It's an Aardvark-Eat-Turtle World

BOOK: It's an Aardvark-Eat-Turtle World
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ONE BATHROOM, FOUR PEOPLE . . .

Phoebe's always had boyfriends. Moving here, she almost immediately started going with Dave. I, who have lived here for years, am going to the concert with the Little Nerdlet.

I go out to use the bathroom, the only one in the house. There's already someone in it. As I cross my legs, I think about the place where Jim and Phoebe used to live before they moved in with us. It had two bathrooms in the house and one in the pool cabana, and that was just for the two of them.

Now there are four people living in a house with only one bathroom.

Maybe we should assign each person certain days when they have to limit their liquid intake.

BOOKS BY PAULA DANZIGER

The Cat Ate My Gymsuit

The Divorce Express

It's an Aardvark-Eat-Turtle World

The Pistachio Prescription

There's a Bat in Bunk Five

This Place Has No Atmosphere

PUFFIN BOOKS

Published by the Penguin Group

Penguin Group (USA) LLC

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New York, New York 10014

USA * Canada * UK * Ireland * Australia

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penguin.com

A Penguin Random House Company

Originally published in 1985 by Delacorte Press

Published by Puffin Books,

a division of Penguin Putnam Books for Young Readers, 2000

This edition published by Puffin Books,

a division of Penguin Young Readers Group, 2007

Copyright © 1985 by Paula Danziger

Introduction copyright © 2014 by Ann M. Martin

Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing Penguin to continue to publish books for every reader.

THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS HAS CATALOGED THE PREVIOUS PUFFIN BOOKS EDITION AS FOLLOWS:

Danziger, Paula. 1944-2004

It's an aardvark-eat-turtle world / Paula Danziger.

Summary: When Rosie and her mother form a new family with Rosie's best friend and her father, Rosie finds that it takes a lot of work to make a family in a world of changing relationships.

ISBN: 978-1-101-66581-7

[1. Remarriage—Fiction. 2. Stepfamilies—Fiction. 3. Friendship—Fiction]

I. Title.

PZ7.D2394 It 2000 [Fic]—dc21   99-056194

Version_1

TO THE MENSCHES—Jane and Happy Traum
and THE MENSCHLINGS—Merry, Adam
and April (who said, “I'll believe it when I see it.”)

Contents

One Bathroom, Four People

Books by Paula Danziger

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

A Note From Paula

Introduction

Acknowledgments

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Special Excerpt from
The Divorce Express

A NOTE FROM PAULA

After a reader finishes a book, he or she often wonders, “What happens next?” It's the same sometimes with authors. We also wonder about that. Sometimes we just keep wondering. Sometimes we write sequels.

After finishing
The Divorce Express
, I wanted to see how it all worked out with Phoebe and Rosie and their parents. I decided to write
It's an Aardvark-Eat-Turtle World
.

For a long time, I wrote the book from Phoebe's point of view, but she was so angry that the book was difficult to write. I was really having a problem with it.

Then a friend called. “I think I know what's wrong,” she said. She felt that Phoebe's anger was really getting in the way, that it was hard for me to show humor, and then she asked me, “Which girl do you like better? Which one would you rather have as narrator?” The answer was Rosie, and once I figured that out the rewriting began and the book took shape.

Relationships always interest me, and I loved exploring the changing friendship of best friends who become practically sisters. I also
liked exploring the parents' relationships and those of the girls and their boyfriends. Obviously the “blending” of the family was also important.

Once all of this was defined, I could finish the book . . . and I did.

Sometimes, I wonder, “What is happening to Rosie and Phoebe now?” . . . but I guess I'll just keep wondering . . . and hope that the readers care enough to wonder too.

—Paula Danziger

INTRODUCTION

If a Prince Charming or a Prince Semi-Charming came up to my door and said, “Rosie Wilson, you are the most beautiful, individualistic fourteen-year-old in the universe,” I certainly wouldn't slam the door in his face.

This is the first line of Paula Danziger's hilarious and moving
It's an Aardvark-Eat-Turtle World
. First lines fascinate me, and this one says a lot about Paula, her stories, and her characters. The author of over thirty titles for young adult readers, Paula was known for capturing her audience with her uncanny ability to tap into teenage psyches—to write realistically and unflinchingly about families, divorce, friendship, first love, insecurity, and injustice, and to do so with a wicked sense of humor. It's rare for a reader to find herself laughing out loud, then just a few sentences later, searching for tissues in order to wipe away tears. Paula courted difficult, sometimes controversial subjects; her self-effacing characters and her love of humor made her books compelling reading.

