It's in the Rhythm (9 page)

“Would it have been better if it was for another man?”

Garrett peeped over the menu. “I can't believe you asked that question. And no, it wouldn't have been better.”

“I know it's going to be difficult for everyone. Hell, it's difficult for me. But I can't continue living a lie. I want to come clean about who I am.” Her eyes were pleading for understanding. “Taj is going to be fine.”

“How can he be, raised in that environment?”

“It's better than the environment he was in.”

Garrett looked off.

“I'm only living with Nina until my apartment is ready. We won't be living together.”

“Glad to hear it,” Garrett said. “Taj is going through enough.” He motioned for the waitress, ready to order dinner.

“I don't even know if Nina is the one for me,” Tamara continued when it was safe to talk again.

“Are you sure you're not just curious? You're not just going through a phase in your life? I've heard women say they wanted to know what it was like to be with another woman. Maybe you're bisexual.” He shrugged. “I don't know.”

“It's more than curiosity, Garrett. I love Nina. She loves me.”

Garrett didn't respond.

“I know it's not what you want to hear, but it's true.” She gave a tight smile. “It's like you say. She likes my rhythm,” Tamara joked, using his earlier words.

Garrett wasn't laughing. “That's not funny,” he said with no expression on his face.

“We have always been able to talk about anything and everything. I need for you to be in my corner.”

Garrett took a deep sigh. “Be in your corner. That's like saying I approve.”

She reached out and closed a hand over his. “I want you to understand. You are more open-minded than Mom and Dad.”

Garrett tilted his head to one side, trying to follow where she was going.

“You know what's it's like to fight for your own identity against them. You did it when you chose to sing secular music. Look what happened: you're successful.”

“A singing career and coming out of the closet aren't the same.”

“Same principle.”

Garrett shook his head. What she was hoping for was wishful thinking. Their parents would never approve of her new lifestyle.

She leaned across the table. “Don't say anything,” she pleaded.

“No need to worry about that.”

An hour later, Garrett felt like he was walking in a fog as he made his way to the parking lot. Finding his vehicle, he settled behind the wheel. He leaned his head against the headrest. He still couldn't believe it. Tamara left her husband for a woman.

“Lord, give us strength,” he said into the night.

* * *

“Marry you?” Trinity repeated. “I haven't seen you in a year. You show up on my doorstep and propose,” she snapped her finger, “just like that, and I'm supposed to say yes?”

Darius's face was downcast. “I know I'm putting you on the spot,” he replied. “I know I have to earn your trust again, prove to you that I'm serious this time.”

She gave him a hostile stare. “What makes you think I'm going to give you another chance?”

A look of sadness passed over his face. He stared at her intensely. “Do you still love me?” His gaze traveled over her face and searched her eyes for the answer to the question.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, struggling to fight off the prospect of them being together again. “That's not fair, Darius.”

“I still love you. I was wrong about us. I'm not ashamed to say it,” he admitted.

“You should be,” she snapped. She stomped off, plopping down on the sofa. She folded her legs underneath her.

“I tried to forget you,” Darius said, sitting down next to her. “I can't. You're my life, Trinity.”

Trinity didn't dare look at Darius. He was always smooth with words. Always knew the right words to say at the right time. She didn't like the fact that his presence was bringing back memories she wanted to forget.

He leaned forward, staring at her. “You haven't answered my question. Do you still love me?”

Trinity opened her mouth to speak. Darius pointed at her. “Before you answer, remember I know you very well.” He flashed a seductive smile. “I know when you are lying.”

The man still had the power to send delicious shudders through her body, reminding her of the passionate nights they shared. Afterward, they would snuggle and talk about their plans for a future together.

“I care about you, Darius,” she lied. “I always will.” The truth was when she saw him standing there, she wanted to throw her arms around him and tell him how much she missed him.

Darius rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. “You care about me?”

“Yes, I care about you. But that's not the issue.”

“Then what is the issue?”

“Why are you suddenly the marrying kind?”

“It's not all of a sudden. I've been thinking about it a while,” he assured her. “When I moved to Chicago, I wanted to come back to ask you to move with me, but I didn't think you would come with me because of the way things ended with us.”

Trinity nervously grabbed her robe top. She'd almost forgotten she was in her bathrobe. “Now you think I will?”

“Trinity?”

“I can't deal with this right now.” First it was Garrett, now Darius. She didn't know what she did to deserve so much attention, but she wished it would go away.

“No pressure, Trinity. We will talk about it some other time. I'll let you think about it.”

Trinity walked Darius to the door.

“I'm staying at my brother Roger's house. Maybe we can go out to dinner or something and discuss this some more.”

