It's Not About You (15 page)

Michael set the items on a side table and removed his leather gloves. He stuck his hand out to Kevin. "Hey. We met at the
Trade In Beans
. Detective Kevin Taylor, right?"
 

I bit my lower lip as Kevin took Michael's hand and shook it. "Right…you're Michael…Oliver?"
 

"Yep." He released Kevin's hand. "If you'll excuse me, I need to clean this table." He moved the dirty dishes into the tub before he removed his leather jacket.
 

Kevin touched my arm and nodded to the side. "A word?"
 

I put my own hand on Michael's arm. He winked at me. "Go on. I'll get the table ready."
 

We walked through the front door and meandered down the sidewalk to stand in front of a crystal store. "Well," he said as he put his hands on his hips. "I see why you haven't been taking my calls."
 

He was right. I'd gotten his messages and his texts, but I hadn't answered them. I wasn't sure how to talk to him. "Look Kevin, before you start judging me—"
 

"Grace that guy is old enough to be your son. You're probably the same age as his mother."
 

Anger flared in my gut and I put my own hands on my hips. "I doubt that, unless she had him when she was fourteen." Which…was possible. But I doubted it. "And what the hell? On our first date you talked about one of the girls you meet off of Match Dot Com. She was twenty years younger than you. And you really liked her."
 

"That's different."
 

"How is that different?" What? I mean…what? "The roles reversed is wrong? An older woman can't date a younger man? There's only elven years between us, Kevin. And he's nice. He makes me happy."
 

"He's going to break your heart." He turned and looked at the front of the pizzeria before he looked back at me. "Younger men only go after women your age for money."
 

My age.
 

I didn't know whether to spit in his face, kick him in the balls or give him a right cross. None of those would be good since they would all get me put in jail for accosting an officer of the law. I let all the emotion drain from my face as I spoke. "My age, huh? And what was your interest? I'm younger than you, ass-ball. And I'm in better shape. I'm divorced, I'm making a living, and this is my life. I don't need your judgy-ness raining on my day." I moved around him and stalked back to the door of Savage Pizza.
 

"Have you told Tanae?"
 

That stopped me in my tracks. I had to admit to myself I hadn't even considered Tanae. Why should I? It was my life, wasn't it? She'd seen what her father did to me all those years. Hell, she'd experienced the mother fucker first hand. I deserved some happiness, dammit. It wasn't about her.
 

"You better tell her, Grace. Don't let her find out from someone else that her mom's a cougar."
 

I didn't look back at him. I looked forward through the window at Michael sitting at our cleaned booth. The fried cheese was there and he was happily chatting with one of the serving girls…and I didn't feel threatened.
 

Not at all.
 

I looked back at Kevin. "That someone better not be you."
 

I straightened my shoulders, took in a deep breath, and left Kevin outside in the cold.
 

The rest of the weekend went so well, my anger and resentment at what Kevin said vanished. I mean…he was partially right. I did need to tell Tanae. She needed to meet Michael. Just not yet. The relationship was still new and I was so damn happy. I didn't want to jinx anything.
 

Pfft. That kind of shit is always out of my hands.
 

Michael dropped me off at my house around three Sunday afternoon. He had some things to get done before work and I needed some me time—which of course turned into me and Kyle time. He was there, watching from the living room window and waved at Michael before he drove away.
 

"You look and smell like breeder sex."
 

I looked at him with a less than friendly expression as I unzipped my coat and hung it in the closet. I went straight to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of wine, kicked off my shoes and left them right there in the kitchen before I joined my best friend on the couch.
 

"Did you sleep at all?"
 

I sipped the wine, not sure what kind of wine it was and not caring and nodded. "Yeah. We slept some. Most of the time we talked, rode the motorcycle. Damn Kyle…Atlanta looks so different on a bike. I wish I wasn't so chicken about riding one or I'd want one for me."
 

"Uh…no." He knitted his brow together. "What else did you do? You go to Stone Mountain?"
 

"Yes! We snuggled on the green. Had a picnic and one of his friends and his girlfriend joined us. Robin and Georgina?"
 

Kyle narrowed his eyes. "I think Georgina works with him. Robin…that a guy?"

"Yep. Good looking too. The weather was perfect. Then we went for a ride on the bike…Atlanta was so beautiful. This morning we got up and had brunch at
Madeleine's
, then spent the day visiting small antique shops in Chamblee and a few closer to his house." I took in a deep breath and then let it out in a long, happy sigh.
 

I took another look at Kyle. "What?"
 

"What what?"
 

"Don't do that. What is it? You're got that look on your face."
 

"What look?"
 

"Kyle—" I leaned forward. "Spit it out."
 

He leaned into the couch. "Kevin came by last night. He wanted to see you but I told him you were gone for the weekend."
 

Kevin. Great. I literally shrank in on myself. "What…did he say?"
 

"Enough. I think seeing you with Michael at Savage was hard on him. You do know he cares about you."
 

"Yeah I do. And I care about him. But we tried a romantic relationship and it didn't work. He was the one that broke it off."

"Yeah…and since then you cleaned yourself up, we redecorated this house, you got a job." He smiled at me. "You really changed. And I think he likes those changes. And I'm pretty sure it's a blow to his widdle willy to see you out there with a younger man. On a motorcycle." Then he laughed. "God…can you imagine what Burt would say?"
 

