Jack Chiltern's Wife (1999) (17 page)

It would serve him right if she turned him down.

K
itty was exhausted, mentally and physically. She lay on the hard bed, her head buzzing with everything that had happened to her since her precipitous and unthinking flight from the rectory: the poverty and dirt and, worst of all, Judith’s death, which had robbed her of a good friend as well as a chaperon, and now a proposal of marriage which, as Jack had pointed out, was far from romantic.

Just how much did it mean to him? It seemed extraordinary that he should be prepared to sacrifice his future happiness, perhaps even his inheritance, for her sake. He did not even like her; he found her a nuisance, a responsibility he would rather be without.

She could not forget what Nanette had told her about how Jack behaved towards Gabrielle, how close they had been, how he had done all he could to please her. It was almost as if she were talking about another man, not the Jack she knew. Could the loss of his wife have changed him so much, that he was harsh and uncaring about every other woman he met?

And yet he had offered to marry her, to try and mitigate the scandal. He was so deeply immersed in his grief for his wife that he did not consider it much of a sacrifice. But she did. She must say no. She must take the consequences of her own actions and face the shame when they returned to England.

But, oh, how she loved him! She knew that beneath that harsh exterior there was a man who could feel deeply, who could put someone else before himself, who was honourable. After all, there had been countless occasions when he could have forced himself on her and had not. She smiled wryly to herself in the darkness—not much force would have been needed because she loved and wanted him.

His touch, however fleeting, sent shivers down her spine, and she longed to dispel that look of pain she sometimes saw in his eyes. Could she make him forget Gabrielle with her own love? Could she make him love again?

If she said yes, then it would be a genuine commitment on her part to make the marriage work and hope that in time he would come to love her. If she failed, if he continued to be cold and hard, then she would be trapped in a loveless union because she would not go into marriage with the intention of ending it if it went wrong. Dare she chance it?

She fell asleep, dreaming of pale English skies, of gentle rain in summer, of the peaceful countryside and the placid pattern of life there, of friends and family. If she could find that again, she would never again long for adventure.

She woke suddenly before dawn to the sound of horses and voices. Scrambling from her bed, she hurried to the tiny dormer window, but it was in the slope of the roof and she could see nothing. She turned back, pulled on her clothes and crept down the stairs. Jack was fast asleep in a chair at the table, his head on his folded arms. She shook him. ‘Jack, someone’s coming.’

He was awake in an instant and on his feet. ‘Stay there.’

He went outside. She could hear voices and then laughter and the next moment the tiny room was full of people: Jack and Captain Trent and a man she had not seen before, besides Nanette, who was hanging onto the hand of another young man.

‘James,’ Kitty cried, flinging herself at her brother. ‘You’re safe.’

‘Of course I’m safe, silly.’ He grinned at her and held her at arm’s length. ‘My, how you’ve grown! If you didn’t look so horribly like a peasant, I’d say quite the lady.’

‘The disguise was necessary,’ Jack said, defending her. ‘But you may take my word for it, she is quite the lady.’

James turned to him. ‘And are you going to make an honest one of her?’

‘James!’ Kitty remonstrated. ‘Don’t be so tactless.’

‘Sorry,’ he said quickly. ‘But it is better to be blunt, don’t you think?’

‘It is none of your business.’

‘Oh, but it is. I am your brother and in the absence of our guardian …’

‘Shut up, James,’ Jack said sharply. ‘Kitty left home because she did not want to be forced into a marriage and here you are, only five minutes reunited, trying to do the same. Let her make up her own mind.’

‘Well, she had better make haste. The Marquis has betrayed us all …’

‘My uncle? I can’t believe that.’

‘He has,’ Nanette put in. ‘The guards came back and I heard him talking to them. They seemed to know you were in France. It had something to do with the
comte’
s carriage and knowing we were related …’ She paused. ‘Papa told them all about Jacques Faucon and what James was doing, everything. He did not need to, he could have pleaded ignorance.’

‘Have they arrested him?’

‘No, because he convinced them he intended to hand you over. He told them they could find you at Malincourt.’

