It Sleeps in Me (25 page)

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Authors: Kathleen O'Neal Gear

BOOK: It Sleeps in Me
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Her gaze dropped to the gifts, and she sucked in a sudden breath.
“You think that I …” The words lodged in her throat.
As though waking from a long dreadful sleep, comprehension seeped into her, and she felt more alive than she had ever felt.
Blessed gods, this is a Healing Circle.
Sora tore her eyes away from the gifts and looked at Teal. He’d bowed his head in reverence. Or perhaps shame.
“Teal, why am I here?”
“You know why.”
She shook her head at the outrageous notion. “You think
I
killed these people? White Fawn and Blue Bow? Far Eye?”
“You did, Sora,” Flint said tenderly.
“That’s ridiculous.” She tried to rise again, but he pushed her back to the floor and roughly took her face in his hands.
“You did it,” he said slowly, as though speaking to a child who might not understand. “Just like you killed your father.”
Her gaze darted around the chamber. Did everyone know? Had he revealed her darkest secrets to these people?
… As Skinner had said he would.
“It was an accident. I didn’t mean to.”
“What about your sister?”
“That was an accident, too! The ocean grew rough. Our canoe overturned.”
“Did your mother really fall, or did you push her?”
“She stumbled! There was nothing I could do! She rolled over and over until she slammed into a tree at the bottom of the bluff. I tried to get to her in time, but her neck was broken!”
Flint stared hard into her eyes. “Please. Try to remember. You must remember, or we can’t help you.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!”
From the shadows, Teal asked, “Chieftess, what happened with Far Eye and Blue Bow tonight?”
“I didn’t see either of them tonight! I was lost in the forest, running wildly, I …”
She halted. Everyone was staring at her.
“Wh-what are you saying? That it was my reflection-soul that was lost? That’s why I don’t remember doing these terrible things? My reflection-soul was out wandering the forest while my shadow-soul murdered two people?”
Is it possible? I often dream of being lost in the forest, of running and running.
Flint said, “Sora, always before when I found you wandering alone after someone died, you recalled bits and pieces of the event. Strange images that made no sense.”
A copper breastplate … warriors calling insults … Far Eye’s muted laughter.
Dear gods, is it possible? Does a murderer sleep in me?
Frightened now, really frightened, she shouted, “I don’t remember anything except being lost in the forest!”
“Don’t you understand?” Flint asked. “You’re sick. After you killed White Fawn, I knew I had to try one more time to Heal you, but I didn’t have the strength to do it myself. I truly loved her, Sora. Skinner agreed to pretend to be me. I used to be able to bring your reflection-soul home and keep it in your body for moons at a time. He was trying to bring it home so we could talk with it, maybe show it what happens when it roams the forests. But you killed him. Then my kinsman, Far Eye, agreed to try. But you killed him, too. We thought if we could bring your soul home we could convince it never to leave again, but—”
“You’re insane! I’ve
never
murdered
anyone
!”
Teal slashed the air with his frail old hand. Everyone turned to look at him. “This is over. We know what we need to. She remembers nothing.”
“That’s right! I remember nothing, because I did
nothing
!”
Flint bowed his head in despair. “We think we’ve found a priest powerful enough to fasten your reflection-soul to your body, Sora. We’re going to try one last time, before …”
He couldn’t finish. A hard swallow went down his throat.
Before they order my death.
She looked around. There was only one person missing. The person she most trusted.
She called, “Where’s my good friend, Wink? Didn’t she have the courage to face me with these accusations? I demand to see our matron! Now!”
Light filled the room as the curtain to the charnel chamber was drawn aside.
Wink’s dress appeared violet in the dim light. The shell comb that held her graying black hair on top of her head flashed as she hooked the curtain back on its peg.
“I’m here, Sora.”
“So,” she said coldly. “The traitor appears at last. What other surprises do you and Rockfish and Flint have waiting for me, Wink?”
Wink replied, “Sora, please don’t say such things. We’re trying very hard to help you.”
“Yes, we are,” Rockfish echoed.
One by one, they all stepped forward, linked hands, and knelt. Wink said, “I love you, Sora. I would never hurt you. I want only for you to get well.”
Rockfish said, “As do I.”
Flint was the last. He reached out and clutched her wrists, as though to keep her from striking him. “I love you more than anyone else here, Sora. You know I do.”
“You love me,” she scoffed. “You’re all trying to bring about my downfall! Why, Wink? So you can put your son in my place? Why don’t you just kill me?”
