Into the Darkness (16 page)

“Okay.”

“Just okay?”

“These days, being just okay is terrific.”

“That’s not so good.” He paused and thought a moment. “Many times I . . .”

“Shayne,” I corrected again.

“Shayne often wondered what it would be like to be with you, to talk to you alone like this without an audience.”

“But Shayne was afraid, you said.”

“He told you. He isn’t used to being rejected.”

“No one can get used to that. So, tell me the truth now. What changed Shayne’s mind? And don’t start singing ‘Some Enchanted Evening.’ They might ask us to leave the diner before I get my pie.”

“Maybe not. Shayne’s been told he has a pretty good voice. Mr. Jacobs has been trying to get him into the senior chorus ever since he was in ninth grade.”

“But Shayne wouldn’t do it. He might not stand out enough, is that it?”

He smiled and shook his head.

The waitress brought my pie and coffee and a coffee for him. “Burger will be up in a minute,” she said.

“Shayne’s not in a rush,” he told her. She looked at him strangely, looked at me, shrugged, and returned to the counter. “Shayne doesn’t know if he can keep this up.”

“Shayne can,” I insisted. “Don’t you know? Shayne Allan can do anything.”

He sighed.

“So? What’s the truth about tonight?” I asked. “Why did you finally overcome your great fear of me? Tell the truth, for a change.”

He thought a moment. “Maybe this third-person thing does make it easier.” He straightened up. “Shayne kept an eye on you most of last year. He noticed you weren’t interested in any other boy. No one seemed to get to first base, or if he had, he was tagged before he reached second.”

“Is everything Shayne thinks of analogous to a sport?”

He shrugged. “Shayne’s an outstanding athlete.”

“He’s also an outstanding scholar. He should reach higher sometimes.”

“Okay, okay. You sound like Shayne’s mother.”

The waitress brought his burger and fries. “Shayne says thanks,” he told her.

“That’s nice. I hope Shayne pays,” she said, and we all laughed.

I let him start to eat, sipped my coffee, and ate some pie. “So?” I said.

“So, Shayne didn’t feel pressured. He was taking his own precious time, waiting for the right moment, hoping for some sign from Amber that would encourage him, but Amber was too stuck on herself.”

“She was not!”

“Shayne thought so. Then he heard tonight that she had met a new boy, a good-looking new boy.”

“Aha!” I cried. “You were pushed in my direction. I’ll kill that Ellie and Charlotte.”

“They meant well. For Shayne, that is.”

“So, Shayne admits that he was pushed in my direction.”

“Not pushed, encouraged. Then he thought about it and decided that just maybe he was being stupid and would lose his chance, so he decided to swallow his pride and . . .”

“He admits that his pride was always in the way?”

He paused and nodded. “Maybe. No. Yes.”

He ate more of his burger. We stared at each other for a few moments, like two chess players waiting for each other to make a bad move. I ate more pie, drank more coffee, and sat back.

“I think Shayne’s making a little progress,” I said.

“Is there really a new boy in town?” he asked. “Shayne hasn’t heard.”

“What is this? Is Shayne a gunslinger worried that someone faster on the draw has come to Echo Lake? You sound like you’re in the movie
Shane
.”

He laughed, and then he looked serious. “Yes, when it comes to Amber Taylor, Shayne is worried about someone being faster on the draw,” he said. “Maybe we should talk about what Amber likes and doesn’t like. Is the new boy someone she could like?”

“Why don’t we just talk about Shayne for now?” I said. “We have to work on his rehabilitation and see if he’s a lost cause or not.”

“Thanks a lot.”

“Besides, doesn’t Shayne know anything about romancing a girl? The same is true for a girl romancing a boy. What she doesn’t talk about or want to hear about is another girl, and a boy should feel the same way hearing about another boy.”

He nodded. “Shayne understands. Okay. I think he might like his rehabilitation. As long as it doesn’t take that long, that is.”

“How long it takes is up to Shayne,” I said.

He smiled softly, lovingly, at me. Now that I was sitting right across from him and really looking at him, he didn’t seem at all intimidating. In fact, he looked like a little boy, excited and happy.

“How come Shayne’s never gone with one girl for very long?” I asked.

“Different reasons. No one reason fits everyone.”

“Maybe Shayne can’t make a commitment. Maybe he’s always worried that there’s someone better looming on the horizon.”

