Jackie's Wild Seattle (7 page)

Chemotherapy. Doesn't that mean cancer?

Of course. Of course. It was all starting to make sense. The chemicals in the medicines make your hair fall out. That's why he started shaving his head.

Chemotherapy.
That's what made him so thin, so weak.

“You have damage to tendons and nerves,” the doctor was saying. “That hawk missed the artery feeding your hand, just barely. We can be thankful for that. I'm going to have to put you under, and it's going to be a lengthy operation. No allergies to any anesthesia we might use?”

“Just one question.” Uncle Neal joked. “Who's going to end up with my thumb, you or me?”

I got up quietly. I'd tell the receptionist I couldn't find him. She'd bring me the keys.

Cancer.
Of course. No wonder he doesn't look the same, no wonder he had to give up climbing, no wonder!

Uncle Neal, Uncle Neal…Why didn't you tell us?

It was terrible leaving the hospital without Uncle Neal, but the surgery was going to be long and hard and complicated. After he was out of surgery it was going to take him a while to come out of the anesthesia.

As we started back to the center, Rosie handed me her cell phone and told me to call Jackie, who was on her way back from releasing a spotted owl in the Cascade Mountains. As calmly as I could, I told her what had happened to Uncle Neal. I told her that the hawk was in the van, which was right behind us on the freeway. “Neal wouldn't leave the hawk behind,” I said, “even after it hurt him so bad.”

“That's Neal,” Jackie replied, her voice cracking.

“Actually, he said you'd skin him alive if he left it.”

“That's Neal too. He went up on a slippery roof during a lightning storm once and came down with a redtail. Your uncle claimed I would have wrung his neck if he didn't
rescue it. I just hope everything goes well with his operation. You guys hurry home.”

Rosie's car was awful quiet as she drove north. It was tight with the three of us squeezed in the front, but the closeness felt good. Cody said, “If Dad wasn't in Pakistan he could fix Uncle Neal up. ”

“That's right,” I said. “Dad does that kind of surgery.”

“But he's in Pakistan.”

I hugged my brother. “That's right, Cody. Peshawar, Pakistan. With Mom, doing fine. Helping all those families who live in tents.”

“I'm still mad at that hawk.”

“I know you are. But think how scared the hawk was, hanging upside down in that net. It's such a wild thing, and it was afraid. Not that I'm not mad at it too.”

Rosie gave Cody a pat on the knee. “They'll fix your uncle up just fine.”

I thought, I'm even madder at Uncle Neal for not telling his family he had cancer. First chance I get when it's just the two of us, I'm going to let him have it.

I wanted to talk to Rosie about what she knew about the cancer, what Jackie knew, but not in front of Cody. Now I knew what Jackie had been getting at, that first morning at the center. We were talking about Neal, things my mother didn't know about him. Jackie had looked at me funny and said, “Anything else she doesn't know?”

That's exactly when Jackie figured out that Neal still hadn't told us.

Now I knew why Jackie flinched as we were feeding the baby squirrels, when I asked if Neal had been making night runs with the ambulance even before he was laid off by Boeing. Had he actually been laid off?

It was all coming together, finally. Duh, it had taken me
long enough to figure it out. Boeing started laying workers off soon after the attacks of September 11, when lots of people suddenly stopped flying. The demand for new airplanes was taking a nosedive. After September 11, that's when my mother thought her brother had quit working, but it must have been a month or so before. Neal would have left his job to start the chemotherapy treatments, which were going to make him sick. He was already on medical leave when the World Trade Center and the Pentagon were attacked.

And he hadn't told his sister. That's the part that really got me. He didn't want her to know he had cancer. When Boeing started laying people off, he let his sister think he was unemployed, not sick.

My uncle had told me he wasn't such a great communicator. Well, that was the understatement of the year.

Time dragged. At last we got off the interstate. I wanted to talk with Jackie so bad. Finally Cedar Glen came in sight, and at last the
JACKIE'S WILD SEATTLE
sign. Did everybody at the center but Cody and me know? What kind of cancer was it? One of the really awful kinds?

At last we were back. There was Jackie, waiting in front of the office. We jumped out of Rosie's car and flew toward her. “I just talked to the hospital,” Jackie said. “Neal is still in surgery. We can see him tomorrow morning.”

