It's Now or Never (16 page)

His ran his hand through my hair, kissing me hard on the lips, our mouths opening together as his tongue promised a thousand delights. I pulled back, looking into eyes that were heavy with longing.

‘I'd like that,' I said, leaning back into the warmth of his embrace. ‘I'd like that very much indeed.'

•••

Back at his flat, Alex made me a warming hot chocolate, put some mellow jazz music on in the background and came and sat down next to me on the sofa, stretching his long legs out in front of him. If I'd hoped he might have dropped the subject of Angie and what it was she'd told me, I was very much mistaken.

He rested his arm on the back of the sofa, his hand on my shoulder now.

‘I'm disappointed Jen that you were all too eager to believe what Angie said about me. If there was something you wanted to know, you could have just asked me.'

‘It wasn't like that. Really, it was just a throw-away comment. Or two,' I added with a smile. ‘And it wasn't only what Angie said. I knew instinctively when we met that we were two very different people. I just couldn't imagine us being together in that way.'

I wondered why he was so bothered by Angie's comments. He didn't strike me as the sort of person who concerned himself with how other people viewed him. And it wasn't as if Angie had been saying anything too bad about him. She'd hardly been spreading vicious rumours. It was only one friend talking to another. How did we ever get talking about this in the first place?

‘She said lots of lovely things about you too if that makes you feel any better.' It was a case of damage limitation now. I didn't want to cause any ill-feeling between Alex, Tom and Angie, but maybe it was too late for that. Tom had probably gone straight home to Angie and told her what an interfering busybody her best friend was.

‘I've a feeling there's a “but” coming,' he said, a smile forming at his lips.

I laughed.

‘Only that you'd left a trail of broken hearts in your wake.'

‘Really?' He shook his head. ‘That's unfair and not strictly accurate either. You know, I could sue her for defamation of character.'

‘Don't say anything, will you? I've a feeling, after tonight, I'm already in a whole heap of trouble with Angie as it is. Besides, I don't know what you're getting so hot under the collar about. Are you really telling me that there isn't an iota of truth in what Angie said?'

‘How do you mean?' he said, turning on me, his brow furrowed.

‘That you're not a ladies' man, breaking women's hearts at every turn?' I was teasing him, trying to take the heat out of our conversation, but Alex was having none of it.

‘Absolutely not,' he said vehemently. There was a fire crackling behind his eyes.

‘Look, I don't know what her problem is with me. I've dated a lot of women, admittedly. I'll hold my hands up to that, but I didn't realise it was a crime. I'm a single man, I can choose to do as I please. And I'm always upfront with anyone I ever meet or date. I don't make promises I have no intention of keeping. If something's not working then why stay in that situation?'

‘That sounds like a very pragmatic approach to dating,' I said lightly. It sounded to me as though he was only confirming what Angie had told me; that he was a single-minded, cold-hearted player. A commitment-phobe. Someone interested in only dating and sleeping with woman before moving on to the next best thing on the block.

‘Possibly.' He examined the backs of his hands. ‘But I don't think it takes that long to know whether or not you're going to hit it off with someone. And there's no point in hanging around if you know ultimately it's not going to go anywhere.'

I'd only met Alex on a few occasions but already I knew how charming and utterly, hook-line-and-sinker compelling he was. I'd known that within a nanosecond of meeting him. His chameleon like eyes, searching, questioning and subtly seductive, were enough to wobble the legs of the most level-headed woman.

I wondered about all those women he'd left behind and the casual abandon of their hopes and dreams and hearts. Frankly I could see where Angie was coming from. I didn't want to be one of the ones he left behind. I'd made myself semi-immune to his charms thanks to Angie. I'd kept her warning at the forefront of my mind and a very firm, well firm-ish, lid on my heart and emotions, even if I hadn't been quite so particular with my knickers on one particular occasion. If Alex was going to play any part in my life then it was going to be on a no-strings attached basis. I could enjoy his company for what it was; a lovely evening with an undeniably attractive man. The problem would be knowing when to walk away, with my heart and emotions still intact.

