Jackal's Dance (32 page)

‘You shouldn't have to pay for us.' An embarrassed Kalila turned to Caitlin. ‘I can let you have my share.'

‘Don't worry about it,' Caitlin assured her. ‘He's always making threats he doesn't carry through.' Inside, she was seething. What a rude, obnoxious, self-important little shit! How did Thea stand him?

As they reached the dining room, Dan arrived with his passengers. All four of them headed for the bar. ‘Billy's on the warpath,' Chester warned.

‘His problem,' Dan responded, driving off towards the workshop.

Gossip at the lodge was a pastime that entertained all the staff, especially if it involved management. Embellishment of even the smallest incident would spread and grow until it became unrecognisable. The African who had taken Thea's suitcase to bungalow six noticed a red mark on her cheek and signs of recent tears. He had been indecently quick to appraise the chef of his observations. The chef, in turn, took it upon himself to tell the recently returned waiters, adding drama as he would spice to a good curry. Thea's absence from the kitchen provided further fuel to an already exaggerated rumour. So when Caitlin stuck her head around the kitchen door, the story she heard bore little resemblance to the few available facts. ‘Too much trouble today. Very bad.'

‘What sort of trouble?'

‘Miss Thea and Mr Billy have big fight. She not coming back. Mr Billy hit her. She too sick to work. Miss Thea cry, cry, cry. She in number six. He try to kill her.'

Knowing how staff stories grew out of all proportion – a bout of flu had once escalated, much to Caitlin's amusement, to her being at death's door with anything from cerebral malaria to blackwater fever – she was inclined to discount most of the detail but was sufficiently troubled to go in search of Thea. Her non-appearance in the kitchen was strange enough to indicate that something was wrong. Coupled with the fact that Billy had seemed particularly disgruntled, Caitlin expected there to be some truth in the kitchen story. She
headed for bungalow six only to bump into Sean on his way to the dining room. ‘Have you heard anything about Thea? I gather she's moved into number six.'

Caitlin was not prepared for the look on Sean's face. It was a combination of guilt, anger and worry. ‘Has she?' he asked quietly. ‘You stay here. I'll go see what's wrong.'

Thea had calmly unpacked her suitcase and was sitting down to try and figure out why, considering the depth of her feelings for Billy as recently as this morning, she now felt so completely composed. There should have been pain but that failed to present itself. Was there relief? No, nothing. She felt nothing. Was it shock? Was she suffering from some kind of mental paralysis? Would emotion eventually break through?

‘Lord, what a day it's been.'

That thought brought a brief chuckle of genuine amusement. Talk about an understatement! She'd finally screwed up enough courage to tell Billy she was pregnant, listened to him when he said he didn't love her, thrown herself at Sean which resulted, not surprisingly, in their having sex, had been discovered in that compromising situation by Billy, listened to more lies from him and then, as cool as you like, walked out of their marriage. And here she was feeling nothing. No. Not quite nothing. Her face hurt.

Thea went to the bathroom and examined her cheeks. There was a faint bruise under one eye.

Oh yes. And don't forget that Sean said he loved me, Billy claimed he once did too, Sean belted Billy, Billy hit me, twice, I should be supervising dinner and I don't give a shit. Thea splashed water on her face, dried it and returned to the bedroom. Now what? Should I go to the dining room? Wouldn't mind a drink actually. The news must be out by now. Jungle drums and all that stuff. No point in hiding here. Billy won't be there. Even if he is, so what? Should I put some make-up on the bruise? To hell with that.

She had just decided to brave the outside world when there was a soft tap at the door. ‘Who is it?'

‘Sean.'

‘Come in. It's not locked.'

He stood in the doorway, his eyes anxiously searching her face. ‘Are you okay?' She looked pale and he could see where Billy had hit her.

Thea shrugged, gave half a laugh, bit her lip and said firmly, ‘Couldn't be better.'

‘Thea?'

She smiled as if to prove it. ‘It's true. I feel nothing at all. That's amazing, don't you think?' Then she stopped. A surge of emotion went off in her chest. It was like a bomb. It hit so hard, and so unexpectedly, that her legs buckled.

Sean lurched forward, caught her as she fell and lowered her to the bed. He realised that she hadn't fainted, simply collapsed. She was struggling against his grip, trying to sit up. ‘Take it easy.'

