Jack Glass: The Story of a Murderer (37 page)

She was a very elderly individual; her close-trimmed hair was a pattern of white dots over dark brown scalp, her limbs long and spindle thin, her skin marked with interconnected patterns of
lines, swirls and grooves like a magnified image of a fingerprint. It had evidently been a very long time, if ever, since she had spent time at the bottom of any gravity well. Her nose was a rather
magnificent horn-shaped appendage, downward curving, and marred only by an oval area of pinkness where (a common sight in the uplands) a tumour had at some point in the past been cut away. But it
was her eyes that held your attention. Though countersunk into the head, and surrounded by dark, puckered skin, they possessed a fierce, almost immortal brightness – proper ancient mariner
eyes.

‘Aishwarya,’ said Iago. ‘I wanted to introduce you to Diana, here. She is the first person I have met in many decades who may be cleverer than you.’

Aishwarya pulled a sour face. ‘Her? She’s a mayfly. How old are you, sweetpea?’

‘Sixteen,’ said Diana.

‘True wisdom comes with age, my darling, and – oh! oho! Wait. You are Diana
Argent
?’

Dia looked to Iago first, but answered: ‘I am.’

‘Good gracious! I forgive you, Jack Glass, for bothering me, since you have introduced me to such a human being! And you? Her servant?’

‘My name is Sapho,’ said Sapho, a little fiercely.

‘I see.
Not
a servant?’

‘Sapho hasn’t been taking her CRFs for some months now,’ said Iago. ‘Not since we all had to leave Earth in, uh, a hurry. But she’s still loyal to the Argent Clan.
Aren’t you?’

‘Of course,’ Sapho said, grumpily.

‘CRF withdrawal has a
complex
of emotional effects,’ said the old woman knowingly. ‘Still, you’re better off without those pharmakons in your system, my dear. They
blunt your initiative. And we all need our initiative, don’t we? We’re all living through interesting times, after all.’

‘They certainly seem to think so,’ said Iago, gesturing with his thumb behind him.

This appeared only to annoy Aishwarya. ‘
Such
idiots. I don’t mind idiots, generally; but they have to be so extreme about it! They will bring destruction down upon us all. I
have a sloop ready to run at the first sniff of a police craft.’

‘You think it will come to that?’

The old woman sniffed. ‘Maybe not. But they are
such
idiots! Now that they’re drunk, they think the time for revolution has arrived. When they sober up tomorrow they’ll
go back to whining and stealing from their neighbours – not that there’s anything worth stealing. A life of pointless gang squabbles and living like beasts. I spent a week growing some
special tomatoes, last month, and a group of teenagers smashed them! They didn’t even steal them and eat them! Or steal them and sell them back to me, like smart little gangsters! They just
smashed them up for the hell of it.’

‘Poverty degrades people, that’s true,’ said Iago. ‘But perhaps we should at least
consider
that they may be right about one thing.’

‘What one thing?’

‘Timing. Maybe it is time for revolution.’

She snorted. ‘Of course it isn’t! What, you think the present political
instabilities
could help germinate actual System-wide revolt? No, no. What we are witnessing is –
saving your presence, my dear – one of the occasional pecking-order struggles that
defines
the hierarchy. The twin heads of the Argent Clan have gone into hiding; one of the heirs is
who-knows-where, the other is . . . here, directly in front of my own eyes, bless me! Of course the other MOHhouses are – what’s the phrase? Jockeying for position. Of
course
the
Ulanovs are throwing their weight around. It’s not
revolution
. It’s business as usual. But those idiots – they think Mithras is about to manifest himself and lead a
wildfire revolt across the whole System!’

A flock of duck chose that moment to dash away, squealing and parping and flurrying as they wagged their wings in a curious series of motions to move through the weightless air. They leapt from
the walls of the world near where Aishwarya was standing, flew cumbrously through the middle of the globe and landed on the far side.

The bubble’s scrubbers were designed to resemble little model trees and bushes. Sections of the globe were planted with toy forests. Broccoli clumps of green and yellow. Ash, oak,
simul-tree, tree ferns of an unnatural, bright, plastic green.

‘And there was me thinking you were a devotee,’ said Iago. ‘I’m sure you
used
to be.’

‘Of
Mithras
?’ she shrieked, slapping at Iago’s chest with her hands and lurching half-a-metre backwards herself in equal-and-opposite motion. Without looking round, she
found a foothold on a guy-wire, and pushed herself back. ‘Don’t insult me, Jack Glass. You know I follow Christ the Hindu.’

