It Was Always You (8 page)

Tears pricked her eyes. “Not now, Thomas. Please. I…I just can’t.”

He kissed her cheek. “I’m thrilled he was there but you know you have some serious explaining to do about his statement.”

“I’m taking her home, Thomas. Close the door.” Cora’s voice rang with authority.

Zoë shut her eyes as they drove away, mad at the tears which hung around. Low music thrummed around her. Cora pulled off the road and Zoë cracked open her eyes.

“What are we doing?” She angled her head to look at her friend. “I thought you were taking me home.”

“Change of plans.” She pointed forward. “You’re getting a better offer and one I think you need more than you need me.”

“What are you talking about?” Zoë stared out the windshield. A large truck pulled up before them and her heart sped up at her recognition of the vehicle. “Zane.”

He strode from the driver’s side and walked to her door, opening it. “I’m taking you home, baby.” He flashed a look to Cora. “Thanks.”

“Take care of her,” Cora said. “And, Zane, thanks for being there.” Cora gave her a quick hug and kiss before Zane undid her belt and carried Zoë to his truck.

He sat her on the driver’s seat and cupped her face, staring at her in the glow of his interior light. Cora’s lights swept over them as she continued on her way, leaving them alone.

“Zoë.”

Her name fell from his lips like the first snow—soft, gentle, and purifying. She trembled with the extent of the raw emotions pounding her shoulders with unrelenting waves, weighing her down. He leaned close, lips by her ear, his warm breath fanning over her skin.

“Hold on, baby.”

Three words that began to tilt her world to rights. She didn’t argue or even speak when he slid her over just enough to get behind the wheel. As he drove, she rested her head against his upper arm, wanting to be held by him. Wrapped in the safe cocoon he provided. Where nothing could harm her or scare her.

Zane didn’t demand conversation and she was grateful. She needed to regroup, shore up her defenses.

Her cell lit up with an incoming call and she worried her lower lip as she stared at the bright screen. MOM. She ignored the call, put the phone down only to pick it up again. Slicing her gaze to the large, silent man beside her, she noticed he merely glanced to the screen but didn’t say a word.

She rubbed her throat before texting.
I’m okay. Going to bed. Love you both.
Then she turned it over on her lap and stared out the windshield as he drove them down the dark road.

Her eyes fluttered open when his truck rattled over the cattle grate. She sat, comprehension settling in on how she’d fallen asleep.

After he parked, Zane lifted her in his arms, carrying her to the large three-story house he grew up in. His strides were sure as they approached the front door. She pushed her face into his chest and listened to the solid firm beating of his heart. It soothed her.

“How are you doing, Zoë?”

“Leave her alone, Cade. You can talk to her in the morning.”

“I hope you know what you’re doing, Zane.” Cade’s tone was rough with worry.

“I have absolute confidence in what I’m doing.”

After he carried her up the stairs, she opened her eyes when the sound of a door swinging to, reached her. He placed her on the floor by his bed and cupped her face once more.

“Are
you
okay, Zane?” she asked, touching the slight bruise on his right cheekbone.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. Can I get you anything?”

She shook her head. “Just hold me, please.”

Zane didn’t make her ask again. He stripped her and after a brief shower, covered her with one of his shirts. It fell to mid-thigh on her and smelled like him. He took her hand and guided her to the bed where together they climbed beneath the blankets. He pressed her to him and she got as close as she possibly could, all the while wishing she could just crawl inside him. He was strong. He would keep her safe.

“Let it go, baby, just let it go.”

Like that was all her body had been waiting for, the tears crested the spill gate, streaking down her face, soaking the pillow and his skin. He didn’t pull away, in fact, he held her closer.

“They knocked on the door,” she began, her voice halting. “I went to answer it but didn’t open because I was there alone. When I saw who it was I opened the door. I knew them, they’d been customers for at least a year. Bringing their cars for oil changes, tire rotations, that kind of thing. They have three vehicles between the lot of them.”

Her chin wobbled and her teeth chattered. Zane’s warm hands caressed her skin, offering the support she craved.

