It Had to Be Him (35 page)

“And you couldn’t tell me the truth.” Zeke scratched the stubble on his cheek. “That was the right thing to do. I’ll give you that. Wish you hadn’t hurt Meg in the process, that’s all.”

“Me too.” Josh joined Zeke at the workbench, leaning against it. “I understand if you’ve changed your mind.”

“Now, don’t be putting words into my mouth that aren’t there. I was only stating facts. And if you’ll recall, I gave you the job in the first place because I didn’t trust you and wanted to keep an eye on you. But, after what happened today, it does make a man wonder if you really have feelings for Meg. Because if you don’t, then I’ll have to ask you to leave town and let her and Haley be. Meg’s had some rough patches. She don’t need any more caused by you.”

“I love Meg. And I’m not going anywhere. I have Haley and Eric to consider. I may have failed with Meg, and I’m still hoping she’ll come around, but I won’t fail the kids.”

“That’s what I figured.” Zeke shrugged and sat down to work on his carburetor again. “The offer still stands, Granger. And just a piece of advice from an old man. Meggy is as stubborn as they come, but anything worth having is worth fighting for.”

The sharp click of a rifle cocking snapped Josh’s head around. Meg’s grandmother lifted her gun and pointed it straight at his heart. “You’re coming with me, boy. Now!”

With a sound-asleep Haley on her shoulder—and since when did Haley weigh so dang much?—Meg made her way down the long hall that connected the hotel with Casey’s living quarters. She’d checked Casey’s office first, and then the lobby, but she was nowhere to be found. It was her sister’s day off, so maybe she was at home for a change.

Meg held the pie box and to-go bags in one hand and Haley in the other. Just as Meg lifted her foot to kick in lieu of knocking, the door swung open. Casey frowned as she listened to someone on her cell phone. When she spotted Meg, her shoulders jerked in surprise. “She’s right here. I’ll take care of it.”

Meg said. “Take care of what? Who’s looking for me?”

Her sister crooked her finger and held the door open wider. “Why don’t you lay Haley on my bed?”

Meg followed Casey to her bedroom. After Casey lifted the covers back, Meg slipped Haley under them, then kissed her forehead.

When they were in the living room again, Casey asked, “So where’s Eric?”

“At the park playing soccer. Toby said he’d bring him by later. What’s going on, Casey?”

Her sister gave such an innocent shrug it had to be fake. “I just wanted to keep the kids so you could have the evening to yourself. I’ll let Toby know to bring Eric back here. Now let’s get you and your dinner on your way home.”

Meg let herself be dragged for a few feet until it hit her. “How did you know this was my dinner? Who were you talking to when I showed up?”

“Aunt Gloria.” Casey stopped pulling and huffed out a breath. “She was worried about you, that’s all. Now get going, would you?”

Something was up.

“Is it Dad? Have you heard something?”

Casey crossed her arms. “No. But before you hear it from someone else, I should probably tell you that after I heard Josh’s side of the story I let him have a room.”

Hot fury ripped through Meg’s veins. That’s why Casey was trying to get rid of her? “How the hell could you do that to me, Casey?”

Utterly betrayed for the second time that day, she turned to leave.

But Casey was quicker and wrapped her long arms around Meg’s shoulders to stop her. “I didn’t do it to you, I did it
for
you. I didn’t want you to push him away like you’ve done to every man who’s cared for you.”

Meg turned to face her sister. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Casey sighed. “You’d never fully commit to the men you dated, so of course they treated you the same. Or you’d pick a guy so wrong for you, it was for the best when he’d leave. You push men away so they can’t hurt you first. You’re not the hard-ass you like people to think, Meg.”

“I committed to Josh and look what that got me.”

“Then you must love him enough to give him a second chance. He was just doing his job and you got caught up in that. Josh loves you, and I don’t want to see you throw it all away because you’re afraid to be hurt.”

“How can you say that after your nasty divorce? I hated how badly Tomas hurt you.”

Casey nodded. “I hated how much he hurt me too, the cheating bastard. But I don’t regret marrying him. I have my boys I wouldn’t trade for the world. And we were really happy for a while. The best thing I took away from my divorce was it made me realize I’m strong enough to deal with whatever life throws at me. I’m responsible for my own happiness. If you push Josh away, will that make you happy?”

“But I’m not strong like you, Casey.” Meg fought to stop them, but warm tears rolled down her cheeks. “He broke my heart again and I’m just barely hanging on here. I’m trying to stay brave in front of the kids, but what if I’m
not
strong enough to deal with whatever life throws at me and I screw everything up again? And now I have Haley to worry about too, so then what?”

Casey pulled Meg toward her and squeezed tight. “Then we’ll be here to pick you up and dust you off just like before. But you
are
strong enough, Meg.” Casey kissed the top of Meg’s head. “I’ve always believed in you. I just wish you’d believe in yourself for a change.”

“Easier said than done.” Meg let Casey hold her for a few minutes while she pulled herself together. She wanted to go home, hide under the covers, and hope the pain would ease by the morning.

Wiping her tears, she leaned back. “Can I borrow a Jet Ski to get home?”

“I had Trent leave you one at the end of the dock. I love you. Call me later, okay?”

“’Kay. Love you too.” Her mind whirling with what her sister had said, Meg slowly made her way down to the dock. She slipped into her life jacket, stowed her food, then turned the key that was dangling in the ignition. Cranking the gas, she tore away from the dock.