Paula herself was as memorable as any character she created. She made friends wherever she went and was passionate about them. Somehow each of us felt as if we were Paula's
best
friend. She was flamboyant and flashy. She tied colorful scarves around her head, wore as many oversize rings as possible on her fingers, and shopped with great joy for glittery sneakers and sequined purses. She liked video games and slot machines. She once managed to light one of her fake fingernails on fire. The first time I spent a weekend at her house, she offered me a breakfast of Coke, M&Ms, and Circus Peanuts.

Paula was a marvel of disorganization. I've never seen anything like the inside of her purse. It was a jumble of
loose bills and coins, receipts, lipstick cases, candy, lint, notebooks, keys. She frequently lost her keys, or thought she had, and a dramatic search would ensue before they were located, surprise, at the bottom of her purse. Her desk was worse, overflowing with larger items.

Yet out of this chaos sprang books that have resonated with readers for decades. Paula's first book,
The Cat Ate My Gymsuit
, was published in 1974. Thirteen-year-old Marcy, the protagonist, may wear panty hose, buy records for her stereo, and never have heard of cell phones, but it doesn't matter because she faces the same issues contemporary kids face:

All my life I've thought that I looked like a baby blimp with wire-frame glasses and mousy brown hair. Everyone always said that I'd grow out of it, but I was convinced that I'd become an adolescent blimp with wire-frame glasses, mousy brown hair, and acne.

Marcy's story continues in
There's a Bat in Bunk Five
when she experiences her first love while at summer camp:

This thing with Ted isn't a crush. . . . What if I let myself start to care and get hurt? I'm not sure I can survive a broken heart. I get hurt so easily anyway, so I've never let myself get too close to a guy, not that there have been that many opportunities. I'm scared. What if it turns into a real relationship and it's as bad as my parents' marriage?

In
The Pistachio Prescription
Paula tackles divorce as Cassie Stephens's family begins to crumble. In later books, other characters face the aftermath of divorce, but this story chronicles the Stephenses' slide from dysfunctional, a theme Paula visits often, to separation. In a scene from the beginning of the book, Cassie visits her friend Vicki:

We sit down with her parents. Nobody fights at the Norton house. At least not while I'm there. Vicki says that they do
fight sometimes, but that it's psychologically healthy to air feelings honestly. I don't know if my family does it honestly, but if awards were given on the basis of yelling, we'd win the Mental Health Award of the century. I guess we'd probably be disqualified, though, on the basis of lack of sanity.

I smiled when I read that paragraph. But later the tone of the story changes:

[My father] walks over. “Cassie, I'm sorry it didn't work out. I guess your mother's right. There's no use pretending we can get along. It's over and that's all there is to it.”

That's all.

As simple as that.

Three kids.

A broken-up family.

Yet the ending is hopeful. Cassie realizes her family may not be the one she wishes for, but that she'll survive.

Rearrange the letters in the word PARENTS and you get the word ENTRAPS
. This's how
The Divorce Express
begins. Four years after the publication of
The Pistachio Prescription
Paula writes about Phoebe, who shuttles between her father's home in Woodstock, New York, and her mother's home in New York City. Travel is the least of Phoebe's concerns, though. Now her parents are seeing other people:

Maybe I'm a prude, but I don't like to think about my parents having sex with anyone but each other
.

Phoebe analyzes the stages parents go through when they get divorced:

. . .
the fighting and anger—then the distance—and making me feel caught in the middle. After the divorce they try to be “civilized.” I know that there were even times that they missed each other. I know for a fact that after the divorce they even slept with each other once in a while. It was confusing. Now they act like people who have a past history together, but only a future of knowing each other because of me
.

By the end of
The Divorce Express
, Phoebe's father has fallen in love with the mother of Rosie, Phoebe's new best friend, and their story continues in
It's an Aardvark-Eat-Turtle World
, told from Rosie's point of view. All Rosie wants is a happy family, but Phoebe doesn't make that easy. Furthermore, Rosie, who's biracial, faces issues that Phoebe can't fathom, and once again, Paula writes candidly about a sensitive subject, illustrated in this scene when Rosie goes on a date with a boy who's white:

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