It Was Me (8 page)

I automatically reached for my pocket, which I realized was empty. “I'm really not sure. I don't think I've touched my phone since we got back. It's still in my bag.”

Abby tapped my knee and shook her head, silently reprimanding me.

“Not a bad thing to play a little hard to get,” her dad said with a wink in the rearview mirror.

I just nodded and glanced out my window. The sun was gone and lots of small white lights dotted the dark desert landscape. I wasn't sure if I was playing hard to get or what I was doing. I'd dropped the phone in my bag after Abby had texted Coach Childs and I hadn't really given it another thought, especially with the shock of seeing Annika show up. I'd been too preoccupied with her presence to think about baseball and then I'd forgotten to grab it before we'd left for dinner.

Which was fine. I didn't need to be preoccupied with baseball. I was actually dreading the fact that teams might be interested in me. In too many ways, it would've been easier if they all would've dismissed me. Then I would've known there was nothing there for me and I could've just moved on and not had to worry about Abby and I being together.

But I was already anxious about the meeting at Arizona the next morning. There were too many what-ifs running through my head and I wasn't coming up with any answers.

As we pulled back up to the resort, I was starting to wish that I'd never agreed to come on the Sellers family vacation.

FOURTEEN

My night with Abby was thwarted by her sister.

What a surprise.

After we'd gotten back from dinner, Abby's parents had immediately disappeared into their room, leaving the three of us sitting awkwardly in the living room. Annika had pulled out some giant bag and parked herself at the coffee table, her fingers splayed out on the table, painting her nails with a bright purple paint. Abby curled up next to me on the couch and Annika immediately raised her eyebrow.

“Hope you two don't have any ideas on some sort of midnight rendezvous,” she said. “I'm a light sleeper and the last thing I need to hear is the two of you getting hot and heavy.”

“Get some earplugs,” Abby said, kissing my ear lightly.

“I swear,” Annika said, her eyes focused on her nails as she brushed her nails. “I'll vomit on both of you. So don't.”

“Whatever.”

“Or maybe I'll just watch,” Annika said, cutting her eyes at us.

“Jesus Christ,” I muttered.

“He won't help you,” Annika shot back. “Nor would he approve.”

Abby's hand found mine. She gave it a quick squeeze and then pulled me off the couch toward the bedroom. Annika made some sort of snorting noise, but we didn't acknowledge her.

Abby pulled me down on one of the beds and wrapped her legs around me.

“We're never gonna get any alone time,” I said, my mouth against the smooth skin along her jawline.

She lifted her hips up into me. “So let her watch.”

I felt myself respond and tried to shake it. “Abs. No way.”

She chuckled softly as we kissed. “I know.”

Her lips were soft and warm and she kissed me gently, over and over, like she was savoring each and every kiss. Her teeth nipped at my lower lip and she drew it into her mouth, sucking gently. I groaned and pushed myself into her and she whimpered.

“Screw it,” I whispered against her mouth. “Let's just let her watch.”

She smiled as she kissed me. “I don't think I want to give her the pleasure.” Her lips slowed against mine until her kisses were feather-light.

I sighed. “So what? I'm gonna have to go to bed all worked up like this?”

Her hand slid down between my legs and I shivered in anticipation. She grasped me through my shorts. “I guess so.”

I shoved myself more fully into her hand.. “Not fair.”

“No, it's really not.”

“You could sneak out and find me in the middle of the night,” I told her. With Annika there, it had made sense for me to move out to the living room. Abby hadn't been happy about the switch, but she also hadn't wanted to share the fold-out couch with her sister, either.

“Maybe.”

“Oh, gross,” Annika said, walking into the room. “I'm gonna throw ice water on you both.”

Her words were, in fact, like ice water and both of us tensed up and I knew the moment was lost. I sighed, kissed Abby goodnight and, ignoring Annika, settled out on the couch for a long, uncomfortable night in the living room.

Alone.

