
matsutake
(mushroom) has a slim shaft and a disproportionately large head; the
rakky
(scallion) has an unusually long foreskin that extends well beyond the tip even during an erection, and the
hinedaikon
(shriveled radish) and the
hoshidaikon
(dried radish) are small and very wrinkly. The only garden variety penis in this group is the
ky
ri,
a type of cucumber indigenous to Japan that usually grows to a length of approximately four or five inches.

•   
Kare no imo oishis
!
His pud looks quite tasty!

•   
D
y
shinkei shitenno? T
garashi shabure'tte y
n da yo!
The nerve! He actually asked me to suck his little dipstick!

•   
Hizamazukakete, ore no gob
shaburaseta ze!
I made her get on her knees and suck my ramrod!