Is Fat Bob Dead Yet? (3 page)

Up ahead they see Fidget collecting spare change from people whose cars remain stuck. Fidget slaps at something behind him, level with his coccyx.

“I bet he's got fleas,” says Manny, who doesn't want to get too close.

“Hey, Fidget,” calls Vikström, “hold up. I want to talk to you.”

Without turning his head, Fidget hurries forward, but his knees are iffy and keeping them stiff makes him look as if he's walking on stilts.

Vikström catches up with him and puts a hand on his shoulder. “Going deaf?”

“Jeez, Detective, this is prime picking time. If I don't get these people now, they'll be gone.”

Vikström shakes Fidget's arm. “What'd you see when the bike hit the truck?”

“Bike?”

“The motorcycle,” says Manny, “the motorcycle!”

“Yeah, I saw the Harley hit the truck. Is that what you're talking about? It was awful. I got blood on my coat.”

Vikström and Manny look at the multilayers of gray that cover the once-beige raincoat with an impasto effect. No bloodstains are visible, which doesn't mean they aren't part of the porridge.

“I mean, did you see anything you should tell us about?” asks Vikström.

Fidget swats a hand behind him to quiet his tail that's flicking back and forth like a twenty-foot bullwhip. He knows what Vikström is saying, but he also knows if he has any chance to turn this event into cash, he has to keep quiet. “What's to tell? I saw a Harley smash into a dump truck and a biker turned to splop. What's more to say than that?”

T
he gravel access road to the Hannaquit Breachway is the victim of months of bad weather and resembles, to Connor's mind, a long ravioli mold with indentations on either side. Half are filled with water, and Connor steers his Mini-Cooper around them as he heads toward the beach. At times he's thrown against his seat belt; at other times he's bounced up to bang against the roof. As protection he wears the black motorcycle cap from the accident. It helps a little.

On a ridge above the water, a white, older model Winnebago Journey has been drawn into a campground parking slot reserved for self-contained RVs. The campground, of course, is closed for the season, but Connor was told that an assortment of deals had been made, the truth of various falsehoods had been asserted, and bogus regulations had been upheld, all of which had permitted them to park illegally. When he questioned this, he was informed that the coast of Rhode Island was full of fellow Portuguese and that close associates had settled matters. In any case, the details hardly signified, because now, with a salt pond behind it and the ocean in front, the thirty-nine-foot Winnebago with two open slides is the sole vehicle in residence, which is how Connor's friends like it.

It's four-thirty, and Connor hasn't eaten. Getting boxed in on Bank Street upset many plans. Still, he's rented a post office box in New London, picked up a rush order from a printer's, made various purchases, and acquired several telephone books.

It would be wrong to say that Connor's mind remains a blur from the accident that morning, but he suffers from a sort of double vision as the bloody display of the biker, disassembled and confettied against the side of the truck, is repeatedly projected upon the scene around him: blue sky, sand, and tall pines, a breeze rippling the surface of the salt pond, the ocean extending to the horizon. So Connor exists in a state of wince, with his hands clutching the steering wheel.

He parks behind the Winnebago next to a gray Ford Focus rental. The Winnebago is at the end of the breachway, while to the left are about twenty empty RV slots. Farther on stand a row of summer cottages on stilts. Connor pauses to admire a snowy egret pretending to be a bush at the edge of the pond; then he gathers his Bruno Magli slip-ons from the front seat and takes his parcels from the back. The phone books he'll get later. With arms full, he makes his way around the side of the Winnebago to the front door, which is open. It's low tide, and the sea does little more than slosh. Gulls seek snacks along the waterline. From somewhere comes a rhythmic
thump-thump-squeak
, over and over.

Sitting in a lawn chair by the door is a man or a boy in a bulky black sweatshirt with his back to Connor. He's small, and his straw-colored hair is mostly cowlick. Leaning forward, he focuses on a yellow pad of paper balanced on his lap.

The question of whether he is man or boy is a question asked by many. His cheeks are pink and show no sign of facial hair. If we touched them, we'd be struck by the smoothness of his skin, and if he stood up, we'd see he's five feet tall. But he doesn't seem short as much as unfinished, as if he were waiting for two or three more growth spurts to top him off. Nor does he seem short when he walks, because his step is purposeful and his back straight. He will look businesslike even in a casual dawdle along the beach. As we might suspect, he copies this from Connor, whom he admires, just as Connor has copied it from his brother Vasco, but the boy or young man exaggerates the walk to the point that, in motion, he appears robotic.

