Authors: Jessie Keane
Coming to this point on the perimeter always filled Saz with a dreamy, nightmarish sense of déjà vu. It was nearly five o’clock on Thursday afternoon, and she and Jase were standing on the grass verge outside the wall surrounding the grounds of The Fort. Hardly any cars passed by, and that was good as far as Jase was concerned; that was
excellent.
Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea
, thought Saz. Just being here again made her feel faintly sick. And she’d never liked Jase. She knew the feeling was mutual. She’d been doped up and pretty drunk when she had agreed to this last night. Now she wished she hadn’t, but she couldn’t very well go back on her word. Jase wouldn’t like it, and he was so uncertain of temper that you wouldn’t want to upset him, not ever.
She reckoned that Jase had been OD-ing on the steroids, he was so pumped up and aggressive. A lot of the guys in Uncle Si and Freddy’s orbit did that, big bulging muscles and an attack-dog attitude earned their keep, after all. But it was too late for second thoughts.
‘You’re sure it’s off now?’ Jase was asking her.
‘Yeah,’ she said, still feeling unhappy about this.
All around the wall there were sensors. The grounds themselves were crisscrossed with electric beams that would trigger an alarm if anything crossed them. But, between two and six every Thursday, it was all switched off, because the gardener was in the grounds.
She was sure all right. How many times as a kid had she come in and out of here on a Thursday afternoon, finding this little section of wall where the bricks were. All you had to do then was avoid the gardener, use your key to get into the house – she still had a key – and bingo, there you were, inside. It was a game, beating the system, proving how clever she was. Like
Mission Impossible
.
Her mother had come back and so she’d had to leave, but this was her home, she couldn’t be banished from it just like that, so she hadn’t handed back the new key.
Fuck you, Mother dear.
‘I can’t see why you want to get into the house, though,’ she said to Jase.
‘I explained all that,’ said Jase with a theatrical sigh. ‘I’m going to wait until dark, okay? And I don’t want to risk being spotted by the gardener, see? He’d get spooked and I’d have to explain; it would all get too complicated and it would ruin the surprise. So I wait inside the house somewhere, in one of the spare rooms or some damned thing, until it’s dark – and then I sneak out and propose to her, ain’t that romantic?’
Yeah. It was. Very. Saz wondered if Richard would ever do such a thing, but she knew he never would. For a moment she was envious of Oli with the passionate Jase wooing her back after an argument. All she ever got from Richard after they’d rowed was sulks and the silent treatment for days on end: it really wore a person down. But then, Richard would
never turn really nasty, and she had a feeling that Jase could do that in an instant.
She couldn’t back out now.
But coming here disturbed her. Brought back so many memories, of happy days and of hideous ones too. Happy times, sneaking around, hugging her secret to herself. Happy memories, and hideous ones. That night. Oh, that night. Coming back to see Dad, because he was there alone, Mum was away. Saz was Dad’s Best Girl, his favourite, so she sneaked back in to see him, surprise him.
Surprise, Dad! Surprise!
And he had been surprised.
Very surprised indeed.
He watched them from along the road. He was tucked into the shadows of the woodland opposite the house, and he was thinking that this would be just fine if only he could lose Saz somewhere. No need to involve the poor little cow in all this – it was a shame but a man had to do what a man had to do. He’d do it, too. He’d work it out. He
had
to. He’d waited so long for this.
Inside prison, Lily King had been protected by an invisible ring of steel. Outside, she was more vulnerable, but Leo had done this gaff up like Fort Knox, which had been a problem when she had retreated inside the house, which she had done more and more, lately. She was getting nervous of coming out. He knew that.
She was
right
to be nervous, because given half a chance he was going to do it, have his revenge. Fuck Si and what he said all the time – wait, just wait; well, fuck that, and fuck Si too and fuck the horse he rode in on. Freddy was
done
with waiting. He’d been watching Jase chatting up Saz,
and wondered what the hell all that was about, but now he knew, now he could see, and he was triumphant.
Saz had a way in. She was going to show Jase the way, probably to make up with Oli.
Oh, Jase boy, you are wasting your time
, thought Freddy. Because he wasn’t going to get a chance to patch it up with Oli; he wasn’t going to get a chance for anything. Jase was long overdue a lesson, and tonight he was going to get it. Two birds with one stone, wallop. It would be
sweet.