‘But we are not at Malincourt,’ Kitty said.

‘We are not far from it,’ Jack said. ‘We had better make a move.’

‘We have time for a wedding,’ James said, nodding towards the fourth man. ‘The
curé
is prepared to conduct the ceremony.’

‘You take too much upon yourself,’ Kitty said. ‘I have not agreed.’

‘You may do as you please,’ James said. ‘But I do not intend to stir unless Nanette and I are married. Not for the world would I expose her to the kind of scandal you will be subjected to if you return to England unwed.’

‘Oh, I am sorry, I did not think of that.’

‘No, that is just your trouble,’ her brother said. ‘You never stop to think—’

‘And you always consider the consequences of your actions, do you?’

‘Children! Children!’ Jack laughed. ‘Do not quarrel over it, for I declare you are as bad as one another.’ He turned to Nanette. ‘Is it your wish to marry James?’

‘Yes, it is.’

‘It means leaving your parents and your home. You may not see them again for a very long time …’

‘I know, but Papa betrayed James and you and Kitty, who is so brave to follow her heart. Even if he is afraid to lose his house and lands as the
comte
de Malincourt did, it is no excuse. You are my cousin and James is my own true love. I have aligned myself with you.’

‘So be it.’ Jack turned to the priest. ‘Will you marry the young couple?’

‘With pleasure,
monsieur
.’ He smiled and corrected himself. ‘I mean,
citoyen
.’ He opened a canvas bag he carried with him and began to take out his vestments.

‘Can it be done here?’ Kitty asked. ‘Will it be legal?’

‘The place is unimportant,
citoyenne
,’ the
curé
said. ‘It is as binding as a marriage solemnized in church. And as I now have no church, I must serve my God and my people wherever I can.’

Jack took Kitty’s hand. ‘Well, my dear, do we follow their example?’

She looked up into his face and it seemed as though there was a new softness there. His eyes were searching hers, asking for understanding, and her heart swelled with love. She wanted it, wanted it in spite of all the arguments against it. Arguments did not count. Risks did not count. What mattered was what she felt deep inside her. There was no doubt there. He had said love conquers all and, though he had been teasing as usual, she had a feeling he did believe it. She must put her faith in that.

‘You really mean it?’ she asked.

‘I do not say things I do not mean.’

‘Then tell the priest to make it a double wedding.’

It was far from the wedding of her dreams. She was not in her uncle’s church with its high-vaulted roof and multi-coloured altar window. She was not wearing a lavish gown and costly jewels loaned to her, or perhaps even gifted to her, by her grandfather. There were no flowers, although the priest had brought out some incense and the tiny room was filled with its heady scent, almost overwhelming her. And the ring Jack slipped on her finger was his signet ring and much too big. But none of that mattered because she was giving herself to the man she loved.

He kissed her when it was all over, kissed her for the first time as her husband, and it was a joyful and sensuous sensation, but a little constrained by the knowledge that they were being watched. She did not care. They had the rest of their lives together. He might talk of annulment, but she would never ask for it. As far as she was concerned, this marriage was going to last into eternity.

There was time for nothing else. The
curé
packed up his bag and departed, riding an ancient mule. The horse was reharnessed to the cart which had brought Kitty from the prison and brought to the door. Kitty and Nanette said goodbye to the Captain who
was staying behind, then climbed into the back with their meagre luggage and a parcel of food.

Jack and James, who had remained behind in the cottage, reappeared in the uniform of French cavalry officers, resplendent in dark blue double-breasted jackets with rows and rows of silver frogging and heavy silver-fringed epaulettes. Their breeches, tucked into shining leather boots, were tightly fitting and set off muscular thighs. They each wore a sword belt and a pistol and a shako with the regimental insignia on the front. The girls gaped at them and then began to laugh.

‘Oh, you are the very top of the trees,’ Kitty said. ‘The handsomest of heroes.’

‘Vraiment épatant
,’ Nanette said, giggling. ‘Truly stunning.
Magnifique
. I am overcome with admiration.’

James grinned and punched Jack on the arm. ‘There, my friend! We have made a conquest each.’

