Jane Bonander (8 page)

“Years later he’d heard of a white boy living with an Indian tribe on the north coast. He discovered it was Jackson.”

“And they let McCloud take him?”

The man smiled. Again, as before, it transformed his features. “He wasn’t a prisoner. They’d found him wandering in the woods near the cave after the explosion. They gave him a home when he would have died.”

“And you’ve remarried?”

His smile widened and his eyes filled with such tenderness, Julia had to look away.

“I have. Susannah and I each brought a son to the marriage. Corey is almost nine years old. We have two daughters, Miranda and Caroline.”

Julia sensed the love and pride in his voice and still couldn’t look at him. Somehow, knowing that others loved so fiercely made her heart ache, for her marriage was such an imitation of what a marriage should be. But never would be.

She was in the process of removing the dishpan when he took it from her and walked toward the back door. “How did you and McCloud meet?”

When he returned with the empty dishpan, she attempted to ignore his question, hoping he’d forgotten he asked. He hadn’t.

“You and McCloud,” he said. “How did you meet?”

“He … um … He worked for my father, here on the ranch. But please, Mr. Wolfe,” she added, “tell me more about him. He’s very reticent when it comes to talking about himself. For instance, how did he get those scars on his back?”

Nathan Wolfe glanced away. “Some of them are from a grizzly.”

Her heart leaped into her throat. “A bear attacked him?”

“That’s the story he tells.”

Julia thought about it. “You said
some
of his scars came from the grizzly. What about the others?”

Nathan Wolfe’s probing gaze made Julia uncomfortable. It was as if he knew far more about her situation with McCloud than he’d let on.

“He has a lot of secrets, ma’am, but he’s a good man. He’s had a hard life.”

Julia wiped off the flowered oilcloth on the table, then cleaned the counter space in an attempt to appear nonchalant. “A hard life? Really, Mr. Wolfe, haven’t we all?”

“McCloud’s has been harder than most. Consider the plight of half-bloods. They don’t belong in either world.”

Julia stopped working. “I hadn’t thought about it that way.”

“Most of us don’t. I admit I didn’t until I met McCloud. At our first meeting he had a chip on his shoulder the size of a redwood.” Nathan Wolfe laughed. “Cockiest bas—” He coughed. “Pardon me, ma’am. Cockiest man I’d ever met.”

At least that hadn’t changed. “Do you know anything about his childhood?”

Nathan poured himself a cup of coffee. “Not much. He’s pretty tight-lipped about that.” His gaze was thoughtful as he stirred in cream. “I
do
know he was raised in the wilderness by a couple of rough trappers and probably a squaw or two.”

Julia went to the table and sat, clutching her hands in her lap. Unable to imagine being raised that way, she felt an insane ache in the pit of her stomach for the child McCloud had been. And the kind of life that molded him into what he had become.

Nathan Wolfe gave her an amused smile. “You don’t know much about your husband, do you?”

Julia lowered her head. “No. We only got married yesterday.”

“And here we are, horning in on you.” His voice was soft, understanding. “I’m sorry, I—”

“No, please. Tell me more about him.” McCloud’s voice on the back stoop halted their conversation.

He and the boy entered, and his gaze locked with hers. She gave him a tremulous smile.

“So,” she said, getting to her feet, “everything all right outside?”

“Everything’s quiet.” McCloud went to the stove and poured himself a cup of coffee. “Jackson, here, thinks Sally’s going to foal early next winter.”

Julia’s pulse jumped. “Really, Jackson? How can you be so sure?”

He gave her a shy shrug and looked at the floor. “Just a guess, but sometimes I can tell these things. Isn’t that right, Pa?”

His father nodded. “He’s predicted both of our foals months before it was evident that the mares were pregnant. They were winter births, too.”

“I see.” She gave her apron a nervous twist. “I should check on the baby. And see that your room is ready.”

“Mind if I come along, Miss Julia?” Jackson was at her side. “I’m kinda tired. Bed sounds good to me.”

“No, not at all.” She was anxious to leave the two men behind.

Wolf followed her with his eyes until she was gone, then took a seat across from Nathan at the table. He avoided his friend’s gaze.

“What brings you this way, Nate?”

“I had some papers to sign in San Francisco.”

Wolf toyed with his coffee cup. “How’s Susannah?”