“I never should have opened the door. If I hadn’t—”

“No,” he interjected, voice harsh. “Don’t go there, Zoë. This is not your fault in any way. Not in any fucking way. It’s on them.
Not
you.”

“I didn’t want… I tried to…” The tears flowed faster and she shook as the beating replayed in her mind, followed by the knowledge of what they wanted from her afterward. “If you hadn’t…”

“Shhh,” he said. “I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

“What about you? The cops took you away. What’s Sheriff Gavin going to do?”

“Nothing.”

“I saw what you did to those guys.”

“They’re lucky they aren’t dead for daring to lay a hand on you,” he growled. Zane moved back just enough so he could look her in the eyes. “You have nothing to feel guilty about, or ashamed for, Zoë Duncan. You called the cops, you saved them despite what they were going to do to you.”

“You would have stopped.”

His gaze was solemn. “No, Zoë. I wouldn’t have.”

Truth rang through each of those words.
He would have killed for me.
“I don’t want you in jail because of me.”

“Don’t worry about that. I know they gave you something for the pain, is it working? Do you need something else?”

“You’re trying to get me to stop thinking about it, but it won’t work.”

“I want to know if you’re hurting and if you are what can I do for you.”

She touched his chiseled jaw, allowing only her fingertips to graze the stubble along his skin. “Always so hard and gruff with everyone else, Zane. Yet, you show me a completely different side of you. Why?”

He kissed the palm of her hand, not touching her skin for the bandages that lingered there. “It was always you, Zoë.”

“What was?” He looked uncomfortable and she pushed, needing to hear the words. “What was, Zane?”

“The one who could get through my shell.”

The first smile since the entire attack had begun graced her face. Small and tentative but there. “I like being that one for you.” Zoë shut her eyes and allowed the steady pounding of his heart to mesmerize her to near slumber. “I like it a lot.”

“You know I’m not letting you go, Zoë. Not now.”

Those words of his followed her into sleep where he kept her safe, battling back the demons who dared pop up in her dreams. She woke the same way, in his embrace.

The mortar fire wouldn’t cease. In fact it grew closer and closer. Zane searched for somewhere to take cover. To his left. He bolted and waited for the next one to hit. The building just down the street turned to rubble as smoke and dust exploded out from where it used to stand. The next hit closer. They were moving up from the front and back, pinning them down, not giving them any retreat.

“Move out!” The yell came and he fell in with the rest of the men he fought and served beside.

Something caused him to look back over his shoulder just before they moved around the corner. Standing in the street was a little girl, no more than five. Her big brown eyes wide with fear, the stuffed animal she held in one hand drug along the ground. It only had three legs but anyone could tell it was important to her, for she wouldn’t let it go.

He skidded to a stop and wheeled around.

“Kendrick. Where the fuck are you going?”

He readjusted his weapon so he could grab the girl and keep moving without slowing. A crater appeared in the street to his right as he zigged and zagged back toward her.

The nearer he got the easier it became to see the streaks of tears on her dirty face. In her eyes he could read her desire to be saved. He reached out an arm just as the explosion hit, knocking him off his feet.

“Zane.” The gentle voice brought him back from the dream.

“Zoë,” he said, reaching for her. She met him and he brought her close, kissing the side of her face. “Are you okay?”

“I should be asking you that question. You were having a nightmare.”

He ran a hand down his face. “I’m fine. What about you?” He peered at the clock beside his bed. Four thirty in the morning.

“Not sleeping well, either.”

“Are you in pain?”

“No. Numb. Throat is a little scratchy but I’m all right otherwise.”

He read between the lines and understood what she spoke about. Physically, she was all right. He knew it would take time for her to mentally get over this. Much longer than it would take to recover from the bruising and cuts she had on her body.

“Will you come on a walk with me?”

He reached over to click on a light at her question. The darkish marks on her skin renewed the anger he had simmering within him. “You want to go out on a walk at four thirty in the morning?”

She held his gaze and he knew he was giving in. “Let’s get dressed.”