What was she going to do? Just because everyone told her she should consider forgiving Josh didn’t mean she could. His betrayal made it hard to even think about him, much less look at him. How could she let someone with the power to hurt her so deeply back into her life again?

She wasn’t Casey. She wasn’t the girl who had all the answers and did everything right. She was the screwup her dad worried would ruin his fine reputation. And now Amber had made sure the whole town remembered that was exactly what Meg was.

Pulling up to her new dock, she spotted Grandma’s car in the drive.

Great. That’s all she needed. Someone else telling her how to feel.

She tossed the life jacket and her dinner onto the dock, then hauled herself up and made her way to the back door. She crossed through the laundry room and into the kitchen to put the food in the fridge. She unloaded the bag and found a meatball sub, a bag of chips, a turkey sandwich, and a fruit cup.

Her grandmother called out, “Megan? What in tarnation took you so long? Get in here right now, young lady.”

Steeling herself for one more conversation she didn’t want to have, she grabbed her bag of Dove chocolates off the counter, went to the living room, and pulled up short.

Grandma sat in a rocking chair pointing a rifle at Josh, who was sitting on the couch with his arms crossed.

Meg tossed the bag of candy on the coffee table. “What’s going on, Grandma?”

Grandma slowly rose from her chair, threw her gun over her shoulder, and picked up her cane before heading for the front door. “You two are going to stay in here until you work everything out. I’ll be right outside on the front porch, so don’t try anything funny.”

The front door closed firmly behind her.

Crap!

So everyone had been in on it. Aunt Gloria, Casey keeping the kids, and Grandma kidnapping Josh at gunpoint. Never a dull day in Anderson Butte. But just for once, couldn’t everyone mind their own business?

When she finally met Josh’s gaze, the pain in his eyes matched hers, and her stomach sank. What was she going to do?

What she really wanted was to curl up in a ball in her bed. Was that so much to ask? She said, “You can go out the back if you want. There’s a Jet Ski that needs to be returned to the hotel anyway.”

Josh’s right brow popped up. “And risk getting shot by your grandmother again? I don’t think so.”

“She won’t really shoot you.”

“Says the woman with cute little buckshot scars on her ass to the man still recovering from the last time your crazy grandma shot me.” He rubbed his left arm where Grams had tagged him.

He stood and walked toward her.

She stepped backward with each of his forward steps until her knees hit the rocking chair Grandma had been sitting in. “I can’t do this, Josh.”

“I hated that I had to lie to you, Meg. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to fix this.”

She shook her head. “There’s nothing that will fix what you’ve done to us. I’ll . . . just . . . go.”

He reached out and took her hand, but she pulled it out of his grasp. On a sigh he said, “Your grandmother can’t force you to forgive me. And neither can I. Only you can decide if you will or can.” He tilted her chin with his finger and stared into her eyes. “Tell me you don’t love me, Meg, and I’ll take my chances and be the one to go.”

He’d always seen right through her. It was his so-called superpower in the FBI. If she told him she didn’t love him he’d know it was a lie. Because she did. Maybe too much. It was the trusting he wouldn’t hurt her again that she struggled with.

She couldn’t think straight when he touched her. “I’ll be right back.”

Meg slipped around him and practically ran to the master bedroom. She smacked the door closed behind her and crossed to the bathroom sink. After washing her face and blowing her nose, she sank onto the bed and held her head in her hands. Why wouldn’t everyone leave her alone so she could work everything out by herself?

Easy for all of them to say that he was just doing his job. They
weren’t the ones who’d have to live with a man who’d lied to her since the day they’d met.

Her girlfriends were right. Trust didn’t come easy to Meg. But could she trust her heart, which was screaming that it wanted Josh’s love even if he’d probably hurt her again?

Even if she could forgive him the lying, her old worry that Josh would get bored in Anderson Butte and leave raised its ugly head again. And now she was committed to staying. But would she wake up one morning with a note on her pillow telling her he had to go?

If he up and left them, Haley would be heartbroken too.

She flopped onto her back and closed her eyes as tears leaked past her ears. What was she going to do?

After a few minutes, she got her emotions back in check enough to go tell her grandmother to leave. Meg needed some time to figure things out. On her own, without anyone’s help. Just like her father had said.

As she walked toward the bedroom door, she tossed the tissue still wadded up in her hand into the trash can. It landed on an envelope with her name on it.

Curious, she pulled the envelope out and went back to sit on the bed. It was Josh’s handwriting on the outside. The letter was addressed to her, care of Anderson Butte, Colorado.

Why would he have written her a letter?

She ripped it open and unfolded the slightly faded, handwritten note. It was written on lined yellow paper. The date on top was the day they’d broken up, three years earlier.

Meg,

If you’re receiving this, the worst has happened, but I couldn’t leave this world with you thinking I didn’t love you and our unborn child. I couldn’t tell you before, but I’m an undercover FBI agent. I had to leave to keep you and our baby safe.

My will leaves all I have to you, so you should soon receive a large sum of money to help raise our child. If not, please contact Agent Watts at the FBI and he’ll be sure you do.

I wish we could have watched our child grow together, but I take comfort in knowing you’ll be his or her fantastic mother. You’re the strongest, kindest person I know even though you’d be the first to deny it. My greatest hope is that our child will have your incredible spirit. I’ll miss that about you. You brought light to my dark when I needed it the most.

Maybe after reading this, you’ll be able to forgive me for falling in love with you at the worst possible time. But the short time we had together was the best of my life.