Into the Fire (10 page)

That stopped her up cold.

“Do you want me to take you to your mom and dad’s?”

The answer that came back immediately was a definite, “No”.

“Well, why don’t you come with me to the hospital? You can check in on him there. I know he wants to see you.”

“How do you know that?” She looked up and saw Kendra’s gaze soften.

“Because the first thing he said to me was to tell you he was all right. To tell me you would freak out but to reassure you that it was all okay. He’s in love with you, Ally.”

Love. Just yesterday afternoon she’d realized she was in love with him. It was nearly too much to take in and make sense of. The way he’d stood up for her, the way she’d felt when they’d made love, the fear and dread running through her body right now. “I can’t go. I don’t know…I’m a mess, Kendra.”

Kendra smiled. “I know how you feel. It wasn’t all smooth sailing for Jake and me either. But it’s worth it, Ally. Chris is a good man. He’s the kind of man a woman can count on, and he’s head over heels for you. Again, from what I understand.”

Ally nodded. The whole town had been shocked when Kendra and Jake Symonds had come out as a couple. But seeing them together, they made perfect sense. It was clear they adored each other. Whatever issues they’d had, they’d apparently worked through. But Jake had been in the military and he understood risk, didn’t he? Maybe having a girlfriend who was a cop didn’t scare him the way Chris’s chosen vocation bothered her. Volunteer or not, the risks were the same. It was a broken arm today, but how close had it been to being something else?

“You should at least go see him. It’d put his mind at ease before he goes into surgery.”

Kendra was right. She couldn’t really
not
go. Maybe they hadn’t come right out and said the words, but like it or not, they were involved. It would be selfish and cold to stay away now. They could sort through everything else later.

“I’ll get my coat,” she said. “And I have to let out Moose and feed him.”

She let out the dog and made sure he had his breakfast and a full water bowl before shutting the door to the mud room. Chris wouldn’t be out of the hospital today, so she’d have to come back later and look after the dog. He was so shy she knew she couldn’t kennel him away somewhere. While Chris was in hospital, Moose was her responsibility.

Then she got in the police car with Kendra and made the drive into Kentville to the hospital.

Chris was still in emergency waiting for surgery when they arrived. A nurse showed them through and Ally took regular, measured breaths to stay calm. She hated the smell of hospitals—sickness and antiseptic. Kendra stayed by her side; whether it was being a friend or making sure she kept her word, Ally wasn’t certain. But she was glad to have someone with her. The nurse took them to a curtained area and let them in.

Ally stifled a gasp. Chris looked terrible. His arm was beneath the sheet and she was glad. She didn’t want to see it if it was mangled. His left cheekbone sported a bruise that was already turning purple, and the stubble on his chin looked even darker than normal against the pale pallor of his skin.

He opened his eyes and turned his head slowly as they stepped inside the curtain.

“Hey, you.” He smiled faintly. “I’d hold out my hand, but I don’t seem to have any use of that right now.”

“Hey, yourself. You scared the crap out of me, sending Kendra to the house.”

“Sorry about that. I thought it would be better than the phone. Besides, you didn’t have wheels and I wanted to see you.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Loopy. They gave me something for the pain. It’ll be better after surgery, they said.”

She perched on the edge of a chair next to the bed. “Kendra says you’re going in this morning.”

“Yeah. Broke my ulna and radius. They’re going to put some titanium in there and fix me right up.”

“I’m gonna go,” Kendra said from behind them. “Unless you need anything?”

“I’ve got all I need,” Chris replied, making something uncomfortable swirl through Ally. He sounded so sure, so confident. And she felt anything but.

“I’m fine,” Ally said. “Thanks for coming to get me.”

“Any time. Take care, Chris.”

She slipped out of the curtained area, and suddenly Ally was awash with emotion now that they were alone. All the fear she’d felt going to the door when Kendra knocked came rushing back. She had really thought she’d lost him. And it had felt like someone had ripped her heart right out of her chest.

“You scared the hell out of me,” she whispered.

“I’m sorry. But I’m fine, really. I’ll be good as new in no time.”

“You might have been
killed
.”

Chris’s jaw tightened. “But I wasn’t. Please don’t freak out on me right now, Ally. Not when I’m too doped up to say what I really mean. How’s Moose?”

“I let him out and fed him before I left. I’ll go back later and take him for a good romp. Don’t worry about Moose.”

“Thanks.”

There was silence.

“Chris, I…”

“Ally…” They spoke at once and Ally sat back, thrown off balance once again. Less than twenty-four hours ago things had been so easy between them. But Ally had had time to think while he had been gone. Think and worry, huddled beneath a blanket, waiting for him to come home, wondering what was happening at the fire scene. She had been going to say she wasn’t sure she could do this. But the rough way he said her name brought her up short. Now wasn’t the time. They both had to step back, didn’t they? Think it through rather than just reacting to a high-emotion event.

But Chris apparently didn’t get that memo because his eyes were wide and sincere as he looked at her. “Ally,” he repeated, stronger now. “I need to tell you something.”

Her throat tightened but she nodded.

“This past summer I responded to an accident call. Do you remember it? The one with the girl who’d hydroplaned and was killed?”

She did remember it. It had been so sad. A young girl, a student at the university, out during a flash thunderstorm. It had been big news in the area.

“She was so young,” Chris said. “Her whole life ahead of her and then cut short, just like that. We always say that you shouldn’t put things off because you just never know, but that day it really hit home. I should have said something to you yesterday. It was in my heart and in my head and I didn’t say it.”

“It’s okay, Chris, please…” She didn’t want him to say it. Not now, not when things were so confused and mixed up in her head.

