Iron Elf - A Race Reborn (Book 2) (19 page)

I looked at everyone. Borlog was old for a human and Zukaldi was past his middle years but Mina, Conrad, and I seemed the same age. We weren’t, of course. Mina and I were young for our kind but ancient for a halfling. I could have been Conrad’s grandmother. But the scars on his face and arms told me he was no child.

“I’ve been all over Brandish these sixteen years. Thanks to your gifts, Mina, I was able to work as a travelling merchant while I learned the ways of the world.”

“He tried to get into the Temple of the Gentle Fist, can you believe that?” Borlog said. “I found him at the foot of the mountain, all forlorn.”

“What happened to Sandy?” Mina asked. She explained that Conrad had been left with a halfling girl, a refugee from another world.

“I left her with the Fighting Nuns,” Conrad said. “I couldn’t stay. Too much rage in my heart, they told me. But it was too dangerous to keep her.”

“He was a heartbroken lad when I walked up to his camp. It convinced me to stay on and be his teacher.”

“You mean the rabbits I was roasting convinced you to stay on.”

“Ha!” Borlog rested his head on his arms. After a while he began to snore.

“It’s past his bedtime,” Conrad said. “A savage fighter, but he needs more rest these days.”

I leaned back. “Four wandering heroes. I’m surprised I haven’t heard of you before.”

“We stormed the Terror Tower. “

“Sorry.”

“We solved the mystery of the Old Sundial.”

I shook my head.

“We ended Commodore Morgana’s sea-roving.”

“That was you? I thought it was Serrato Alva. Good show!”

He sighed. “We don’t get enough feybook coverage.”

Zukaldi shrugged. “Still, it’s a living. And this way I get to help people. Can you believe they burned down by clinic?”

The noise in the lounge shifted. A woman was walking toward us. She had long sharp eyes, blonde hair, and golden skin. Not uncommon among elves, but most elves didn’t wear a shiny yellow catsuit like some kind of lewd trophy. She moved like molten metal. “Meerwen Elanesse?”

“Who wants to know?” I asked.

She punched at my head. I kicked at her crotch. We stopped before we could connect.

She smiled. “Nice reflexes.”

“My teachers were demanding.”

“And mine were expensive. Who got the better deal, I wonder?”

“Care to find out?”

She took an ampoule out of hammerspace, flicked it, and broke off the tip. “It’s her, milord. She’s at the Crippled Boar.”

“Good work, Apollonia. Bring me in.”

She lifted her arms and brought them down. Wind swirled as a vacuum formed in empty space. And then the space was no longer empty. Standing before me, in a tailored silk suit, was the man I’d hoped not to meet. He smiled through his moustache. His goatee was waxed to a point. Angrod would’ve envied him at once.

“Hello, Czeleborn.”

“Hello, Meerwen. You look lovely.”

“Dashing as ever.” I allowed him to kiss my hand. “Friends, this is Baron Czeleborn. He owns most of the province.”

“Any friends of Meerwen are friends of mine. I invite you all to my house. Your father told me to expect you.” He took a feybook from Apollonia. “He said, Please detain my daughter until I can arrive with my troops. Take a look.”

It was in my father’s scrawl. “But we can’t stay. We’re on a mission.”

“I respect your father’s judgement. It will also take me a day to muster my own men. I’m sorry, but I must insist.”

“The lady said no.” Conrad was about to get up but I pushed him down.

“You can’t win,” I told him. To Czeleborn I said, “We’d be happy to take up your invitation.”

“Excellent! We shall teleport directly.”

I walked into Mina’s room naked. “I need my clothes.”

“What—what—” She looked down. “Is that—? What happened to the little black dress?”

“It got torn. Hurry!” I looked at her more closely. “Are you drunk?”

Apollonia had teleported us directly to Czeleborn’s pleasure palace. The rooms were luxurious but the windows were barred. Czeleborn had invited me to a late evening snack in his apartments. He’d given me a satin dress to wear. Apollonia’s dress, if the look on her face was any indication.