Nate grinned, his eyes warm. “She couldn’t be better.”

“How did you know I was here?”

“I didn’t. Not until Jackson and I had stopped in Martinez. We were at a chop house this morning having breakfast, and shared a table with a lawyer named Williams.”

Wolf couldn’t suppress a chuckle. “How in the hell did
my
name come up?”

“We got to talking about available ranch land. He said something about a deceased client whose land might have been up for sale if the old man hadn’t established “the breed” into his will.”

This time Wolf laughed out loud. “Whatever made you think it was me?”

“I didn’t. I was just curious, so asked if he could give me the name of the breed.” His grin was one of cunning. “Imagine my surprise. Lots of interesting questions, McCloud.”

Wolf caught the smile in the words. “And I have no doubt you’re anxious to ask them.”

Nate gave him a quiet laugh. “I guess my first question would be—how in the hell did this happen?”

“It’s a long story.”

“Are you happy?”

Wolf’s laugh was caustic. “Happy? That’s not the word I’d use.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because my
wife
would sooner plunge a knife through my heart than be forced to play the loving bride.” His disappointment puzzled him.

Nate leaned against the chair and steepled his fingers on his chest. “Interesting. Care to elaborate?”

Wolf left the table, went to the desk in the other room and returned with a copy of Amos’s will. He retrieved a bottle of whiskey and two glasses from the dark pantry, then plunked the will, the glasses, and the whiskey on the table. “Here,” he offered, pushing the will toward Nate. “Read page three.” He poured them each a healthy shot of liquor.

Nate read the page, his expression one of shocked surprise. He downed his drink. “The old man forced you to marry his daughter? Wasn’t there any way out of it?”

Wolf swallowed his whiskey and gave Nate a wry smile. “Believe me, my new wife tried.”

“Care to tell me what led up to all of this?”

Wolf poured himself another shot of whiskey, but didn’t drink it. “I was hired on last fall, during harvest. The old man and I got along well. He confided in me, was relieved to be able to talk to someone about the things that worried him. The ranch hasn’t made a dime since the drought, and he knew he’d lose it to the bank if he didn’t think up another crop.”

He lowered the flame in the lamp, then threw down the whiskey, gritting his teeth as it burned his throat. “Something else was on his mind, too. Something about the river, and the fact that the water level was down way too far in spite of the drought. But before he could elaborate, I … felt the need to break off our association.”

Nate frowned. “Why?”

Wolf gave him a sick grin. “Miss Julia has a very determined younger sister.”

Nate leaned forward, his elbows on the table. “And … ?”

“And she wouldn’t leave me alone.”

Nate guffawed, then clamped his hand over his mouth. “And that was a
problem
for you?”

“I know, I know. But she—”

“She was ugly?” Nate finished for him.

“Hell, no,” Wolf exclaimed. “She was a real beauty.”

Nate leaned back and studied Wolf. “Was?”

“Yeah. I left because Miss Julia suspected that something was going on between her sister and me.” Wolf rubbed the back of his neck. “I hated to leave Amos, but under the circumstances, I didn’t feel I had a choice.”

“So, what brought you back?”

“Amos wrote and made me an offer. Said he’d sell me the land I wanted if I stayed on as foreman. We’d talked about a new crop, drying the fruit and shipping it to the East and Europe. I guess he thought it was the best chance he had to keep the place. And Miss Josette had run off with another man, so Miss Julia would be alone after Amos died.”

Wolf shoved the bottle toward Nate. “Amos was sick. Had the wasting disease, I think. The whole idea of staying on here sounded like a good thing, but I told him he had to tell Miss Julia, because I knew she wouldn’t believe he’d suggested the whole idea if it came from me.”

Nate shook his head. “And you wound up marrying her?”

“The sly old dog changed his will after we’d drawn up the other agreement. Then he was … then he died.”

“From the disease?”

“No. It appeared that he’d either had an accident or killed himself. The official record states that it was an accident. I think Miss Julia suspects suicide, but she’s never mentioned it out loud. I have a problem with that.”

“Hey,” Nate said, spreading his hands on the table. “It wouldn’t be the first time someone had taken his own life because of a disease. He could have been depressed, he—”

“It might have been tongue in cheek, but he promised me he wouldn’t die before I got here, and then he did. I think he had help.”

