Jaded (26 page)

As a result, she’d hurt Lucas’s feelings because she’d assumed that his affectless face meant he didn’t have any for her.

Foolish girl. Foolish, foolish girl.

Now she really didn’t know what to do.

“What’s going on with you and Lucas?”

Alana’s eyes widened, then shot to Darla’s face. She smiled back and sipped her coffee. “You girls are really very sweet to be so concerned about my tender ears, but please remember, I became an unwed mother at seventeen. I do know people have sex. I’m very hard to shock.”

“But . . . no one in Walkers Ford is supposed to know,” Alana said.

“No one in Walkers Ford does know,” Darla replied.

“She keeps secrets very well,” Marissa said with a little smile.

“Nothing’s going on. Nothing permanent, anyway,” Alana amended. “I’m leaving as soon as we get back to Walkers Ford. My contract’s up, and I finished the work I did for Mayor Turner when I made the presentation to the town council.”

“Are they going to renovate the library?” Marissa asked.

Alana shrugged. “To be honest, I don’t pay much attention to what happens after I do the research. This is the first time I’ve pulled everything together to develop a proposal and make recommendations.”

“It was a lovely proposal,” Darla said. “Cody’s drawings really brought to life what you described. I could look at them and see exactly what your changes would do for the county.”

“It’s hard to believe your job is so specialized,” Marissa said.

“It’s more efficient. I do one thing, and I do it very, very well. Freddie does something else, and she does that thing very, very well. We have researchers, script writers, proposal writers, event planners.”

“Do you like that?”

“I like contributing to what the Wentworth Foundation stands for,” Alana said. “We make a difference on a global scale. I’m a part of that.”

Marissa made a noncommittal noise and finished her pound cake. “So Lucas was just a sabbatical fling. Do people have flings on sabbatical?”

“I did.”

“You don’t seem like the type,” Marissa said gently.

“And that’s why I did it,” Alana replied. “We should go.”

 • • • 

THEY CAUGHT A
cab back to the hotel in plenty of time for a quick nap before Marissa knocked on her door.

“I’m actually getting excited,” she said. “Oh. You’re already ready.”

She’d showered, dressed, and done her hair and makeup shortly after waking up, mostly out of habit. Freddie’s routine always took longer than Alana’s, and she’d gotten used to keeping her own hair and makeup simple so she could help with Freddie’s far more elaborate preparations. She looked at the eye shadow compact in shades of dark blue and gray in her makeup bag. A sunset wedding on the beach was the perfect occasion for smoky eyes, but somehow it didn’t feel right. She slid the compact back into her makeup bag and used the more neutral shades of sand and pink she always wore.

Marissa took a shower and styled her hair while Alana double-checked all the arrangements with the hotel’s event staff. The sun was a ball of red fire hanging low in the sky when Darla knocked on the door, the dress in hand. Alana watched Darla zip Marissa into the dress, fussing until the folds lay just right. Then the older woman stepped back and swiped under her carefully applied eye makeup.

“What’s wrong?” Marissa said. “The dress is perfect. It was perfect yesterday, and it’s even more perfect today.”

“I’m so happy for you,” Darla said quietly. “You and Adam. It took so long for you to get here, but you’re here, and I’m happy and relieved and just full of joy for you both.”

“Don’t make me cry,” Marissa said. “Not yet.”

Another knock at the door. Alana opened it to take the bouquet of red roses from the event planner, who assured her everything was ready down at the beach. The officiant had arrived. They were ready whenever Marissa was ready.

“Let’s go,” she said.

Alana stuffed the extra packages of tissues and her travel sewing kit into her purse and followed Darla and Marissa through the corridor, into the elevator, and through the lobby. This wasn’t all that different from doing things with Freddie. Heads turned and conversations stopped when Marissa swept through the room, tall and slender and barefoot, her dark hair falling in tousled waves to her elbows, her bouquet of red roses held loose in one hand, Adam’s ring on her thumb, her eyes bright with fire and life.

They made their way past the pool, through the gate to the beach, and past the hotel guests packing up as the sun went down, to the event space. It was worth it to be in the background, watching for the moment Adam saw Marissa in her wedding dress. While in the middle of a conversation with Nate, Lucas, and the officiant, he stopped talking mid-sentence, as if seeing Marissa made the air evaporate from his lungs.

