Jaded (18 page)

His heart executed a free-fall from his stomach to his toes. “I’ll see about that.” He pressed his lips to hers, hungry for the kiss, desperate to change her mind. Her soft lips accepted him readily, telling him she’d been hoping for this as much as he had. Their tongues met cautiously. Every square inch of skin on his body was buzzing. Fireworks exploded in his heart.

If after this kiss she could still lie to herself and to him, then Luke would retreat. Like she wanted. No more begging her to be his when she refused to accept her own feelings.

She broke apart from him, breathless. She gazed at him with the unmistakable look of delight in her eyes.

“Tell me you still don’t want to be with me.” He said it like it was a dare. He rested his forehead against hers.

She was silent as she gazed into his eyes, breathing heavily. His heart writhed in his chest as he awaited her answer.

“Do it,” he said, hands gripping her hips as though she might drift away. “Tell me you don’t want to be with me.” He dragged his lips against her cheek, leaving small kisses across her face. “Or can’t you?” His heart was pounding.

“I...” She paused and swallowed. “I don’t want to be with you.”

It took a few moments before the words sank in and Luke’s world crashed to the floor. He pulled himself away from her, surprised to find that his body felt physically heavy. He stared at her, not sure of what to say. She looked conflicted and as though she might prefer to take the words back, but she didn’t say anything more.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” It was all he could think of. He turned and shuffled out of her house before she could even wish him goodnight.

She didn’t try to stop him, didn’t call after him or run out to block him from getting in the car. All of which Luke took as proof that it had to stop here; the whole cat-and-mouse game had to come to an end. Isabella was the first woman he had fallen for in too many years for him to even remember, and the first woman to reject him.

Chapter Nine

Before Isabella had realized, it was Monday, marking the first day of the fifth week of construction.

Only eight billion more to go,
she thought, arranging her workspace at 7:00 a.m. as she prepared to tackle her writer’s block and finish her most recent assignment.

The article would be going a lot more smoothly if she could stop thinking about Luke. In fact, a lot of other things about her life would be going a lot more smoothly if only she could stop thinking about Luke.

The past week had been the closest thing to hell that she could imagine. Luke had been true to his word and she was devastated. He didn’t look at her, talk to her unless business required it, and acted like a ghost around the house. Some days, she couldn’t run into him even when she purposely sought him out. The desperation coursing through her veins after a week of this behavior was enough to make her go crazy. She had expected there to be an adjustment period as she weaned herself off the physical intimacy, but she hadn’t expected the visceral reaction to his absence. No, she hadn’t counted on that at all. All sexual pursuits aside, Luke had a magnetic energy that had entwined itself in her life. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so impacted by someone’s mere presence. Just knowing that he was available to her made all the difference, whether or not it would lead further than that.

She gnawed on a nail as she thought for the millionth time what she should do next, noticing that she had very few nails left to gnaw on. It felt like it had been a year since his lips had last touched hers, when in reality it had only been a week since he showed up at her doorstep looking lost and desperate for her. Time was dragging as she debated her next step. Her heart was screaming to rectify the situation with him, but the voice in the back of her head was still quietly warning her of future heartbreak.

Regardless of her indecision, she was happy to note that life was still going on. Even though she was conflicted and suffering from a lack of Luke, the world was still turning. Everything was going to be fine after more time went by and she forgot about him and this crazy, pulsating, illogical rush of hormones in her body. At least that’s what she kept telling herself.

The crew would be over within the hour and today marked the halfway point of the project. She remembered something about the family room wall coming down today, as well as the installation of a Jacuzzi on the new balcony outside her bedroom. The balcony been built sometime last week, and she couldn’t count how many times she’d pulled open her new French doors with a flourish and imagined greeting a waiting crowd.

She checked her watch, rearranged some things on her desk, and checked her email for the fifth time that morning. Productivity would be a struggle today; she was so amped up by the possibility of seeing Luke after the weekend without workers in the house. Her gaze settled on her bookcase, packed full with various reading materials. Her heart twisted in her chest as she thought back to the night Luke had given it to her.

She couldn’t exactly deny how much she wanted to be in a relationship with him. It seemed like they would be amazing together, despite how different they were. Experienced or not, Luke looked like he could shape up. And more importantly, he was actually eager to learn. As time wore on, it was getting harder to keep her heartbreak at the forefront of her mind, no matter how hard she fought to keep her rational mind in control.

A few minutes before the crew was supposed to arrive, Isabella set aside her article and went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Suddenly, there was scuffling at the door, loud voices, and the sound of feet stomping through her house. She smiled. The boys were home.

As they filed through the house, some noticed her cooking at the stove.

“Oh, whatcha cookin’?” a worker she thought was named Jimmy asked.

“Bacon. I can make you guys some, if you want.”

The groan of consensus told her she’d better make a lot. She threw a whole package of bacon onto the burner in addition to her strips and leaned against the counter, watching them sizzle.

Jimmy peered beyond the corner and beckoned down the hall. “Hey Luke! Bacon!”

Isabella’s stomach flopped. Luke entered the kitchen, looking around. “Where?”

Their eyes met briefly and she felt as though he’d scorched her soul.

“I’m not really hungry,” he said quickly and left the room.

When Luke returned a bit later, he was carrying a white door over his shoulder. He leaned it against the wall and fished some tools out of his tool belt.

“All right, boys! It’s ready!” She dumped the contents of the frying pan onto a plate and pushed it out on the counter top. The guys devoured it, leaving Isabella with one scrap for herself.

“Thanks, Isabella,” they each said in turn, munching on their bacon. All the men trickled out of the room until it was just her and Luke.

“Are you sure you don’t want something to eat?” she offered, after the silence had become impenetrable.

“I’m fine.” He continued working on the door, not bothering to look at her.

