Island Rush (49 page)

I watched as he tore the rest of the fish open in front of us, picking up the meat and eating it. He handed me a few pieces, which I quickly tossed back into my mouth. Only this time, it was better.  It was warmer and less rotten tasting than last time. It was still not the best tasting fish in the world or anything close, but I could live with eating this.

He then took the next fish, pressed it into the twigs before propping the one stick in to hold it on. Cooking another, he continued to do that for the rest of the fish we caught. With the last two fish we had to cook, he let me try.  It was actually quite easy. 

The night ran on, consisting of cooking the fish, finding the meat, and eating. After the fifth fish, I could already feel my stomach feeling satisfied.  We didn’t stop, though.  We took full advantage of having as much food as we did. 

The fire crackling, the smoke gliding up to the shiny stars, the night was as cool as usual. We sat there for a few moments after finishing the last of the fish.  The remains we couldn’t eat were laying on a separate leaf. Casey had got to his feet before he bent back over, picking up the leaf carefully.  He started to carry it along the bank, and I watched as he threw the leaf with all the remains in the creek.  He then bent down to wash his hands in the creek before he came back, going over to the suitcase that held our toiletries.

He pulled out the toothbrush and the toothpaste we were both using. He looked over to me and observed me carefully before he walked over to me.  Looking down, he offered me a soft smile. “Come on. We should wash our hands and brush our teeth. Well, at least that’s what I’m doing. I can still taste the fish in my mouth.”

I watched him, my stomach jumping at the fact he wanted me to get up to go with him. I was sore, but I could still move.  So I smiled and got to my feet, fighting off a whimper as he continued to watch me. I walked with him to the edge of the bank of the lake, watching him as he proceeded to brush his teeth.

While he focused on that, I convinced myself that if I made a noise, he would hear me and be upset. That’s why I took my next steps with as much caution as I could.  As I bent down over the bank and slid my hands into the fresh water, shivers grew gradually up over my skin and arms. The slime on my hands running away with the flow of water, it made me feel much better.  Before I stood back up, I took a quick sip of water.

My back hurting, I ignored it as I stood next to Casey as he was finishing up.  Rinsing his mouth out, he then took a drink and thoroughly washed out the bristles of the toothbrush.  He stood, handing it to me along with the toothpaste.

I took it, brushing my teeth as well before rinsing as he had.  While I was doing that, I felt his eyes burn into me, watching and observing me for some reason.  After finishing up, I turned back to him and wasn’t able to take the silence.

“What?  Why are you staring at me?” I asked.

He only smiled at me. “You can’t hide anything from me.”

Well, great.  He was probably upset I didn’t say anything on the beach.  He would be mad that I put myself through that pain today of standing on those rocks the entire day.  Was it that obvious I was sore?

“What exactly are you referring to?” I asked.

He walked closer to me, watching me an inch away from my face.  Then, he moved to my back, his hand pressing hard into my lower back. 

“Ow!” I exclaimed.  The hard touch sent me letting out a small whimper.  I instantly turned around and out of his touch. 

His face was blank for a moment longer, watching me before I was able to make out some form of emotion.  He looked at me with eyebrows of anger, mouth set in a line.  “Why didn’t you tell me you hurt?  All day out in the water!  You stood all day sore while I sat in the shallow water.  Do you want me to feel bad for you or get pissed off because I feel both,” he said.  “Why didn’t you say anything?”

I groaned.  “I was fed-up with going another day without food.  I knew you felt the same.  What, you want me to come back and say my feet hurt so we might as well give up and starve?”

“No.  But we could have figured out a better way other than you putting yourself through that all day!”  He groaned and took my hand, pulling me back towards the fire.  “Come on,” he said.

“For what?”

He didn’t answer but rather pulled me along and closer to the fire, his features, and mine brightening along with our surroundings.  He pulled me under the shelter and next to the fire, his hands moving over my arms.  He knelt before me and made me follow, helping me to my knees though I could handle it.

“Casey, really, I’m just a little sore.”

He sighed. “I know.  It bothers me quite a bit that throughout the whole day — the
whole day —
you stood on sharp rocks, working your ass off, never sitting, and baking with sweat!  While I was sitting in the water with sand under my ass waiting for a little tug on my stick.”