“Darius—” Trinity started to speak, and then stopped. There was no way she would allow Darius, or any man, to have emotional control over her. She'd work to hard to have her independence.

“I don't mean to push. I just missed you.”

“I'm sorry, Darius, it's just not a good idea,” she said as they stood in the doorway. She just wanted him to leave.

“This isn't over, Trinity,” Darius said softly. “I'm back in town, so you may as well get used to seeing me.”

Out of the blue, he lowered his head and placed a soft kiss on her lips. His mouth curved into a warm smile. “See you around.” Without giving her time to respond, he turned on his heels and walked down the sidewalk.

* * *

Garrett found himself parked across the street from Trinity's house. He knew he shouldn't be here, but he needed someone to talk to. Though they were not on the best of terms, he considered her a good friend. Trinity was a good listener.

As the car door opened, he froze in mid-motion. He blinked, making sure his eyes were not deceiving him. Trinity and a man were standing in her doorway. Adjusting his vision, he remembered that Trinity introduced him as her fiancé, Darius. Were they together again? He watched Darius give her a hug and kiss her softly on the lips. Garrett couldn't help but feel a stab of jealousy. Trinity should be in his arms. He took a deep breath. A heaviness settled in his chest. He got back behind the wheel and drove off.

Thirty minutes later, he turned off the car engine in front of Morse Lake. He always came here when he needed to clear his head. He always believed God's presence was here, though he knew God was everywhere.

He got out of the vehicle and leaned against the hood of the car. Folding his arms across his chest, he crossed his legs at the ankle. He looked up at the twinkling stars as if searching for answers. Some vacation. He thought he was coming home to fun and relaxation. Between Imani's pressure to be in a relationship, his sister leaving her husband for a woman, and Trinity's rejection, it had been anything but that. She appeared to have moved on with her life. He'd have to do the same. The ringing of his cell phone interrupted his thoughts. Imani's name and number appeared. It was her third call tonight. He ignored it again. At the moment, he didn't feel up to talking to anyone.

Chapter 9

Imani redialed Garrett's cell number and waited for him to answer. No response. She left another message, her third. It was unlike him not to return her calls. She wanted him to know that she'd arrived in Washington, D.C., and was staying at the Hotel Washington.

She received his message stating he needed to talk to her, and then saw the tabloid photo of him and another woman kissing. She wanted to discuss the matter with him in person, not over the telephone. She wasn't worried about Garrett's actions. She trusted him. He'd never given her any reason to believe that he'd ever been unfaithful. Though the photo looked bad, she was sure there was an explanation. Women like her came with the territory. They were a dime a dozen.

Imani fell hard for Garrett after meeting him backstage at one of his concerts. At first she tried to tell herself that it wasn't anything more than just infatuation. After all, she was feeling what many other women felt. The same night, Garrett asked her out. That was the beginning of their relationship. The more time she spent with him, the more she realized it was more than infatuation. It was love. Garrett made it clear that he cared about her, but he wasn't sure about a commitment. However, she was sure that, with time, she could change his mind.

Good men like Garrett didn't come along every day. He was raised in a good, Christian family, a family with good morals and values. He treated her like a lady. With him she felt safe and protected. She wanted to hold on to that. She loved the fact that he wasn't insecure. He was confident with himself and not threatened by her accomplishment.

Driven by success, Imani had worked her way from a broken home in Lawton, Oklahoma, to a top runway model.

It was her looks that made Imani a household name; she knew it, and wasn't going to apologize for it. Her mother taught her that you have to use what you have to get what you want out of this world. No one was going to give you anything.

After being in the modeling business for ten years, she knew her face would be replaced by fresh, youthful ladies coming into the business; therefore, she was preparing herself for life after modeling. Her cosmetic lines were lucrative. An Imani fragrance would soon be on the shelves. She was even hoping to launch a serious movie career. She enjoyed acting, and had managed to land small roles in movies, television sitcoms, and music videos.

She had even managed to avoid the negative trappings of fame that robbed her mother of her career.

Lele Washington was an up-and-coming model when alcohol, drug abuse, and an affair with a married man took its toll. She suffered a nervous breakdown and floated in and out of a psychiatrist's care for years.

Imani was the result of the affair. An only child. She'd never met her father, and didn't even know his name. Lele refused to say anything about him. Her mother never married, remaining bitter and lonely. Imani was determined to avoid the same pitfall. She wanted a successful marriage, children, and career. And she wanted it with Garrett.

She tried once again to reach Garrett. Still no answer. She glanced at her watch. It was 8 p.m. Where could he be? Was he with the woman in the photo? She tried to push the thought away.

