Jane Bonander (27 page)

She couldn’t help but laugh. “You are terrible. Do you always get your thrills in the midst of danger?”

He no longer smiled, but his eyes were warm. “Not always.”

His serious side befuddled her. She reached for her drawers, but he stopped her.

“Don’t put them on, Julia.”

“McCloud,” she scolded, “we are not alone. Remember?”

He cursed. “Oh, yeah. It’s all coming back to me now.”

She scrambled into her underwear, tying it hastily at her waist before straightening her skirts. Her eyes drifted to her husband and she shivered. He was ready for her again.

“Shameful man,” she murmured around a smile. “Make yourself decent.”

With an exaggerated sigh, he hiked up his jeans. “An impossible task, m’love. Are you up to it?”

She turned away before he could see the longing in her eyes. “It’s a tempting offer. I’ll think about it,” she answered lightly. As she ambled toward the door, she added, “However, I actually prefer you the way you are. Irreverently
in
decent.”

His laughter followed her as she left the barn. She was grinning herself—as she ran smack dab into Baptiste. A blush started at her neck and ended as it sank into her scalp.

“So, Wolfgang is home, eh?”

She brushed the hay off her skirt and gave him a sick smile as she hurried toward the house.

The Frenchman laughed, the bawdy sound intensifying Julia’s embarrassment. He wandered into the barn, singing a tune in French that Julia was certain she wouldn’t want him to translate.

“So,
mon ami,”
Baptiste said around a huge, lusty grin, “I see you take care of the important things first, eh?”

Feeling no remorse, Wolf returned the grin and stuffed his shirt into his jeans. “Thanks for being here for me.”

“I am glad you are back. Not that I haven’t enjoyed the change,” Baptiste added, “but I think you are definitely needed here.”

“Anything serious?” With Serge and Frank Barnes in jail, he didn’t worry about that threat.

“Just the pregnant one,” he said with disgust. “She is like poison, making remarks about you and her in front of the sweet one.”

“The sweet one?” They left the barn and went to tend the horses.

“Of course. The one you married. She is the sweet one.”

Wolf chuckled. “So that’s how you see her? Sweet?”

“Oui.
She puts up with much from the other one.”

“Yeah. I was kind of hoping ‘the other one’ would be gone when I got home.”

“No. The pregnancy is not going well. The
bébé
may even be in danger. She tried to kill it.”

Wolf swatted the black on the rump and closed the paddock gate. “I guess I’ll have to face the situation sooner or later.” He handed the mare’s reins to his friend. “Put her in the barn, would you?”

Baptiste led the mare into the barn. Wolf pulled in a fortified sigh and headed for the house.

Josette had been watching for him, because when he passed her room, she called to him.

Stopping at the door, Wolf looked in. Josette was on the bed, resting against the headboard. At least, he thought it must be her, but God almighty, she looked nothing like the woman he remembered.

“I want to talk to you,” she announced.

Wolf was careful not to stare at her face, now swollen and covered with red blotches. He stepped inside and went to the foot of the bed. “What do you want?”

“You can look at me, Mr. McCloud. The expression on your face won’t shock me. I know what I look like.”

He raised his eyes, surprised at her tone. This was not the flighty, spoiled Josette that he remembered.

She straightened the quilt she was stitching over her stomach. “I’ve had a lot of time to think since I’ve been home.” She uttered a humorless laugh. “Everyone assumes I don’t think at all, but I’ve had nothing else to do, and the truth to tell, I find the process quite boring.”

She linked her swollen fingers together. “They tell me that sometimes I’m out of my head. Since I’m not right now, I have to ask a favor.”

Wolf felt an urgent need to be with Julia. “What do you want from me?” He was impatient and didn’t care if Josette knew it. He’d never cared much for her type, but when he discovered what she’d done to Marymae, what feelings he’d had for her disappeared. Now he felt only pity.

“I know about Papa’s will, Mr. McCloud. I know you married my sister so you could have the land.”

He had no intentions of explaining his feelings for Julia. “And if I did?”

“It’s my land, too. I don’t even want anything for myself, which may be hard for everyone to understand, since I spent most of my life wanting
everything
for myself. You see,” she continued, blotting her forehead with a crumpled linen square, “I know I’m dying.”