Okay, I could now see why he felt the way he did.  He felt guilty I went through that all day as he just ‘lounged around.’  Regardless, I was kneeling before him now, and he moved around me. 

“Lay down,” he said in a softer voice.

“What? Why?”

“It will make you feel better.  Take your shirt off and lay on your stomach.”

Still kneeling with him kneeling behind me, I slid my shirt up over my head.  It made me immediately conscious again of my back, my scars, and that thankfully my hair was there to cover it.  I lowered myself to my stomach as my body regained more chills, the night air closing in.  But being under the shelter and next to the fire, I stayed fairly warm. 

My stomach touching the clothes that were already laid out where we sleep, I rested on the ground with the cheek against the fabric too. I watched the fire in my view and wondered what Casey was going to do.

Then, I felt his hands lightly on my lower back, moving slowly in circles.  As he did that, a thought came into my mind.  It seemed a little funny while also kind of unreal at the same time.

“Are you giving me a massage?”

He chuckled. “Yes. Is that okay?” He pushed his hands harder into my bare back, working up and down.

It had been years since I was given a massage.  The last time, I was around ten or so.  My dad would occasionally lay me on the couch, and lightly run his hands over my back.  I remembered my father’s rough hands digging in, massaging me as Casey was now.  I always loved the feel of it.  Of course, dad did that years before I ever saw a twisted side to him.

But now, laying on my back in the air, Casey’s hands were there to take care of me.  His hands were soft while rough at the same time.  I closed my eyes at the feeling, loving the sting it gave while also the pleasure. 

Chapter 51

Silence followed quickly behind the crackling of the fire. His hands moved over my skin, making my sore body feel wonderful and relieved with each touch.

“I’m sorry,” I finally said as he continued.  I could feel the tension between us rise for some reason and the need to say something.  Though I really was sorry.

I heard him chuckle softly from above me. “No, it’s fine. I just worry and wish you wouldn’t have gone through this today.”

“It’s not too bad,” I said, and it was the truth.

His hands dug harder, making me moan as he squeezed and worked over my back. “I know it’s only a little sore, but maybe I just want to do this for you.”

“Mmm,” I moaned and smiled, closing my eyes for a moment. “You’re so sweet.”

His hands inched over my lower back, moving up my sides before his fingers brushed over my hair, pushing it out of his way. The hair leaving my back let the air touch and brush coolly over my skin.  It was enough of a warning for me.

My eyes flashed open as he revealed my back and I instantly jumped at that, needing some form of cover besides a bra to hide my scars. I turned and looked up at him as he was leaning over my back.  His hands froze where they were after I moved and I quickly brushed my hair back over my back.

I read his face instantly as he read mine, and a realization was met. It made me blush. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I know it's ridiculous—”

“It’s very ridiculous. Your scars,” he scoffed as if I was being so foolish. “They are a part of you, a mark on how far you have come. Don’t feel ashamed of them. Never feel ashamed of your body. Never with me,” he added as his eyes moved down my body quickly before he found my eyes again.

“But…” I trailed off, desperate to come up with some excuse to say, anything just so he wouldn’t see the clear markings of abuse.

“This is the only thing between us. This is it, Janice. This is all that stands now. Let it go, let me in completely.”

With some wash of clarity over me, it became obvious this time that this was the only thing holding us back.  It was the only thing that symbolized a hold on my past. He didn’t know how I got the scars, but specifics like that didn’t matter.  All that mattered was that I shouldn’t be afraid of him seeing.

I lowered my head back to the clothing against the ground, resting my chin there as the rate of my breathing started increasing. His hands began to massage my lower back again, creeping up slowly to where my hair was.  His fingers finally found my long cascading hair, collecting my hair in his hand and grasping all the strands together. He brushed it aside and over my shoulder, exposing my back to the night air, all except for my bra.

Sure, he saw my back in full view before.  That wasn’t the point. It was the first time, right now, that I was opening myself enough to allow him to see my scars.  I wasn’t afraid after my hair disappeared from my back, sliding up around my neck, and out of his way.  He continued to massage me, his fingers gaining more playing field.

I shivered slightly under his touch, his chilly hands spreading wide and moving down my lower back. They moved up, spreading wide before coming back down and digging into my skin hard.  It brought a great amount of relief, forcing a soft moan from my lips. Fingers moving down my back, they pushed a little further under the top of my pants before coming up, making the shivers intensify.