‘I guess so. Do you ever think though that some of your dates might have felt differently? That they may have wanted more from you?'

‘What, like Angie you mean?' he said, with a touch of cynicism.

‘Angie? How do you mean…?'

‘Nothing,' he shook his head. ‘Sorry, I guess I'm just annoyed that she's not exactly been singing my praises as far as you're concerned.'

‘But you and Angie? There's never been anything between the pair of you, has there?'

‘No, not really.' He removed his hand from my shoulder and stretched his arms in front of him, flexing his fingers.

‘Not really?' I swivelled round on the sofa to face him. ‘What the hell does that mean?'

‘Nothing, honestly. It was just when she and Tom were on a break from each other a few months back, there was a bit of a misunderstanding between us, that's all. I've got a feeling she's not my number one fan any more.'

I looked at him aghast, trying to make sense of what he was telling me. Angie and I didn't have secrets from each other. Well not really. Admittedly I hadn't told her that I'd been out with Alex a couple of times, but that was only because I knew she wouldn't approve. And I also knew that whatever Alex and I had going on between us it was only ever likely to be a temporary thing. But surely if there had ever been anything going on between her and Alex she would have told me. We were supposed to be best friends.

‘What sort of misunderstanding?'

‘Basically…' His lip curled apologetically. ‘Well she made a pass at me. And I knocked her back. That was all. But I wonder if she's never really forgiven me.'

‘Noooo!' I jumped back on the sofa looking at him accusingly. ‘I don't believe it. She would have told me.'

He shrugged, his eyebrows lifting.

‘Right, well you must believe what you like.' He gave me the benefit of his intense, soul-searching gaze that cut through to the depths of my stomach. It made my insides swirl, and if I'd had any doubt that Alex was lying to me, that look told me he was telling the absolute truth.

‘No, I didn't mean that,' I said, trying to regain some ground, desperate to know more. ‘I'm just surprised that's all.'

‘Well, I don't think there was anything serious to it. She was probably trying to get back at Tom for all the times he'd messed her around. And I think drink could have been involved too, but that's besides the point. I would never get involved with a friend's girlfriend or ex. Some things you just don't do. Besides, Angie really isn't my type. Despite what you may think, Jen, I do have some morals.'

‘Of course, I just…' This snippet of juicy gossip had completely pole-axed me. Had Angie really been looking out for me? Was she concerned about my well-being and the state of my fragile heart, as she'd insisted, or was it just that she didn't want me to have something she couldn't have for herself; Alex.

‘Look…' He reached out for my hand, interlocking his fingers through mine. There was a faint smile on his lips and a look of barely concealed desire in his eyes. With his other hand, he stroked his thumb down my cheekbone and traced a trail along the length of my jaw causing butterflies to stir in my stomach.

‘Why are we spending so much time talking about Angie and Tom? And dating other people? All I know is that I really like you and there's no other person in the world I would want to have here with me right now than you.'

I repeated his words over in my head, savouring their ripe deliciousness. Was it a line he used on other women? Did it work for him all the time? Quite honestly, I didn't care if he meant it or not. In that moment, I knew I felt exactly the same way too.

He gave me a feather-light kiss on the lips, my body immediately responding to the promise and invitation in that one kiss. Our eyes locked together, appraising each other as though it was the first time we'd set eyes on one another. His hands ran through my hair, the tips of his fingers massaging my skull, guiding my head towards his mouth, the intent in the air heavy now with desire. His tongue prised open my lips and he kissed me again, gently at first, his mouth teasing and taunting mine, sending me into a heady spiral of abandon, until our lips were pressed firmly together, our kissing even more urgent now.

Alex pulled away from me, his face flushed with desire, a look of concern on his features.

‘Listen, Jen, I'm going to be honest with you here.'

‘Uh-huh'

He held me at arms' length, but with one hand traced a finger from the top of my head down the side of my face, across my neckline and along the curve of my body. I squirmed as my whole being responded to the lightness of his touch.

