Into the Light (32 page)

“I know. Benjamin was the one who contacted me and asked if I knew why she didn’t show up at the lab.”

No longer content to sit, I paced the confines of the ratty hotel room. “That doesn’t make sense.” I searched for answers. “Was she ill? Have you checked in on her?”

“I went to your apartment. When she didn’t answer, I used my key. She wasn’t there.”

“And you’re sure this doesn’t have anything to do with Brother Timothy or Sister Lilith? God help me!” I wasn’t even trying to hide my distress any longer.

“I really don’t think it does. At least nothing approved by the Commission.”

“Why?”

“Because Benjamin said it wasn’t mentioned during Assembly. He didn’t know until he got to the lab. Then when I couldn’t find her, he took me out to the pole barn.” She muffled a cry. “I prayed, but sh-she wasn’t there. Oh, Brother, I’m so scared.”

My left hand held a fist of hair as I tried to think. “Talk to me, Raquel. Tell me what you’re thinking. Because right now, all I can think is I need to get in the damn plane and confront Timothy and Lilith, the Commission, hell, even Father Gabriel. If Timothy came up with another reason to have her banished, a reason to get at me . . .”

“Brother Jacob, what if
they
didn’t do it? What if it had nothing to do with Brother Timothy?”

Her words reverberated in my head. “What do you mean?”

Raquel took a deep breath. “I should have said something. I just knew she wanted—”

“Tell me!” My desperation sounded foreign, even to my own ears.

“I know Benjamin will punish me when he learns I didn’t say anything.” She swallowed, suddenly sounding more composed. “And he’d be right too. I should have told him, but . . . Sara’s my friend. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to get her in trouble with you or the Commission and because I understand her desire for children.”

I couldn’t make sense of her words. “What are you saying?” My voice echoed against the dingy white walls.

“A little over a week ago, she and I were talking. She told me that the two of you were discussing children.”

I nodded. “We were. She said she wanted one, but I’m not ready, not with my new responsibilities.”
Among other things that I can’t explain.
“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Sara said she hoped you’d change your mind if she became pregnant.” Raquel paused. “She confided in me that she stopped taking her birth control. She didn’t tell you . . .”

Her words trailed away as I doubled over, holding my stomach.

I was going to fucking throw up.

“When? How long ago?” My questions were barely audible over the mayhem in my head.

She’d stopped taking her birth control. It wasn’t just birth control. It was the drug that specifically suppressed her episodic memory while allowing new memories to form. It was the unique creation of The Light and the foundation of why she believed she was Sara while having no recollection of being Stella Montgomery.

“Over three weeks now.”

My heart fell to my feet and tears blurred my vision. “Oh, God, do you think? Did she say anything to make you think she remembered?” I couldn’t even say it: I couldn’t say
her life before me, before us
.

I hadn’t wanted a wife. I’d avoided it, but from the first time I saw her, before she was brought to the Northern Light, before Abraham and Newton hurt her, before I lied to her, I fell in love with her. I fought it with all my might. That day in the cold, her injuries were supposed to be worse, but I couldn’t let him keep going. I had to stop him. And then when I arrived at the hospital and her neck was bruised, I knew that Newton had hurt her more, and I refused to leave her again. I couldn’t.

Raquel was speaking. “. . . didn’t, not that I picked up on at the time. Now I’m not sure. And there’s one other thing.”

I nodded, trying to quiet the voices in my head, trying to still the chaos. “What?”

“When we went to the hangar this afternoon, Brother Micah said that Xavier’s replacement, Thomas, had recently left.”

“What are you saying?”

“Well, he’s been in the community, unlike Xavier. I’ve seen him a few times.”

I couldn’t speak. Sara wouldn’t risk punishment by speaking to a man she didn’t know. She surely wouldn’t leave the community with a man. My head moved dismissively from side to side. No, she wouldn’t do that. She was just talking about children, about wanting us to be a family.

God, I was really going to be sick.

Sara had said she loved me. That was the last thing I’d heard her say. “Raquel, are you saying Thomas may have taken my wife?”

“Technically, yes, but I’m wondering if it wasn’t an abduction.” Silence filled the room. Finally she continued, “Brother Jacob, I’m afraid Sara may have gotten her memory back, or at least some of it, enough to confirm that she wasn’t Sara. Benjamin and I haven’t said anything to anyone. We know what Sara’s leaving will do to you with the Commission. They’ve already met today. Tomorrow Benjamin said he’d have to say something if Sara wasn’t back. But when he does, Benjamin said he’d remind the Commission that you requested permission to take her.