Observing him, we might think him anywhere between thirteen and thirty. His head is long and shaped like a loaf of bread, with a high forehead, a stub of a nose, and a round chin. Along with the sweatshirt, he wears jeans and pointed black boots. Oh, yes, his nails are clean and nicely trimmed. This wouldn't need to be said, but it's the result of obsessive behavior, so Connor thinks. The fellow spends hours keeping them perfect, filing and painting them with clear nail polish. Another thing: his left eye is blue and the other green, and at times he seems to glance at you with the blue one and at times with the other; and the blue eye shows his feelings as one way and the green shows they're another, but they never show the same together.

All in all, the man or boy is a mysterious fellow, and Connor, who has known him a month, hasn't figured him out, meaning he never knows what he's thinking, if he's thinking at all. The most Connor can say is he's pretty sure he has Asperger's, or something like it; on the other hand, he might be simply weird. As for his name, or real name, Connor doesn't know it, though he and the couple inside the Winnebago call him Vaughn, because his voice has the same rippling, velvety baritone as the late singer Vaughn Monroe; and whenever Vaughn speaks, Connor feels a faint thrill, the same as he felt years ago when he first heard Vaughn Monroe sing “Riders in the Sky,” which was one of Connor's granddad's favorite songs. But Vaughn, or whatever his name is, has never heard of Vaughn Monroe. Or so he says.

Vaughn has another talent: numbers to him are what colors were to Van Gogh. He's a math whiz, which, for our purposes, means he's a whiz with computers and has developed formidable hacking skills. Perhaps he can't get into Pentagon computers or the computers of those pesky Russkies, but the computers of moderate-size businesses or organizations pose no problem. He's a twenty-first-century Peeping Tom. Not long ago he peeped for the sake of peeping, rather than for financial reward. But that's changed.

At the moment Vaughn is drawing squares on a yellow sheet of lined paper. These come in three shapes and are as exact as if measured with a ruler. The large squares form three across the top of the sheet and six down. Then three medium squares are in each of the large squares and three small squares are in each of the medium squares. But these are just today's squares. In his suitcase he has many other sheets of paper with squares of various sizes and configurations. When asked what they're for, Vaughn explains they represent his thoughts.

As Connor approaches, he asks, “Where's Didi?”

Vaughn turns and stares in Connor's direction, but he doesn't exactly look at Connor himself; instead his blue and green eyes stare at something past Connor's shoulder. Even after a month, Connor finds this unsettling, but he no longer turns to see who is behind him, though he may get a tingle in the back of his neck. Also, if an hour or more has passed since they were last together, Vaughn will act as though he's never seen Connor before. He does this now, as Connor smooths back the absent mustache that he shaved off when he split from his girlfriend. A moment goes by as Connor and Vaughn remain inert. Then Vaughn nods to the door of the Winnebago.

Again Connor hears
thump-thump-squeak, thump-thump-squeak
. “Eartha?”

But Vaughn is focused on the black motorcycle cap perched on the back of Connor's head. “What's that?”

Connor takes it off and turns it over in his hands. The red satin lining flickers in the sunlight. “A cap I picked up in New London.”

“Can I have it?”

“Why should I give it to you?”

“It's my birthday.”

“Is that so? How old are you?”

Vaughn continues to stare slightly over Connor's shoulder, and the stare seems as fixated as that of a snake hypnotizing a bird.

Connor can't think of a reason not to give Vaughn the cap, so he tosses it to him. “Happy birthday.”

The noises from inside—
thump-thump-squeak
—continue.

Vaughn holds the cap up to the sun. “Who's . . . Mar-Co-San-Tuz-Za?”

“The previous owner. He doesn't need it anymore.” In fact, thinks Connor, he has no head to put it on.

“It has blood spots.”

Connor hadn't seen them earlier, but now, bending over, he sees a few dark spots on the brim. Vaughn licks a finger, rubs at a spot, and holds up the finger, which has a red blush on the tip.

“You want to give it back?” Connor asks him.

Vaughn puts on the cap. It's too big for him and wobbles a little before coming to rest on his freckled ears. “I like blood.” He nods to Connor and claps a hand over his heart. “I'm internally grateful.”

Connor opens his mouth to speak and then changes his mind to say, “I've got phone books in the back of the car. Get them, will you?” Then he climbs the steps into the Winnebago and shouts, “All right, cut the racket! I'm home!” He crosses the floor to the dinette and empties a bag of cell phones onto the Formica surface of the table next to three laptop computers and a printer. From other bags he takes boxes of envelopes, order forms, receipts, and letterheads. The RV is a dozen years old, and the interior is shabby. The maple veneer peels from the cabinets and trim. Covering the couch, the love seat, and the cushions of the dinette set is an off-white plasticized cloth with gray baroque designs that resemble, in Connor's mind, spiders and spiderwebs and are meant to camouflage stains, spills, smudges: the weekly overflow. The tan linoleum resembles tile, and it, too, has camouflage properties so it can go weeks without cleaning and the interior of the Winnebago might still seem presentable. A propane tank takes care of the stove and hot water.

