Invisible (3 page)

Chapter 4

Present Day

Lainie

I woke up with tears running down my face. Dreaming of Jax always made me sad, remembering how close we had become that year before everything fell apart. I smiled until I remembered that he couldn’t know I was
his
Lainie. A phone call would be first on my list of things to do that morning. Matt needed to know that Jax almost recognized me. After my shower, I limped to the dressing table to sit and put in my contact lenses and apply makeup. Staring at myself in the mirror, I wished I didn’t have to wear the brown contacts. My short, blonde hair reminded me that I couldn’t be Lainie—I must be Dr. Parker—being Lainie might get me killed. Matt would probably move me again; anything to keep me safe.

As I put on my makeup, Lainie gradually disappeared, replaced by Elizabeth Parker. For a moment, I let myself fantasize about a normal life—maybe even a life with Jax—maybe even marriage, family, and babies. I wouldn’t let myself think about that. I could never have a normal life as long as Keith was alive. For years, my wishes and prayers had been for him to rot in prison forever, but nothing was guaranteed, and I would never be safe until he was dead. That bastard was the reason I wasn’t allowed to have a normal life.
Knowing he’s in prison is the only thing that keeps me sane.
I shut my eyes and blocked out the memories of the night that changed everything. I made sure my locket was hidden under my clothes—it was a gift from my dad just before he died. There was a picture of him and Mom inside, and I was thankful to still have this small piece of him.

All the reminiscing made me late. I grabbed yesterday’s mail off the counter and shoved it in my purse, hoping I’d have time to go through it today. Sheila was already in the office when I arrived.
Good, I get nervous walking into my office when no one else is around.

My first appointment had been waiting, and my schedule was nonstop all day. There was no time for lunch since I’d agreed to an emergency meeting with a suicidal teen. Some free time opened up when my 3:30 appointment cancelled, so I headed to The Coffee Spot on the corner to get a chai tea latte. The sugar and caffeine would help keep me alert during my session with Jax. I didn’t want to let my guard down. No way did I want to drag him back into the screwed up mess that was my life.

The walk to the corner to get my latte helped wake me up, and I now thought I might be ready to deal with him. Back at the office with ten minutes to spare before Jax’s appointment, I retrived the handful of mail out of my purse and sat to sift through it while I waited. When I got to the envelope with no return address, I had to remind myself to breathe. It was probably just another letter from a patient, but my hands shook as I opened the envelope and pulled out the single sheet of paper. It was a copy of a newspaper article dated a week ago. The words I had hoped never to see were there on the clipping: “Keith Neuhaus released from prison due to improper procedure.”

The paper crumpled in my hand. My mind went blank. My pulse raced. My world began to fade as the blood drained from my head. Sheila’s voice broke through the fog, but it sounded tiny and far away. I sat frozen, unable to move but attempting to breathe regularly. It wasn’t working; I couldn’t draw in enough air. Everything went black.

Jax

Yep, those were my bloodshot eyes that stared back at me in the rearview mirror. Every time I closed my eyes, I relived that night, remembering her screams. It made me nauseous.
Great, is this going to happen every time I see someone who reminds me of Lainie? Maybe Dr. Parker can help me deal with this too, not just the trauma of the bank robbery shooting.
I used some eye drops, but they weren’t doing anything about the bags underneath. At least, the doc released me to drive. Jordan would harp on me if she saw me looking like this again. Back then, it had been six months before I could sleep through the night without a nightmare. Not knowing what happened to her made it even worse.

Once I arrived at the building and parked the car, I started questioning my sanity. Surely Dr. Parker wasn’t
my
Lainie. If she was, why hadn’t she recognized me? When I shut the car door with my right hand, I got a dose of reality and winced as the sudden movement sent pain shooting down my arm.
Shit, that hurt
. Rubbing the offending injury during the elevator ride to the third floor helped.

Before I even reached the desk, the receptionist smiled and acknowledged my arrival.

“Good to see you without the sling, Detective. I’ll let Dr. Parker know you’re here.”

She pushed an intercom button on her desk, and there was a soft, professional tone to her voice. “Dr. Parker…Detective McKenna is here.” When the doctor didn’t reply, she repeated herself, this time with concern in her voice. When she called the doctor a third time my stomach dropped. It didn’t take police training to tell me that something was wrong; I could feel it in my gut. By the time the receptionist stood to enter the office, I was right behind her. What we saw when she opened the door sent chills down my spine and flashbacks through my mind. The doctor sat unmoving, staring straight ahead. She didn’t respond to either of us as she whispered, “No, no, no, no.”

When I reached for her hand, she screamed, and I pulled away. At least, that brought her back from wherever she was. As I touched her hand again, I realized her fist was clenched around a wad of paper. I pried it from her hand and smoothed it out on the table. Rage overtook my effort to calm the situation as I read the article. I placed both hands on the sides of her face and stared into those brown eyes. Now I understood... she was wearing contact lenses. The disguise was good, but this confirmed what my subconscious mind had been trying to tell me—she was Lainie,
my Lainie
.

“Lainie, look at me.”

I knelt down in front of her and took her hands in mine.