I was awake early in the morning, a combination of restless sleep and the desert sun streaming in through the living room window. I stared at the ceiling, random thoughts running through my head. I thought about Abby in bed, alone, and how badly I wanted to slip in between the sheets next to her. I thought about her sister sleeping in the bed next to her and how I'd be absolutely okay if she never woke up again. And then I thought about baseball. Because it occurred to me that, after telling Mr. Sellers that I hadn't checked my phone the day before, I'd come back from the restaurant and failed to check my phone again.

I pulled myself off the couch and found my bag, digging through it until I located my cell. I sank back down on the sofa bed and punched the button. The screen lit up, indicating four texts, five missed calls and five voicemails. I checked the phone log and didn't recognize any of the numbers. I opened the voicemail and held the phone to my ear.

Three different scouts from the tryout. Two of them had called twice. All of the messages were different versions of asking me to call them back when I got the message. The texts were from the same callers with the same message. Call them back.

I set the phone down on my stomach, which was now filled with something akin to iron butterflies. Based on what the one scout said to me at the workout, I shouldn't have been surprised to hear from teams, but my own self-doubt still made it a little surreal to absorb the idea that professional baseball teams were interested in me. And while I should've been jumping up and down, completely jacked up with excitement, all I could feel was anxiety.

None of the three teams that called had minor league teams anywhere near Southern California. I was looking at the Midwest or the East Coast for sure. Which meant being away from Abby. Which meant I wasn't willing to go, no matter what she said. I knew she'd put up a fight, too. I couldn't even decide whether or not to call the scouts back.

“You look like you've seen a ghost.”

I twisted in the sofa bed.

Annika was standing there in shorts that barely covered her ass and a white tank top that clearly illustrated she was bra-less.

“Did you?” she asked, running a hand through her hair as she headed for the kitchen. “See Casper?”

“No.”

I heard the fridge door open and the sound of a glass hitting the counter. She came back a moment later, a cup of orange juice in her hand. “Well, what the hell's wrong then?”

“None of your business,” I said. “And why are you up?”

She sipped the juice, then shrugged. “Couldn't sleep.”

“Probably tough sleeping in something other than a coffin.”

A corner of her mouth turned upward into something resembling a smile. “I'm a bitch, not a vampire, West.”

“At least you admit it.”

“I'm serious,” she said.

“I know you are,” I said. “I've seen you in action.”

She shook her head. “Not about being a bitch. About you having seen a ghost. What's the matter?”

“I'm fine,” I said.

She stared at me, her eyes so focused that I finally had to look away.

“You aren't fine,” she said. “Even I can see that.”

“I'm fine,” I repeated.

She drained the juice from the glass, took it back to the kitchen and came back. “I didn't know about Stanford.”

“And what you really mean is you can't believe I'm a lot fucking smarter than you,” I said, scowling at her.

“It did come as a bit of a shock.”

“Then you're probably shocked by most people you meet.”

She pointed a finger at me. “Good one. Ha. But, seriously. Why didn't you go?”

“None of your business.”

She rolled her eyes, like she was tired of hearing that. “Okay. I'll find out on my own. But I assume baseball was the reason you got in.”

“You can assume whatever you'd like.”

She stared at me for a long moment. “You know, if you're in this thing with Abby for the long haul, we're gonna have to learn to coexist.”

“We're coexisting just fine.” I knew I was being a dick but I couldn't help it. Annika brought out the worst in me.

“No, we're not,” she said. “I'm trying and you're basically giving me the finger at every opportunity.”

“I'm sure you're used to that.”

She wasn't trying. She'd been a royal bitch at dinner the night before. There might have been moments where she'd made an effort to be contrite—on the path outside the pool, and even sitting here in the living room—but she wasn't consistent. And I knew then that she wasn't really sorry about what had happened. Maybe she was sorry for hurting Abby. But me? She didn't give a shit about me. And she didn't care if I was with her sister or not.

