Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 2 (22 page)

“It’s not like I got a good connection with that idiot Soma. Don’t know if I have the info ya want, Eina……But what the heck, I’ll spill the beans on anythin’ ya want. So, what’ll it be?”

“…Do you know the reason behind the strange tendencies of the members of
Soma Familia
?”

“Hmm, right ta the good stuff, eh?…But how to explain it.”

Loki swirled the wine around in her hand a few times, watching the waves wrap around the inside of the glass.

After a few moments, Loki downed the remainder of the wine in one loud swig.

“Got it! I’ll tell ya a story ’bout me and Soma. Ah, just bein’ clear, the wine Soma. Not that idiot god, just t’be clear.”

“Ah, um, okay?”

“Well then…Ya know me, I love me some wine. Goin’ ta different shops, tryin’ and comparin’ all brands every day. Gettin’ drunk off my ass, pukin’, passin’ out…Livin’ the dream in a loop until one day…I ran into this li’l beauty, Soma.”

Reveria was staring at Loki with her eyes half closed, with no notion where the goddess was going with this. Loki, however, didn’t care, and continued her story.

“One of those fated meetings, I guess you could call it? It was love at first taste! Some
Familia
made it, but I didn’t care. Went ’round Orario, buyin’ Soma left ’n’ right…But while I was doin’ that, I heard somethin’ very interestin’.”

“Something interesting…?”

“Can ya wrap yer head ’round this, Eina? This wine is defective, a failure.”

Wha…
Eina remembered Bell saying he heard that from Lilly.

Loki’s smile grew deeper.

“Makes ya wonder, don’t it? A failure that’s this good? What about the successes, huh? I had ta know. Found my way to
Soma Familia
’s home base by myself.”

Eina was shocked and Reveria looked down on Loki with disgust. While the two gods weren’t exactly enemies, a god going directly into another’s territory was almost an open invitation for an attack.

Even the gods had manners. While part of this was to protect personal information, there was no reason for a member of one
Familia
to go waltzing into another’s home.

“Went up ta the porch, yellin’ ‘SOMA! Marry me! I’m beggin’ ya!’ But I was ignored, ta the point of gettin’ lonely…I was gettin’ ticked off, so I went inside without askin’.”

Eina rubbed her fingers up and down her temple as though she had a bad headache.

However,
Soma Familia
’s lack of resistance to an intruder added to her curiosity about the members themselves.

“Place was totally silent. Not a single child anywhere. This is their home, y’know? Why’d everyone be out at the same time? I could tell
somethin’ wasn’t right, and it gave me the chills…But I ignored it and perked up a bit. Went snoopin’ ’round the whole place.”

“……”

“I implore you, Loki. Do not reveal any more embarrassing information.”

“Ge-hee-hee, you’re no fun, Reveria. Anyway, couldn’t find the real Soma anywhere. Finally got to the point o’ gettin’ fed up with it, turn ta go home…and there he was, that idiot himself.”

Loki lowered her head as if remembering every detail of that meeting. Her smile vanished.

“I let out a big friendly ‘Hey, there!’ and that idiot responded with only ‘Welcome.’ Nothin’ else. It was our first time meetin’, y’know? Hardly ever looked at me, either, just stood there with a hoe in his hand. Was tendin’ ta his garden. Only heard ’bout this later, but he grows all the ingredients fer his wine. Ah, nothin’ too alarmin’ goes in, though.”

Loki continued to refill and drink the wine even while telling her story. Her bright pink cheeks were getting redder by the minute.

The tone of her voice went up.

“This Soma god…really pissed me off.”

“Huh?”

“Tried talkin’ ’bout everythin’, but all he did was answer ‘yeah’ or ‘hmm’ and kept on hoein’…He was implyin’ that his shit-filled fertilizer was above me.”

Just talking about this memory made Loki’s gaze grow more and more serious.

Eina was damp with sweat.

“That god was nothin’ more than an indecisive, pitiful coward. But he acted like I was some dumb scarecrow and ignored me…Makin’ me sick just thinkin’ ’bout it!”

“……”

“On top o’ that, Einy, on top o’ that!”

“E-Einy…?”

“Overlookin’ all of that, all of his rudeness and whatnot, I still asked ta taste the real ‘Soma,’ bein’ real polite and everythin’! Even bowed ta him! Me! What ya think that idiot’s answer was?”