Her bluntness shocked Wolf, and he didn’t know what to say.

“What I want from you is some assurance that my children—Marymae and the one I’m carrying, should it survive and I don’t—will be well cared for. I don’t want them left out in the cold when you have your own children, Mr. McCloud.”

“What makes you think Julia would allow such a thing?”

“Women who think they’re in love do stupid things. I should know.” She sniggered a skeptical laugh. “She’d do anything you asked. If you should happen to not want my babies, she’d pawn them off on someone else.”

Wolf couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “She wouldn’t do that.”

“Why not? I did.”

Wolf made a fist, then stuffed it into his pocket to keep from sending it through the wall. “She’d give her
life
for your children. And I would never ask her to choose.”

“What of your heirs, Mr. McCloud? How do I know you won’t force her to change her mind once you have children of your own?”

“I wouldn’t abandon a child because it wasn’t mine.” He had the urge to tell her why, but decided he wouldn’t waste the energy. He heard the pups’ noisy play, and was glad he hadn’t separated them.

“I’m surprised you didn’t learn more from Julia,” he said. “I’ve known her only months, and she’s taught me more about love and honor than I knew existed.”

“How noble.” The words were strained. “That’s your answer, then?” She was sweating and in some distress.

“That’s my answer. They’ll be cared for and loved. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Anxious to leave her, he was out the door when she emitted a high-pitched scream.

J
osette’s scream sent Julia running from her own room. She found McCloud on his knees by the bed.

“McCloud? What is it?”

“I don’t know. We were talking, and all of a sudden she cried out.”

Julia willed herself not to panic. “Get Mattie, will you, please? Tell her to hurry.”

McCloud left the room, and Julia turned to her sister, noting the vacant look in her eyes.

“Josie?” She tapped her sister’s cheek. She got no response, then all of a sudden Josette stiffened and cried out again.

Julia whipped the covers off and looked at her sister’s pelvis. Fear sprang to the back of her throat. Josette was in labor.

Mattie bustled into the room. “What is it? What’s happened?”

“She’s in labor, Mattie. I don’t think there’s time to get the doctor.”

Mattie took charge. “Send one of the men for him, anyway. It’ll give them something to do and keep them out of our hair.”

McCloud poked his head around the corner. “What do you want me to do?”

Julia hoped he saw her gratitude. “Would you ride to Walnut Hill and get the doctor? Tell him it’s Josette’s time. And McCloud … ?”

He reappeared in the doorway. “Yes?”

“Be careful, but… please hurry.” At his quick nod, she turned back to the bed.

She’d been present at Josette’s last birth, but so had the doctor. Her job had been to keep him supplied with whatever he needed.

“Julia.” Mattie clapped her hands to get Julia’s attention. “If you faint, you’ll be as helpful to me as tits on a bull. Now go get me some clean bedding. Put my sewing scissors in hot water, then bring some water and soft cloths and keep your sister comfortable.”

“Yes. That’s what I was going to do, Mattie.” Julia hurried to gather what they would need, and prayed for both her sister and the unborn child.

Julia pinched back tears and pressed her fingers to her quivering lips as they lowered Josette’s casket into the ground. McCloud carried Marymae, and Mattie kept the tiny newborn baby girl wrapped like a mummy, even though there was no wind and the sun was warm. It was almost in passing that Julia noticed the baby’s white-blond hair and fair skin. So much had happened so quickly, the baby’s father had become the least important issue.

Grass and wildflowers grew over Papa’s grave, which lay a few feet away, and it gave Julia solace to know that Josette’s wouldn’t be a patch of bare earth for long.

Julia listened to the preacher’s prayers and accepted condolences from neighbors, but heard nothing. All she could think about was her poor sister, unable to find happiness in life. She hoped Josette would find it in death.

“She gave us two beautiful daughters, sweetheart.”

Julia gave her husband a wavery smile. “I know. I’ll miss her, and I’m so sorry she’s gone, but she wasn’t happy, Mac. And she wasn’t well.” She’d begun to shorten his name during the chaos of Josette’s birthing, and somehow it felt right. In her quiet musings, she would continue to think of Wolf as that wild, dangerous, disreputable breed who stole her heart. But Mac was the man she loved. And the man she’d tamed.

