It Is Said (Mathias Bootmaker and the Keepers of the Sandbox) (19 page)

“How do you know any of this is true?”

“Through generations, stories of what has been and what will be have been passed down, and they have given our lives purpose. While we have never seen the stars, nor any sign of the fabled Lady, nonetheless, we believe that she will come.”

“You believe in someone you’ve never seen?”

Simon didn’t say anything for a moment. He just stared at Mathias whose negative attitude was beginning to test the patience of his host.

“As it is written, so it is said, and so I believe in my heart, and in my mind,” he said simply. “After all, you did arrive. Just like the stories said you would,” he added wryly.

“So I’m an important man?”

“Not important, significant,” Simon teased.

“Why don’t I believe you?”

“I’ve believed in you for a very long time, Mathias Bootmaker, and here you are. Pity you don’t believe in yourself.”

They both let those last words hang in the air. Mathias just stared at Simon. He wasn’t going to take the bait. He wasn’t going to let him have the satisfaction of it.

“Is this the place that Lord Darke was looking for in his sky?”

“Elias Darke had visions of what would be. He was looking beyond us. But he could sense our presence. It’s what first sparked his curiosity.”

“How can you see them, but they can’t see you?”

“They project energy outward. We project it inward.”

“And what is this Nation’s relationship to that world?”

“You have much further to travel before you can understand that, Mathias Bootmaker,” Simon said with a laugh. “The one thing you should remember is this. Those people have a gift. They’ve just forgotten where they’ve put it. The Ocean of Stars Nation has been waiting a very long time for them to find it again.”

Simon stood up, grabbed the shovel, jumped into the hole and began to dig.

“As we wait, this is the sandbox in which we play,” he said cheerfully. “Play, after all, is most important.”

The ape had moved quickly, but in the hole he worked diligently. He pierced the sand gently with the shovel. Each load of sand was equally proportioned.

“When not practicing our vocations, we indulge ourselves in the arts. We write. We read. We compose and play music. We dance. We draw, and paint, and perform.”

Each load went into the bucket without one grain lost.

“We make ourselves a better people by embracing everything creative. Creativity is the beginning of all things.”

The sand went into the bucket but the bucket never overflowed.

“If you don’t mind my asking, what are you doing?” Mathias interrupted.

Simon put two more shovels of sand into the bucket, and was well on his way to a third before he responded.

“What do you fear Mathias Bootmaker?” he asked with a mischievous gleam in his eye.

“You know my story,” Mathias replied shrewdly. “Why don’t you tell me?”

“You won’t like what I have to say,” the chimp teased again.

“I’m not afraid of what I already know and I’m not afraid of this parlor game you’re playing. Tell me,” Mathias asked, “do you play this game with all your guests?”

“You’re worried about the child you’ve lost,” Simon said, ignoring him. “You’re worried that you won’t find him. That you can’t save him. You’re worried about those people,” he said pointing at the moon. “You’re worried that you can’t save them. All while worrying that you won’t be able to save yourself.”

“Worrying is not fear,” Mathias challenged.

“I’m amused that you think there’s a difference,” Simon said as he kept on digging. “I know what you’re afraid of. It’s not that you can’t do these things. It’s that you’ve convinced yourself that you’ll fail before you even begin. That you’ll fail at everything you’re ever going to face. That you’ll fail here, and in the world you come from.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” Mathias said.

“You fear everything,” Simon continued as he kept on digging. “You’ve let everything in your mind become your enemy. It’s eating you alive from within. You must let it all go. Let fate decide. Once you let go a bit, once you breathe, you will begin to end your fear.”

“I’m doing everything I can.”

“Are you really?” the ape taunted.

“What more can I do?” Mathias snapped back.

Finished digging, Simon jumped back out of the hole.

“Even if you strive diligently on your chosen path day after day, if your heart and mind are not in accord with it, then your path is not genuine. Just a little bit of doubt in your mind warps the path.”

He put the shovel back in the tent and motioned to Mathias to stand and come to him. Mathias did just that.

“You’re here because you’re warped. Your mind knows it, but you keep avoiding where you’ve got to go to fix that warp. You have an important thing to do and you must get on with it, but you keep setting up obstacles and blockades everywhere you go. You’re listening to the stories of others and taking on their troubles. You’re wasting time thinking of your long dead father.”

“That’s enough, Simon,” Mathias insisted.

Simon dismissed him with a look and reached down to pick up the small rolled rug.

“The pressure in your head must be enormous,” he said as he faced Mathias again. “The doubt and sadness must be overwhelming. I’m sure you just want to crawl into a hole and die. Well sir, be careful what you wish for.”

Without warning Simon gave Mathias a little push with the roll, just enough to throw him off balance and send him tumbling into the hole.