‘I want to take you to bed right now and get you out of those clothes.'

‘O-kay.'

‘I want to lay you down on my bed and kiss your entire body from top to toe and then back again and when I'm finished with doing that, which would obviously be a long and labour-intensive procedure, I would like to make love to you through the night.'

‘I see.' I blinked a couple of times to deflect the intensity of his gaze.

‘Now, I know we've been here before and, I don't know about you Jen, but the memories of that night we spent together are still imprinted vividly in my memory. I want to revisit that place right here and now, Jen. How would you feel about that?'

I breathed a reply, but no sound came from my mouth.

‘The thing is I want to make sure you want the same thing too.'

I nodded.

‘Because I know you mentioned to me before that you weren't happy with the one-night stand aspect of that evening and how you don't do casual relationships so I want to make sure, if we are going to do this, that you are one hundred per cent happy with the arrangement. Not that it would qualify in any regard as a one-night stand now. And as for a casual relationship, well I think I would have to put that decision fairly squarely into your hands now.'

‘Yes,' I whispered, uncertain if there was even a question waiting to be answered but knowing that there was only one possible answer. ‘Yes.'

‘Alex?'

‘Yes.'

‘Would you take me to bed now please?'

Chapter Eighteen

‘So, we've got a Victoria sponge, some rock cakes and a lemon drizzle tray bake. Where would you like to start, love?' Gramps handed me a cup of tea rattling around in a saucer from the posh Wedgwood tea set which had been a wedding gift to him and Nan. It rarely got an outing these days, but Nan always used to bring it out for high days and holidays including family birthdays when she would bake one of her special chocolate sponges oozing with buttercream filling.

I took a rock cake and popped it on a pretty floral plate. I was still a bit bemused as to what I was doing here. I'd been summoned for afternoon tea which was lovely but totally out of the ordinary as to be slightly worrying. Gramps and I didn't do arranged meetings or at least we hadn't done before Marcia arrived on the scene. I generally popped in to see him on a daily basis and, if for some reason I didn't, he'd be on the phone to me checking I was okay. So when Gramps invited me for afternoon tea saying it would be a good opportunity to catch up I knew something must be afoot.

‘This all looks wonderful,' I said, taking a delicious mouthful of cake. ‘Is this your handiwork then, Gramps?'

He chuckled.

‘No, we have Marcia to thank for these. I was going to get some in from that lovely bakery on Celtic Street, but Marcia insisted it would be just as easy for her to make some. She's a great cook. Not as good as your nan mind, but still very good.'

I smiled, touched by his unending loyalty to his wife.

‘I did think Marcia might be here this afternoon.'

‘No, of course she would have liked to come, but she's off visiting some friends. Besides I thought it would be nice to spend some time together, just the two of us.'

‘Oh Gramps, I hope you don't think you have to do this now after I made such a fuss that day when Marcia was here. I'm so sorry about that. I did apologise to Marcia. I think I must have been having a bad week.'

‘I know, I know. And that was never a problem. It's all forgotten about now.'

‘Well that's good, Gramps, because I would hate to think there was any bad feeling between us. I got to know Marcia a bit better when you were in hospital and I can see what a lovely lady she is.'

‘She is, indeed.'

‘So, I'm delighted to be here, but are we celebrating anything in particular?'

‘No. Well only me still being here after my little stay in hospital,' he chuckled. ‘That has to be something to celebrate.'

‘Definitely,' I said smiling. ‘It's good to see you looking so fit and well. You gave us all quite a scare there, you know that don't you?' I let my arm dangle down by the side of my chair to give Harvey a cuddle and a sneaky tidbit of cake. He lapped it up greedily and noisily.

‘Yes, it gave me a scare too, I can tell you. And I suppose it got me thinking.'

‘Oh?' I glanced across at him. I hadn't been fooled by his assertion that the tea and cakes were just an excuse for a catch-up. I knew him far too well for that. ‘Come on then, spill the beans, I know there's something that you want to talk to me about.'