Freddy watched with satisfaction as Jase and Saz bent to the wall and started moving the bricks to one side.
Yes.
Nick phoned at just after six. Lily had paid the gardener at half past five, and then he’d left. She’d put the security system back on, and she was in the sitting room; the light was fading just a little outside. She went and pulled the drapes, switched on a light. A warm glow filled the room.
‘Hi,’ said Nick. ‘You okay?’
‘Shouldn’t I be?’
‘It shook you up, that happening to Jack Rackland.’
Yeah, and it was all my fault
, thought Lily. Nick was right. She
was
stupid.
‘I’m just going to phone the hospital,’ she said.
‘Is that wise?’
Lily felt an edge of annoyance. ‘No. Probably not. But I can’t just let the poor bastard lie there and die.’
‘He might not be dead, yet.’
‘It looked pretty bad.’
‘Leave it to his family. Keep your head down. He’s in good hands.’
‘He don’t have a family. Well…only an ex-wife.’ Mouthy little Monica, whom Lily thought Jack was still in love with.
‘Even so. Leave it.’
Lily flopped down on the couch, drooping, her spirits low. She’d liked Jack; she’d appreciated his dedication and his humour. To see him like that…broken, bloody…had been horrible; it had left her shaken and sick. But Nick was right, she didn’t dare enquire about him at the hospital. If the police traced the attack back to Winston, it might not be long, despite all Nick’s assurances, before they came knocking at her door.
And then what?
She was terrified of going back inside; she’d rather top herself first. To be caged up again would be beyond awful, now that she’d had a taste of freedom. All right, she’d made no headway at all with Saz; but she was hoping that would change, given time.
I’m sorry, Daddy, I’m so sorry.
Sorry for what?
That refrain from Saz’s sleepwalking kept echoing through her brain.
Now she had to confront it. She had to face the possibility that it had been Saz, her own daughter, who had done that to Leo. And if it
was
Saz, where did that leave her? Where did it leave any of them?
Up shit creek
, she thought miserably.
Without a paddle and without a shred of hope that life would ever be normal again.
Lily wrenched her wandering mind away from the massive problem that was Saz, and instead she thought of Oli. Her little Oli had grown into a sweet and funny young woman; she loved spending time with her. And there would be Oli’s
baby soon to spoil. If she had to go down again, she would miss yet more years with her precious girls. She couldn’t – wouldn’t – endure that.
And there was Nick, too.
Nick, who had been her first love. Nick, the man she
should
have married. She was – to her own shock – still head over heels in love with him; she could admit it to herself if to no one else. Just hearing his deep, gravelly voice on the phone gave her the shivers. If she got banged up again, where would that leave her and Nick?
Yet she had come within an inch of risking jail. Had pulled out the Magnum, and if Winston had kept coming she knew she would have used it. Blown him away – and blown away her own chances of freedom, too.
‘You still there?’ Nick was asking.
‘Yeah.’
‘You
sure
you’re okay? I could come over.’
‘No, I’m all right. I’m not good company right now. Think I’ll just get an early night.’
She could hear the Kaiser Chiefs being played loudly upstairs. Oli was in her room. Oli, who was pregnant with Lily’s first grandchild. That was something to be celebrated, even though the circumstances were far from ideal. But Lily didn’t feel in the mood for that, either. She felt a gnawing anxiety about Jack. Wanted to know he was okay. Or dead. Or
something.
She just wanted to
know
, either way.
‘You get some sleep. Okay?’ said Nick.
‘Okay.’
And he was gone. And it was then that Lily heard voices, a man’s and a woman’s, arguing in whispers in the hall.
Lily stood up and went to the half-open door of the sitting room, both curious and concerned. No one should be in here…unless Oli had invited some friends round? But Oli would have told her; she knew Lily didn’t like strangers wandering around the house.
Lily paused, just a step or two from the door into the hall. She knew the woman’s voice, the woman was Saz. Lily frowned. Saz had left, yet here she was, back inside the house. And…that wasn’t Richard’s voice. This voice was harder, harsher. Lily stopped in her tracks, and a buzz of fear went skittering up the back of her neck. She tiptoed to one side of the door, flattened herself to the wall behind it. She heard Saz hiss: ‘Look, I don’t know about this.’
