It's All in Your Mind (14 page)

Mama allowed herself a small smile.

"If there are no complications in the next three weeks, healing should be almost complete in six weeks."

Mama flinched when the doctor said "complications" but she looked hopeful. There was more information, but the blood pounding in my brain drowned it out. I was wondering about Papa's customers. They'd understand for a few days. But after that? I couldn't let Papa lose his business. I would have to do the work.

The doctor said we all could see Papa tomorrow during regular visiting hours, but Mama was allowed a few minutes with him. When she came out of the room she looked tired, and older. "He's so pale."

Karl put his arm around Mama. "I'll bet he'll look better by the time we visit him tomorrow."

There was nothing more we could do but go home and pray, and see what tomorrow would bring. Joel offered to drive me back to the house. I shook my head. "Thank you, but you've done so much already. I can ride home with Karl."

"Just call if you need anything," Joel said. "I'll be there in a flash."

I nodded, suddenly feeling too tired and numb to speak.

"And take care of yourself." Joel lifted my chin, so I would have to look him in the eyes. "Promise?"

Again I nodded, but this time I managed a small smile too.

On the way home, Mama sat up front with Karl, Caprice and I together in back. The ride was stone silent until Karl stopped at Caprice's house. It looked like a black hole in the neighborhood, not a single light of welcome. "I guess my mother is 'out,'" Caprice said, anger clinging to the edge of her voice.

"C'mon," Karl said. "I'll walk you to the door."

Caprice mumbled goodnight to me and Mama as Karl held the door open for her. Their figures were nothing but shadowy outlines that almost disappeared by the time they reached the house. If they kissed, I didn't see it. I reached into the front seat and rested my hand on Mama's shoulder. It was so quiet. I could almost hear a tear slide down her cheek as she touched my fingers.

A light went on inside Caprice's house, and a minute later Karl was back and driving us home. When we got there, I thought Mama might want to talk, but she kissed me and Karl goodnight and went right to her room.

"She needs her rest," Karl said. He ran his hand up his forehead and across his short Navy haircut. "How can I go half way around the world with Papa in the hospital?"

"Papa will be all right," I said. "The doctor all but said so. I know Mama is worried, but she's strong." I paused, then said, "And I'm here."

"Yes," Karl said. "You are here."

"I'm going to help Mama, and I'm going to take over Papa's work until he's well enough to do it."

Karl studied me for a moment. "I believe you will. And I can help you this week."

"No. You have such a short time before you have to go.
Besides, Mama needs you with her. I'll be fine." I cleared my throat. "I think I'm beginning to understand what Caprice sees in you." I had to joke, otherwise my voice would crack.

"And I'm starting to understand what she sees in
you
," Karl kidded back. He kissed my forehead. "It's been a long night. I'll see you in the morning."

Once in my room, I debated with myself over whether or not to call Nolan. It was late, but I wanted to tell him about Papa. Nolan was a night
-owl, so he would probably still be awake. I decided to call. If he didn't answer by the third ring, I would just hang up.

I dialed, hesitating before completing the last number. A shock flew through my finger
—the line was busy. Okay ... maybe someone called for a last-minute gig. I waited a couple minutes and tried again. Busy. Again. Busy. Again. Busy. After forty-five minutes, I gave up. Who would Nolan be talking to for so long? Sarah, Danielle, Elizabeth, or some other voice from the past? Or maybe a bronze-haired beauty spilling out of her bikini, a girl he'd met at the beach?

How dare he be on the phone when I needed to talk to him about Papa! How dare he be on the phone with another girl at all! I grabbed a pillow and slammed it into the mattress. How dare he! My mouth felt like dry paper.

After what must have been a few minutes, I realized I was sitting there, frozen, my fingers still clutching the pillow. This was doing nobody any good. I needed to get to sleep, or at least try. I had so much to do tomorrow. Chewing out Nolan would just have to wait.

