It Is What It Is (18 page)

Authors: Nikki Carter

BOOK: It Is What It Is

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I
t's Saturday, and of course, the Homecoming dance is today. Yay! My first high school Homecoming dance. I was banned from attending during my freshman year, and last year there was a series of unfortunate events.

But this year, I'm going and I'm going to be extra fresh, extra clean, and supa dupa fly!

Gwen and I are sitting at the dining room table in chill mode. LeRon took Candy out for a father-daughter breakfast. I guess they needed some bonding time. Whatever. I'm just glad to have them out of the house.

I'm also glad that Gwen didn't try to force any of those grits on me. I don't think that grits are supposed to be a solid, shiny lump. They look like a special effect from a horror movie, especially the way Gwen is stabbing them with a fork.

“So, Homecoming is tonight, right?” Gwen asks. “What are you wearing?”

“Ricky, Kevin, and I are wearing orange tops and blue jeans.”

Gwen scrunches her nose. “Jeans at Homecoming?”

“Yeah, Mom. It's not really a formal thing at our school. Everyone dresses kinda casually.”

“If that's what you want, I guess it's okay. Have you thought about how you want to decorate your new room? LeRon is really excited about shopping for your furniture.”

“I haven't really had a chance to think about it.”

“Well, don't wait too long! You better get it while the getting is good.”

“Okay, got it.”

Gwen smiles at me. “With LeRon and Candy out of the house, doesn't this feel like old times?”

“Yeah, it does.”

“As happy as I am to be married to LeRon, I do miss our alone time.”

There's no way she can miss it more than I do. At least she got a husband out of the deal. All I got was extra roommates.

“Mom, sometimes I wish we could go back to the way it was.”

“Life is all about change, Gia. Like Kevin, for instance ... he's changing, right?”

I burst out laughing. “How did this conversation get to be about Kevin?”

“I'm just making a point,” Gwen replies, joining in on my laughter. “I noticed that Kevin is trying to come out of his shell.”

“I don't know about that, but he's gonna be me and Ricky's hype man tonight at the dance.”

Gwen covers her mouth, trying to hold in her laughter. “Hype man? Does he even know what a hype man is?”

“No! We had to tell him!”

My mom and I are both laughing so hard that we're bent over and holding our stomachs. This is what I really miss. How much fun we used to have when we lived in our little duplex. Even when I was in trouble or on punishment, and even when she was chasing after some guy, we still had some great times.

I really miss that.

“You know, Gia, sometimes changes are for the better.”

I nod slowly. I agree that everything around me has definitely changed, but the jury is still out on if our life is better.

Candy watches me as I stand in front of the mirror in our bedroom. I'm trying to make a perfect bow with the tie on my orange blouse. It's not a really bright orange, but more the color of leaves in the fall. In addition to the bow, the collar has ruffles. It's fierce and casual at the same time. And of course my skinny jeans and ankle boots are banging.

Yes, I am totally feeling myself right about now. Deal with it.

“Your blouse is cute,” Candy says.

“Thanks.”

“I wish I was going with you guys,” Candy says wistfully. “I saw the step you and Ricky are gonna do. It's hot!”

“If you keep your nose clean, you can kick it with us next year!”

“Next year? How about the Winter Ball, the Valentine's Day dance, Spring Fling, and prom?”

I laugh out loud. “The prom? Who in the world is asking you to the prom? Did you forget that you are a freshman, boo?”

“Don't underestimate me! I could probably get a prom date before you do!”

I'm not going to argue with her because number one, she might be right, and number two, Gwen has a rule. No prom unless you're graduating.

I can hear Ricky, Hope, and Kevin's voices from the living room.

“Well, my ride is here. You wanna come out of your prison cell and say hi?”

“Sure, why not,” Candy says.

Mmm ... kay, did I just step out of my bedroom and into the Twilight Zone? Can I just sayâand it's hard for me to say this without flinchingâthat Kevin looks extraordinarily fly.