“Wow, there are so many knots in your back,” he said.

I smiled as he continued, all the while unable to put my finger on what it was growing between the two of us right then. I felt the air around us change, the mood and tension shifting.

High, low, up, down, over and over along my lower back, he kept going.  Fingers moving up along my sides too, it made me shudder in need.  Even better was the feeling rolling over my nerves and leading to my heart. He didn’t need to do this, didn’t need to after it was technically my own fault for getting sore.  But as his glorious hands pushed into my back, I discovered I needed it long before today.

We were silent for the next few minutes, his hands working while I watched the fire, my cheek against the cloth on the ground. It felt so good. To know it was Casey doing this to me made it so much better. 

His hands broke the pattern and at that point, the air grew with more tension.  Maybe even more tension than what my back held now. As his fingers left my lower back and slid up, his fingers brushed over the bra with the clasp that rested higher on my back. I expected him to move past it and ignore the bound fabric, but that wasn’t what happened.

When he first unhooked it, my mind and heart nearly died. A second more and I discovered he unhooked my bra to have a larger playing field over my back for his hands.  Casey moved the two ends of it off my back to rest on my side. My front was still covered though as he continued.

I breathed a shaky breath as quietly as I could, wanting to avoid the fact that his hands were taking over me by the second.  His hands now moving up to my shoulders, he squeezed hard, making it almost hurt.  It felt relieving though at the tension released.  I shifted my head and pressed my forehead to the ground, groaning into the ground at his touch.

“That feels amazing,” I said into the ground.

“Thanks. You are really tight,” he said then he went on quickly. “Your muscles I mean. Your muscles are tight.”

I blushed but smiled, glad he couldn’t directly see my face.  At times, he proved to be such a dork. “Nice save,” I said.

He chuckled, but he went on, his hands going harder against the tough skin. “How do you get around every day? I’d be as stiff as a board with all the tension you have on your back.”

“I guess I never noticed before or I just became used to it.”

He moved his hands down, and I felt his fingertips run over the slight indents in my back from the scars.  A moment though of doing that led to the massage dying slightly.  He settled with just moving his finger up and following the line of one of the scars. Rubbing it up and down, he said nothing as his other hand searched over my back, looking for more marks to touch. It surprisingly felt good, him tracing the faded lines there.

“You are so strong.  You went through so much. The least you deserve is to feel relief.”

Right now, he had no clue how much I wanted relief. Not just from my tense back as he was describing.  I listened to his breath pick up slightly, his hands lightly inching over my skin, fascinated with the feel of my scars.  It made me happy that I allowed him to see my scars.  Something within me gave a thrill at him touching my scars, seeing my damage. While his hands were no longer on a mission to massage, his fingers moving over my back left small spurts of pleasure and sparks on my skin.

“My God, Janice,” he said from behind me, and I tensed at those words.

“What?” I asked, guessing it was something to with my scars. 

With my head resting on the ground, I could still feel his fingers moving.  But they stopped, one going back to massaging around my shoulder as his other went to the back of my head and stroked the hair there.  I felt his eyes dig into my scars.

“You’re so beautiful. Everything about you… is pure beauty.”

His words alone left my heart skipping. But with how he said it, as if in pain or awe, it intensified everything.  I felt his hands continue to move over my back and my hair.  Then, a new touch, a new movement started.  There was a second of hot breath brushing over my back before I felt his lips softly press against my lower back, kissing where the start of one of my scars was.

His lips moved slow and softly, creating a small vibration against my skin from where he moaned.  Then, a moment later, his lips were gone, only to find them back against my scar, slightly higher up my back this time.  He brought love to my scars that were filled with hate, his mouth moving up a little again.

“Don’t ever be ashamed,” he whispered against my skin when he broke to kiss up along my scars, his breath warm, and lips slow and nice.

Moving up more, he brought his other hand back down from my hair and began rubbing my back instead of actually massaging. His hands ran over the surface of my back and didn’t stop as they roamed over my sides.  I couldn’t help a groan from the feeling, his words, and his glorious touch.

“Oh,” I moaned.

“Baby…” He kissed my scar, moving up another inch and kissing there, his words spaced with each kiss. “You… are… amazing,” he finished, his mouth now pressing just below my shoulder blades where the scar ended.