Chapter Nine

Though I turned and tossed and kicked the blankets on the floor, I must have gotten some sleep because I flew almost to the ceiling when my alarm clock went off. But I felt like a dead battery. It took great concentration to charge myself up enough to climb out of bed.

As I pulled on my clothes, I realized I didn't even kn
ow yet where I'd be working. I hated to bother Mama, but I would have to check with her. I decided I would make breakfast, but when I got downstairs she had already baked a loaf of fresh
saldskabmaize
. Karl was seated at the kitchen table. He reminded me of Papa, the way he slathered a slab of the sweet-sour rye bread with poppy butter.

"Mmm, smells good," I said as I sat down.

Mama looked over from the stove, where she was frying eggs.  Her face had that all-business look, like when she was doing the bookkeeping. "Vija, you're wearing those clothes to the hospital?"

"I have to, Mama. I'll visit Papa, but then I have to go to work. Whose yards was Papa supposed to do today?"

Mama slid the spatula under an egg. It popped and crackled as she turned it over. For a moment, she didn't say anything. I heard her take a deep breath, then let it out in slow, shaky spurts. She turned around. I could see her blinking back tears. "You have a good breakfast first. Then I'll get out the schedule for you."

"Thanks." I decided the best thing I could do for Mama was to eat a hearty breakfast, and try to act as normal as possible. I was pleased that she didn't try to talk me out of taking over for Papa. It would ease that worry for her, and for Papa.

Karl drove Mama to the hospital, and I followed in the truck. Papa was allowed only two visitors at a time. Mama told me to go first, since I had work to do. I tiptoed into the room. Papa looked so still and pale, but he smiled when he saw me.

"You look as if you are working today," Papa said.

"I am." I squeezed Papa's hand.

"Be sure to drink plenty of lemonade," Papa said. "And work in the shade as much as you can when the sun is hottest."

"I will." I was glad that Mama and Papa trusted me to do the job.

Papa gave me a few reminders about each yard, and then I left. Mama erased the look of worry from her face just before she and Karl went in to see Papa.

All the homes I had to tend to were in Chatfield. I was glad. The yards were smaller, fewer people had hedges, and the customers were not as picky as those in Monroe. The Chatfield customers were mostly older people who were grateful there was somebody affordable to do their yard work for them.

I wasn't used to working by myself. I found that, though the morning was cool, even the easiest job seemed harder and took longer than when I helped Papa. I had to take more breaks. Fortunately, it wasn't a problem. In Chatfield it seemed as if all I had to do was stop to wipe my brow and someone would emerge from the house with a glass of lemonade or ice water for me.

It was past one o'clock when I realized I had not stopped for lunch. I hadn't packed a sandwich because I was so close to home. By the time I got there, Mama and Karl had finished eating. Karl was on his way out the door to see if he could catch Caprice on a break at Shopsave.

"Good news," Karl said. "The doctors said Papa is doing much better today. They sounded very optimistic."

"That's great!" I was glad for Papa, and for Mama. But I was also glad for myself. I didn't mind helping out for a few weeks. But I knew I would not want to have to drop out school to take over Papa's work permanently. I felt a little bit selfish, thinking that way. But, I told myself, Mama and Papa would not want that for me either. They were proud when Karl joined the Navy, but they wanted me to go to college. And if Karl did not decide to re-enlist in the Navy, I know they would want him to go to college too some day.

After relaxing at home for lunch, and seeing that Mama was optimistic about Papa's condition, I went back to work with renewed energy. The tasks seemed to get easier as I went along. Customers asked about Papa, but, Chatfield being the small town it was, most people already knew he was in the hospital, and they offered their best wishes.

The only problem with things going smoothly was that it gave me too much time to think about Nolan. I used the small hand clippers on the azaleas in Mr. Platt's yard. With each snip I pictured another swath of Nolan's dark curls falling to the ground until he was bald. Snip. How dare he! Snip. I wasn't going to ignore it. Snip. It was one thing to eyeball every pretty girl in sight. Snip. It was another to talk to one of them for half the night! Snip.