“Oh...” She watched him work for a little bit, admiring the way his muscles flexed as he screwed in some bolts. She searched for something to say, some way to ease the tension, but came up with nothing.

As she turned to walk away, her skin prickled. She faced him, and he was staring right at her. Burning a hole through her heart.

For a long moment, no one said anything.

“I’ll be in my office if you want to see me,” she whispered. “Feel free to interrupt.” She paused, holding the gaze longer, loving the way it felt to have those eyes on her again. “I would love it if you did.”

As she walked toward her private office, she wished she hadn’t said that. Now she would spend the whole day holed up in there, waiting, anxious and desperate to see if he would stop in.

For a week, she’d been torturing herself with breathy recollections of their nights together, of their intense, heated passion that was crazy enough to make her believe she’d fallen in love with him, if only momentarily. She’d been going insane thinking about how much it seemed she was giving up, how much she was leaving unexplored.

She had to end the torture. Not only did she want Luke, she
needed
Luke. Logical mind be damned.

She turned her head to face the slight breeze that drifted through the window, bringing with it the heady scent of early Florida mornings and the lilacs just outside the window. Squinting against the morning sunlight, she listened hard. Luke’s voice drifted from below. She shivered, wanting that voice next to her ear, his hands on her hips, his eyes locked on hers, and his lips over her own.

“Come on, Luke,” she whispered, looking up at the ceiling as though praying to God. “Make this happen.”

***

Isabella had logged a couple solid hours of work when something made her screech to a stop. Her skin prickled and her hair stood on end. She was afraid to look up and find out that it wasn’t Luke, as his image had been in the back of her mind since she saw him that morning.

She turned around. Luke was leaning against the door frame, gnawing on the inside of his cheek. He looked unaffected, expressionless.

“Hey,” she breathed. Her knees went weak and she seriously doubted she’d be able to stand and walk toward him if needed.

He was silent as he walked into the room, shutting the door behind him. He leaned against the wall a bit closer to her, gnawing at the inside of his cheek again, still expressionless.

“You came to talk to me?”

He shrugged, watching her intensely. There was a bevy of emotions and thoughts inside his head; she could practically feel them in the air.

“I-I...” She couldn’t even hope for coherency, now that he was so near. Her mind buzzed with happiness but her body was rendered limp. She didn’t know what to say; all she knew was that just looking at him in the same room was enough to satisfy her for a week.

He walked over to her and grabbed her hands, gently pulling her to a standing position. He guided her close to him, mouths only inches apart.

“How does this feel?” he asked softly, placing his hands at her hips.

“How does what feel?” His question confused her, only because his presence had made her numb with happiness. She knew, on a cellular level, exactly what he was talking about, but couldn’t force her brain and her body to sync up. He pulled her closer until their chests touched. Brushing his lips against her ear, he said hotly, “This.”

The warmth of his body spilled over into hers and she could have died in his arms.

“Perfect,” she whispered, collapsing into his embrace. He held her for a long time, unmoving. Their silence was comfortable and natural, and she thought she could almost hear his racing heartbeat match the rhythm of her own.

“I’m going to come over tonight,” he whispered into her ear, stating it more as a fact than a request.

“Okay.” Her eyes fluttered shut and she buried her face in his chest.

“Just be ready,” he said before he pulled away.

She bit her lip, not sure of his meaning. She liked the sound of it, though.

“That sounds like a threat,” she said, cracking a smile.

“It is,” he said, smiling with dimples on display. As if on cue, a lock of hair fell across his eyes and she felt herself slide all the way back to the starting line, all the way back to where she had desperately tried to pull herself from, inch by inch—head over heels for this guy, his face, his thoughts.

“I need to go back to work,” he whispered, his hot breath appearing at her ear again. She felt happiness zip through all areas of her body, over and over again until she thought she’d fall over again.

“Don’t,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“But Bella...”

“Stay with me,” she whispered, dragging her lips over his neck.

He quieted her with a soft kiss on the lips, then took her hands in his and brought them to her sides. “I’ll see you later.”

He exited quickly, leaving the air in the room thick with longing. She collapsed into a chair, feeling drained and titillated all at the same time. This night would be exceptional, she already knew. She wasn’t sure time could move quickly enough.

***

Luke’s time was running out.

Isabella was never going to be his. Their rollercoaster ride of hot and cold, back and forth, could continue forever, and she had proven how stubborn she could be. Sure, he was going over there tonight, but how long would it be until her next attack of conscience left him nursing an aching heart yet again? His feelings for Isabella were frightening to him; all he could make sense of was the need to be near her, no matter the cost. But if she wasn’t going to make up her mind, then he didn’t want to continue the game. The bet was back on, because why not?

Her loss, his gain. Or something like that.

As he got himself ready to go to her house—light cologne, dark pants, freshly washed hair—he was humming to himself, mind racing with what he would say to her, how she might respond, where the evening would lead. He was more energetic than normal, bouncing from room to room in his apartment, smiling far more than was common for a regular evening at his house. The excitement that burbled in his belly was spilling out of him, leaving a wake of schoolboy giddiness that made him feel at once embarrassed and even more excited. And he couldn’t stop thinking about the way his skin had lit on fire once she’d pressed herself against him earlier that day. Only a week away from her and it had felt like a year, leaving him craving that touch more than he’d ever thought it was possible to want something in life.

The thought slowed him.
Luke, this is insane. Be real. She’s never gonna be with you. And you’re not fit for a relationship...remember?

He checked his appearance one last time in the mirror before he left the apartment, liking what he saw, knowing that Isabella would like what she saw as well. And he knew that she would look amazing as usual. This was going to be a good night no matter how he looked at it. Bet or not, he was going to spend a night with a smart, fun, seductive
goddess
.