Gobsmacked
was a term Freddie had picked up since meeting Toby. Adam looked gobsmacked. Nate’s smile was a little twist of his mouth.

Lucas was looking at Alana.

The expression on his face was so intense, so full of longing, that Alana almost turned to see who was standing behind her. She wore a very simple linen sheath in the cornflower blue that matched her eyes, and like everyone else on the beach besides the officiant, was barefoot. In keeping with the beach theme, she wore a subtle eye shadow and mascara with a tinted gloss on her lips. Her cheeks she’d trusted to her blushes.

Lucas kept staring. She ducked her head and felt her hair sliding across her hot cheek. When she was close enough, he held out his hand. In a move as natural as breathing, she reached for it, felt his warm, callused palm brush hers as he wove their fingers together. She forgot that they weren’t supposed to be doing this.

“Shall we begin?” the officiant asked.

There’d been no rehearsal dinner, no choreography. White wooden chairs and low tables laden with a casual meal and drinks lined the beach. The guests closed in a circle around Adam and Marissa, who stood with their hands linked as the officiant guided them through their vows. Fiery sunset reds, oranges, and pinks bathed their faces as they promised to love, honor, and cherish, until death did them part. The honesty and sincerity lay in every line of their bodies, transforming simple ceremony into powerful ritual, binding blood to blood and bone to bone. Tears welled up in Alana’s eyes.

“You may now kiss the bride,” the officiant said.

Adam’s hand slid under Marissa’s hair to her nape, a possessive move mediated by the gentle brush he gave her lips. It was respectful and intimate all at once. Marissa’s lips curved into a smile under his, then gave way to a laughing sob as she threw her arms around his neck. A whoop and a round of applause, then the circle closed into handshakes and hugs.

“That’s not a gold band,” Alana said with a laugh.

A platinum band set with princess-cut diamonds encircled Marissa’s ring finger. She stared down at it. “No, it’s not.”

Adam brushed a kiss on the top of her head. “You thought we should have matching bands. I thought you should have that.”

“I love it,” she whispered.

“Good,” he whispered back.

 • • • 

LIGHT POLLUTION BLANCHED
the sky to dusky gray velvet dotted with stars when Alana found herself in one of the chairs, sipping a glass of white wine as Marissa opened presents. Nate had organized a group gift from the marines, a transponder with Wi-Fi, USB, and a GPS that could be run from their phones. Lucas slid into the chair next to hers and held out a plate with a slice of wedding cake.

“Thank you,” she said, touched.

He sectioned off a bit of the cake and stared out at the ocean.

“Bill Garrett seems to think I have cooties,” she said. “You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”

“I might,” he said, then ate another bite. “Do you want to know?”

“Not really,” she admitted. “But thank you.”

“I thought you’d know how to handle him.”

She let the frosting dissolve on her tongue before she spoke. “I’m a product of eleven years of girls’ schools, and Freddie Wentworth’s little sister. No one ever notices me.”

“I noticed you,” he said. “I noticed you right away.”

Her cheeks heated at his quiet words. “What did you think of the ceremony?” before she remembered he was divorced. “I’m sorry. Forget I asked.”

He shrugged. “We tried. It didn’t work.”

“They’re going to work,” she said with a nod at Adam and Marissa.

“They know what they want,” Lucas said.

She nodded, but the real difference was that they had the courage to go for it. Marissa had been dreaming of the ocean for years before Adam gave her the impetus to live her dream. As a Marine, Adam had seen death up close. Marissa had lost everyone she loved before she was twenty-five years old. Maybe that’s what allowed them to break away and start a new life together, the certainty that death was a heartbeat away.

Watching the wedding, Alana thought that Marissa knew what she wanted. She just didn’t think she could have it. She’d been tied to her past in Walkers Ford, weighted down by over a hundred years of history, while Adam carried a terrible burden of guilt. But while all the people Adam and Marissa were beholden to—Marissa’s father, the boy who died in a motorcycle race with Adam—were dead, Alana’s responsibility was to the living. She couldn’t possibly leave Freddie, or the Wentworth Foundation to work as a public librarian in a small town. Could she?