Since Loki hadn’t sensed any kind of hard feelings from Soma, she thought there was a chance she could try the good stuff—if not a full bottle, then at least a cup or two. However, Soma finally stopped working and turned to Loki for the first time and said:

“I refuse.”

Apparently that was the first time he had shown any kind of emotion.

“Geeyahh! He’s supposed ta be on my side, but that kinda tone pissed me off more than ever!”

“Loki, get a hold of yourself. Stop going off on tangents and get to the point.”

“Hee-hee-hee.” Loki took a few quick, deep breaths to calm down before her face relaxed. She sank back into the sofa.

“Sorry, sorry. Beat ’round the bush a bit, but I asked that idiot about his
Familia
. When I asked, what he said made me sick, that idiot. He’s got absolutely no clue how to run a
Familia
, no sense at all. Like his heart wasn’t in it from the start.”

Eina’s thin eyebrows flicked up.

His heart wasn’t in it from the start…?

Well then, what was his goal? Eina had a new train of thought take off in her mind.

“Eina, don’t be thinkin’ too hard on it, y’know? The god known as Soma has only one thing in his skull: his hobby. Plenty o’ those types, right? Their head’s so far in the clouds, they can’t see nothin’ else. That idiot is case number one, the ultimate example. Not barbaric or evil, just purely livin’ fer his craft. A god o’ pure amusement. Guess you could say he’s the wise ol’ hermit of the gods—ha-ha!” joked Loki.

There were many strange and usual personalities among the gods, but Soma was weird even among them.

At least that was the impression Eina was picking up from Loki.

“Now, the problem is that wine, Soma. That idiot made his
Familia
for one reason only: his hobby. But they weren’t bringin’ in enough money. Not enough ta support his pastime, anyway—makin’ wine’s expensive, yeah? Couldn’t keep it goin’. What little brain he had told him to give them a ‘prize.’ Somethin’ really special—a trigger ta get them ta work harder.”

“Don’t tell me…”

“Yep, that Soma. The good stuff, yeah?”

A drop of wine from her last swig started to roll down Loki’s lip. She licked it up a second later.

“Eina, ya drank the failure, so ya probably know, but the real stuff isn’t playin’ ’round. It
takes
ya. Not talkin’ ’bout getting hammered outta yer mind, now. The deepest part of yer soul, the spirit, gets taken. Like it takes hold of the mind and body, like they’re not yer own.”

Whoosh.
A sudden chill ran through Eina.

She thought back to the warm, elated feeling she got from drinking the failure before.

Her senses had been swept away by the wine, in a good way. Her spirits had been lifted.

Something even more euphoric than that?

Goose bumps quietly erupted on her skin beneath her suit.

Loki then said, “Maybe if I put it like this, you’ll get it easier,” as a way of leading into her next sentence.

“The children who follow him aren’t there fer the idiot, but the Soma itself.”

Members of that group weren’t worshipping a god, but divine wine.

That meant that the reason
Soma Familia
had more members than the god Soma’s reputation would allow was because their spirits were taken by the wine he gave them.

His followers had fallen in love with wine that could give them more happiness than anything else with as little as one sip.

“That idiot is a real monster. He’s not gettin’ help from members with Enigma, he’s just growin’ ingredients, mixin’ ’em, and brewin’ them himself. That idiot has driven his hobby ta utter perfection.”

It suddenly came to Eina.

Part of the reason Loki referred to Soma as “that idiot” was out of fear and awe.

“He ain’t usin’ ‘our’ power, either. He’s usin’ the same abilities as his children, maybe even less, ta make somethin’ like that. Can ya believe that? In other words, human hands can make the wine o’ the gods. It’s, like, what the hell’d he do up in Tenkai, right?”

“Hmm, I think I see the gist of your story. The god Soma uses his wine as bait to lure in members…”

“Yep, that’s right. Once the members knew the flavor of Soma, they did anything they could ta get money. While I did call it a ‘prize,’ not everyone in the
Familia
gets an equal share. On top o’ issuin’ a quota, the idiot only gives the highest earners the good stuff. That
Familia
is at war with itself. Ah, yeah, those who fill the quota get a sip, most likely.”