‘You what?’ asked the man with her. His voice had risen. He toned it down. ‘You
what?
’ he whispered.
Lily looked through the gap beside the hinges on the door and saw Jase standing there with Saz.
What the hell
…? she thought.
‘I don’t think we should go ahead with this. I’m sorry. But
I don’t think Oli’s going to be very pleased about it. She don’t much like surprises. I really think—’
‘You
think?
’ Jase laughed at that. The sound echoed out there, bounced off the marble. Lily could see them across the hall, standing near the front door. Jase’s body language was confrontational; Saz’s was apologetic, head bent, her expression uncertain.
‘I’m sorry,’ said Saz, and gave an unhappy shrug.
‘It’s too late for changes of plan now,’ hissed Jase.
Saz’s head whipped up and she stared at him. Lily watched, wondering what the hell was going on. How had they got inside the house? And surprise Oli with
what
, exactly?
She was getting a bad, bad feeling about this.
‘Look, I’ve decided…’ whispered Saz.
‘No,
you
look,’ shot back Jase, his voice rising now, looming over Saz, stabbing at her with a finger to emphasize his point. ‘You just fuck off now, take yourself off somewhere, okay? If you know what’s good for you, because I got something I gotta do here, and I’m going to do it right now.’
‘Oli won’t be impressed by this,’ said Saz, shrinking back a little.
‘Oli?’ Now he laughed, and it was an ugly, threatening sound. ‘Fuck Oli, the dozy mare. It’s your ma I’ve come to see. Time her and me had a little chat.’
And Lily saw Jase pull out a cosh, wield it in his right hand.
Shit a brick
, she thought.
‘So where is she?’ asked Jase. He wasn’t even bothering to talk softly now. He was focused on what he had to do, that was all.
Saz said nothing. She stood there as if paralysed, looking at the cosh in Jase’s meaty hand.
‘Where is she?’
roared Jase.
Saz flinched and cowered back.
Jase advanced on her, smacking the cosh into his palm. ‘Come
on
, Saz. Tell me where the bitch is.’
‘You lied to me,’ said Saz shakily, backing away.
Saz
, thought Lily in terror.
Oh God, was he going to hurt Saz?
She wanted to dash out into the hall, throw herself at him, kill him with her bare hands. But her feet were frozen to the floor.
Suddenly Jase swung the cosh. Saz gave a cry and there was a sharp
whack
as the thing hit her cheekbone. She staggered back and fell. Lily clapped her hands over her mouth to stifle the scream of rage and terror that almost escaped her.
‘Where?’
bellowed Jase, standing over the poleaxed Saz. ‘You want some more of this?
Do you?
’
Saz was prone, clutching a hand to her bleeding cheek, sobbing. She shook her head wildly.
‘Tell me where,’ said Jase.
Saz said nothing.
Lily swallowed hard and stepped out, started to move around the door. Fuck it, she couldn’t let him hit Saz again. She
couldn’t.
And then Oli’s voice from the top of the stairs said: ‘
Jase?
What the hell are you doing here? Oh my God.
Saz?
What’s happened? What’s he done to you?’
Lily heard Oli start down the stairs.
‘She up there?’ Jase was saying, and she heard his tread, heavier, bulkier, he was going up the stairs. Shit,
Oli
was up there, the cash, oh Christ in heaven, Oli was pregnant and he could hurt her, throw her down the stairs, make her
lose the child, anything. He could hurt both her girls, and she couldn’t let that happen, she just couldn’t.
She stepped out around the door.
Saz spied her instantly. But Jase and Oli couldn’t see her, they were on the stairs. Lily looked straight at Saz.
Honey, be quiet. Say nothing
, Lily’s eyes said urgently to her daughter.
‘You can’t come in here just like this. How the fuck did you get in here?’ Oli was screaming at Jase as he thundered up the stairs towards her.
Got to do something quick
, thought Lily. She crept out into the hall, Saz watching her dazedly, and eased open the cupboard under the stairs. Tools in there. A hammer. She snatched it out of the box.
‘You bastard, what are you
doing?
’ Oli was shouting.
Lily’s eyes fell on the fusebox. She flipped up the cover and looked at the pop-out fuses there. Showers. Ring circuit. Water heaters. Cookers.
Lights.
She pulled out the fuse.
Suddenly, The Fort was plunged into darkness.