Irreplaceable (2 page)
“Everything all right?”
With a shrug, I snorted. “One guess.”
“Well, I brought your favorite: grilled cheese.” There it
was as he opened the bag: his sweet, all-teeth smile. It settled me so easily.
He waited for me to maneuver into a more comfortable
position to eat, then handed me my afternoon snack.
“Not even three days and you already know my favorite
sandwich. Stalker, much?”
Luke chuckled, and I couldn’t help but crack a smile. He
was so easy to be with—no drama, no expectations, no underlying tension.
“Are you familiar with these stalker types?” Luke raised
his brows, humor in his eyes as he pulled his own grilled cheese from the bag.
My shoulders rose playfully alongside the grin on my face
until I took a giant bite, closing my eyes and savoring the cheesy goodness.
“So, mind telling me why your mother left here looking
like she just found out the doctors changed their minds about sending you home
Friday after all?”
“You heard?”
“Yeah, Hilary made sure everyone in Harmony knew this
morning after your mother called her,” he explained.
“Of course she did.”
Hilary had to be beyond excited. She hated seeing me
there, and every visit ended with her in tears no matter how much I tried to
convince her I was going to be as good as new soon enough.
Luke’s lips twitched. “You know she means well.”
I nodded in agreement.
“All right, so I have thirty minutes till my butt has to
be back in my office chair. Your pick: Battleship or…” He pulled out a travel-sized
version of the game and sat it down, reaching back in with a wide, cheeky grin.
“Candy Land?”
I let out my first real guttural laugh of the week, which
was followed immediately by a tearful cry. My ribs rumbled in my chest, and my
body dropped back against my pillows, pain slashing through me.
The chuckle grew into a nasty groan. I sucked in my
bottom lip to control the scream about to burst out and fill the halls. It hurt
worse than nearly anything I’d experienced before. Only one other wound claimed
the most painful spot, and that was my broken heart and fractured confidence in
men.
“Sorry, you want me to get the nurse? Get you some more
pain meds?”
My head shook just the slightest bit, not wanting to move
as the throbbing began to subside.
“You’re too tough for your own good.” He let out a
relieved breath and ran his hand over his forehead. “Okay, let’s try this
again…slowly. No laughing. Battleship or…”
I sucked in my lips again, hands gripping the rails of
the bed, but this time bracing myself to keep the laughter at bay. His face was
so serious, which only made it harder.
“Battleship!” I whispered, biting my bottom lip to
control my breathing.
“Good choice.” He chuckled and cleared the tray table
hovering above me to set up the game.
As he focused on placing his ships, he asked, “It was
about Logan, huh?”
“What?” I looked up from the game, melted cheese stuffed
in my mouth. He hadn’t mentioned Logan the entire week. I honestly wondered if
he even knew about him.
Luke’s gaze rose from the game and locked with mine.
“Hilary made it clear to Caleb and me not to mention the guy, but I saw him
having lunch with your mother the other day. That’s why you guys were fighting—because
of him?”
I swallowed and took a sip of water. “I wasn’t fighting
with my mother. I just need her to understand that I can take care of myself.
And I especially don’t need Logan’s help.”
“I’m not surprised he would want to help you out. The
guy’s loaded, you know.”
“So are you and Caleb. What’s your point?”
His smile fell away for only a faint second, but I caught
it. The Townsends were the wealthiest family in town—well, before Mr. Logan West
strolled in, anyway.
“No, my father is rich. I make the same amount of money
as any other college grad working for him. And Caleb…I’ve yet to figure out the
story of where he disappeared to the past few years. But he definitely did well
for himself.”
“Good for him. I’m happy he’s happy.”
“My brother’s certainly happy today. When I went in to
get lunch earlier, Logan was there, and they were laughing about a poker game
they had last night. Caleb won ten grand from him. So if Logan wants to help
you, let him.”
Logan met with my mother and went to a poker game all in
one day? Yeah, he was really hard up with suffering for me.
“You know what?” I avowed, snatching up my last few ships
and placing them strategically. “If Logan thinks he knows me at all, he’s in
for a big surprise. I don’t need his handouts, and I’ll be damn sure he gets
that memo.”
“Still the stubborn girl I remember.” Luke smiled
proudly. “Now, get ready to have your ships blown up in your pretty little
face!”
“We’ll see about that, Mr. Townsend.”
