Ivy's Twisted Vine Redux (61 page)

“So all of this time, you stayed away because of Grey’s threats?” It was all starting to make perfect sense to Ivy.

“No, not always,” Nicola said reluctantly. “But when I realized that I wanted to be near you, I was forced away because of them.”

“
When you wanted to be near me
?” Ivy held on to his words. “When was this?”

“I can’t pinpoint an exact date. I just know that when I wanted to reach out, it was too late. And that isn’t all Grey’s fault. It’s mine. It was only recently that I realized there is nothing out in these streets for me.”

“What does that have to do with me?” Ivy wanted him to continue, to say the right words. She moved closer in anticipation.
Say it Nicola
, she said to herself.

Nicola was on the verge of spilling all of his deepest desires onto Ivy’s ears, but he had to know one thing first. “Are you still going to marry Grey tomorrow…now that you know.”

Ivy’s eyes met Nicola’s and for a moment she was caught like a deer in headlights. Her voice cracked. “Yes,” she said hesitantly. She looked down at him and shook her head. “Is there any reason that I should not?”

“I don’t know. You tell me,” Nicola said tired of his thoughts. “What would make you want to marry a man that would do what Grey has done?”

“The same thing that would make me want to marry you,” she said pulling away. “You and Grey are really not very different. I guess women are attracted over and over to the same type of man. Besides, I can no more forgive one of you than both of you.”

“It’s never too late, Ivy,” Nicola said trying to keep the wanton feeling at bay. “What I feel for you …it’s not just some unquenchable lust. I thought that it was at first, because I’ve never quite felt anything else for anyone, but I’ve fallen in love with you. How many times do I have to say it in order to make you believe me?” He stood up, towering over her with strength and a commanding presence. He allowed his hand to touch her soft exposed shoulders, and she shuddered visibly. He gripped her firmly.

Why won’t you just ask for me
, Ivy thought to herself as she listened to Nicola.
Ask me to marry you, Nicola!
Her eyes gleamed with both excitement and nervousness. Would he do it? Would he at least lean over and kiss her? Would he take her?
What will you do, Nicola?
She became impatient as her thoughts raced. Telling her that he loved her was a big step, but it still was not enough at this point. He had to go for broke. No more protecting his feelings for her. He had to proclaim his love for her and ask for her on his own. She sighed, exhausted by the urge for him. She searched his eyes but did not glimpse the sign of good things to come. Seeing that he would restrain himself tonight like never before, she caved. “I should go,” she said, mouth quivering. “Maybe it wasn’t the smartest thing for me to come here.” She pulled away.

Nicola’s blood had begun to flow backwards in front of Ivy, and she didn’t even know it. She couldn’t even recognize that she caused such a thing in him every time she was near. He fought with himself trying hard not to reach out for her. He wanted to grab her now and tear the clothes from her body. He wanted to violently rip the engagement ring from her hand and launch it in the sky, hoping that some foul would catch it and take far away forever. He wanted to carry her in his arms to his bed and make her submit in such away that she would never dare to look back! His was mad for her, rabid for her love and foaming at the heart for her to choose him. How could he make her understand it all? Nicola shook his head, unable to find words suitable for the moment. His hormones were raging and atoms in his body split with agony. There was something of insurmountable magnitude blocking him from her, and the sands of time would not stop for him to grasp a better understanding. He grabbed her by the hand, trembling inside and in a calm voice looked into her eyes. “You’re right. You shouldn’t be here right now. Come on, I’ll walk you to your car.”

***

Grey lay between two naked strippers that had fallen to sleep shortly after their long sex session nearly an hour before, thinking of Ivy and his wedding scheduled to take place the next afternoon. He sipped his cognac slowly allowing the burn to rush down into his stomach and ease his troubled thoughts. Even in his deliberate drunken haze, he could not fight his overwhelming melancholy and urge to flee all that he knew, especially Ivy Winters.