It brought me a piece of home. A home I built with Casey. From the time we were stranded to now, a part of me began to creep back that I thought I lost forever. I was back, my life was back.  Every touch he made over me was another tie we had to each other. Every kiss, loving word, emotion — every moment of understanding made us grow, build a sacred home between the two of us. At this moment, I immensely felt it build up even more – to the point that I wasn’t conscious of what it was making me shiver more.

“Casey,” I groaned in need into the ground as he slid his lips up more. I wanted this man and every aspect.  His lips were nearly to my shoulder as he slowly continued kissing up, his hands moving to rest on my sides.  Then, his lips met my shoulder, going over the top with his teeth lightly grazing.

I lifted my head and tilted it up towards where his lips were, craning my neck.  In return, he lifted his lips and leaned in more.  I met his eyes with mine, his face a breath apart.  Moving his face forward more, his lips just brushed mine as I spoke.

“I’m yours.  I am all yours… and you are mine,” I breathed against his lips with a smile. “You will always be mine, and I am yours.”

His eyes searched my face, his eyebrows dipping in passion before he pushed the rest of the way to reach my lips with his. I kissed him slowly, gently back. His mouth was safe and welcoming, and it made my mind swarm.

The mood, the atmosphere between us, the feel of it all changed. Tension, love, and need were overwhelmingly present.  I could feel this was another large step in our relationship.

A moment later, his lips went deeper, passion still increasing in us and all around us it seemed. His breath brushed more rapidly over my face as his lips went wider over mine. Soft moans escaped me and my heart raced through my body, my head swimming with the knowledge that he was kissing me with all he had.

I pushed myself up and closer to him, using my elbows to prop me up as I deepened the kiss. It seemed unreal. To have him kissing me deeply as he hovered behind me… it seemed magical in a way. 

Then, his mouth moved down from my lips to suck on the skin of my neck, his teeth grazing slightly there.  The pleasure he was giving made me erupt with more groans.  I felt something large start to build between us, and it was soon proven too.

A second later, his weight was gone from where he was hovering over me, though his lips never left my skin. He pushed himself back to his knees and pulled me up with him. Both of us kneeling now, him still behind me, he pulled my back into his chest more and kissed harder against the skin of my neck and shoulder. My bra still covering me with the straps, I relaxed back into him.  With my hands, I reached up and over my shoulders where I slid my fingers into his hair, holding his lips to me while I stroked his hair.

“I love you,” he whispered over my skin as he kissed and nipped softly at the back of my neck, moving to my shoulder.  “So much.”

“Casey,” I moaned, overwhelmed by how wonderful he felt.

Was this it? Was this going to be that night? The night that will be run on love and not just lust?  I couldn’t stop wondering when we would actually do it. He said we should wait for the right time, and that was fine with me.  Was that time now?

In an instant, his hands slid down to grab my hips, his lips detaching as he spun me around, finally making me face him. His breath was rigid, his eyes wild as he knelt there, staring at me.  I became too aware of how my bra was hanging there by the straps around my shoulders.

We both appeared to be in some form of shock. My eyes over his strong arms, messy hair, and flushed cheeks.  When my eyes landed on the one feature I loved best about him, I couldn’t look away.  His eyes were filled with so much emotion, so much love and want. 

His hand gingerly rose, careful to rest his palm against my cheek. His gaze moved back and forth between my eyes and where he lightly began to stroke my cheek with his thumb as if he were scared to touch me.  That’s when I turned my head slightly more into his palm and began to kiss his hand on my cheek.  I could feel his eyes burning into me, watching me. 

I stopped a moment later as he drew his hand back only to lead it down to my shoulder.  He moved both hands to my shoulders, watching me intently.  He took a hold of the bra straps that rested on my skin and pulled them down and off.  My heart was pounding, my mind spinning with all the possibilities.  I was ready, and in the thick air between us, I felt he was ready too.

I always knew this would be an embarrassing moment for me, exposed to him.  I was showing him my body.  I knew he somehow saw me and my body to be beautiful.  Maybe I was because I felt more than beautiful around him. I felt happy, warm, and whole.  I knew I was right when I watched his eyes move down my body, heat in his gaze.  I was embarrassed but also excited too.