It's Complicated (56 page)

“
A Wrinkle in Time
! Tesseracts and IT. I remember reading that in—what? Fourth grade?” He chuckled to himself. “I remember wondering if that was where my dad really was. On another planet, desperately trying to find his way back to me.”

Her eyes filled with tears and he regretted his words. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I should have—”

“No. Of course you should share.” Her chin shook and her voice wavered. “We should share. I’ve spent most of my adult life hiding from everyone and everything important, trying to pretend I didn’t have a huge hole inside me, Alex. I’ve turned men away—nice men. Good men. I’ve avoided the respectful and sweet guys because I didn’t think I was worth it. Crafting a life that doesn’t make you vulnerable leaves you with a facsimile of one.” Her voice hitched, a sob catching her. “I didn’t realize that until now.”

The fact that she was being vulnerable with him, opening up and talking about her inner truth made him fall a little more in love. Stretching his arm around her, he pulled her into an embrace, the feel of her body against his like their own little world.

“We’re not so different,” he murmured in her ear, the rain now beating steadily down on them, dewy but persistent. “I have a hard time trusting people, too. You’re the first woman I’ve cared about enough to publicly humiliate myself in front of, well—ever.”

She laughed through her tears, her body shaking against his, the feel of her in his arms so right. His neck was damp, and now the rain came down steadily. Josie didn’t seem to care, and neither did he. It transported them to a secret garden, a lush, bountiful place where they could just breathe and be.

“When you smacked into that post—”

“I was trying to be manly and run fast and powerfully to outdo the guy on the porch you were touching, Josie. I was jealous. I don’t get jealous. Being jealous means being attached and I don’t do that. You made me do that.”

“It’s my fault you smashed up your face?”

“No. I own that. It’s your fault I ran by in the first place.” Their eyes met and hers explored his face searching and confirming what they both seemed to feel.

“What is this, Alex?” she asked, eyes wide and intense.

“It’s something.”

She laughed, a small, wistful sound. “That night we were in the park, while we were making love, I started to say ‘I love you.’”

“I know.”

“I didn’t cover it up well, did I?” Her hand brushed his wet hair away from his forehead. At the moment her fingertips touched him, he felt a wall inside crumble, a wellspring of love for her pouring out from behind it. “It’s not something I generally blurt out.”

“Josie, I love you, too,” he said, the words so natural it was as if he were saying them for the thousandth time, something inside him expanding, taking her in and mingling their souls together to create something greater than both of them.

The rain made her hair cling to her cheekbones in thin strands, drops forming on her nose and eyelids, mingling with her tears. Those brown eyes, warm and loving, connected with his and said more now than ever before.

But her lips spoke exactly what he needed to know. “And I love you, Alex. I’ve never said that to any man before.”

“If I have any say, you’ll never say it to another man, either,” he replied, pulling her closer, his lips brushing hers, her hands sliding under his arms and palms wrapping around his shoulders, their bodies unfolding to match their revealed hearts. The faded wooden bench, ivy wrapped around its feet, pressed into his back as Josie stretched to climb into his lap, straddling him, her hands on either side of his face, their mouths welcoming and exploring each other.

“Deal,” she whispered against his mouth.

The heavens parted and rain poured down in large raindrops, soon soaking their shirts. Josie pulled away from the kisses and tipped her head up, smiling. Alex did the same, watching the sky pour its approval onto them, nature’s baptism, as if washing clean all the awkwardness, missteps, regrets, and fears.

A wave of desire roared within, hands sliding under her wet shirt, cupping her breasts as she looked down at him, fire in her eyes, the power of her next kiss slamming into him, going straight to his core, making him hard in seconds. What had been tender yielded to something visceral and breathtaking, accessed only through love. No more questions, no more uncertainties—this was their authentic selves meeting naked and fully ready for one another, to see what passion they could unleash on a new plane of existence.

Pure love. Pure lust. Pure acceptance.

And, most of all, the full admittance that they were imperfect and could be imperfect
together
.

Josie broke the kiss, climbing off him and standing before him, chest rising and falling with deep, feverish breaths, her hand outstretched.
Take me
, it said.

And so Alex did.

I

Love

You.

Who knew those words could be spoken so easily when meant so fully? All that she had wanted, dreamt of, imagined, and conjured now appeared before her as Alex stood up, the rain pouring down him in rivers, his hand clasping hers as she led him to a soft spot of grass under the canopied pergola. The greenery interwoven into the wood redirected the water, long streams pouring at uneven intervals. Slowly, with movement that felt timeless, she reached for him, her arms around his waist, his hands in her soaked hair, their lips bruising each other's, tongues intertwined as tremors ran through her, not from cold but from the sheer force of emotion her body contained.