“Do you think you can find her and bring her back?” Hope came back to her voice. “If you do, you can tell everyone that you took her. They won’t know she left.”

“Find her . . . ?”

My entire fucking world was gone, exploded, imploded. Years of work and sacrifice threatened, hell, most likely ruined. And while that should have been my focus, it wasn’t, not really. All I could think about was Sara. If she’d remembered, if she’d figured it out, then she undoubtedly thought I was responsible and knew I’d lied—that we’d all lied. “Raquel, if she remembers . . . she won’t want to see me.”

“I remember.”

I didn’t know what to say.

“I’ve known for a long time,” she continued. “When my memories returned, Benjamin told me the truth and I chose to stay. That’s what I was praying would happen with Sara. Brother Jacob, Sara loves you.”

“Sara, Raquel.
Sara
loves me. If you’re right, if she remembers, then I’m not looking for Sara. I need to find Stella, and I suspect Stella hates me.”

“Think about it. I remember the Eastern Light. What will happen if The Light finds her first?”

A cold chill ran through my body. “If you remember, then you know what will happen.”

Raquel cleared her throat. “Brother Jacob, I’m completely out of line and I’ll pray about it, I will. If you choose to tell Benjamin, I won’t deny it, and I’ll accept whatever punishment he deems necessary. But I’m breaking the rules by asking you to question everything, no, I’m begging you . . . please, go to Detroit and bring Sara home.”

“How?” I asked. “How did you know she’s from Detroit?”

“Because that’s where I came from—the Eastern Light. Isn’t that where we all come from?”

I took a deep breath. “If I make it back to Northern Light with Sara, we never had this conversation. If I don’t, we never did. No matter what, it
never
occurred. You know what would happen if the Commission learned that you withheld information from them.”

“I can’t lie to Benjamin. I trust him.”

I nodded. “That’s between you and your husband. I’ll pray too. Destroy the phone you used. I hope we see you again.”

“Me too. Godspeed, Brother Jacob.”

The line went dead, and seconds later the phone that I’d been holding in a death grip struck the wall and, leaving a dent in the plaster, shattered to pieces. Picking up the largest piece, I pulled out the battery and the small SIM card. Then I dropped the remaining parts and, using the heel of my boot, smashed them to bits. With each stomp I contemplated my next move.

I was so fucking close to finishing this, to reaching the end. Three long years. But . . . now . . .

I knew without a doubt where she’d try to go, whom she’d try to reach.

Nearly a year ago when I’d seen her in Dearborn outside Detroit, she’d been with
him
. She had been so happy, smiling and holding his hand. They had been walking through a sidewalk festival and laughing. I remembered the look I’d seen in her eyes. It took months before I saw a smile even close to the one she’d given to him. She’d trusted him.

Fuck!

Even if I did reach her before The Light found her, she wouldn’t trust me. If The Light got to her first, there wouldn’t be a question of what they’d do. My question was about Dylan Richards.

What would he do? Would he do it again? Would he do what he’d done last October? If she contacted him first, would he willingly hand over his girlfriend in exchange for his pathetic existence? Would he once again deliver Sara to The Light?

Once a dirty cop, always a dirty cop.

I knew that.

What I didn’t know anymore was what kind I was.

Taking a deep breath, I recalled the number I’d memorized and stored away. I steadied my hand as I fired up the other burner phone and dialed. Running my fingers through my hair, I listened to the rings.

Special Agent Adler, my handler, answered on the fifth one. “Agent McAlister?”

“Yes, sir,” I answered through gritted teeth.

“Fuck! We haven’t heard from you in over two years. Tell me you’re calling because you’ve got the evidence. Tell me to get the bureau ready, that you’re ready for the raid. Tell me you’ve got what we need to bring Gabriel Clark down.”

“Special Agent, we have a problem.”

UNTIL . . .

Away from the Dark

Book Two of The Light series

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Thank you to everyone who believed in me: to my husband, children, parents, and friends. Without your support and love I would never have brought this new story to life. Thank you also to my readers. You have turned my world upside down and I will be forever grateful.

Thank you to my agent, Danielle. Your faith in my work has given me the courage to enter new challenging arenas. I would never have taken this leap if it were not for you.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Photo © 2015 Erin Hession Photography

Aleatha Romig is a
New York Times
and
USA Today
bestselling author whose work includes the twisty, darkly romantic series Consequences (which has graced more than half a million e-readers), Tales from the Dark Side, and Infidelity. Aleatha was born, raised, and educated in Indiana, where she reared three children of her own. She lives with her husband just south of Indianapolis.