Loki racked her brain, trying to remember. However, Eina had a realization.

This was why the
Soma Familia
members she sometimes saw at the Guild were obsessed with money.

They were thirsty for Soma.

“The more I hear about this, the more it sounds like a dangerous drug. Is it acceptable to let this continue?”

“Might just be my bad choice of words. The spirit ‘gets stolen,’ but yer brain doesn’t go up in smoke like that other stuff. Ya don’t go mad, just feel
really
good. Makes yer whole body tremble. Makes ya want ta take another sip, no matter what. But, just like with normal alcohol, that feeling will go away.”

Loki explained the difference between Soma and drugs like this:

There was no withdrawal with Soma. Its addictive qualities were not particularly strong.

Since Soma’s followers’ condition was only temporary, everyone would return to normal in time.

However, in the case of
Soma Familia
, members were given their next drink before the effects of the first dose had worn off. They were stuck in a hellish cycle.

“Can you explain what you meant by the addictive period being short?”

“Well then, there are loads o’ children who have tasted Soma but got cut off and managed ta recover, right?”

To add to that, it appeared that even Soma drinkers became tolerant of it over time. The strongest members of
Soma Familia
were almost always at the top, and therefore received the wine all the time. However, somehow they could drink it without their spirits being stolen, and stay normal.

Come to think of it
, thought Eina,
of all the members of
Soma Familia
who demand money at the Exchange, the ones who have reached Level Two are always much calmer and more collected.

“To sum it all up fer ya, the leadership of a careless idiot obsessed with his hobby, the allure of Soma, and the members cravin’ fer it all mix together ta make the craziness that infects
Soma Familia
.”

Normally, if the god at the top of a
Familia
had real interest in it, things wouldn’t turn out this way.

This was because if the one who empowered everyone raised their voice, the
Familia
would fall silent. If they didn’t, they would be stripped of their Falna.

All this information seemed to indicate that, although he was not at fault for the current conditions, Soma himself was responsible for setting them in motion and not putting them to an end.

“That’s all there is ta it, Eina. Anythin’ else ya wanna ask?”

“No, that’s all. Thank you very much for your time.”

Eina understood what was happening at
Soma Familia
.

While their craving for that special wine was a bit scary on its own, this was a case of her being too focused on appearances.

Eina came to this conclusion because their yearning for alcohol and large amounts of money were not much different from other adventurers trying to strike it rich quick in the Dungeon. The only scary part of it was how they chose to reach their goal.

However, according to Loki’s explanation, this was only a risk for part of the
Familia
, not every member. The supporter whom Bell had hired sounded as though she was perfectly normal, by the way he described her last time they talked.

A feeling of relief flowed through her as Eina deduced that it was highly unlikely that Bell would be thrust into a life-threatening scenario.

Loki watched her carefully and, upon seeing the look of relief on her face, opened her eyes a little wider.

“Eina.”

“Yes?”

“Do ya know what happens ta donkeys that have a carrot hung in front of ’em but can never reach it?”

Eina was dazed by this sudden, strange question.

Loki stuck out all of the fingers on both hands one by one and continued without waiting for Eina’s answer.

“The weaker ones get run over as the stronger ones go fer the others’ carrots, kickin’ and thrashin’ their competition outta the way.”

At first, Eina was confused. The answer dawned on her a moment later.

“That’s what’s happenin’ at that
Familia
. All the idiot does is hang carrots. Nothin’ can stop them now.”

Then Loki folded all of her fingers together, expect for the pinkie on her right hand.

“There might be a donkey that doesn’t care how many times it gets kicked down by its ‘allies.’ One who can’t do nothin’ alone…but in exchange skillfully spurs sympathy and pity from a different ‘master.’ A smart, uncompromisin’ donkey.”

The face reflected in Loki’s vermillion eyes suddenly tensed. Eina’s face.

“The new master might realize his carrots are gone, yeah?”

Loki sat up to peer into Eina’s eyes, sliding all the way into the sofa.

Pouring what little was left of the wine into Eina’s glass, Loki continued:

“Just thinkin’. If ya got a friend connected with one of ’em, ya might wanna let ’im know, just in case? Don’t think it’ll be serious, but there might be some problems. Gotta take care o’ adventurers at the Guild, yeah?” said Loki, crossing her legs and grinning.