‘Isn’t that the same fellow?’ It was only at this point that Diana realised Iago was deliberately teasing the old woman.

‘That’s tantamount to blas
phemious
blasphemy,’ cackled Aishwarya. ‘Those Mithras fools don’t even
know
their history! They think the Romans were
democrats! They cite the Roman senate as one of their models . . . as if anybody
voted
for Roman senators! But they have to do the doublethink they do, because Mithras was originally a Roman
god, you know. Christ knew otherwise: he fought the Romans, because they were the Ulanovs of their day. Christ knew that true democracy begins with the democracy of the spirit, and spreads outward
in communist apostledom. Christ organises a properly democratic congress of all three hundred and thirty million gods!’

‘Very good,’ said Iago. ‘Though
they’re
the ones having the party.’

‘They ought to be more careful,’ was Sapho’s opinion. ‘Worship of Mithras is proscribed.’

‘Oh they know it, I know it’ said Aishwarya. ‘Everybody knows it. They think they don’t have to keep it hidden any longer. OHOV is not an illegal chant – only
because the Ulanovs don’t know what it means – but the ones shouting “Mithras, Mithras, Mithras” are just getting carried away. Well, we shall have to hope the police are
too busy with other things to come and break up this riotous assembly. You expect me to invite you both into my hut?’

‘Yes,’ said Iago.

‘Well I won’t. I didn’t ask you to come here. You just turned up. What do you want?’

Diana looked to Iago again, but he was smiling. ‘This is a RACdroid,’ he said.

‘I can see it’s a RACdroid,’ barked Aishwarya, slapping him again on his shoulder so hard she knocked him through a quarter turn and he had to reorient himself. ‘You ride
on a pale horse, Jack Glass, and death comes with you. Why are you bringing a RACdroid to me? You don’t wish to affirm a contract, I suppose.’

‘It may be a rogue,’ said Diana. ‘Its seals
seem
to be in order – though I’m no expert. But its data is all jumbled.’

‘I need to know if its seals are indeed in order,’ said Iago.

‘Oho!’ said Aishwarya, who found this last statement oddly hilarious. ‘And you can’t simply take it to the authorities! Oh! Oho!’ She laughed to herself for a
while. ‘Well, well, I can have a look. What will you pay?’

‘What will you charge?’

‘Hundred credits.’

‘Eighty.’

‘Ninety,’ said the old woman. ‘Tampering with a RACdroid’s a serious offence under the Lex.’

‘We’re not asking you to tamper with it – just check its seals.’

‘Quibbles! I’m not an authorised RACdroid agent under the law, and you’re asking me to do something illegal.’

‘Listen to that chanting,’ Iago observed. ‘They are literally fomenting revolution next door. And you’re worried about performing an illegal RACdroid examination? Eighty
credits.’

‘Eighty five.’

‘Eighty,’ repeated Iago.

For a brief moment, a demon of fury passed visible across the old woman’s face. ‘May the Mahadeva Jesus Christ rain
destruction
upon your wicked head, Jack Glass, for cheating
an old woman of five credits!’ But an instant later the rage had passed entirely away, and she was smiling again. ‘Eighty it is,’ she said, blithely. ‘Come along
then.’

Aishwarya led them, and the RACdroid, over towards a hut. She disappeared inside, reappearing a moment later with a glove on her right hand. With this she began fondling the
device. It observed her with its impassive exhaustless machine patience. ‘Seals seem alright,’ she said. ‘Kosher machine. The real thing. Oh! I see that
this
RACdroid
belongs to the celebrated Bar-le-duc.’

‘You know him?’ Diana asked.

‘Of course I do! He’s the most famous of the Ulanovs’ senior policemen! Ah but you mean, do I know him
personally
? And actually, and oddly enough, he was here a few days
ago. Nevertheless you should ask your companion. Bar-le-duc is an old friend of yours, isn’t he, Jack Glass? So you have his RACdroid. How is Bar?’

‘Dead,’ said Iago.

The smile went from Aishwarya’s face. ‘Really?’

‘Yes.’

‘When?’

‘Two days ago. And since you want to know how, I shall tell you. He was cut in half.’

‘He was
cut in half
?’ repeated Aishwarya. When she frowned, as she was now doing, adding wrinkles to wrinkles, her eyes almost entirely disappeared into her head.

‘Vaporised. Smashed to atoms. He was shot with an impossible gun.’

The old woman thought about this. ‘What do you mean, Jack Glass, when you say an impossible gun?’