She pushed him away and sat, waiting for the calm to come back. But it wouldn't. Her ears were
ringing. Nothing was real. Thea heard herself giggle.

‘Thea. Let me in, I want to help you. Talk to me. Say something.'

She pressed fingers tightly against her temple. His voice sounded far away, like she was under water. The ringing in her ears became a roar.

‘Thea, what's going on?'

‘Nothing.' Her voice was wrong, high-pitched and tense. ‘Not a damned thing. My marriage is over. I was unfaithful. I'm pregnant. I'm leaving. Dinner can go to hell. I need a drink. But nothing is happening. How strange.'

He sat next to her, his hands on her arms, his eyes not leaving her face. ‘He hit you, didn't he?'

‘Yes. It doesn't matter. I probably deserved it.' She shook him off. ‘I want a drink.'

‘No you don't,' he said gently. ‘What you need is a hug.'

Thea was completely unaware of the tears running down her face. ‘That sounds nice. Yes, a hug. With a bit of luck, it'll lead precisely to where it did before. Just what I need. A perfect end to the fucking awful day I've had already.' She couldn't see properly, there was something wrong with her eyes. She rubbed at them feeling the wetness on her hands. ‘Oh!'

Sean's arms reached out and he pulled her close. Thea buried her face into him as the sobbing started. She cried for a very long time. When the tears finally subsided, and with her face still against his chest, she murmured, ‘Thank you.' Her voice
had come back to normal. ‘For a moment there I thought I must be going mad.'

Sean's answer was to hug her tighter.

Eventually, she moved and sat up. ‘Nothing like a good cry so they say.'

Her face was blotchy, eyes red, but she had lost the look of blind panic that had taken her close to the edge of hysteria. ‘You shouldn't try to pretend nothing's wrong. That won't help. Let it out, don't bottle it up.'

‘I didn't mean to. I couldn't help it. I felt frozen.'

‘God Thea, I am so sorry. This is my fault. I feel responsible. Saying sorry doesn't cover it. It's pathetically inadequate but I mean it.'

Thea snatched at a tissue from a box beside the bed, blew her nose and turned to look at Sean. ‘The marriage was in trouble anyway. Billy only married me to get this job. Things have been strained between us from the start. He didn't throw me out because of you, if that's what you're thinking. In fact, he asked me to stay. I left because I don't love him any more. That's why I felt so peculiar. I mean, I still loved him this morning. How can something like that just die? Does it mean I didn't ever love him? That all the while I was fooling myself? It felt real enough. It's scary, Sean. How can I trust my feelings in the future?'

Sean was well out of his depth but he knew she wanted an answer. ‘Kick a devoted dog often enough and it will eventually bite you.'

Thea's eyes widened and she snorted out a bark of laughter. ‘Thanks a lot.'

‘I didn't mean –'

His hesitation made the moment. Suddenly, Thea couldn't stop laughing. At first the hilarity seemed forced but in seconds it turned to healthy humour, real mirth. It took several minutes before she could stop. ‘The next time I need advice,' Thea said, dabbing at her eyes, ‘remind me to ask someone else.'

‘I'm not really too good at this. Sorry.'

‘I'm not.

That was a jewel.'

‘Feeling better?'

‘Wrung out. Confused. I don't know. But yes, better. Thanks.'

‘Like you said, it's been a big day.'

Thea smiled slightly. ‘I still want that drink.'

‘Okay. But don't overdo it. There's a lot of pent-up stuff still inside you that will need to come out slowly, not all at once. Now, go wash your face.'

She rose, still smiling, heading towards the bathroom. ‘Yes, Daddy.'

On a bit of a therapeutic roll, Sean added, ‘And don't forget behind your ears.'

Thea paused, turning to look back at him. The expression on her face was one of gratitude and fondness. ‘Thanks, friend.'

He grinned. ‘My pleasure, friend.'

Listening to water splashing, Sean's heart was lighter than at any time since meeting Thea. She had a long way to go, he knew that. He might still lose her. But she was more within reach now, and if he had to, Sean would turn himself inside-out to win her love. ‘Slowly,' he cautioned himself. ‘Go carefully.'

By the time Thea and Sean walked into the bar, Chester and Dan knew she'd moved into a bungalow and a couple of the guests were aware of undercurrents. Everyone tried to act naturally. Thea's confidence fluctuated wildly, and to cover it up, she was trying too hard. All might have been well but for the fact that Billy arrived in the bar a few minutes later.