Without intention in between his friends giving him the most memorable bachelor party ever and meeting young, desirable women with no inhibitions, Grey realized that he wasn’t quite ready to give up his coveted, playboy lifestyle. His father had pounded in his head for many years that he needed to be married to pursue a safer life in politics, but other men had done it without a wife successfully before him. Surely, he could too. Marrying Ivy would mean that life would be over, as he knew it. Every woman that he brought to his bed would be an adulteress and he and adulterer.
And although that would be just fine for him
, the public would have him kicked out of the House of Representatives for his lack of control.

Grey’s final conclusion was that he was making a very large, insurmountable mistake by marrying his little college princess, but his word was his bond. And he had promised Ivy that he would never leave her alone again. Now, he was forced to eat his words, and as he chocked on the huge promises in the wake of his political career, he realized the enormity of his shortcomings.

There in the dark was a long-legged, dark-skinned black woman lying naked beside him staring up at him wide-eyed. It was moments before Grey realized that she had been watching him for quite some time. Her silent stare stirred his loins as he looked down at her, peering at him under long black lashes and almond shaped eyes. She lifted a brow and smiled lazily revealing pearly white teeth under still red shinning lips. Grey looked at her for a moment spellbound by the length of her seventies style afro, the contrast of dark skin against the gold belly ring and the muscular build of her brick house body.

“How long have you been up?” he asked shifting slightly towards her to whisper.

“Just a minute,” she said resting on her pillow. “Why do you look so sad?”

“Because I am,” Grey said rubbing her bare waist. “What’s your name again?”

“Loni,” she whispered.

“Loni, can you make me feel better?” Grey’s boyish luster returned and hid his melancholy exterior. He would milk this cow for what ever it was worth.

“Of course,” Loni said laughing.

***

Ivy didn’t sleep all night. She sat in the window seat of her suite looking down over the Mississippi River and rocking herself slowly. Now, dawn was at her hills, and still she was submerged in deep thought about her soon-to-be nuptials and why she was really marrying Grey. During the course of the night, she had managed to finish the book that her therapist had given her and decided that she still was not living for herself, even after defying the family’s wishes for her life. Plus, Nicola was heavy on her heart. She saw something last night in him that she had never seen before. And yet, he was at his house with their children, and she was here.

Regardless of the ever-changing emotions trapped in her body, Ivy truly loved Grey. But it wasn’t the knock down, drag out love that she used to know. She wasn’t quite sure if that type of love even existed for her anymore. Now, she was left with a shell of love, quietly hidden behind proper conversation and pleasantries designed to take away the sting of obligation and constant pain of settling. It was the perfect disposition for a pseudo-wife in a public marriage designed to gain votes. However, it was a miserable existence for a young, warm-blooded romantic who wanted to be desired as a woman and more importantly as a wife.
It is my birthright to be loved and treasured
, Ivy thought to herself as she held her own arms, still crying from a never-ending well of tears flowing from the pit of her stomach.

With red eyes and tear stained cheeks, Ivy watched the sunrise on her penthouse suite as she sat wrapped in a thirty-year old quilt that had been passed down to her by her mother’s mother. The sun’s brilliant hues of gold cascaded around her embellished room and awoke some strange strength in her, causing her to rise from her unsettled slumber and prepare for her future. However, there was a mystic calling in her that named her lover in soft whisper that rang in her ears. Nicola. Nicola. Nicola. But to respond to such a name would call for drastic measures, not only by her but him.