As we played our second round, a
soft knock sounded from my door.
“Expecting company?” Luke asked, standing and walking
over to open it.
I shrugged my shoulders in reply. Hilary was at school
and my mom at work, and neither tended to knock, so I wondered who it could be.
On instinct, I brought the blanket higher over my chest, hiding the bruises
that covered half my body.
Luke opened the door, and there stood a bundled-up Oliver
with a nervous smile on his face and his hand wrapped around Julia’s.
“Hi,” Julia said, staring straight at me, her expression
clouded with apprehension.
I smiled, surprised but happy to see them.
“I better get back to work,” Luke said, walking toward
me. He collected the game, tossed it into his bag, then leaned down to hug me
and whisper in my ear. “You have some serious explaining to do as to why I
never met this girl before.”
I gave a subtle nod and smiled.
Luke must’ve smiled at Julia as he left, because she had
an answering grin playing on her lips. Her eyes followed him, head turning just
enough to watch him leave.
If it weren’t for Mark, Luke and Julia would make
a great couple
, I thought to myself.
A soft cough sounded and my gaze fell to Oliver, whose
lip was twitched up at the side.
“Hi,” he whispered, shifting his feet.
“Oliver!” I smiled so big my cheeks stung and eyes
squinted. I was happy to see him, but anxious about what he must’ve been
thinking. I knew I looked wrecked. “Come here and give me a hug.”
To my surprise, he rushed over, but then stopped abruptly
and stood beside me, eyes wide.
“Are you okay?” His voice cracked, and my heart melted. I
wanted to cry.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I managed.
He looked curiously at the bandage on my arm, where I had
a few stitches. “Do you hurt?”
I shook my head, a reassuring smile firmly in place, and
gave the most believable lie I could muster. “No.”
Oliver seemed convinced, as his smile broadened. “Here, I
made this for you.”
In his hand was a green piece of construction paper that
was folded into a card. On it was a drawing of my tree house, with a bright
rainbow behind it. I opened it and smiled at his large, careful handwriting: ‘GET
WELL SOON, CASSIE’.
“Thank you.” I leaned over and pulled him into my arms
for a hug.
It was great seeing him, but not if it meant he’d worry
about me. With a slight intake of breath, I willed the beckoning tears from my
eyes and watched him hop into the chair Luke had occupied moments earlier.
“I hope you don’t mind us stopping by. Oliver refused to
go to school until he was able to see you. Logan brought him home late last
night.”
Of course. Why would he bring his son home earlier if he
had poker games to play and sympathy money to hand out? I refused to let it irk
me any longer—especially during the few minutes I had with Oliver.
Looking at the young tot, I smiled. He had a way of
pulling the optimistic side right out of me before I knew what was happening.
“I’m glad you came, but make sure to go to school
tomorrow. Promise?” I held out my pinky, and he wrapped his around it.
“Promise.”
“So, how was your time with your grandma?”
He rested back into the chair that overwhelmed his tiny
frame, getting comfortable. “Great! She’s fun, and I told her all about you and
Scout. She wants to see you too.”
I grimaced. Meeting Logan’s mother was no longer on my
to-do list.
“You really like flowers a lot, huh?” Oliver sniffed the
bouquet closest to him.
“They were gifts. Flowers have a way of helping people
feel better when they get sick.”
I looked to Julia, whom I caught glancing at the door.
She stood at the end of my bed quietly.
“Did they make you feel better?” Oliver asked.
I nodded, smiling, looking around the room at the dozens
of vases. “Yeah, they did.”
We sat quietly for a moment before he spoke again.
“Where’s Scout?” he asked.
“At Hilary’s. She’s taking care of him for me till I can
go home.”
He scrunched his nose and looked down at his lap. “Oh.”
“If you want to see him, I’m sure she’d bring him by.”
“I wanted to watch him.” He peeked up, disappointed.
“I’m not sure if your father would like that,” I
explained. “I’m not going to be able to really take care of him for a couple
weeks, and—”
“I can ask him!” Oliver scrambled out of the chair and
raced to the door before I could speak up. “He’s right outside.”
My voice vanished, lost somewhere in my constricting
throat alongside my held breath. Blood raced through my veins, leaving me
paralyzed in silence.
Logan was there. Of course he was.