“Why?”

Wolf shook his head. “Just a feeling, but I’ve been studying the river. I think his intuition was right. Someone is diverting the water away from the normal flow.”

“And he was killed over that?”

“C’mon, Nate. Water’s in short supply. No one’s recovered from the drought.”

They sat in comfortable silence, the sputtering of the flame in the lamp the only noise in the room.

“How do you feel about becoming a rancher?”

Wolf traced the pattern on the oilcloth with his index finger. “I don’t know yet. I
do
know that for the first time in my life, I have something I can call mine, and I’ll be damned if I’ll let go of it easily.”

There was a long, quiet pause. “Was she ever married?”

Wolf wasn’t entirely surprised by the question. “I have no idea, but I don’t think so. No one, not even old Amos, ever mentioned it. It’s an odd thing to keep secret, don’t you think?”

Nate raised his eyebrows. “And who fathered the baby?”

“Your guess is as good as mine.” The presence of the baby had never bothered Wolf. The mere fact that Julia had had an indiscretion at least once in her life was comforting, for it meant she was human. He’d never been comfortable around virgins, anyway. He wasn’t even sure he’d ever met one.

Nate gave him a slow, sympathetic smile. “I’ll bet Jackson and I took your bed, didn’t we?”

Wolf ran his fingers through his hair, then massaged his neck. “Yeah, and if you were any kind of friend, you’d sleep in the barn.”

Nate’s eyes filled with humor. “And let you get out of your predicament? Not a chance.”

“As long as you know the situation,
I
might just as well sleep in the barn.” He took another swig of whiskey, then turned to leave. “Turn out the lamp before you go to bed.” He walked toward Julia’s bedroom.

“Hey,” Nate called after him, laughter in his tone. “The barn is in the other direction.”

Wolf couldn’t stay angry. “Go to hell, and free up my bed.” Nate’s laughter was still in his head as he opened the door to Julia’s bedroom. He just wanted to look at her. He’d hoped she was asleep so he could. She wasn’t.

She glanced up at him as he walked toward the bed, the lamplight casting a hazy shadow over the room. “Are they … has he gone to bed?”

“He’s on his way.” She was beautiful. Her silvery braid rested over her shoulder, and she looked all soft and warm, cuddled in the bedding. He wanted to hold her. Crawl in beside her and pull her against him. Touch her in places a husband was allowed to touch a wife, soft, warm places that swelled with desire. He wanted to cup her womanhood, feel the heat expanding her flesh. The insides of her thighs would be like satin, and the cleft of her would be wet, aching for his mouth … his tongue … his root. He wanted her to shiver with anticipation, and cry out with joy at her release. He would trade every experience he’d ever had with a woman for one night with his wife. He was one hell of a dreamer.

“McCloud,” she began, her eyebrows pinched into a frown as she shattered his erotic reverie. “I know this whole situation isn’t really your fault. I’m sorry if I snapped at you earlier. I mean, what else could you have told your friend? After all, it
is
the truth. We are married, even though it’s not what either of us would have chosen to do.”

He bit back a smile. She wasn’t very good at apologies. “I know, and I’ll—”

“You can sleep here.” She lay in the bed as stiff as a board, looking straight ahead. He swore she held her breath.

“Here?” Thinking about it was one thing, but an invitation to her bed with her in it was something he’d only imagined.

She drew in a sigh and flipped the covers back on the other side. “You can … you can sleep with me. Just
sleep,
mind you.”

Although it wasn’t what he’d dreamed of, it was an invitation nonetheless. He had no idea what had changed her mind, but he knew it wasn’t because she’d changed her feelings for him. God almighty, he wanted to sleep with her. But not if what she felt was duty. And the rigid way she lay in the bed plus the look on her face had “duty” written all over it.

He felt a mixture of emotions, angry with himself for feeling anything at all, and disappointed that there would be no passion, spontaneous or otherwise, in this union.

“You don’t have to do that, Miss Julia. I’m content to sleep in the living room.” Her sense of duty had all but extinguished his desire, and he turned and walked toward the door.

“You mean you’re rejecting my offer?” There was an odd cracking in her voice, which Wolf assumed was relief.

He sensed she’d welcome his barbed tongue. In truth, he didn’t know how else to answer her without letting her see more of him than he wanted her to.