JACK KNIFED (5 page)

Guard The Door, George

Jack lay on his back on the floor and tried to let everything go. He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing. The rise and fall of his chest slowed as he imagined himself sinking into the floor. His muscles relaxed, and he finally drifted into sleep.

When Jack opened his eyes and looked around the room, it was a motel room but not the inn. It was the kind of motel he and his mother “lived in” when he was little. He looked down at his hands, and when he saw the Curious George doll clutched in them, he knew he must be dreaming. He hadn’t seen that doll since he was five.

Jack set the doll down on the stained couch next to the front door and stared at the dangling chain.

I remember this. This room. This…

Jack could feel his heartbeat speed up. His breath came in little panicked puffs and his throat hurt. Fear seized him, and the nightmare ripped him back to that place, that time, and those feelings.

He began to shake.

I can’t lock the door, or she’ll be mad.

His grumbling stomach made him turn and run back to the bathroom. The hot water in the sink was running. He grabbed the empty motel ice bucket and poured the last of the pasta in. He carefully covered his meal with hot water and shut off the faucet.

I have to let it get mushy.

Jack carefully set down the bucket and watched it. It was the last of the food in the motel room and, even though he was starving, he was scared to eat it.

What if she doesn’t come back? What if she left me like she said she should? What’ll I eat next? I can’t leave the room, and there’s nothing else to eat.

He rubbed his fingers through his hair and fought back tears of frustration. He stood up and pressed his back into the wall. He was almost panting and, when he looked down at his stomach, it seemed to leap with each terrified gulp of air. He closed his eyes and pounded his own leg.

Jack waited until the pasta was mushy and poured the water out. It was very chewy and bland, but he forced himself to eat all of it and drink lots of water when he did. As he finished another glass, he groaned.

I have to make sure I go pee a lot before bed. She just gave me my blanket back after my last accident.

When he finished, he darted out of the bathroom and stopped. The room got darker. He looked up and George was gone from watching the door. A little girl sat on the couch and stared at him. Somehow, he knew she was waiting for his answer, but he didn’t know the question. He didn’t know the girl, either. She was small and had big blue eyes. Her blond hair was very dirty, but she had a bright pink ribbon in it.

“I’m five.” He held his hand out, but she didn’t smile.

She just waited and stared at him.

Jack closed his eyes, but when he opened them, he was back in the institution. It was the room where he’d met his mother. The little girl sat across the table and stared at him.

“Are you looking?” she whispered.

“For what?”

“You don’t get it, do you?” She tilted her head and swung her legs.

“Don’t get what?” Jack slammed his hand down on the table, and then stared at his own hand in shock. It had changed. He wasn’t five anymore, but grown.

When he looked up, the little girl held her arms against her chest and her lip trembled.

“Kid…don’t cry.”

“I’m five.” She held up her hand.

Jack smiled. “What’s your name?”

“Patty.”

Jack’s eyes flew open, and he rolled over on the floor and found himself staring at the ceiling. He rubbed his throat and gulped for air as he fought to get control of his breathing. He knew the end of his dream wasn’t real, but he remembered the pasta. His mother had been gone for six days, but when she came home, she acted as if she’d only gone out to the store.

From the amount of light coming in the window, he hoped it was past seven. He closed his eyes and lay there, listening for Replacement. He thought she was awake but he hoped he might get some more sleep. He’d gotten an hour, tops. Replacement sprang out of bed and stepped on his stomach. When Jack groaned, she screamed and hopped back into bed.

“Thanks,” he grumbled.

Replacement stuck her head over the side of the bed. Her green eyes were wide, and she scrunched up her face. “Did you sleep on the floor?”

“No.”

She tilted her head to the other side. “You’re on the floor with blankets.”

“I didn’t sleep.”

“I did. This bed is super soft.” She disappeared from sight.

Jack groaned and got up. “I already took a shower. Let’s go down to breakfast and then head to the library.”

“You took a shower at night?” she asked.

“I thought it would help me sleep.”

“What’s at the library?”

“It’s the place with books.” Jack smirked.

“I know
what
a library is.” Replacement bounded out of the bed and raced to the closet. “I don’t know
why
you want to go there.” She yanked open the door, reached into the closet, and pulled out the brown dress with the white trim. “Can I wear this?” She clutched it to her body and twirled back and forth.

“We’re going to the library,” Jack began, but when Replacement’s smile collapsed into a frown, he quickly scrambled for words. “And I thought…you’d save that for dinner.”

Replacement’s smile exploded back on her face. She carefully hung the dress up and danced over to the bureau.

Boom. Nice save.

Jack stood there for several minutes while she picked up one outfit after the other and set them back down.

You have only five outfits to pick from, so pick one.
Jack wanted to scream, but instead he sat down on the bed and waited. She finally settled on a blouse and a pair of jeans and then skipped into the bathroom.

Jack lay back on the bed.

Mistake.

He let out a little moan. The bed was incredibly soft. He relaxed and let his hands roll out at his side. He inhaled deeply. The comforter’s smell was familiar, but he couldn’t place it. It smelled like spring. It wasn’t an artificial scent like detergent or soap; it actually smelled like a warm spring day. He breathed in deeply and shut his eyes.