“Daddy!” Oliver pulled open the heavy door, struggling to
keep it from closing on himself until a large, familiar hand grabbed the other
side, holding it open from the hall. “Daddy, come in.”
I froze, unsure of what to say or do. Logan was seconds
from seeing me, and for some reason I was overly concerned that I looked like
hell.
What was wrong with me?
After everything he put me
through, and still…I found myself attracted to just the thought of him. Maybe
he’d come in and see the shreds of his check covering the floor. That lightened
the heaviness filling my chest.
My hands gripped the blankets for dear life when Oliver
grabbed his father’s arm and nearly dragged him into the room. He seemed…different.
He looked tired, and was dressed in faded blue jeans and a grey T-shirt that peeked
out from his wool coat.
“Hello.”
The word was entirely too soothing, and I felt walls
beginning to encase my heart, protecting me and reminding me his voice was
nothing more than a lie—a deceitful charm.
I sat silently. Oliver spoke up, tugging at Logan’s coat.
“Can Scout stay with us? Please, Daddy!?”
Logan’s eyes never strayed from mine as he answered. “Of
course, if Cassandra doesn’t mind.”
My head bobbed twice. That was all I had, and luckily it
was enough. Oliver squealed, thanking both his father and me until Julia
wrapped her hand in his and leaned down to whisper in his ear. It took all my
effort to keep my eyes focused on Oliver, but by the uncomfortable tingling of
my skin, I knew Logan was still watching me intently.
“Okay,” Oliver answered Julia. He smiled at me. “I have
to go so Daddy can talk.”
Julia half chuckled, and I had a feeling he wasn’t
supposed to say that part.
“But you can talk to me, too,” he added.
Before I could agree with him and tell him how much I
wanted to talk only to him, Julia chimed in. “Why don’t we go see if they have
Jell-O in the cafeteria?”
Oliver’s big blue eyes brightened. He looked at me and
smiled. “Do you like red Jell-O?”
“It’s my favorite.”
“Mine too! I can bring you one.”
“Sounds great.”
Julia began to lead him from the room when he stopped and
looked back at Logan. “Just tell her you’re sorry, Daddy.”
Strength
“You got the flowers, I see.”
That was it? His first words to me after a shallow
‘hello’ were a frivolous observation about the flowers? How could he stand
there and talk about flowers?
I met his gaze and gave a drawn out, “Mm-hmm.” No way was
he getting a ‘thank you’ out of me.
‘Awkward’ was the only word to describe the tension
building between us the longer he stood there. He finally shifted his gaze,
which flickered from the flowers, went once around the room, and landed on the
floor beside my bed.
Confused, I watched the tormented look soften his face as
the corner of his mouth curled up. He bent down, picking up a piece of the
destroyed check.
Pride filled me.
That’s right—I’m not one to be bought
.
“I see you’ll be needing cash next time.” His voice was
sweet and almost humorous, nearly breaking my resolve to stay cool and urging
me to act on impulse by chucking the vase of flowers beside me straight at him.
Grinding my back teeth, I narrowed my eyes. “Go for it,
and you’ll have some expensive confetti for your next orgy,” I hissed. I hadn’t
realized exactly how pissed I was until I’d seen that damn grin on his gorgeous,
unshaven face.
He held firm, unaffected. “Never been to an orgy. Not my
scene.” He gave a tight-lipped, easy smile, as though we were enjoying a casual
conversation.
“Julia could have brought Oliver herself, so why are you
here?”
His gaze fell to my chest when I sat up further, a frown
marring his once-calm expression. I tugged at my blankets, pulling them higher
to hide the deep bruises peeking out.
He cleared his throat, soft and remorseful eyes rising
back to mine. “A few reasons—one being my son insisted I come.”
He was a good father, yet that didn’t change a thing
,
I told myself.
“However, it all comes down to the fact that I couldn’t
stay away any longer. I promise, I tried. These past days have been pure hell,
my nights restless with nightmares tormenting me.”
I knew all about nightmares. He got no sympathy from me.
“As hard as I tried to give you space and keep myself
from stepping foot in this damn hospital, I can’t do it any longer. I’m going
mad not being near you, not knowing that you’re really okay. That you’re safe.”
I had no response. His words cut through me, leaving me further
muddled. Truthfully, I just couldn’t deal with the emotions his words awoke
inside me. Instead, I rolled my head to the side, facing the window, ignoring
his movements around the room.