“I’ve been looking for you for ten years.”

This seemed to break the spell that the article had cast, and she looked up at me.

“You can’t be here. I can’t be here. I have to disappear again before he finds me.” She began sobbing.

In an effort to calm her and thinking that I knew everything, I replied, “He’s been out for a week. I don’t think a two-bit drug dealer who has been inside for the last ten years will find you.”

I wanted to pull her into my arms and never let go.

“You don’t understand. There were some facts of the case that were never made public because they couldn’t be proven.”

She looked up at me, terrified.

“Keith wasn’t just a dealer; he was the head of the operation. He’s connected and free now and knows that I know. He’ll come for me soon.”

Chapter 5

10 years ago

Lainie

It was my fifth week tutoring Jax. We had been working on all of his classes, not just geometry. I was proud of his grades. They had all improved, and he now carried an A- to B+ average. Seeing his eyes light up when he grasped a new concept in one of his classes had my heart beating faster, and it made me smile inside. I rarely believed that it was possible for me to be completely happy.

I found myself looking forward to our tutoring sessions, wanting to see him. He acted differently when it was just the two of us, not needing to “put on the show” with me like he did with everyone else. When he smiled, it made my day worthwhile.

On Monday, I was anxious to see Jax. I hadn’t had contact with him since Friday because Mrs. Bloom kept me after class to discuss my accounting project that was due the following week. The bell rang signaling the start of the last period of the day. She looked up and saw that I was getting antsy to go.

“Don’t worry Elaine, I’ll write you a pass. Mr. Grant won’t have a problem with you being late for study hall.”

“I’m actually tutoring someone this period. I really need to go.”

“Oh, I’m sorry dear.”

She pulled out her pad of passes from her desk drawer and began filling one out.

“Who are you tutoring?”

My face turned red as I replied, “Just one of the basketball players.” I looked down at my feet trying not to smile at the thought of seeing Jax in a few minutes.

“Here you go. Sorry I kept you so long.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Bloom,” I said as I was already halfway out the door. My feet seemed to fly as I ran down the hall, thankful that I was on the same side of the building as the library. The librarian glared at me as I entered half out of breath.

When I reached the table where Jax was sitting, he was glaring at the shelves along the wall. The chair made a scraping sound as it moved across the tile floor when I tripped over it. He looked up and saw that it was me and smiled in a way that melted my heart.

“Do you like me, Jax?” I asked without thinking. I couldn’t believe I actually brought it up. My cheeks started to burn, and I looked at my feet, afraid of how he’d answer. I sat down and started pulling books out of my backpack.

“Hey, Lainie, look at me,” he said as he pulled my chin up so I was looking at his eyes. “Yeah, so far.”

In that moment, I just knew that my heart was going to beat right out of my chest, and then he took my hand and interlaced our fingers. He pulled his book over and started asking questions as if this were any other day.

After the bell had rung at the end of the period, Jax leaned over and whispered so close to my ear that his lips touched the curls of my hair. “Go out with me Saturday night.”

His breath in my ear sent shivers down my back. I couldn’t think; I could only feel. Being wanted was such a wonderful feeling. I was only able to sit there and grin at him like an idiot, nodding my head yes.

“I’ll pick you up at seven o’clock.” Jax pulled his hand out of mine. If I didn’t know better, I’d think it was the hardest thing he’d ever done. I never wanted this magic moment to end.

“Gotta get to practice,” he said, his voice cracking. His face turned red, and he rushed off towards the gym.

After he had left, I realized what I had done. I accepted a date with the most popular boy in school. So much for being invisible.

Jax

I was riding high on the Semi-State win last Friday night and wanted to share it with Lainie, but she hadn’t arrived yet.
Where was she?
I stared at the shelves of books in front of me as if they contained the answer. Glancing at my watch didn’t help. She had never been late.

Lainie still hadn’t told me why she hid behind that glorious hair and those geeky glasses, and whenever I tried to ask, she’d change the subject. Going to the diner after practice to see her had become part of my after-game ritual, pretending I was there studying so my friends wouldn’t catch on. I loved watching her work, smiling at her customers. They always brightened my days during our tutoring sessions. It was hard to convince her to keep helping me even though my geometry grade had improved, but it was worth the effort. All my grades went up. I studied so she would be proud of me. I’d do anything to spend more time with her.

Glancing at my watch again, I started to get worried because she was in the hall earlier today, so I knew she was at school. Yesterday, I asked her to sit with me at lunch today, but she refused. She mumbled something about needing to be invisible. I don’t get it, and she continued to avoid the subject.

The sound of a chair scooting across the floor caught my attention. I looked up, and there she was. I smiled, breathing easier now and in an instant, her face lit up.

“Do you like me, Jax?” she asked, blushing and immediately looking down at her feet, her hair covering her face. She sat next to me and started pulling books out of her backpack.

I reached over and lifted her chin up so she was looking at me eye to eye and knew I was telling the truth when I answered, “Yeah, so far.” That made her grin the special smile that made my heart stop. I took her hand and laced our fingers together as I opened my book and started asking questions about my assignment. I’d never felt like this before; it was scary… and wonderful.