Another small smile but to him, it lit up his world. They walked down together and out the front door. The crisp morning allowed them to see their breath from the glow of the porch light.

Her small act of reaching for his hand calmed the remaining raging beast inside his soul. “Where are we going?” he asked as they descended the porch steps.

“I don’t know. Where did you used to sneak girls on this property?”

“What makes you think I ever did?”

“Because I heard you guys talking about them all when you were together.”

“You do know boys exaggerate, right?” he teased.

“I also heard the girls talking about what it had been like to be with one of the Kendrick boys. So, where did you take them?”

He shifted, uncomfortable with the conversation. “Usually out to a field.”

“And where would you take me?”

“Back to bed,” he said instantly.

“Bed? We just got up.”

“I’m still up,” he said brushing his cock along her hip. “I would take you to my bed, Zoë. A place none of those other girls ever got.”

“I’m sure you took girls to your bed. That’s okay, we both have pasts.”

“What are you saying?”

“Nothing hidden in that meaning. Just stating a fact. I’m sure you noticed I wasn’t a virgin when we slept together the first time.”

“I noticed.” He lifted her to sit on the split-rail fence they were beside. “Just like I noticed we never once used protection. Are you on anything?”

“Couldn’t you have asked me this before you blurted it out in the police station?”

“Are you ashamed to have it known you slept with me, Zoë Duncan?”

“No, not ashamed. But I am a bit more private than that, typically. I’m not Cora, who doesn’t mind if everyone knows who she was with from night to night.”

He flexed his fingers on the rail as she remained between his arms. “This isn’t about Cora.”

“No, it’s not. This is about you taking that decision away from me to decide if I wanted anything more. I told you, Zane, to stay away from me. Begged you to.”

“You never gave me a reason other than you don’t do casual. Fine. I’m not in this for causal sake.”

“Do you know what this could do to the relationship between our families?”

“Why are you worried about everyone else as opposed to you and what you want?”

“Because unlike you, Zane, my life is here. I’m not leaving to go seek some other adventure. I see your brothers all the time. They come over to Sunday dinners occasionally with my family. They hang out with my brothers and make my life hell. I love every moment of it, not that I would let them in on that bit of information. I’m a little sister to them. This…whatever it is, can only lead to trouble between our families and I’m not about to risk that.”

Frustration welled up inside him and he stepped back. She hopped off the fence and he spun to keep up with her.

“So that’s it then? We just forget it ever happened, so these dinners don’t get strained?”

“You’re not understanding.”

“You’re damn right I’m not. You haven’t given me one valid reason for this. I don’t give a fuck about your brothers, my brothers, and forgive me, even your parents in this. It’s about us, not them. Two people in a relationship, Zoë. That would be me and you. No one else.”

“It’s not that simple.”

He realized they’d come full circle back to the house and she ascended the steps to the front door. Zane latched onto her wrist, halting her. She stared down at him, one eyebrow up in silent question.

“It
is
that simple, Zoë. It boils down to us wanting to be together.”

“You don’t know, you’ve been gone. You could leave again. I don’t know what your plans are. You don’t talk to me about them. We’ve fucked, multiple times. I won’t even deny the amount of passion between us; it was there, no doubt. Yes, I get that. We’ve lain in bed together and talked about your time in the service and I can’t”—she dampened her lips—“begin to tell you how much it meant to me that you shared your experiences with me. I feel like I’ve had the opportunity to get to know the real you. I wasn’t lying when I said earlier that I see the difference in the way you treat me compared to others, but I’m not willing to risk my heart again over a man who may not want to make his life here in Springwood.”

He frowned. “Again?”

The corners of her mouth pinched and she shook her head. “I don’t want to do this now.” She tugged on her arm until he released her, then vanished inside.

Zane swore a blue streak and paused when the door opened again. She stood with Cade.

“Where are you two going?” Jealousy raised its head.

“I’m taking her home,” Cade said, his hand on the small of her back.

“I’ll do it.”

“Not a problem, Zane. I have to talk to Cora anyway.” Cade guided Zoë down the steps and to his SUV.