Opening her Gucci purse, she fished around for her address book. Finding Garrett's parents' address, she decided it was time to pay her man a visit.

* * *

Brian's truck traveled a safe distance behind Tamara's vehicle. He was sure he wasn't detected. He was determined to find out what went wrong in the marriage and fix it.

A few minutes later, Tamara pulled into an upscale, quiet-looking residential area. She parked in front of a red brick home. He decided to wait until she exited the automobile before approaching her. He didn't want her to scare her.

“Tamara,” he said.

She looked like a deer caught in the headlights. “Brian? What are you doing here?” She looked around as if looking for someone. “You're following me?”

He ignored the question. “We need to talk. You just can't walk out of the marriage without giving me a good reason, without telling me what I've done or how I can fix it.”

“Brian, I've said all I'm going to say about it.”

Brian's voice rose an octave. “That's it? After all that we've been through together, that's all you have to say?”

“Brian, we grew apart. It happens in marriages. Especially the way our marriage came about.”

“What are you saying? You never loved me?”

“No, I'm not saying that.”

“Then what are you saying?” he asked.

Tamara glanced toward the house. Nina had taken Taj to McDonald's while she met with Garrett, and she didn't know if they were back home. Both could now be listening to their conversation. The front lawn wasn't the place for this discussion.

Brian's gaze followed hers to the house. “Whose house is this?” he asked.

“That's none of your business,” Tamara answered.

“Is he inside?” he said, racing toward the front door. “Why doesn't he come out and face me like a man?” He began knocking on the door. “You think you can sleep with my wife, steal my family? Come on out,” he yelled, frantically ringing the doorbell.

“Stop it, Brian,” Tamara screamed. “You're causing a scene. The neighbors will hear you.”

“Let them hear! They need to know they're living next door to an adulterer, a wife stealer, a homewrecker!” He was screaming at the top of his lungs. “Come on out and face me!”

Tamara didn't know what to do. She knew Brian would be upset. He deserved to be. She had to get him to leave. She didn't want to involve Nina at the moment, and she didn't want Taj to see his father like this.

“Think about Taj,” Tamara pleaded. “You don't want him to see you like this.”

“Were you thinking about Taj when you left?” Brian retorted. “Who knows how he's taking this.”

“I am thinking about Taj. Look, Brian,” she began to say when she looked over his shoulder and saw a police cruiser with flashing lights pull up in front of the house.

Brian's gaze followed hers. He turned back to face her with a look that cut her deep. “Your man called the cops on me? That shows you how much of a
bitch
he is. I'll leave peacefully. But this isn't over.” He threw his hands up and walked away.

* * *

The following afternoon, Trinity was sitting in her classroom when Principal Fisk dropped by. Her next class was due to begin in a moment. It was her last class for the day.

“Good afternoon, Miss Blake.”

“Hello, Principal Fisk.”

“I know your class is about to start, so I will be brief.”

Trinity hesitated. She hoped Principal Fisk wasn't about to tell her she was being laid off or her hours had been cut. She couldn't afford to work part-time. “Is something wrong?”

“Not at all.” Principal Fisk smiled at her. “Things couldn't be better. I ran into Garrett Martindale last night. His parents and I are good friends.”

Trinity's heart dropped into her stomach. She could sense where the conversation was headed.

“I spoke to him about speaking at the school,” Principal Fisk continued. “He says he will be more than happy to do it.”

Trinity could hear the excitement in her voice. “When is he scheduled to speak?” She moved some folders around on her desk to calm her nerves.

“We are going to arrange everything for Friday.”

Trinity swallowed the lump in her throat. “I'm glad everything worked out.”

Principal Fisk clasped her hands together. “So am I.” Loud teenagers began to file into the classroom. “We will talk about it later.”

Fifty minutes later, the class ended. Trinity was packing to leave when Leigh came through the door.

“Principal Fisk just told me Garrett Martindale is going to be here on Friday,” she said.

“Yeah. She told me.” Trinity let out a soft breath.

“Will you tell me what is going on?” Leigh waved her arms in the air. “Don't give me that ‘we are just friends' stuff. I'm don't buy it. At one time you wanted Garrett to speak to the students. Suddenly you didn't. I feel left out.”

Trinity filled Leigh in on everything that transpired between her and Garrett. She rolled her eyes at the thought of Darius showing up. “Can you believe him? Just out of the blue. Now he's talking about marriage.”

“You still love Darius.”

“That's not the point. When Garrett arrives on Friday, I will be courteous, but that's it.”

“So you're through with
both
of them?” Leigh asked sarcastically.

Trinity sat down. She didn't want to be in a relationship. “Yes, I'm through with both of them.”