“Do you want to keep sleeping?” Replacement asked.

Jack’s eyes fluttered open. Replacement was dressed but knelt on the bed next to him.

“I fell asleep.” He shook his head and sat up.

“Only for a second. Isn’t this bed the best?” She let herself fall forward and landed with a giggle.

“This bed rocks,” he said.

“You can sleep if you want.”

“No. No.” Jack forced himself up. “I want to get to the library. Let’s go.”

Jack stretched as he headed for the door, and Replacement raced past him. He couldn’t help but smirk.

Poor Aunt Haddie. That kid must have been a handful.

Replacement disappeared down the stairs, but Jack took his time. His mood changed on a dime and went straight to grim. He could almost feel the darkness inside him straining to get out. When his mother left him, he didn’t deal with it well, according to all his therapists and ex-girlfriends. All the hurt, pain, and anger were like a beast that constantly attacked him and ripped him to pieces. He tried, but he couldn’t wipe it out and he couldn’t make it go away, so he dealt with the beast the only way he knew how: he caged it. He couldn’t kill it, so he hid it away, building up layers and barriers as he vainly tried to bury it.

Jack stopped at the top of the stairs and gripped the railing. Now the beast had broken free. His control over his emotions had gone off the rails. The beast was loose inside and rampaging.

Why the hell am I here? I never should have come looking for her. She’s freaking crazy. Is that why I’m so screwed up? Can you inherit crazy? My father must have been insane too. Who’d have gone out with a girl like that?

“Mr. Stratton?” The innkeeper softly touched his arm, and his eyes flashed open.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled as he tried to get control of himself.

The expression on her face changed from slightly concerned to fearful as she looked at him. Jack tried to smile, but his rage still burned.

“I’m sorry. Excuse me.” He turned and hurried down the stairs.

He took a right at the front desk and hurried over to the large room with four, small, round tables and chairs set for breakfast. Jack stood in the doorway, but Replacement was nowhere to be seen. A young couple sat at the first table to the left. They were so close together, they were practically sitting in each other’s laps. They were in their early twenties, and the girl kept her hand on the boy’s thigh as they talked and stared into each other’s eyes.

An open doorway was at the end of the room, on the right wall, and Jack assumed that was where the food was, confirmed by Replacement’s appearance. She slowly walked into view, with both hands carefully holding a huge breakfast plate, supporting a mountain of food. She looked up at him and grinned as if she’d caught a prizewinning fish. Jack motioned to the table nearest her, and they both sat down.

“You won’t believe how much food they have in there,” she gushed.

“Is there any left?”

“Tons. Pray. I can’t wait to try this.”

Jack bowed his head but sat there for a moment. “God…I…help me figure this out.”

“That prayer stinks,” Replacement mumbled as she took a gigantic bite of eggs.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to rate prayers.”

Replacement moaned. “These eggs are so good. Why can’t you rate a prayer? Help you? Is God your assistant?” She shoved another large forkful into her mouth.

“I didn’t mean it that way. I asked for help.”

“You should say something like: ‘God, show me the way.’ You’re just a tool that He’ll use. And, you didn’t say in Jesus’s name. I always end my prayers like that. I read it. ‘Ask anything in my name.’ That’s what Jesus told the disciples. Try this.”

She stuck a slab of buttered brown bread into his mouth. His eyes flashed in anger, but then he tasted it. The bread was delicious, and the butter had just a hint of honey. Jack’s eyes glassed over, his mouth watered, and Replacement nodded knowingly.

“It rocks, huh?” She smiled from ear to ear. “Aren’t you going to get a plate?”

Jack laughed. “I thought you got enough for both of us.”

Replacement ate with her arm on the table, and she pulled the plate closer to herself. “I wanted to try everything.”

“You can keep going up.” Jack suppressed another laugh at Replacement’s shocked expression.

Her frown quickly flipped to a huge grin. “Okay. Help with this, and I’ll go for seconds.”

Jack wanted more of the brown bread but she’d already finished it off. He grabbed a fork and took a bite of some pancakes. He almost dropped the fork; they were the best pancakes he’d ever tried.

“Is everything to your liking?” Ms. Foster, the hostess from the front desk, appeared at his side.

He looked up at her and gave a shy nod. Her graceful, floral dress had a slight scent of spring, and Jack leaned closer to her.

“This food is unbelievable.” Replacement held up a forkful of what Jack supposed was an omelet.

“Thank you. We try our best to adhere to tradition, and all of the recipes and ingredients are historically accurate.”

“The pancakes are the best I’ve ever had.” Jack shifted in his seat.

“They’re made with low-hanging blueberries. They just came into season. They tap the syrup on the farm down the road. Did you sleep well last night?”

“I did. That bed is so soft I could sleep all day. Jack slept on—” Replacement winced as Jack stepped on her foot.

“It was fine, thank you.” Jack forced a smile.

The woman smiled but raised an eyebrow slightly. “If you need any information regarding the town or areas of interest, I’d be happy to be of service.”

“Thank you.” Jack couldn’t help but stand up. It somehow felt wrong to stay seated with her standing there. “We did want to stop by the library. Could you give us directions?”