“You can go,” I said finally, closing my eyes so tight
that bright-yellow spots were all I could see beneath the lids.
“No, I think I’ll stay a while. Oliver is coming back up
with your Jell-O, so I’ll wait here till then.”
“Suit yourself.”
Please leave, please leave, please leave.
The ache
from his presence was too much to bear. My breathing grew more ragged with each
passing second as anger stewed within.
“Cassandra, I—” I heard him sigh, then felt the bed dip.
He was not sitting on my bed!
I looked back and pushed him off. His face was stunned,
almost hurt.
Good!
“Get the hell out, Logan! You’ve won, all right!?” He
stood there, staring at me. “You proved I was just like every other girl you
meet, ready to hand herself over for you to devour. Now LEAVE. ME. ALONE!” I
yelled. My head rolled back to the side and I buried my face in the pillow, too
numb to cry and praying he’d just leave.
I maneuvered my body to lie on my side, my injured leg
still flat on the bed and my back to him. To my relief, he never spoke again,
but I could feel him inches behind me, my body soaring to life when his warm
hand settled on the back of my neck.
Something inside me broke. His touch was so tender, so
soothing; it devastated me that my body still reacted to it. I couldn’t think,
couldn’t breathe. My throat constricted, heart racing as sobs bubbled inside
me. I sucked in a deep breath, cringing at the agony my chest endured. Hot,
thick tears sprung to my eyes, but I fought to hold control—fought to keep them
from pouring out.
I couldn’t allow him to see the real damage he did under
the surface, beneath my bruised and battered body: the gaping hole he left in
my heart.
Logan’s fingers drifted down my spine and back up again,
attempting to soothe me further. But the problem was that it was him causing
the need to be soothed. His fingers slid down again over the fabric of my gown,
enraging me, reminding me of the harsh reality of what I was to him.
Then, as his fingers landed at the small of my back, they
slid back up, soothing the pain he’d just inflicted. Again and again. Pain and
comfort. Agony, then serenity. My head was spinning.
“Cassandra, I never meant to hurt you.”
With a swipe of my hand across my nose, I rolled back and
held up my hand, shushing him, struggling to pull myself together just as the
urge to urinate hit hard. An idea popped in that I felt was just the thing to
get him to leave me in peace. I couldn’t hear his voice any longer; didn’t want
to hear any of his excuses.
With focused determination, I searched the blanket for
the buzzer.
Logan grabbed my hand. “What are you looking for?”
I yanked it away, narrowing my eyes at him. “None of your
business.”
Once it was in my hand, I pressed the button. Instantly,
a nurse at the desk answered. “How can I help you?”
“Yes, I need to use the restroom.”
“A nurse will be right in to help.”
Of course, Logan didn’t get the memo that now was a great
time for him to give me some privacy. Instead, he cocked his head to the side
with a resolute stare and then, to my shock and horror, shoved one hand gently under
my back and the other under my knees, lifting me from the bed.
“Put me down!” I shrieked in a panic.
He didn’t listen, and I was too sore to get away. The
blanket began to fall but I held it firmly, not ready for him to see the giant
bandage covering my thigh, even though he might have felt it with his arms
wrapped under me. As I held tightly to his neck with one hand, something yanked
at my other hand holding the blanket, tugging at the tape-covered skin.
“IV!” I spit out.
He stopped immediately and grabbed the IV stand, rolling
it beside us as he carried me to the restroom and kicked open the door.
My grip around his neck tightened as he bent down, lifted
the lid, then rested me on the toilet. I wanted to die. My face burned, and I
could only imagine the deep shade of red covering it. I maneuvered the blanket
to cover my lap fully and sat there staring at him, wide-eyed.
Did that really just happen?
“I’ll wait outside the door.” He said it so calmly I was
left speechless.
As my brain began to spark back to life, fury piqued
inside me. How was I expected to pee with Logan right outside a door I realized
very quickly was left a crack open?
Hell no!
“Close the door!” I yelled out.
“Just pee.”
“Not until you close the door!”
“What if you fall and I can’t hear you?”
Was he really justifying leaving the door open enough to
listen while I used the restroom?
“Shut the damn door, Logan, or I swear to God—”
“Is everything all right in here?” I heard Marilyn, the
day nurse, ask, and relief flooded me. She was the sweetest but toughest nurse
I had—always the one to force me out of bed to walk up and down the hall, with
her at my side, to keep the muscles in my legs strong.