‘A projectile weapon of some kind,’ said Diana. ‘Except that the projectile vanished. Impossibly.’

‘Or else the
shooter
did,’ said Iago. ‘It is fair to say that the circumstances of his death are – mysterious. This is one reason why we need to access the data
contained inside this RACdroid. It was there. It was a witness.’

‘But –
murder
?’ breathed Aishwarya.

‘Yes, the murder. But something else,’ said Iago. ‘Before Bar-le-duc was killed, he and I agreed a contract. A legally binding contract. That was why he brought the RACdroid
along – to affirm it. The contract guaranteed the immunity from prosecution of my companion, Diana here. I’d like to make sure that that contract still holds.’

‘Did he have the authority to make such a deal?’ Aishwarya asked, in an amazed voice.

‘He had the Ulanovs’ direct authority.’

‘Gracious me. Saraswati protect me. And he came here! A week ago! He was floating right where you are! It’s a good job those fools weren’t chanting
“Mithras-Mithras”
then
, since I now see he must have been on the Ulanovs’ official business!’

‘Why did he come here?’ Iago asked.

‘He was looking for you, Jack Glass.’

‘Did you tell him where to find me?’

‘I did not! The idea! How would I
know
? But he found you anyway, I guess.’

‘Of all the places in the System to visit,’ said Iago, wrinkle-browed. ‘Of all the gin joints.
This
one? And then – straight to my house? It’s fishy, you
must agree.’

‘I must nothing. I suppose he was following the trail. I guess he was visiting your old friends,’ said Aishwarya with a shrug.

‘I have lots of old friends,’ said Iago; ‘and they’re well scattered.’

‘And now he’s dead,’ said Aishwarya. ‘Truly, death follows where you travel, Jack Glass.’

‘Oh, but
Jack
didn’t kill him,’ said Diana. ‘He was standing right next to me when it happened. The RACdroid was there too: you can see, in the datapool, the three
of us standing together. We were both sprayed with his blood. Whoever fired the fatal shot must have had
all
of us in her sights. But she chose to kill only Bar-le-duc.’

‘She?’

‘Or he, of course.’

‘Why?’

‘I don’t know,’ said Diana. ‘And we don’t know who she or he was – or for whom they were working. Naturally, we analysed the open RACdroid’s datapool,
hoping it would provide us with clues. But it only made things more confusing. Specifically, its data seems to be corrupted. But how can its data be corrupted if its seals are kosher? Could it be a
production flaw?’

‘If its seals
are
kosher,’ said Iago, ‘then at least its testimony will stand up in court. At least the contract will still hold. Although I suppose the court may be
confused by what it says.’

‘After what fashion is its data corrupt?’ asked Aishwarya.

‘It gets the order of things . . . wrong,’ said Iago.

‘You mean its records disagree with what you recall?’ said Aishwarya. ‘In that case, I’d respectfully suggest it is your memory that is at fault.’

‘Its records disagree with the laws of physics and causality,’ said Iago. ‘But that’s the least of it, really. The whole thing is an imposs-i-
bility
. Bar-le-duc
died inside a sealed bubble, a small home-sphere – in fact, my own house. Whoever killed him must have been inside that sphere when they committed the crime. There was no way they could have
got out of the sphere after the crime. It’s a small bubble, with only one airlock. The RACdroid had it in view the whole time, and nobody left through it. There are no other exits from the
house, and the skin of the bubble remains intact. Accordingly, whoever killed Bar-le-duc must still have been there
after
the crime. But we searched that bubble very thoroughly, and there
was nobody there. It’s like the murderer vanished into thin air.’

‘A locked-room mystery,’ said Aishwarya, nodding. She frowned deeply, and then smiled brightly. ‘Oh I’m
sorry
for old Bar-le-duc! Though I remind myself that he
devoted his life to working for the Ulanovs! And that fact makes me a little bit less sorry, and a little bit more glad. Still, it would be good to know who killed him.’

‘Of course,’ agreed Iago. ‘It is a particularly puzzling mystery. More puzzling still if the data of this RACdroid is to be believed.’

‘This RACdroid is no rogue,’ said Aishwarya. ‘I’ll double-check the seals, of course, but I’m telling you now, it’s a kosher machine. We can review the data
together, if you like. Diana Argent, upon my soul! Here in my very own front yard. So sweetpea: Jack Glass once called me the cleverest woman in the System, and now he says that
you’re
cleverer. Well: don’t you think between us we can get to the bottom of this?’