That image cracked me up too. I set my wine on the coffee table. "I…really can't imagine what he'd say. I know he'd be angry."
 

"Yeah. That's what I mean. He'd do that whole firestarter look at you—you know the one he always used on me? With his eyes narrowed to beady slits," Kyle said as he narrowed his own eyes. "And then he'd tighten his jaw like this." He did something funny with his lips and it did look like Burt. And when he spoke he lowered his voice and hardened his tone.
"You're not fit to be the mother of my children. You're a disgrace and I'll say something really nasty here to get a rise out of you because I no longer have control!"

I laughed. It was a damn good impression of what that son of a bitch would do. It didn't make me angry or sad, or even a little bit worried or afraid. That bastard couldn't control me anymore. What I did was my own business.
 

Kyle finished his own wine and crossed his ankles as he set them on the coffee table. "Just…don't get hurt, okay? Now don't get all defensive. Kevin talked to me for a while. He's worried about you and he made some points that I think you need to hear."
 

I had my mouth open to protest, but closed it and listened.
 

"There's what, about ten years between you? That's not really a lot of time when you think about it. And right now it's all shiny and new. But, what's his dating background like? Has he always had a thing for older women? Does he have an ex-wife or kids? Does he have a record? Is he here to bilk you out of your money—and yes I know you don't have any. And what about your heart? That's the part of this I care about most."
 

"I thought what you cared about was Gerald seeing Michael and I together."
 

"That too. But Gerald hasn't said much and we've been busy." Kyle rubbed at his stubble chin. He didn't shave on Sundays. He looked great with facial hair. "But you come first for me. You're the oldest friend I have—no slight to age my dear. I don't want him hurting you. Burt was and is a bastard of the highest order. And he's continuing to be a bastard after the divorce. I'm confident that when he leaves this earth, he'll be a bastard after death. So I can see where Michael's politeness and kindness are like a breath of fresh air to you. Just…protect yourself."
 

I was listening to him. I really was. But I didn't want him to worry. "I thought of all those things too, Kyle. But I also thought of something else. Kids. What if he doesn't have any? What if we survive the first six months and he wants to get married? I can't physically handle more kids—not at my age. I don't want to be in a nursing home when they graduate college." I shuddered. "I think about that a lot. I think he's limiting his future possibilities if he sticks with me. But for right now, it's good. And it's fun and new for both of us. And yes he's nice, Kyle. He asks my opinion and he listens. He doesn't bore the shit out of me with his day and I personally don't want to bore him with mine. We talk about current events, movies, books. I just don't want the bubble to burst just yet."
 

"Yeah well…bubbles always pop." He turned on the couch and shoved his large, cold feet under my thigh for warmth. "When did it pop with you and Burt?"
 

"The first time?" That wasn't hard. "Before Tanae was born."
 

He blinked at me. "Shit…Grace.
Before
she was born?"
 

"Yeah. Remember when me and Sherry were living in that two bedroom in Brookhaven?"
 

"Yeah. I was living down near Lenox."
 

"Uh huh. He and I got together about three months after Sherry and I found that great apartment. Burt and I got married, I got pregnant almost immediately, and he transferred here. We were all sharing the rent. Sherry had already said a few things…not that I picked up on them until later. About how he spoke to her. How he was brusque a lot and how he would say things like,
you need to start looking for a new place to live
, or
you should think about moving in with your boyfriend
. The one that really got to me was when he said
I think yours and Grace's friendship should cool off a bit. Once she and I have a house she's not going to have time for you
."
 

"He…he said those things?"
 

"Oh come on, Kyle. You've been the brunt of his narcissistic passive aggressive bullshit and you have to ask that? I was dialing in from planet pregnant so I sort of like…blocked that shit. Until something he did made me start to doubt every one of my decisions."
 

I looked at the pattern of my jeans and picked at a hole near my knee. "She and I had just bought some book and were in the kitchen talking about it, going back and forth like we'd always done. He came home, stood in the kitchen and then walked into the bedroom." I paused as that memory came up and rolled over me like a wet blanket of anger. "She and I kept talking, but we both felt it. That looming, gnawing, soul sucking aura he puts off."
 

"Oh yeah…I know the one. It's like a dark, disturbing monster in the house."

"Hell, yeah. Sherry caught it and pulled me into the living room and told me to go see to him because she could feel the hate. She went out to eat with friends. I wanted to go with her but see, I had this big baby I had to deal with. When I went into the room, he had that look on his face?"
 

"That staring, serial killer look?"
 

"Yeah that one. And when I asked him what's wrong, he started in on how I ignored him, on how my friendship with Sherry was ruining out marriage. Let's see…that it was rude to talk about things that other people didn't know anything about. I mean…hello? I think it was a Harry Potter book. How is that anybody else's fault he didn't know about Harry Potter at the time?" I still remembered his face, and the anger in his eyes.
 

And I remembered the sinking feeling that I'd made a mistake. A terrible mistake. I'd married a nut job and now I was pregnant.
 

"Is that why you and Sherry drifted apart?"
 

"He hated it when she'd come to visit. The day she came to see Tanae—I was two weeks into maternity leave and dying for adult conversation—and he came home early and announced visiting hours were over. That his daughter was too young for strangers and that Sherry needed to leave." My heart hung in my chest when I remembered the look on Sherry's face. "She gave me a hug, whispered 'get away from him'
 
in my ear, and left." I shrugged. "I haven't seen her since."