I'm not talking just a little change here or there. I'm talking major fashion overhaul. He has on some perfectly loose jeans with a rusty orange button-down shirt. He's also got on a jean jacket and, hold up, some tan Timberland boots.

“Kevin, boy, you look
good
.” Candy voices my opinion.

And no, he does not have the audacity to blush. “Thanks, Candy.”

Hope grins. “He does, doesn't he?”

Hope's outfit is very, very ... umm ... 90210. She's got on a silver dress with puffy sleeves and some black patent leather Mary Janes. I'm not feeling it, but it's all good, I guess.

“Well, what about me?” Ricky asks.

Ricky looks nice too, but then he always looks nice. His outfit is similar to Kevin's except he layered his blue button-down with an orange T-shirt underneath. He's got a new accessory, too. It's a fly silver chain that he's wearing around his neck.

“When did you start sporting silver?” I ask.

Ricky's hand self-consciously goes to his neck. “Oh, this? My mom gave this to me. Do you like it?”

I nod. “It's fresh, Ricky. Kev, you look great too.”

“Thanks, Gia. You look really pretty,” Kevin replies.

Gwen seems somewhat uncomfortable with this whole scene. Maybe it has something to do with how grown up we all are starting to look, even Kevin.

Ricky reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little box. “Gia, me and my mom saw this at the mall, and my mom said you would like it.”

My eyes widen (Gwen and Hope's do too). I take the box from Ricky's hand and open it slowly. I can feel everyone's eyes on me, and Ricky's huge, proud smile.

In the box is a little silver charm bracelet with a Tweety charm. I can't contain my happiness. “Mom, put it on me! Thank you, Ricky!”

The gigantic hug that I give Ricky happens completely by accident. And he's going to need a napkin to wipe my lip gloss off his cheek. Yeah, that was unplanned as well ... completely accidental.

“You're welcome, Gi-Gi. I know Tweety is on hiatus, but I thought you'd like to have him at your first Homecoming dance.”

Hope frowns. “That is so sweet, Ricky.” Okay, why do her words not match that crazy look on her face?

Kevin also looks a little twisted. He is sooo giving Ricky the how-dare-you-one-up-my-makeover side eye.

“Wait a minute!” Hope shouts.

Could she be any louder? Good grief!

“What?” I ask.

“Why are all three of you wearing orange?”

Candy giggles. “Did you not get the memo?”

“Was this on purpose?” Hope screeches at the top of her lungs.

Ricky replies, “Yes, it was planned.”

“And you all conveniently forgot to tell me?”

Since I feel completely justified in our deception, I respond. “We just didn't want it to feel like a double date, Hope. It wasn't anything personal.”

But how about the fact that this
does
feel like a date? Not a double date, but a Ricky-and-Gia date. A let-me-give-you-a-gift-before-we-go kind of date.

Ricky just gave me jewelry. My best and totally hot friend, who is a boy, just gave me jewelry. I'm trying not to let anyone in the room see how twisted I am about this, but I bet they can hear my heart beating because it's about to burst right out of my chest.

Why did I have to taint this moment? I should've waited on Ricky to discover his true feelings before I detoured down a horrible road named Romeo.

Gwen pulls Hope into a one-armed hug. “But you all are still friends, right?”

“Of course!” I reply. “Dance steps just look hotter if you're wearing the same colors.”

“You guys made up a dance step? Ugh! I can't stand y'all.”

Kevin says, “Hope, you know you can't dance like Ricky and Gia.”

“You can't either, Kevin! What are you gonna be doing?” Hope asks.

“I'm the hyper man.”

Hyper man? Oh, good grief. You can take the lame out of his clothes, but you can't take the lame out of the boy!

I
don't know why I feel ridiculously nervous walking into this Homecoming dance. It's not like super special or anything. Maybe I'm still excited about the little piece of jewelry on my wrist.