“Good. Take the time. Step back and figure out what's going on with you.”

Trinity closed her eyes. “That is exactly what I plan to do. Both of them are getting on my nerves.”

They spoke a few minutes more. The door opened and Leigh's husband, Jake, waltzed into the room. Trinity couldn't help but think that she would love to have a husband and children one day.

“Hello, Jake,” Trinity spoke.

“Hey, girl,” Jake said, then leaned down and kissed his wife. “Hey, baby. Ready to go?”

“We're headed over to Home Depot. Jake is finally going to get around to painting the extra bedroom.”

“Sounds like fun,” Trinity said.

Jake made a face. He didn't look excited about the job. “Can't wait.”

“Oh, c'mon.” Leigh playfully hit him on the arm. She refocused on Trinity. “I'll talk to you tomorrow.”

* * *

Hours later, Trinity laid across her bed, staring up at the ceiling. Her emotions were still reeling from seeing the man she spent the last year trying to get over. Who did he think he was? Darius was in for a surprise if he thought she'd take him back. Emotionally, she was stronger. She wasn't going to be a doormat for Darius or Garrett. She wanted to forget the anger and the isolation she felt when the relationship ended.

In the beginning, Darius was the center of her life. He used to send cards, bring flowers and candy, and leave messages on her machine. She remembered when they first met. He was visiting from Virginia Beach, Virginia. His aunt Dorothea had invited him to church.

Darius loved to come to Washington, D.C., for the diverse nightlight. He was a person who loved to be on the go. He had a reputation with the women. He never came alone, and often had a different one on his arm each week. The women were attractive, but they didn't appear to be much of a mental challenge to Darius.

Trinity often thought about what attracted her to Darius. They had nothing in common. He was a little short for her taste. His complexion was lighter than she liked. He was Republican. She was a Democrat. Darius thought he knew everything about everything, which led to many stimulating debates.

When Darius's job transferred him to the D.C. area, he moved in with his aunt until he found a place of his own. He still enjoyed the nightclubs, but attended church every Sunday to keep his aunt off his back.

After four months of living with relatives, Darius found a two-bedroom condominium in Woodbridge, Maryland, and invited her to his housewarming. She reluctantly agreed.

The day of the party arrived. Trinity decided to bring a plant. She didn't want the gift to be personal.

At four o'clock, she rang the doorbell. Darius answered the door. Dressed in a Virginia Tech sweatshirt, jeans, and Timberland boots, he looked handsome. She tried to push aside the images running through her mind, but it was difficult. It was as if she were seeing him for the first time. Nervous, she ran a hand over her sundress.

“Hi, Trinity.” Darius seemed genuinely happy to see her.

“Hi to you, too,” Trinity said and smiled. “Looks like the housewarming is going well.” Darius followed her gaze and saw his guests mingling happily.

“Just a few family and friends.” He stepped aside, allowing her to come inside. “Come on in. Can I get you something? Wine? Soda? Juice?”

“Soda is fine,” Trinity said, looking around at stacks of boxes. “Still getting settled?”

He ran a hand over his head. “Yeah, slow getting started,” Darius said as he surveyed the work he'd been putting off for a week. “Maybe you can come by and give me a hand.”

Trinity didn't respond. She trailed him into the kitchen. She had an opportunity to admire him from behind. He looked good in jeans. They fit his nice, firm butt perfectly. Not too loose, not too tight, but just right.

“I hope you don't mind a paper cup.” He reached inside the cabinet and handed her a blue Dixie cup. His biceps bulged as he moved. “I haven't unpacked the glasses.”

Trinity couldn't help but imagine how she'd feel if he embraced her in those arms. “A paper cup is fine.”

He poured Sprite in the cup and handed it to her. “Here you go, beautiful.”

Trinity rolled her eyes. ‘You say that to all the ladies.”

“Only when it's true.” Trinity didn't miss the sparkle in his eyes.

“Well, it won't work here.” Trinity turned to leave. Darius halted her with a hand. She looked at him like he'd lost his mind. “Excuse you.”

Darius reluctantly removed his hand. He was grateful for the opportunity to touch her. “Trinity, why won't you go out with me?” He smiled at her and watched her take a sip. He never knew watching someone drink could be so sexy.

“And become one of many? I don't think so, Darius. I want to be a man's one and only.”

“It won't be like that, Trinity.”

She took another sip. “How do I know that?”

“It's just something about you that's different. Special. I don't know what it is, but I'm dying to find out.”

Trinity blushed. She really wanted to go out with Darius. But she didn't trust him as far as she could throw him. “I don't trust you, Darius.”