I started planning exactly how I was going to tell him off. I outlined a rough draft in my mind of what I was going to say. I wasn't going to accuse of him of anything. Not at first. I'd start off just mentioning that I'd tried to call him, but the line was busy. He'd probably tell me he was on the phone for only a couple minutes. Then I'd let him have it. I'd tell him I tried to call him for forty-five minutes. See if he could worm his way out of that! Oh, he would try to make some excuse. But I would have none of it. Then he would apologize. He'd tell me how that girl meant nothing to him. He would promise to make it up to me. I'd tell him I'd think about it.

I looked down at Mr. Platt's azaleas. He liked them trimmed just a little. Mrs. Platt always wanted them more shaped. Well, they certainly were shaped now. I tried to fluff up the branches a little, so they'd look casual, as if they didn't care. Maybe that way both Mr. and Mrs. Platt would be happy. I hoped so.

I decided I'd better keep my mind on my work for the rest of the afternoon. Two lawns, a small hedge, and some serious weeding of Mrs. Buell's flower bed later, and I was done for the day. Though I was tired, I decided to stop at Shopsave and see if I could talk to Caprice.

Caprice was checking, but said she had a break coming up in a few minutes. I leafed through some magazines, and read that Elizabeth Taylor signed a contract to play Cleopatra. She'd get a million dollars! With that news lingering in my mind, I met Caprice out back. Instead of a cigarette, she had a cup of coffee.

"I see Karl is a good influence on you," I teased.

"I hope I can keep it up," Caprice said. "I had a late lunch hour and went with Karl and your mother to visit your father. He's ready to leave the hospital already." She chuckled. "The nurses say he doesn't want to stay in bed."

"Maybe that's a good sign."

"I think so. He said he doesn't like being 'fussed over.'"

"That sounds like Papa."

"Yes." Caprice sipped her coffee. Then she looked at me as if she wanted to say something. Finally, she did. "The first time I saw Karl my heart almost popped out of my chest. I didn't know what to do about it then. When I was fourteen, I decided it was time to make an all-out effort to make him my boyfriend." Caprice took another sip of coffee.

"I waited for him outside the locker room after soccer practice one day and practically tackled him. I poured my heart out to him. Can you believe that?" Caprice arched an eyebrow. "I went on and on about how I loved him, and I was old enough to be his girlfriend. I didn't hold anything back." She forced a small laugh, but a blush crept into her cheeks.

"For what seemed forever Karl didn't say a word. Finally he reached into his pocket, pulled out a dime, and handed it to me. He told me to call him when I was 'grown up.' I was so insulted I vowed to never speak to him again."

I wondered why she was telling me all this now. But I didn't say anything. I just waited.

Caprice took a long pull on her cup of coffee. Then she looked straight into my eyes. "That's why I wanted to stop being Spit Sisters. I couldn't bear to be around Karl. When I saw the girls he dated, I tried to look as different from them as I could. When he graduated from high school last year, I was glad. When I heard he joined the Navy, I was thrilled that there would no longer be a chance that I might run into him."

Caprice traced her finger around the edge of the cup. "But when I heard he was going to be stationed half-way around the world, in place where he might be in who-knows-how-much danger, I had to see him. I decided I was grown up enough to make use of that dime. At the party I handed it to him. He accepted it with a smile. That gave me the courage to give him a small picture of me. And, well, you pretty much know what happened after that."

I nodded.

"But the main thing," Caprice said, "is that I wanted you to know why I stopped hanging out with you. I can't believe I was such a ratfink. I'm so sorry." She gave me a quick hug.

A tiny little speck of me wondered if the whole business of her hanging out with me again wasn't
just
because of Karl. It certainly was part of it. But we'd been good friends before, and we shared a lot of history. It felt good to have her as a friend again. If things worked out with her and Karl, some day she'd be my sister-in-law, and I'd have to get along with her anyway. I returned Caprice's hug. "Hey, no sweat."