I mean, I know it's just Ricky, and he doesn't think he's feeling me or anybody else on that level, but could he kind of, subconsciously, like me? I mean
like
like me. You know. Because that would be really, really cool, but really, really scary at the same time.

All the way to the dance, I've been thinking that maybe I missed some clues about Ricky. Like when last year he was mad about me dating Romeo. Was he just blocking because Romeo was a dog, or was he
feeling
me? And like this year, when he refused to go to Homecoming with Valerie or Hope. Was that just because he's not trying to date anybody, or was it because he likes me and didn't want to say anything? Or what if he hasn't said anything because of Kevin's undying love for me, or Hope's crush?

So many questions! And I have absolutely no answers.

It's not like it would be completely out of the question. Because I would sooo definitely holla at him. If Ricky was my first real boyfriendâI refuse to count Romeoâthat would be completely awesome. What's not to like? He's fine and sweet, he plays football, he's college bound! Okay, lemme fall back with all that. I don't want to go off on some crazy crush spree when there's no real evidence that my crush will be returned.

“What is up with you and Ricky?” Hope asks when the boys go and get us some snacks.

“Nothing. I love the way the rally girls decorated the gym. It totally doesn't look lame at all.” Is it obvious that I'm trying to change the subject?

“Quit playing, Gia. You are not getting off that easy. Boys don't buy jewelry for girls unless they like them.”

“Honestly, Hope ... I don't know what's up. Ricky caught me off guard with that one too. What do you think about it? It's weird, huh?”

“Well, like I said before, you and Ricky are perfect for each other. I think he likes you. Maybe he doesn't know it yet, but he likes you.”

“So, if he did
like
me, and I'm not saying that he does, but
if
he does, would you be angry if I talked to him?”

Hope sighs. “I might be a little jealous ... okay, a lot jealous.”

“Oh.” This might be complicated.

“But I would get over it. It's always been you and Ricky. Seriously.”

I don't believe her.

“It's not gonna happen, Hope, so it doesn't even matter.”

A little smile dances on Hope's face. “Okay, but when it
does
happen, I really, really won't be mad forever, just for a few days ... okay, weeks.”

I refuse to respond to Hope's comment, because Ricky and Kevin are back with the snacks. So why do both of them try to hand me a cup of juice? Kevin frowns, and Hope takes the cup from Kevin's hand and grins.

Never, ever have I been more happy to see Valerie. She is so crazy, though. Why is she walking around with a tiara on and a pink dress? The word for the day, boys and girls, is
loca!

“Ooo-OOO! Hey, Hi-Stepper!” Valerie says. And then she kisses my cheek. I really think she's lost it now.

“Hey, Valerie ... cute crown.”

Valerie smiles and touches her tiara. “Thank you! My mom bought it for me when I told her these losers didn't pick me for Homecoming queen.”

“I see you didn't let that stop your reign,” I reply.

“My rain? Gia, what are you talking about? Is it supposed to rain later? Thanks for telling me, because I don't think this tiara is real. I don't want it to rust.”

I grab my forehead and shake my head back and forth. “Not that kind of rain, Valerie.
Reign,
like what a king does over his subjects.”

I'm totally getting the blank stare from Valerie. She's getting a membership to the Sylvan Learning Center for her next birthday.

Valerie looks me up and down and scans my outfit. “I see you, mami! You are looking very trendy. That bow is hot!”

“Thanks, Val.”

Next Valerie checks Hope out. “And look at you, looking like a Disney princess.”

“Ha, ha, Valerie.”

Valerie completely disses Kevin and Ricky by pretending that they aren't even there. They don't seem to care. We all struggle not to laugh when Valerie walks away humming the theme song to
Mulan
.

“I can't stand her,” Hope says in a huff.

“Your dress is nice,” I say. “Don't let Valerie get to you.”

“Whatever! I'm going over there with the rally girls. You three are making me stand out more with those jack-o-lantern shirts on.”

As Hope storms away, our laughter continues. “Should I tell the DJ to play your song?” Kevin asks.