“Did you walk all the way here naked?” Mina asked. “And the guards let you pass?”

“Naked is almost the dress code here.” I found yesterday’s clothes and began putting them on. I could’ve used a wash, but it would have to do. “And the guards know me. Czeleborn and I were almost engaged.”

“Engaged? So he’s—”

“An ex-lover, yes. Zip me up, will you?” She helped me into harness as I explained. “I had to wait till his guard was down. Left him tied to his own bed. Like I told you, I’ve been to Lamemheth before.”

“This explains the leather catsuit.”

I pulled on the boots. “It’s tactical.”

She handed me a riding crop. “Perfect!”

I looked at the crop. “So you’ve found the toy cabinet. Are those men’s clothes on the floor?”

“I was trying to ring womb shervice. I mean, room service. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!”

“Hello, Mistress.”

I threw the riding crop away. “We don’t have time for this.” I pulled my gloves on. “We find Conrad and his crew and we’re gone from this place. But first, can you do something for me?”

“What is it?” Mina asked.

“Put some pants on.”

There was another set of rooms down the gilded hallway. From the beer kegs and dancing girls it looked like they’d found the Emergency Party Button.

“Give me strength,” I said.

“Great music!” Mina said. “What does this button do?”

“Don’t touch that!” Too late. “Nevermind. Let’s find the guys and get out of here.”

Conrad, Borlog, and Zukaldi sprawled on a couch, moving their heads to the music. A cloud of smoke hung over them.

“What is love?” Conrad asked. I hauled him to his feet. “Get up. Get up!”

“Baby, don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt me.” I kicked him toward his rooms. “Get dressed!”

“Just one more bucket of chicken?” Borlog asked, but I slapped him. “No more!”

“I’ve had enuff!” Zukaldi said. “I’ll clear my head!” He knocked himself out with his own hammer.

CHAPTER 17: ANGROD

It was Saturday. I woke up slowly, savouring the luxury of a warm bed and somebody to share it with. Eyes closed, I reached over and embraced her. “Good morning,” I said.

“Sir, that’s highly inappropriate.”

“Wah!” I jumped back so fast I fell off the bed. I lay on the floor a moment, ashamed, until I realized. “Dagonet, why the hell are you in my bed?”

“Haven’t had a real bed in weeks, sir.”

It was true. She looked like she’d gone a long time without a good night’s sleep, to say nothing of a hot meal or a bath. She looked like a homeless woman. A cute homeless woman, that you wouldn’t mind having in your bed after a good scrubbing.

“I’ve been dodging the capran army,” she said. I raised an eyebrow but she said, “Do you think I can eat something first?”

I ordered an extra-large breakfast. She ate quickly but delicately. I busied myself with Vitus’s fight books. There was quite a bit on capran anatomy, always useful when you’re preparing to kill one. Aside from being more robust, it wasn’t much different from halfling anatomy, and halflings had none of the frills that other races had. Pound-for-pound, dwarves were the strongest humanoids. Humans had multiple redundant organs that, along with their healing factor, made them hard to kill.

And elves? Well, our nervous systems are somewhat more complex. Our senses are sharper, our reflexes faster. We aren’t smarter, but we can visualize things with great detail. I can build a working mechanical clock in my imagination. Two of us can play three-dimensional chess without a board. And, of course, we can manage complex magic spells.

There wasn’t anything in the book about halflings, dwarves, humans, or elves but there was a lot on centaurs, the dead race that had created the goat people. The books outlined so many ways to kill them I suspected the caprans had “helped” them on their way to extinction. I said as much to Dagonet.

“Do you know why the horse people bred the caprans in the first place?” she asked.

“Weren’t they meant to be the centaur’s final legacy?” I helped myself to some toast.

She snorted. “That’s how it turned out, but I asked someone. At knifepoint. The centaurs created them to serve as dairy animals.”