Ivy peeled out of her pajamas and stepped into the gilded golden shower. Her fingers caressed then grasped the crystal knobs releasing hot fire pellets that singed through her haze. As the hot water from the shower beat down on her soft limbs, she washed away old, cumbersome thoughts. She reached out in the water, arms stretched to the sky and tried to release her pain symbolically, praying in her silence, mumbling words to God in hopes that he might hear her. Her long brown curly hair covered her face, shoulders and back, wrapping her like a blanket from the outside world. She sighed heavily, crying out in the empty room and shaking from the powerful and exhausting emotions pulling at her like strings on a cord. Finally, she leaned forward, placing open palms on the shower tiles and allowed the water to rush down her back. As she looked down at the drain, she could see her tears falling down into the tub and marveled at how she knew the difference between the her pain-filled drops that fell like rain and the cascading river of rejuvenation coming from the showerhead. She only wished that her decision would be so clear, but it would not be clear until just the right time. Until it revealed itself, she would take the agony of not knowing what this day held for her.

Chapter Thirty-Five:

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

Chapter 35

HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT

“Gentlemen, could I have your attention, please,” Grey said taking up his champagne glass as the groomsmen quieted down in the back of the stretch Hummer Limo. “I’d like to propose a toast.” Grey cleared his voice and smiled visibly tipsy and enjoying the last minutes with his friends and brothers.

“Well, by all means, let me get a glass,” Mattock said in a cheerful tone.

“Matt, has anyone ever told you that you act like a black Frazier,” one of the groomsmen said laughing as they raised their glasses. Everyone laughed, even Mattock who would only tolerate the jokes because of the special time for Grey.

“No, let’s get serious for a minute,” Grey said straightening his tuxedo. “I’d like to propose a toast.” The car became silent. “To my last hour as a free, resilient man with the best men a guy could have as friends and family. As I embark on this…venture, I prepare myself to be strengthened politically by obtaining a ready-made family for the sole purpose of winning the 17
^th
district of Tennessee’s seat for the House of Representatives.” With melancholy in his eyes, Grey lifted his glass and smiled at his big brother who stared disturbingly at his from his seat.

“I won’t drink to that,” Grey’s eldest brother Bishop said putting down his glass.

“Neither will I,” Mattock said glad that there was more than one voice of reason in the car.

“Well, I will,” Grey said turning his glass upwards.

There was a long silence as the men road uncomfortable. It had been evident the entire celebration that Grey was troubled by something, and now it was painfully clear. He was only marrying Ivy for the seat. Bishop knocked on the glass and had the chauffer pull the limo over.

“Grey, can we step out of the car and talk for a minute?” Bishop asked.

“Why?” Grey said looking around at his friends. “Whatever you have to say can be said in front of these men.”

“Alright then,” Bishop said looking at Mattock, whom he was sure agreed with him. “You don’t need to marry this woman today. You don’t have to marry her today,” he said assuring Grey. He looked around for support on the matter and his other brothers chimed in.

“He’s right, Grey.” Emerson, one of his older brothers, said shaking his head. “No one thinks that it’s worth it. When you marry, you marry for love not for office, especially to be a Congressman. No one really wants you to do this anyway. It’s a bad move. Mom thinks so. We think so. Tell him, Bishop.”
“It is wrong,” Bishop said piggybacking. “I wouldn’t say anything before because I felt you may really love her, but this confession proves that you don’t.”
“Are you hearing what you are saying?” Grey asked appalled. “It’s one hour,” he looked down at his watch. “It’s one hour before my fucking wedding. And you’re telling me not to marry Ivy, because I don’t love her.”

“You may love her, but you’re not in love with her,” Mattock quickly interjected wanting Grey to hear their reasoning.

“Oh, now you’re going to take their side,” Grey said snapping at Mattock. He looked around feeling betrayed. “How many other people in the car feel as though I’m making a mistake?” A few other hands raised but no one said anything. “And when were you going to say something?” Grey said snarling. As the limo pulled over, Grey pushed his way out of the car and stood in a daze at the Exxon gas station.

Bishop got out with his brothers and Madison. This was a cold shower for a hot mess. They circled Grey, trying to get him to listen to reason. This was the final hour. If they didn’t say something now, they never could. The adrenaline pumped through the small crowd of family and friends.