“Kev, trust, they are gonna play that song soon. We can't go through a school dance without hearing Ne-Yo,” I reply. “Just chill. Maybe you can ask someone to dance.”

Kevin stares at me like I'm speaking Japanese. “Gia, will you dance with me?” he asks.

“Okay, Kevin, but you better not step on my feet.”

Ricky says, “So, I'll just stand over here on the side and look like a lame.”

“It's only for a few minutes, Ricky. We'll be right back,” I say.

Kevin pulls me by the wrist to the edge of the dance floor. It's a fast song with a reggae beat. Not a song that someone with two left feet would choose. But it's cool. As long as he just moves from side to side, he's cool.

“Gia,” Kevin says over the music, “if you like Ricky, I understand. I won't be angry about it.”

Why is everyone giving me permission to like Ricky just because he gave me a bracelet? I wish he had done that privately. This whole permission thing is getting old.

“Kevin ... I don't want to think about liking anybody at this point. Just shut up and dance, please.”

He smiles. “Okay, Gia. Whatever you say!”

I think I see a glimmer of wishful thinking in Kevin's eyes. This is too complicated for me. All of this who-likes-who stuff is, well, it makes me tired. I like things the way they were before hormones got all involved.

Kevin and I dance for the entire song, and then the DJ spins a slow cut. I'm ready to walk back over to Ricky until I notice that Kevin's hands are outstretched. Does he seriously want to attempt to slow dance with me?

Okay, in what world would I ever want Kevin to be my first slow dance?

But it's cool, because above everything else, Kevin is my homeboy. I won't count this as a real slow dance. I will count it as a practice. I'm pretty creative about how I count stuff ... and I don't care what
you
think!

I'm so glad when the song is over. It's just painful. No ... literally ... painful, because Kevin has mashed every one of my toes.

And yes ... I just said “mashed,” like Mother Cranford.

Romeo slides up on the side of Kevin and me and says, “You wanna dance, lil' shorty?”

He already knows that I don't want to dance with him. I don't even know what possessed him to ask. “No thanks, Romeo.”

“You gonna hold that little grudge forever, lil' mama? Romeo is all about forgiving and forgetting,” he replies.

“Seriously? Well, Gia is all about keeping it moving when someone plays Gia. Especially when the someone is named Romeo.”

“Suit yourself, shorty. Dance with a lame if you want.”

“Kevin's not a lame,” I say in Kev's defense.

“It's cool, Gia. You don't have to argue over me,” Kevin says. “I don't get mad about stuff that's not even true.”

“Still, Kevin. He has no right to call you names.”

Romeo laughs. “Gia, you shouldn't associate with lames. That makes people just think you're a lame too.”

“So will people assume that I'm illiterate if I hang out with you?”

Before Romeo has a chance to answer, Ne-Yo blares out from the speakers. Ricky jogs across the floor and grabs my arm. “Come on, Gia! Kev, you know what to do!”

Ricky and I start our fluid dance step, and can I say that it is
hot
? This is the first time we've actually tried some real video choreography, but we've adapted it to our dance style.

It is completely awesome.

Then it really, really hits me. I'm always in perfect sync with Ricky. Not just with dancing but with everything. The only time we've ever even had anything close to an argument was when I was trying to kick it with Romeo.

It
has
always been me and Ricky. Everything about him is perfect. He's completely handsome and not conceited, because he doesn't even know how hot he is. And he actually cares about my feelings too. He's so perfect for me.

But, what if we do this whole dating thing and it's horrible? What if someone gets hurt ... mainly me? What if someone's heart gets broken?

That would be all bad.

Kevin is doing his job as our “hyper man.” He's got everyone saying, “Go, Ricky! Go, Gia!”

That's completely hot! I love hearing the crowd screaming my name. And I definitely like hearing it in the same sentence with Ricky's name.

Yeah, that sounds awesome ... Ricky and Gia.

That's hot like fiyah!