“I love you, Ally. I’m not sure I ever stopped. I can see that you’re panicking right now and it scares me to death. But it doesn’t change the fact that I love you. Yesterday was the most amazing day of my life. I should have told you but I didn’t. So I’m telling you now. I don’t expect you to say it back, but I love you.”

Tears sprang to her eyes. “That’s not fair.”

“I know it’s not. I just don’t want to tap dance around our feelings. And when I’m out of here we’re going to talk about it all. Properly. I’m giving you fair warning.”

Ally’s stomach quaked as she tried to come up with something to say. She knew what it was to lose someone close to her. She never wanted to go through that again, and tonight had shown her exactly how harrowing it could be. She’d never forget the cold feeling that had seized her heart when she’d realized that it was a police car coming up the driveway. If she and Chris kept on, it might not be the only time it happened. And next time it might not be as simple as a broken arm.

A nurse poked her head through the curtain. “We’re going to get you prepped for surgery now, Mr. Jackson.”

“I should go,” Ally said, standing up.

“How will you get home? Do you need my truck? It’s at the fire hall…”

“I’ll call my dad. You take care, Chris.”

“I’ll be out of here before you know it,” he replied, fixing her with a firm stare. “And then we’re going to have that talk.”

“Okay.” What else could she say?

The nurse stepped inside the curtain and Chris grinned. “Well, looks like it’s time for a nap.” He lifted his right hand. “Come give me a kiss for luck, Ally.”

She couldn’t refuse him. Even battered and bruised, he was the sexiest man she’d ever known, and he was in love with her. And she was in love with him. There was no ignoring that fact no matter what was going on inside her head. She leaned over and touched her lips to his, softly, sweetly, a little longer than she expected and his right arm curled around her neck just a bit.

The nurse cleared her throat.

Ally stepped back. “I’ll see you soon,” she said, her voice quivering with nerves and emotion.

“Count on it,” he said, giving her a wink as they wheeled him away.

Chapter Six

Her father was being rather quiet on the drive, considering he had to know she’d been at Chris’s all night and then found out about Chris’s accident. Ally shifted in the passenger seat, listening to the radio on the short drive out of Kentville and back home.

The local news came on, including a brief bit about the fire and that firefighter Chris Jackson had been taken to hospital with minor injuries. She supposed in the big scale of things, a broken arm was minor. But even a minor injury was going to sideline him for weeks. And there was no escaping the fact that he’d had a close call.

She couldn’t stand the silent treatment any longer. The last words they’d spoken had been at the tea yesterday, and that didn’t sit well. Even if she’d been hurt, she didn’t like how they’d left things. And for all his stoic ways, her father had always been easier to talk to than her mother.

“It’s very hard to tell what you’re thinking,” she said quietly, reaching over and turning down the radio.

“Not much to say,” he answered. “Except that I’m sorry.”

It wasn’t what she expected.

“For what?”

He looked over at her briefly before turning his attention to the road again. “For a lot of things.” He cleared his throat. “We’ve never really talked about it, you and me. About your sister.”

The little hole of emptiness opened up in her again, the way it always did when she thought of Rebecca. “It was easier not to.”

“It was wrong. Your mother—she’s never gotten over it. She worries and frets that something terrible is going to happen, you know?”

“And you?”

He was silent for a moment. “We were unfair to you, Ally. We put all our hopes for Becca on you, and that wasn’t fair. You were all we had left. We wanted everything for you and we pushed, rather than accepting you for who you are.”

Ally was stunned. She’d always felt like she was in Becca’s shadow, even after Becca was gone. Becca had been the straight-A student. She’d been the overachiever. It had been difficult enough when she was living, harder when she was gone. She missed her sister and at the same time her parents had made everything feel closed in. She’d understood it, and she wasn’t angry about it. It was part of the reason she’d never rebelled, never argued back.

Life had never been the same after Becca was gone. It was just a relief now to get it out in the open.

“Dad,” she said softly, feeling closer to him than she ever had before.

“Chris was right yesterday. What it took for you to open the shelter in the first place, that was real entrepreneurship without the financial reward. You’re capable of far more than we gave you credit for. Far more than you realize yourself. You’ve got a good heart, Ally. Your mother and I should have been prouder, more supportive.”

“You were right too,” she admitted. “I need to stop hiding behind things. The shelter was the one thing I believed in, but it also meant I didn’t truly have to get out there on my own. You guys were my safety net. It’s time for me to grow up.”

“If you want to start the shelter again, I’ll help you.” He pulled in to a strip mall and parked the car in front of Cora’s restaurant.

She turned in the seat and stared at him. “You mean that?”

He nodded.

The vote of confidence meant so much to her. “I’ll think about it. I’m looking at a lot of possibilities, Dad.”

“And there’s Chris to consider.”

She looked away. “That’s up in the air too…”

Her dad killed the engine and silence enveloped the car. After a moment, he cleared his throat. “After yesterday—”

“Nothing’s decided,” she said.

There was another awkward silence.

“Ally, when you and Chris broke off the engagement…you know your mother and I were disappointed. Chris is a good man. I know you had your reasons for breaking it off. And you were both so young. But now…what’s holding you back?”

Her fingers trembled and she clasped them together in her lap. “Dad, I just came from the hospital. He loves what he does, so how could I ask him to quit? I’m scared. When he was gone last night, I couldn’t sleep. And when Constable Givens came to the door…” She shuddered. “I’m not sure I’m up to that. Not after Becca. Because I love him. And I don’t ever want to get that knock on the door. I don’t know how I’d survive it.”

“Oh, sweetie.”

“So that’s it. I’m a big coward and I know it. Truthfully, I’ve been looking at my options, and more and more it seems like going away might be the best plan. I’ve been looking into the vet-tech course at the college.”