Jackie's eyes went to the wildlife ambulance pulling in behind us. “I better take care of the hawk,” she said. She kissed each of us on the cheek.

Cody was about to cry. “I'm gonna see Chuckie,” he said, and ran into the clinic.

I grabbed Jackie by the arm. “I need to talk. As soon as you can.”

She saw how intense I was. “Where will you be?”

“In your office. I'm going to check my e-mail.”

I jumped on the computer. Whether or not I'd heard from my parents, I had news to report to them. Uncle Neal news. I'd start with what the hawk did to his thumb, then I'd tell them about the cancer.

I caught myself. It was okay to tell them about the hawk, but the second item, that would be a bombshell, especially for my mother. And I still knew next to nothing, not even what kind of cancer it was.

I typed in my password. I had mail.

It didn't mean I was finally hearing from my parents. I'd been getting e-mails from my friends in Weehawken right along.

This time, I found one from Lisa, one from Rebecca, one from Matt, and then, almost too good to be true, there they were: one-two-three from my parents.

I scanned them as fast as I could to find out if anything was wrong. As far as I could make out, there wasn't. I went back and read every word. The first message, from my mother, said they were fine. Everything was okay. They'd just heard from Doctors Without Borders that we hadn't been getting their messages. They were so sorry. Their palm device had been receiving our messages just fine. One of the doctors being rotated out would send these new ones from Islamabad.

The second message, from my father, told where they actually were:

 

Our camp in the Pakistani desert near Peshawar is called New Jalozai. We can only guess at its population, still tens of thousands. Every day more families leave for Afghanistan even though there is little to go back to
after twenty-four years of war, and the drought hangs on. Next door to us is Old Jalozai with well over a hundred thousand last winter. Your mother and I are in the midst of the greatest refugee crisis in the world—more than a million victims.

I am performing operations in the clinic (such as it is) night and day. As I stumbled back to our tent to sleep this morning I came upon a boy flying a kite above the open sewer that runs through the camp. He smiled at me. There was still a child inside him, still hope, and that was wonderful to see. I have never felt better about being a doctor. Thank you, Shannon, thank you, Cody, for your love and support. Jackie's center sounds fantastic. Have a happy summer with Uncle Neal rescuing the animals. We think of you all the time, we miss you, and we love you. Dad.

 

I was already bawling before I started my mom's next message:

 

Cody, don't worry about our safety. You too, Shannon. People in the camp are so kind. What they went through to get here is nearly beyond belief. In the remote areas of Afghanistan, many died last winter—from cold, disease, and starvation. The food from the relief agencies never got to some of them. They mixed grass with the little flour they had in order to make bread for their children. For years, one out of every four children has been dying before the age of five. The smiles of the kids would break your heart. I am vaccinating against measles and polio, seeing to the women who have been neglected for so long.

We're proud that you are helping your uncle and the wildlife center this summer. You are helping to heal the world. Each of us can only make a small difference but together we can make a big difference. I'm so happy you have this chance to spend “quality time” with Uncle Neal. Be brave, Cody. That little beaver sounds so cool, and good luck with Sage. Don't fret, Shannon, all will be well, I promise. Enjoy your summer, take care of each other. With hugs, love, and kisses to all three of you, Mom.

 

The door opened. It was Jackie. Her eyes were wide, seeing me so emotional. “I finally heard from my parents,” I sobbed. “They're fine, everything's fine.”

I stood up and went to her. She held me and I just kept sobbing.

Jackie stroked my hair and held me close. She said, “I just can't tell you how happy that makes me to hear that.”

I recovered enough to stand back and wipe my eyes. I reached for the tissues on her desk.

“I'm so relieved,” I said. “I'm just so relieved.”

“Do you want to run and get Cody and tell him the news?”

“Not yet,” I said. “First, can we talk about Uncle Neal? Did you know about him having cancer?”

Jackie was taken aback. “So you know…. Yes, I've known it almost a year. Did Tyler tell you?”

I shook my head. “Why did you say that?”

“Well, he knows. I've been half-expecting he'd tell you, or tell Cody.”

“He didn't. I overheard Neal and the doctor talking in the emergency room. But I don't know any more about it. Tell me everything you know.”