“You look amazing,” Lucas said softly.

“No different than I normally look,” she said. “The night of the town hall I wanted to get out of my work clothes and put on makeup and a pretty outfit. But I was running late, and you were home early. I missed my chance.”

“Probably for the best,” he said. “If you’d looked any more seductive, I would have ignored Duke and Mitch and the meeting just to get you under me.”

His mild tone didn’t match the sexual promise infusing his words. An electric current raced through her, intense and shocking because his tone had deepened, darkened. He was seducing her.

“You’re blushing again.”

“I’m not.”

His breath drifted against her bare shoulder. “I want to take you to bed.”

“I didn’t mean that as a challenge!”

He went on as if she hadn’t spoken. “I want to take you upstairs, and turn off the lights, and watch your skin turn pink as I move inside you. When I’ve kissed you and your skin’s marked by my mouth, you look like a rose in the moonlight. It gets darker when I’m moving inside you, that blood flush.” He turned to look at her, and the demand in his eyes halted her breath in her lungs. “I want that one more night before you leave.”

Her heart stopped in her chest. Lucas Ridgeway hid a poet’s soul under that affectless surface. “Is it too soon?” she whispered, looking around the fire.

“Darla went to bed an hour ago. They’ll be telling stories until the sun comes up.”

She nodded. He took her hand, and they set off across the sand. She caught Marissa’s eye and lifted a hand in farewell. From her position on Adam’s lap, Marissa gave her a smile and a finger wave, then leaned her head back against Adam’s shoulder.

 • • • 

SHE LEFT THE
lights off when they reached her room, but opened the curtains and the sliding glass doors to let in the sound of waves lapping at the sand. She walked through the pale swatch of moonlight back to the bed. Lucas’s lips were warm and soft against hers, seeming to memorize the taste and feel of her mouth, letting her do the same. He trailed his mouth down her neck to the juncture of her shoulder, then turned her back to him so he could lower the zipper of her dress. His fingertips skated over her shoulder blades, raising goose bumps and pebbling her nipples as her dress fell to the floor, leaving her in her silk underwear. He unhooked her bra and pushed it off. Her panties slipped from her hips, leaving her bare before him.

She should have felt exposed, standing naked in front of him, but his dark gaze, both reverent and intent, draped her in shadows while she unbuttoned his shirt. Soon he was as bare as she was, reclining on the bed, letting her commit him to memory. She focused on areas where tastes and textures changed, from the scrape of his stubble to the soft skin of his neck, the wiry texture of hair giving way to his hip bones, the taste of sweat rising in the crease of his thigh as he arched and groaned under her hands.

When she smoothed a condom down his shaft and took him inside her, everything changed. Her inner walls softened and stretched to accommodate him, then she bent forward and kissed him. “Lucas,” she whispered. “Lucas.”

“Shh,” he said, and rolled her to her back. Her eyes fluttered closed with the first stroke, but she forced them open, the better to capture every moment, every expression. He drew it out until she ached with desire. “Not yet,” she murmured. “Not yet. A little longer.”

By the time it ended they were both shivering in the moonlight. She muffled her cries in his shoulder and held him while he came. He left her long enough to get rid of the condom, then slid into the bed and pulled the covers over them both.

She lay awake long after he dropped into sleep. The moon and stars held the space between sunset and sunrise. For the first time, sex with Lucas felt like a good-bye.

 • • • 

THE NEXT MORNING
dawned sunny and quiet. Nate set an early departure to get him back to Chicago in time for a family commitment, so Alana, Darla, Lucas, and Nate were scheduled to meet up for breakfast at the hotel’s restaurant. Darla was the only person who didn’t look like she’d been up all night. Nate declined food, held his head rather carefully, and left his sunglasses on against the light streaming through the floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the marina.

Alana had showered and dressed in her jeans and jacket again, but didn’t feel up to dealing with her contacts this morning, so she wore her blue-rimmed glasses. After a quick glance in the mirror, she decided against any makeup at all. The flush in her lips and cheeks was more than enough color.

Packing took no time at all. She rolled her bag between the tables, said a quiet good morning, then got herself some juice and fruit. “Late night?” she asked Nate.