Annika rolled her eyes again and shook her head. “Okay. If that's how you wanna play it, that's fine with me. I know I deserve it.” She gave me a tight smile. “But it takes a lot of energy to stay angry forever.”

I smiled back. I'd be telling Abby the moment she woke up that the deal was off. I was breaking my promise. Because there was no way in hell I was forgiving her sister. “Guess what, sweetheart? I've got energy like you wouldn't believe.”

FIFTEEN

I didn't get the chance to tell her. Because, in a matter of minutes, everyone else in the casita had roused themselves, descending on the kitchen and living room for coffee and food. After a few attempts of trying to get Abby alone, I gave up and excused myself to get ready for my meeting with Coach Childs. I showered quickly and then, standing in the bedroom Abby and her sister were now sleeping in, stood with a towel wrapped around me, hunting for something suitable to wear. I pulled on the only pair of nice shorts I'd brought and was trying to find a shirt when Abby waltzed in, dangling a set of car keys from her fingers.

“These are for you.”

“For me?” I said, confused.

“The car keys,” she said. “So you can get to your meeting.”

“Your dad isn't gonna drive me?”

“He said you could take the car.”

“He trusts me?”

She smiled. “Why wouldn't he?”

I thought for a moment. “I don't know.”

She walked over and folded the keys into my hand. “It's a car, not a nuclear bomb, and he knows you have a driver's license.”

“Why can't you drive?”

“I'm not going,” she said.

“You're not?”

“Why would I?”

“Because I want you to.”

“But aren't you going to be talking about baseball and...stuff?”

“Well, yeah.”

She folded her hand over mine. “I think I might be a little out of place.”

“You're never out of place.”

“In a meeting with you and a baseball coach?” She laughed. “I would be out of place in all kinds of ways.”

“You don't wanna come with?” I asked.

She shrugged. “I'm just not sure it sends the right message, dragging your girlfriend along with you. You need to be there for you. You don't want some coach judging how he feels about you based on the fact that some girl is draped all over you.”

“You don't have to drape yourself. You could just sit.”

“But I usually drape,” she said, wrapping her arms around my neck. “Like this.”

“I sort of like this.”

“But I'm not sure Coach What's-His-Name would.”

“Hmm. I'm sure he'd like you.”

She pushed herself up on her tiptoes and kissed me lightly. “He'll like you. Without me.”

“I wasn't planning on going alone.”

She dropped back down to the flats of her feet. “You'll be great.”

I glanced at the pile of clothing I'd tossed on the bed. “Not if I can't find a shirt to wear.”

Abby stepped away from me for a moment, gave me a sly smile and walked over to the closet. She opened the door, reached in and pulled out a navy blue golf shirt. The sales tag was still attached to the small white tag on the inside of the collar.

She took it off the hanger and handed it to me. “Problem solved.”

I took it. “Where you'd get this?”

“I might've purchased it when I bought your baseball stuff,” she said. “I'm very thorough.”

I laughed, shook my head and pulled it on. “Yeah, you are.”

She folded her arms across her chest. “I just had a feeling.”

I buttoned the button at the neck. “Have I told you how much I love you today?”

She pretended to think for a moment. “No. Not today. You're behind schedule.”

I gathered her in my arms and pulled her close to me. Her eyes softened as she looked up at me. I leaned down and kissed her.

“I love you today,” I whispered.

She laughed. “I love you today, too.”

I kissed her again. “I love you every day.”

“Me too.” She tapped her fingers against my chest. “And you need to get going so you're not late.”

The anxiety I'd woken up with immediately returned. I felt like I was walking into a job interview without knowing what position I was interviewing for or knowing if I was even qualified. Knots formed in my gut and I wished I'd skipped breakfast.

“It'll be fine,” Abby said, reading my mind. “You'll be fine. Just go talk to him. No strings attached. You aren't tied to anything right now.”

I nodded.

“And then come back here and tell me how it went,” she said. “Then we can figure out what's next. One step at a time.”

Easier said than done.