Connor sleeps on the couch, which folds out into a double bed with a very thin mattress. Vaughn sleeps on the love seat. The others, whose names are Didi and Eartha, have a queen-size bed in the rear bedroom. The living area smells of grease with a stronger smell of mold. From the bathroom comes a disagreeable smell that Connor can't identify. Perhaps a squirrel was trapped in the metallic maze of the Winnebago's undercarriage and perished.

The bedroom door bangs open, and Didi appears. He's Connor's uncle, or that's what he says, because two months ago Connor didn't know he had an uncle by the name of Didi, which is short for Diogo. If anything, he might be his father's cousin, since his name is Lobato rather than Raposo. But Connor's father has six brothers, and no way can Connor keep track of them. Possibly Didi isn't related at all, but Connor doubts this, because their business is a family business of many years' standing and Didi claims to be Portuguese. “You're a tugo; I'm a tugo,” he says.

Didi is about fifty and, as he says, “in tip-top shape”; he'll also say his thick, silver-gray hair “is completely natural.” He parts it down the middle, creating swanlike silver wings at the sides of his head. His face is nearly a perfect oval; his nose is long and straight. The rims of his ears have small scoops at the back as if something had taken a bite from each. Didi tucks his T-shirt into his jeans and then zips his fly. He wears the self-satisfied expression of a man at peace with his libidinous wishes.

“Where the fuck you been?” he asks without animus.

“There was an accident in New London. My car got trapped.” Connor describes what happened as Didi goes to the refrigerator for a Dos Equis.

“You're kidding,” Didi keeps saying, “you're kidding!” He holds the beer out to Connor, who shakes his head. Didi flips off the bottle cap, throws back his head, and drinks.

Eartha emerges from the bedroom, interrupting Connor's story. She's a young black woman, and she's naked except for the bottom half of a red bikini; she twirls the top half in her hand. Under an arm is a rolled-up towel. “You think it's warm enough to lie on the beach?”

Connor turns away, though he knows it doesn't matter. Eartha often walks around naked, drying herself after a shower, braiding her hair, or even cooking up a couple of eggs at the stove. Vaughn never pays attention, nor does Didi for the most part, leaving Connor to think he's being oversensitive and stodgy. But Eartha is a “black knockout,” which she repeats just as Didi repeats that he's in tip-top shape. In fact, her skin is a rich bronze. Maybe she's thirty. Her name isn't really Eartha; she's called that because she has a purr like Eartha Kitt. This is helpful in their work, which we'll get to shortly. Her real name is Shaw-nell, though sometimes she says it's Beatriz, a Brazilian name. And sometimes Didi says they're distant cousins.

Connor finds it difficult not to look at Eartha's breasts, which are melon-sized and nicely balanced. The nipples are pierced with silver nipple bars that have small rubies at the tips, which twinkle in the light. At times Connor thinks it's the nipple bars with their ruby dollops that attract him, but this is unlikely. His interest isn't aesthetic, which is why he turns away. He's afraid Eartha will think he's leering, and the occasion has not yet arisen when he can say it's the nipple bars that interest him and not their mounts. Since they've been together for only two weeks, Connor tells himself he'll soon get used to Eartha walking around naked, but so far it hasn't happened. Didi has said the breasts have been enhanced by implants and “have a nice bounce to them.” But they look real enough to Connor.

Didi puts the empty beer bottle on the counter. “Connor saw a guy on a motorcycle smash into a garbage truck. He absolutely exploded.”

Eartha puts a hand to her mouth; her large brown eyes grow larger.

“It was a dump truck,” says Connor, “a green dump truck. The driver backed out of an alley and boom!”

Connor continues his story as Eartha puts on the top half of her bikini. Didi ties it for her. Vaughn has entered with the phone books from the car and has set them on the table. He seems not to be paying attention to the story, but Connor knows he always pays attention. Connor is annoyed that the banality of his words doesn't convey the horror of the scene. “Boom!”—what the heck does that mean? He wants to exaggerate, gesticulate, make faces, but he does none of that. A guy on a Harley piled into the side of a truck. It cut him in two. The pieces flew all over.
I should have taken a video with my iPhone,
thinks Connor.

“I have his cap,” says Vaughn in his deep Vaughn Monroe voice. “Connor gave it to me for my birthday. It has blood on it.”