“Yes, can you please shut the door for me?”
The next thing I knew, the door was closed, and I heard
the muffled voices of a conversation between Logan and the middle-aged redhead.
The woman was ruthless; she would lay into him. I smiled at the image.
Quickly, I was able to focus on the task at hand. I’d
never peed so fast in my life. After I finished my business, I heard the voices
quiet. I struggled to lean forward enough to reach the sink and wash my hands
in record time, then called for Marilyn.
“You ready?” she asked and, when I gave a quick yes, the
door opened to reveal her laughing at something Logan was saying, her hand on
his shoulder. He looked me over, as if I might’ve gotten hurt during the sixty
seconds I’d been in there.
In two long strides, he was in front of me, smiling.
“Feel better?”
I rolled my eyes, snubbing him. I’d hoped Marilyn would
be there to help me up, but Logan scooped me back into his arms. His scent was
all I could focus on, committed to not making a scene. A part of me missed his
natural scent: so masculine and clean. So Logan.
“It’s safer if she walks,” Marilyn complained, but he
continued until he was beside my bed, placing me back down gently.
“Was that really necessary?” I sneered, not bothering to
look his way as I smoothed the blanket back out over my legs. I swatted his
hand away when he tried to help.
Marilyn laughed, earning her a sneer too, which she only
shrugged at. “Well, I’ll leave you two alone,” she said, and left the room.
Back in place, I was ready for sleep to end my mortifying
torture of the day’s events—even if that meant enduring another nightmare.
I looked up at him. “Seriously, you can go. I’m sure
Oliver and Julia will be back any minute, and I don’t plan on having anything
else humiliating for you to witness before then.” I focused my gaze on the
opposite wall, waiting for some wisecrack on his part.
Instead, his hand caught my chin, pulling my attention
back to him very slowly. The moment my eyes met his, he released my face. I sat
frozen from the agony written over his expression.
“I’m not leaving until you listen to me—until you
understand that I’m never going to walk away from you again.” His hand came
back, his pointer finger running over my cheek briefly, but it only added to
the agony on his features. His fingers withdrew as though they’d been burnt.
“I fucked up, Cassandra. I hate myself for it and I can’t
take it back, but I will spend every day and every night proving I can be the
man you need me to be.”
His eyes were so soft, voice so sincere, but I couldn’t
let it get through my defenses. I couldn’t go there again. The pain was too
much. He didn’t really want me—it was only guilt he felt.
“Logan, I—”
He silenced me with a single tear that lingered in his
clouded blue eyes before falling to his cheek.
His eyes closed for a moment then opened, begging me to
hear him out. “Don’t. Don’t tell me no, or that it’s too late. I’m already
aware of that, but I won’t give up. I just need you to know…I’m never letting
you walk away from me again.”
“I got Jell-Os and found blueberry muffins!”
I swallowed the fresh tears brewing and mammoth emotions
buzzing in my gut, and smiled at Oliver walking in as though everything was
always rainbows and sunshine. I wished it were so easy.
“Thanks,” I said, pulling on a forced smile.
Logan backed away so Oliver could hand me the small plate
and plastic spoon.
“Bet it’s not as yummy as yours, d’ough.”
I smiled. No matter how much anger I held for his father,
Oliver was as sweet a child as you could find.
“We should get going. Cassandra looks tired,” Julia said,
sensing the tension in the room. I offered her a grateful but uncomfortable
smile.
“I’ll come see you when I get home, and I’ll have Hilary
bring Scout by tonight for you,” I told Oliver.
He stretched up on his tiptoes and rested his head over
my chest. My arms held him in place for a pause, relishing the comfort he
exuded. I brushed a hand through his mop of blond curls. “Make sure Scout gets
lots of love,” I whispered.
He looked up and nodded. “I will. Promise.”
He was such a good kid. Luck was definitely on my side
when fate placed him in the house beside me. If only I could say the same for
his father.
Logan walked back to my bed, and my posture stiffened
when he leaned down. “I’ll be back tonight with dinner, and we’ll finish
talking,” he murmured. “Till then, sleep well.” His lips brushed over my cheek,
lighting my soul on fire in spite of myself.
Closing my eyes, I sunk into the stiff mattress.
Sleep
is exactly what I need right now
.