He led her to the buggy, helped her in, and handed her Marymae. Mattie was already there with the new baby, whose cries sounded like those of a newborn calf.

“We’ve got to name her, Julia.” Mattie’s voice was soft, as if she didn’t want to startle her.

“I know. I’d like to name her Bethany. When we were children, Josette had an old rag doll that she dragged everywhere. She’d called her Bethany.”

They rode home in silence, Julia leaning on McCloud’s shoulder. Everything had happened so fast, she hadn’t had time to tell him about her pregnancy or his mother’s land offer.

Later that night, when everyone else was finally asleep, Julia cuddled close to her husband’s chest. “Your mother wants to leave us her land.”

“I don’t want it.”

She made a face in the darkness. “Don’t be selfish and stubborn. Think of the children. I don’t care if you don’t want it. I do. It’s a windfall. It’s the children’s future we have to worry about, not ours. Although, with three children under the age of three, we could use it, too.”

His hand stopped on her buttocks. “I wondered when you were going to tell me.”

She rose up on her elbow. “You knew?”

“When my wife’s perky breasts start to fill out the bodice of her gown, I get suspicious.”

“We’re going to have quite a houseful,” she warned.

“I guess we’ll have to consider taking Meredith up on her offer, won’t we?”

Julia lay her head on his arm and breathed a sigh of relief. “I guess we will.”

“Julia?”

“Yes?” She kissed his shoulder.

“From the first moment I saw you, I knew you were a woman out of my reach. I thought to myself, ‘What could I do to deserve her?’ I couldn’t think of a damned thing. You were smart and witty. Noble and brave. And a whole passel of exciting contradictions I’ve only begun to understand.”

If he meant to compliment her, he was going about it the wrong way. “Is this leading up to something I don’t want to hear?”

“I don’t think so. I want to tell you all of this, so be patient with me. The first night you invited me into your bed, I could tell that you were offering out of a sense of duty. I wanted fire. Passion.” He bent and kissed her, the familiarity of his mouth provocative foreplay.

“I knew I wouldn’t find it that night, and I honestly didn’t know if I’d ever find it with you. Hell, how could a woman like you possibly give yourself to a man like me? I didn’t deserve you, and I don’t feel worthy. You say you love me. That’s not an easy thing for me to accept.”

She turned in his arms. “And why not?”

“Because you’re not getting nearly the man you deserve.” He rubbed his lips against her forehead.

“Do you love me, Wolfgang McCloud?”

“I love you, and I’m happy you’re my wife. I got a better deal out of this than you.”

Relieved, she nestled closer. “That’s your opinion. Do you know what you’ve done for me?”

“This I’ve got to hear.”

“You’ve made me feel beautiful. You’ve brought passion and love into my life, and I never believed it would happen to me. And you’re an honorable, decent man, Mac.”

“Hell, I’m not that decent. I’d thought about you naked long before I believed I’d actually see you that way.”

Laughing, she thumped his shoulder with her fist.

“Julia,” he began, “I’m going to say this once, then we never have to mention it again…”

She waited.

“I love Marymae, and I’ll love Bethany, too. I plan on telling them often, because when they learn about things, they’ll need to know that they
are
loved. They’re luckier than my brother and me. From the very beginning, they’ve had you. They can’t be blamed for the circumstances of their births any more than I should be blamed for the circumstances of mine. I never want them to feel second best. I never want them to think that just because we aren’t their natural parents, we can’t love them as much as we do our own.”

Julia felt tears slide down her cheeks. “I’d like to meet your brother one day, although I can tell without seeing him that I got the pick of the litter.”

He smiled against her hair. “Speaking of litters, what’ll we name those two rascals I brought home?”

“Do you think Papa and Angus would be offended if we named the puppies after them?”

“Angus and Amos. They sound a lot alike, so they’ll both come running when one is called. Hell,” he said with a laugh, “it works for me.” He bent and claimed her mouth.

Love, ripe with tenderness and passion, spilled from Julia’s heart, cleansing her soul. Life would not be easy, but with Wolf McCloud by her side, she knew she would never be lonely. And loneliness was a far harder burden to bear, because one bore it alone.