The bell rang. It was now or never. I leaned over and whispered in her ear. “Go out with me Saturday night.” The smell of her hair made me want to kiss her. I held back, knowing that kissing her in the library was not the right place or the right time.

She sat there and grinned at me, nodding her head yes.
She is so beautiful when she smiles, and those eyes of hers would melt a glacier.

“I’ll pick you up at seven o’clock.” I reluctantly pulled my hand out of hers, “Gotta get to practice,” I said, wincing as my voice cracked like it did when I was a freshman.
How embarrassing.
I rushed off towards the gym. My face was burning.

I got ready for practice, laughing and joking with my friends. Mike came over and grabbed my basketball out of my locker and spun it on his finger.

“Jackson, my man, there’s gonna be a killer keg party out at Chuck’s Saturday night. You gonna be there?”

“Sorry, man, but I’ve got plans. Next time,” I replied as I thought about my date with Lainie. I turned back to my locker to get my shoes.

“What, your date too good for us dumb jocks? You’ve been acting weird for the last month; shoulda known it was because of a girl.”

He tossed the basketball at me and started to walk away but popped off one more insult as he turned to leave. “Pretty bad when a guy chooses a girl over his friends. Thought it was bros before hoes.”

After running drills, Coach had us play some actual basketball. Mike was on the other team, and he was all over me on the court. He was obviously pissed and kept slamming into me. Coach finally noticed and pulled him out of the game.

“Easy there, Mike. We don’t want any injuries before the state finals.”

Mike sat on the bench glaring at me as if I’d stabbed him in the back.

3 days later

Lainie

I was supposed to work until nine o’clock tonight, but Mr. Graham let me leave early so I could go shopping for my Saturday night date with Jax. Sliding hangers along the racks at the Goodwill store calmed my rattled nerves as I tried to find something not too dressy that looked better than my ordinary, baggy clothes. I didn’t want to dip too much into my savings; that’s my “get the hell out of Dodge” fund for college next year. Jax was taking me to the movies so my outfit could be kinda casual, but I still wanted to look nice. I had spotted a perfect denim, knee-length skirt that fit me really well and a blue sweater that matched my eyes on sale, so they found their way into my shopping cart. The sales girl helped me find a brand-new pair of boots that fit and looked great with the skirt.

Next stop was the drugstore for mascara and lip gloss. I never wore makeup, so I didn’t want to go overboard. The excitement and anticipation grew as I headed back to the diner with my purchases. Mr. Graham was letting me keep them there until Saturday so I could change after my shift. It seemed like Saturday was a year away.

When my shift was over, I left the diner lost in thoughts of Jax—how sweet he was and how he made me feel. I wanted to shout it out loud to the whole town that Jackson McKenna and I were going on a date.

About halfway home, after just passing the high school, a car pulled up beside me.

“Hey, baby, want a ride?”

I looked up, and it was a newer Mustang GT. Three of Jax’s teammates leered at me from inside the car. Just what I didn’t need.

“No thanks,” I said as I kept walking, looking straight ahead. Two of them were hanging out the windows on the passenger side of the car ogling me.

“C’mon, honey, let us give you a ride and then you can ‘give us a ride.'”

Ewww. I don’t know how Jax can be friends with these bozos. They are total pigs.

“No, thanks.”

I kept walking with my head down, hoping and praying someone would come along so I wasn’t alone out here.

The car stopped, and I heard the doors open. I was frantic and looking around for somewhere to run. The high school was the only building out this far, and it was locked up tight at this time of night. There was nowhere to hide.

Running was my only option, even though I knew it would be easy for them to catch me. I heard them behind me, and they were gaining on me fast! Even though I never turned to look in their direction, I sensed them behind me, getting closer and closer. One of them caught my arm and pulled me to a stop. I stood there, my chest heaving as I tried to catch my breath. The three of them surrounded me, cutting off all hope of escape. The one holding my arm reached towards my chest with his other hand and grabbed my breast, squeezing hard.

Oh, God! This can’t be happening.
Tears ran down my face. The guy who held me groaned, and I decided I was
not
going to let this happen. I moved a bit closer to him and brought my knee up just like Dad had taught me, getting him hard in the crotch.

“You bitch,” he yelled as his face screwed up in pain.
It worked.
His immediate reaction was to let go of my arm to cup himself with his hands as he doubled over. The other two just stood there and stared at me totally dumbfounded.

Finally, I heard a car coming. I ran towards it, so thankful that they had come along when they did. The car rumbled louder as I got closer and I recognized it. It was hard to miss the custom flames or that it was a souped-up ’67 Camaro. I wished it were anyone but him coming to my rescue.

The car stopped next to us, and the passenger door opened. “Get in, Elaine,” my stepdad ordered.
No one argues with him.

“You boys get on home. I see you sniffin’ around her again, and there will be hell to pay.”

I got in and buckled up, trying to stay as close to the door as possible.

“Do I need to tell your mama about this?”

“No, sir.” I’d learned that pleading my case only pissed him off. He reached over me and locked the passenger door, dragging his hand and arm across my chest. I crossed my arms to cover up, willing myself not to vomit as he licked his lips.