“All right, I'll do my best.” Jackie ran her hand through
her gray hair. She looked old and worn-out. “Neal had been real tired for months, but kept thinking it was just the hours he was working—full time at Boeing and weekends here. Then he discovered a lump under his arm, a swelling that didn't go away. When he finally went to the doctor about it, they did some tests and said he had lymphoma, which is cancer of the lymphatic system. They took out some lymph nodes and gave him radiation at the site. Then he had a long course of chemotherapy to attack it wherever it might be spreading through his body. I'm so sorry about this, Shannon. It must be such a terrible shock for you.”

“I just really wish I had known. My mother doesn't even know. Do you realize that?”

Jackie heaved a sigh and nodded.

“I mean, he didn't even tell his sister. Why? Why wouldn't he?”

“Neal hates like the dickens the idea of anybody feeling sorry for him. We both know he isn't so good at sharing his feelings. My guess is he didn't want to tell his sister, didn't want to worry her, until he knew he had the battle won, or knew he'd lost it, for that matter.”

“Then why do people at the center know?”

“We were going to be seeing him every day. With all his doctor's appointments, and the times he'd be sick from the treatments, well, he had to level with us. But he let it be known he didn't want to have to talk about being sick. He's very big on positive thinking, trying only to think about being well.”

I stood there shaking my head. “I can just picture how he got into this situation with me and Cody coming out even though he was sick. When my mother called him a few weeks before school got out, she was all fired up to answer
the call from Doctors Without Borders. Actually, I heard her end of the conversation. She didn't realize I was listening, but I was. She called up Neal all excited for him to say yes. What choice did he have?”

Jackie touched me on the shoulder. “It wasn't only to help out his sister, Shannon. He wanted the time with you and Cody.”

Time,
I thought. Time was the key word, how much of it Uncle Neal might have. This summer, these nine weeks, could be the last time he'd ever see us. I swallowed hard and asked, “How bad is lymphoma?”

“It can be deadly, but it also can be survivable. If it's gonna get you, it usually takes a few years and sometimes a lot more. It's possible to beat it completely, walk away cancer-free.”

Fiercely, I said, “Then that's the way it's going to be.”

“I believe that too. He'll find out shortly after you guys are back home if it's still in his body. Then he'll take it from there. Having you guys here…maybe he was anxious at first about how it would work out, but haven't you noticed what it's done for him? He's crazy about you two. I've known Neal for years, and never seen him happier.”

I started sniffling. “You should have seen him in the van this morning, all hyper, before he got hurt. I just don't know how I feel. I feel too many things at once. A few minutes ago I was so sure I was going to tell him I was mad at him for not telling us.”

“But now you're looking at it from his point of view. If he had told you, what would the summer have been like for you and Cody, for all three of you?”

“So what do I do? Part of me really wants to tell my parents, but I'm already worrying what that will do to them.
Will my mother think she has to come home?”

“Could happen,” Jackie said. “It's not an easy decision. You have a lot to think about. It's your call, Shannon.”

“If I tell Uncle Neal I know, everything will be so different. How will he be able to keep it fun with us, stay positive, concentrate on beating the cancer? What about Cody when he finds out? Cody's going to take it real hard. Nothing will be the same.”

“You don't have to decide right away, or even before you see him at the hospital. This is complicated. Life can be like that. Sometimes it's hard to know the right thing to do, no matter how hard you try. You do your best. Just remember what it's like for your uncle. He has his weaknesses, but he has amazing strengths.”

That's all it took; I started sobbing again. When I got myself together, I said, “At least I understand a few things I didn't before. I understand why you wanted Uncle Neal to move up here with you. It was so you could look after him.”

“The only reason it worked out was because he needed more space for you and Cody.”

“I understand more about him and Liberty, too. That's about
both
of them getting well, isn't it?”

“You're a sharp one, Shannon.”

“I'm dense! I mean, there isn't a hair on his head, and I'm like, ‘Duh!'”

I started laughing. Laughing-crying. “How
is
Liberty?”

“No better. Sooner or later we're going to have to release her to the eagle spirit world.”

“You mean put her down.”

“Put her down. If she doesn't want to live, well, Neal knows it's a matter of weeks, not months. On a happier note, he'll be pleased to hear that the red-tailed hawk you
guys saved today is in perfect condition. She lost two flight feathers but that's no big deal. Cody told me how you cut her loose, and how careful you were with her. We're just about to release her. Come and see.”