“Now,” the dastardly ape said. “There’ll be no more distractions. There will be critical thinking, followed by action. No more sleeping.”

“Are you insane?” Mathias shouted.

He got to his feet. He tried to jump, but he couldn’t reach the edge. This was a much deeper resting place than Mathias was first lead to believe.

“Do you think this is your first time here?” Simon snarled. “You have returned here over and over, again, and again. Every time you return, I put you in this hole to face your fears, and every time you return, I dig a little deeper. The whole thing is getting rather tedious.”
 

Mathias kept jumping up. He kept trying to reach the edge. Every time he missed, he came down a little deeper.

“I put you in that hole, and instead of exploring the darkness to find the answers you seek, you choose to sleep. You choose to wake in the comfort of your home. But there is no comfort there. This is not a dream. You keep convincing yourself it is. You keep hoping and wishing it is. Perhaps you need it to be because of the depth of the hole in your heart. But this is no dream. This is all very real, Mathias Bootmaker.”

The sand beneath Mathias’ feet suddenly gave way and he dropped deeper down below.

“You must do what Simon says,” the mad ape barked as Mathias slipped away. “You have to go forward, and this hole is how you’re going to do it.”

There was another drop. As he fell, Mathias reached out for the sandy walls to slow him down. The sand went from gold to black as his fingers passed through it.

“You must not be afraid to follow your path, no matter where it might lead,” Simon shouted at him as he continued to fall. “You’re in a dark place in your mind, so that’s where you must go to find what you seek.”

The black sand turned to black rock. Mathias landed flat on his back. Hard. The black stone was cold. He had been transported from a grave to a crypt.

“Ad astra per aspera,” Simon yelled down to him.

Finished with his work the gravedigger unrolled the carpet and draped it over the top of the hole extinguishing all light below.

“What does that mean?” Mathias shouted as loud as he could.

There was another drop. It was the fastest and furthest yet. Mathias just lay there. He was the reluctant, now submissive, passenger of an extremely grim ride.

Then the drop stopped.

Simon peeled back one corner of the carpet. He was so far away. Mathias could see his lips move. He was saying something, but Mathias couldn’t hear the words. Simon put the rug back in place and left him in darkness again.

“What did you say?” Mathias screamed.

Simon’s words came back down to him, but they were right by his ear. As if his gravedigger had joined him in the dark.

“A rough road leads to the stars,” was the whisper.

Startled, Mathias rolled to his side. He hit the edge of the black rock crypt.

“Simon, are you in here?” he shouted.

Everything was silent as a grave.

Mathias used the wall to push himself up. He put his back to it, and reached into the darkness with his outstretched arms.

“This is not funny, Simon,” he called out.

The wall at his back gave way. There was no sound when it happened. Mathias felt the wall at his back just fade away. He was off balance in the dark, but he remained on his feet.

“Simon!” Mathias screamed.

The sound of his voice didn’t travel very far. The space was too tight, or so Mathias thought. He really wasn’t sure how big the space was anymore. He really wasn’t sure he was alone in it. The wall behind him was gone. He really wasn’t sure what to make about that. He decided to move forward.

With his hands leading the way, he took ten tenuous steps. Nothing stopped his forward progress. He slowly took five more. He stopped. He stretched his fingers as far as he could without moving. There was nothing to touch. He decided to take two more steps.

He thought about giving up as he took them. He could do it easily. Just sleep and wake again. He could put all this behind him. Start a new dream perhaps. Fix whatever went wrong in this one.

Mathias was deciding his next steps when he heard music coming down to him from above. It was a joyous, but melancholy little tune. It was Simon at play. The music came down, through and passed Mathias. He could hear it traveling into the distance in front of him. Without hesitation he quickly followed the tune.

He was being pulled further into the darkness. He knew it. He had no other choice. The music was getting away from him. He started to run. The music was fading ahead of him. He picked up speed. He was running full out, in the dark, when the music stopped. Suddenly afraid, Mathias stopped too.

His heart was pounding in his chest. His lungs were on fire. His body was bathed in sweat. He was alone in the dark. He never felt more vulnerable in his life.

That’s when it happened.

Mathias could hear himself breathing in the dark. That’s all he could hear now. He took a deep breath to settle himself.

That’s when he heard it.

A door opened and closed in the dark.

Everything in his mind stopped.

Everything in his body froze.

Then a pinprick of brightness appeared ahead of him.

Some part of Mathias took over. Some foolish part of himself made him start walking towards the light. He couldn’t stop himself from getting closer.

He could see a door. It was black. The doorknob was the source of his hypnosis. It was shaped like the crystal flame of the castle. The light was coming from inside the crystal knob.