Pain lined Wink’s face. She turned to Flint, as if expecting him to answer that question.
Flint leaned very close to her ear and whispered, “Please go along with this, Sora. There is more at stake here than you can possibly realize.”
Something in his expression told Sora he was straining against a weight almost too heavy to bear. “What do you mean? What’s at stake?”
Flint subtly shook his head, as though he didn’t want anyone else in the room to overhear them.
Wink softly ordered, “Give her the sleeping potion. Then take her to the council chamber in my house. We must prepare her for the journey.”
“What journey?” Sora cried.
Teal knelt by the hearth and lifted the cup that sat on the largest hearthstone. As he brought it toward her, Grown Bear and Skinner grabbed Sora’s arms. Flint cranked her mouth open.
She screamed, “No!
NO!
”
Teal poured the acrid brew down her throat, and Flint clamped her jaws shut before she could spit it out.
She struggled against them, but it did no good. There were three of them, and they were much stronger than she.
Finally, she had to swallow. The potion burned a bitter path all the way to her belly.
Flint whispered, “We’re going to take you to someone who can Heal you. I give you my oath.”
A QUEER, FRIGHTENING SENSATION POSSESSED HER AS THEY carried her limp body through the cold rainy night to Wink’s house and lowered her onto a litter beside the fire. The litter, made of sapling poles and padded with a buffalohide, felt soothing against her frigid skin. Wink had obviously had the litter prepared in advance. Folded blankets rested near the hearthstones, keeping warm. She must have had this planned all along.
Teal’s hoarse old voice intruded into her thoughts: “Flint tells me you have chosen Long Lance to Heal her. What if he refuses?”
Wink answered, “We must offer him so much that he cannot refuse.”
“Wealth is of little concern to an old man, Matron. He will be far more worried about the consequences if he fails.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well”—Teal’s feet shuffled across the floor as though he was moving closer to her—“he knows he must succeed. She is the high chieftess of the Black Falcon Nation. That means he has to use every Spirit Plant and technique he knows to try to Heal her. He cannot fail. Do you understand?”
Sora’s eyes fluttered open. The despair on Wink’s face told her that Long Lance would have no choice but to give her more and more potions until he either Healed her, or killed her.
Wink whispered, “Yes, I understand.”
As if a deathly chill had seeped into her body, Sora shivered and wept.
A hand, large but very gentle, brushed the tears from her cheeks, and Flint murmured, “Don’t cry, Sora. He won’t fail. I won’t let him fail.”
His lips pressed against her temple, and she felt herself sinking into a deep, dark sleep from which she would not awaken for days.
The last words to penetrate the blackness came from Wink. They were soft and strained:
“Dear gods, I’ve betrayed her. I’ve betrayed her.”
Sora did not know whether it was the Spirit Plant leaping through her veins, or the overwhelming feeling that she was being manipulated into madness, but laughter suddenly bubbled up her throat. The mirth was followed by a rage more powerful than any emotion she had ever known.
The chamber went dark and deathly quiet.
“FORGIVE ME, I DIDN’T HEAR YOU. I WAS LOST IN MEMORIES OF things that happened over a moon ago. What did you ask?
“ … No, I had seen seven winters. I discovered him a few days after my father’s death. You see, he glittered. When I looked more closely, I noticed that he resembled an animal lying curled on a dark forest floor. A midnight-colored fox, I thought. I could just make out his shape, but I was entranced by his sheer size. How could an animal that big live behind my eyes?
“In time I learned that he was not merely darkness.
“He was a darkness that saw. That spoke.
“And he was just a baby.
“He would grow.
“As I would.
“ … No, don’t touch me, Priest. I’m all right. I just can’t help shaking when I remember.
“ … Yes, of course, Flint tried. He thought he could kill the Fox. Then one night he woke to find the Fox staring down at him from my eyes. I was very happy. I knew that he must finally understand.”
The ache inside me becomes too much, and I drop my face into my hands.
“ … But it’s perfectly clear. How can you not understand?”
I massage my temples while I listen to his soft voice.
“ … Yes, I agree that killing is a kind of mourning, but I killed no one. If murder was done, it was done by the Fox.”
I lift my head to peer at him.
“ … Who am I mourning? I’m not mourning, I …”
The words die in my throat.
I sit back on the buffalohide and stare up at the Star People who spread across the night sky like a great dark blanket covered with sunlit seashells.
 
…
Am I?

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