She needed to unleash it.

He knew how.

Bending her down, they rested on their knees, unable to unravel from the embrace, his hands peeling off her shirt, her hands happy to do the same to him. With a rushed excitement Josie found her legs muddy, the grass a wet mattress of nature, Alex’s torso the only heat she needed. Her fingers nimbly undid his pants as he reached in his back pocket for the condom.

She stopped him. “I’m on the pill.”

Trust. “I didn’t know that,” he rasped in her ear.

“I never told you. I just…it’s okay now.” She took a deep sigh and confessed, “I’ve never made love with someone without a condom.”

“Never?” His voice was so tantalizing, making her throb, wanting him in her. The rain poured down, her body soaked through, whatever clothing she had left now a second skin.

“You’re the first.”

“And last,” he said, guiding himself and entering her, their bodies wet and slippery as he towered over her, arms on either side of her, eyes steady and burning with love for her.

“Oh, Alex,” she moaned, the heat and fullness of him, the skin-on-skin contact so different. So vibrant and hot. Her insides grew and melted, shimmering and shaking as a wave built within her, something greater than all her prior climaxes combined. This one would be infused with love, a deep, flowing emotion between them that was perpetual and eternal.

“Oh,” he sighed, then began to move, her legs wrapping around him. Then she remembered.

“Your hip! Your shoulder!” she called out, the rain now so loud it drowned out everything but her own pleasure and the touch of him, the push of his body into hers, the sheer wall of man over her. “Are you sure you can—”

“Josie, the day I’m too injured to do this, with you, outside in our own little garden of lust, is the day you can bury me.”

Instead of laughter, a keen sense of something loving filled her. “Then I’m sad we only have seventy more years of this.”

“Better enjoy every minute,” he said in a low, smoky voice, water dripping off his body, drops clinging to his taut, sculpted muscles as he thrust into her, making the words disappear. The giant wave rose great within, her heart expanding with it, and Alex’s body tensed just as her own froze, the exquisite joy of his heat, mouth, body grinding into hers the perfect complement to the words they’d shared.

“Oh, Alex, I—” And then she tipped over, walls tight around him, the core of her touched by his flesh, each stroke like a prayer of love, driving deep into her center, taking up residence permanently.

“Let go,” he urged, his own body going taut, jaw tight and mouth crushing into hers as her calves felt his ass become granite, his hips slowed to smaller thrusts, and he let out a sound of ecstasy that matched her own cries of release, the vibration blending with the rush of rain, an ending to a perfect beginning.

With Dr. Perfect.

As her body tremored, then slowed, finally warm and glowing from the aftermath of joining so thoroughly with Alex, Josie wrinkled her nose, then wiped water off her face. Drenched. Inside and out, half naked with Alex still inside her, in a little garden behind a public library.

Reality sank in and she began to laugh. His warm eyes, covered in pelting drops, rivulets of water streaming down the planes of his face, studied her.

Thunder rumbled and two seconds later a crack from the sky made her tighten involuntarily, the shattering glass sound a little too close. “We need to get out of here,” she said, memorizing this moment, their bare skin touching, bodies on the grass, mud-soaked and all-too primal.

Alex kissed the tip of her nose and pulled out, then peeled away, searching in the grass for his clothes. “I think these are yours,” he said, flinging a mud-covered pair of shorts at her. The
thwack
against her chest made them both laugh.

“Here’s your underwear!” she shouted above another rumble of thunder, aiming for his head. Direct hit. Both were now streaked with mud, their backs covered, faces smeared.

Their clothes were about as easy to put on as threading cooked spaghetti through a straw, but Alex and Josie managed to cover enough important parts to avoid breaking any local nudity ordinances.

“You look like you just ran a Tough Mudder,” she said, pointing and laughing.

“I’d say the same of you, but you don’t run.”

Throwing herself into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist, she kissed him with complete abandon and joy, the rain washing some of the mud off, until the sky crackled and Mother Nature poured what felt like buckets over them. Sliding down, she finished the kiss standing, the taste of him divine.

“We gotta go!” he bellowed, pulling her toward their cars.

“So—what’s next? Where do we go from here?” she shouted. It wasn’t so much an operational question, as in what to do next, but more metaphysical. Where did they go from here? What do you do when you find your true love? How do you go from being profoundly changed back to your life?

What, literally, comes next?

“How about a cup of coffee? I know this really cool diner…”

Josie groaned.

Jeddy’s it was.

But no more table for one.

THE END

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