He had gone from contrite to angry shortly after Thea moved out. Billy felt betrayed and let down, convinced that his wife had ruined everything. Now he needed to take it out on someone. He'd come into the bar to have another go at Caitlin for offering the students a free game drive, but when he saw Thea obviously enjoying herself in Sean Hudson's company, Billy's ire swung back to her. ‘Why aren't you in the kitchen?'

‘Don't feel like it.' The first double scotch hadn't hit the sides and was already providing a sense of confidence and overdone calm not unlike the effect of too many Valium. Thea couldn't have cared less about anything.

‘It's part of your job.'

‘So it is.'

‘Well?'

Billy's eyes bulged when he was angry. She hadn't noticed that before. Highly unattractive. ‘Chef will have to cope without me. I'm having a night off.'

Billy glanced quickly round the crowded bar. The lodge's excellent cook was noted for a tendency to lose it if diners exceeded ten in number. ‘Caitlin, would you mind?'

‘Yes I would, actually. I'm a ranger, not your bloody flunky.' Her voice remained quiet but there was no mistaking that she meant business.

Billy's face became thunderous. ‘Someone has to supervise the staff.'

‘You're the boss. You do it.' Caitlin turned her back on him.

Thea giggled and downed half her second drink.

Sean extended a hand, a small shake of his head warning her not to drink so fast. Billy saw the gesture. ‘Didn't take you long to step into my shoes,' he hissed quietly. Not quietly enough. ‘Oh, of course, I forgot, you were wearing them this afternoon.'

Felicity and Philip, standing nearby, heard. The look that passed between them was loud and clear. ‘Trouble brewing.' Not wishing to eavesdrop, both moved away.

‘Shut it,' Dan warned. ‘Now is not the time for this.'

‘You have no idea –' Billy began.

‘No, I don't. Nor do I wish to have. Keep it down or get out.'

Billy started to say more but was conscious that several guests were now eyeing the group of rangers with more than a passing interest. Locking eyes with Thea, then Dan and finally Sean, he saw that no-one was going to offer assistance. Turning, Billy made his way through the dining room to the kitchen. But the damage was done. Thea's bravado collapsed.

The embarrassed silence that followed was broken by Sean. ‘Thea and Billy have separated. They're both upset.'

Caitlin touched Thea on the arm. ‘If you need to talk, I'm here, okay?'

Thea nodded. ‘Thanks.'

‘Do you want to stay?'

‘I don't know.'

Caitlin tucked an arm through one of Thea's. ‘Would it help if we circulated? You know, get your mind off it?'

‘No more drinks,' Sean warned.

Thea gave a short laugh. ‘In my condition, you mean? Don't worry, the marriage might be over but this pregnancy is only just beginning.' She could hear the bitterness in her own words.

‘Oh Jesus!' Caitlin squeezed Thea's arm. ‘You poor wee lamb.'

Dan saw the desperation on Thea's face. The girl was one step away from breaking down. She was trying to hold on but needing to let go. And, if what she'd just said about being pregnant was true, drinking herself into oblivion wouldn't exactly help. She needed to download, but not that way. Caitlin or Sean were the obvious choices to provide company – Thea shouldn't be on her own at the moment – but by the sounds of it, Sean might also be a bad idea.

The problem was unexpectedly solved by Gayle. She and Matt were close enough to have heard every word and Gayle couldn't help but notice the rangers' concern for Thea. Selfish and
demanding as the actress could be, Gayle didn't get where she was without possessing a great deal of sensitivity. And while her perceptiveness usually restricted itself to matters personal, she was not above lending it out. The occasions were rare and no-one, not even Gayle, could have said what triggered a desire to help others. Had she been interested enough to look for a reason, Gayle might have been surprised to discover that the one common denominator was another's vulnerability. When she sensed hurt to match her own, Gayle could sometimes astonish even herself with her willingness to assist. Not always. She had to like that person and needed the reassurance that the feeling was mutual. Thea had impressed Gayle on first meeting. With a muttered, ‘Bring us both some food will you, Mattie?' she stepped forward into the ring of people around her. ‘Darling, there you are. Now you did say if there was anything I needed I just had to ask. Would you come with me?' Without waiting for Thea to respond, Gayle extricated the girl from Caitlin's supporting grasp and waltzed her away from the bar. It was done with such finesse that Caitlin simply let it happen.