Jack smiled and made no comment as he shook the roadmender by the hand and took his place on the driving seat. Laughing, James climbed up beside him and they were off.

Thus they journeyed the whole of the day, taking byroads and cart tracks. Sometimes Nanette sat beside James while he drove and Jack joined Kitty in the cart, sometimes she sat with Jack on the driving seat. Sometimes they walked.

In some ways it was like their journey from Paris except that she had been reunited with her brother and, what was more important, she need no longer worry about the impropriety of sharing this strange nomadic life with Jack. He was truly her husband now. She began to look forward to the night with a mixture of trepidation and eager anticipation.

They passed through the ancient Roman town of Vienne without stopping and by dusk had reached Roussillon where they drew up outside an inn. It seemed untouched by either the Revolution or the war, but they all knew appearances could be deceptive and were on their guard.

Going ahead of the others to reconnoitre, Jack approached the inn with caution. If anyone asked their business, they had agreed to say they were going to Toulon. The men were going to rejoin their regiment defending the city against the British navy and their wives had every intention of following them. Once there, they could discard the uniforms and make contact with the men who could take them out to the British fleet.

The innkeeper welcomed them if only because they paid him with a gold
louis d’or
, the equivalent of two English sovereigns, and far more acceptable than the paper
assignat
. He prepared his two best rooms and produced a meal of chicken and fish, with leeks and potatoes, a basket of fruit and a bottle of wine. There were no other guests and they sat over the repast for two hours, but Kitty could see that James was wriggling with impatience to have Nanette to himself; in the end, he could contain himself no longer.

‘We have an early start tomorrow,’ he said, smiling at his wife. ‘I think it is time to retire.’

She rose willingly and took his hand. Jack, too, was on his feet. He watched them pick up a candle from a side table, light it and leave the room before he turned to Kitty. ‘Well, my dear, shall we follow suit?’

Without waiting for her answer, he went to light a second candle and stood by the door. Suddenly she was nervous and afraid. She looked across at him, her eyes mutely appealing. He smiled and held out his hand. ‘Come, my dear.’ His voice was gentle.

She went to him and slipped her hand into his. Together they climbed the stairs to their room.

Once in their bedchamber with the door closed, he seemed to hesitate, uncertain what he should do. He had offered her an annulment and he supposed that was what she wanted. To share her bed would be construed as consummation, even if he managed to refrain from touching her. It was ironic that what had
been acceptable when they were unmarried could not be countenanced now.

What he wanted most was to be a proper husband to her, to love, honour and cherish her to the end of their days. Why had he never told her so? Because he was afraid of rejection, of being spurned, because he hoped she would change her mind about the annulment when they reached England. In England he could woo her as a man should woo the woman he loved, unhampered by rough living and danger, which made people say and do things they did not mean.

‘You go to bed,’ he said, putting the candle down on a chest. ‘I must see to the horse.’

She was bewildered. He had never been irresolute before, he had always known exactly what to do. Surely the presence of his ring on her finger hadn’t changed that? It ought to have made it easier for him to share her bed, not more difficult. ‘But the hotel ostler has done that,’ she said. ‘Why go out again?’

He smiled, but it was a smile that did not reach his eyes. They were blank, almost as if he had deliberately shut her out. ‘You did not think I should be so unfeeling as to assert my rights, did you?’

‘Unfeeling?’ Her own heightened sensitivity, her mental preparation for the night to come, her disappointment, made her so angry she was almost shouting. ‘Yes, you are unfeeling. You play with people, do you know that? You treat them as if they have no more feelings than a piece of furniture. Do this, do that, don’t do this, don’t do that. Get up. Be quiet. Go to bed. Did it ever occur to you to wonder how I felt about it all?’

He stared at her, completely taken aback by her outburst, as she was herself. She had not meant to let fly at him, especially not tonight, their first night of marriage. She did not understand herself, let alone him.

‘I did not need to wonder,’ he snapped. ‘You made it abundantly plain. I was conveniently to hand when you needed an
escort. I was there to shield you from the grimmer realities of life, rescue you, even to marry you to prevent scandal …’