“Maybe. Maybe you’re the one looming.”

I smiled and ate some more pie to keep myself from blushing. During the last twenty-four hours, I had been with two very good-looking boys. One had stirred me as I had never been stirred, but the one I was with now held out the promise of a full relationship, no baggage to worry about, no formidable emotional and psychological problems to overcome. Suddenly, my quiet, uneventful life was filled with very dramatic and exciting choices.

I finished my pie, and he finished his burger. Then he slapped his chest.

“Me Shayne. You Amber,” he said, imitating Tarzan. I laughed. Someone put on the jukebox, and Tony Bennett singing “I Left My Heart in San Francisco” came on.

“Shane’s parents love this song.”

“I think mine do, too.”

“Whatever happened to romance?” Shayne asked, obviously now imitating his father.

“Why do these kids wear rings in their noses and dye their hair orange and purple?” I followed.

“When they’re older like us, what will be their musical memories? You can’t understand half of what they listen to, and they can’t, either. It’s just noise.”

“They’re all in their own movie.”

“Right,” he said. “Exactly. Why don’t you and Shayne go somewhere where you can really talk about this and come up with a solution?”

“Talk?”

“Whatever’s necessary.”

“Right. That’s what I thought. It’s getting late.”

“Shayne has no curfew.”

“Amber does, and Shayne shouldn’t be thinking only of what’s good for Shayne,” I said sternly.

“Got it,” he said, saluting, and signaling for the check.

After he paid and we rose to leave, I glanced out the diner window and froze for a moment. I thought I saw Brayden standing just on the outer edge of the parking lot. He looked very unhappy. Could he really have followed us from Charlotte’s party?

“Something wrong?” Shayne asked.

“What? No,” I said, looking out again and this time not seeing him. I hurried to catch up, and when we stepped out, I looked around again, but I didn’t see him. I concluded that I was just tired and my imagination was running rampant.

“Supposed to be nice tomorrow,” Shayne said. “Shayne can get his dad’s motorboat if Amber would like to picnic on the lake.”

“Who else is coming?”

“No one else. Why, do you need a chaperone or something?”

“No. I just thought Shayne would have one or two of his shadows.”

“Not this time. So?” he asked. “What do you think? Take a chance with Shayne?”

I thought about Brayden. I was still upset about the way he had deserted me in the woods, and from the way he was acting and what he had said, I didn’t see us doing much more than taking a walk. He resisted my invitation
to show him around or even meet my parents. He hadn’t invited me into his house to meet his mother. Right now, I had to admit that I was a little afraid of meeting her. Maybe if he saw that I was starting to see Shayne, he would be more willing to do more things, meet other kids, go to a movie, something. Perhaps I was being mean, or maybe this was just what he needed.

Anyway, it felt good to have two very good-looking boys vying for my attention.

“Okay,” I said. “What time?”

“Shayne will come by about eleven.”

“What do I need to bring?”

“Just yourself. Shayne will pick up some subs and stuff before he comes for you.”

On our way to my house, we talked about what we hoped for our senior year and what we thought we might do afterward. Shayne had already won a number of scholarships, two of which were athletic. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to study, so I was content for now to plan for a liberal arts education, at least for the first two years.

“Sounds like the Taylor family jewelry store might come to an end, then.”

“Maybe. Maybe I’ll marry someone who wants to be in business, and we’ll come back here to live.”

“Here? Don’t you dream of getting away?”

“No. I mean, I want to travel and see things, but I have a suspicion that I might not be happier somewhere else.”

Shayne shook his head. “Shayne knows he’ll be happier somewhere else.”

“Shayne should read his Thoreau again, and more of him,” I said. As soon as I said it, I felt as if Brayden was
sitting right behind me. I even turned around to look, which was ridiculous. Shayne didn’t notice.

“Right. ‘Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.’ Sounds great until you want to buy new shoes.”

“Shayne misses the point,” I said.

“Shayne wants to miss that point,” he replied.

It was really the only discordant note between us so far. He laughed, and I let it pass.

After we pulled into my driveway, he reached for my hand.

“May Shayne kiss Amber good night?” He smiled. “Ordinarily, Shayne would just do it without asking.”

“Well, then, there’s hope for Shayne yet,” I said, and kissed him before he could kiss me.

The surprise on his face made me laugh. “Can Shayne leave the third person behind tomorrow? It’s getting a little crowded.”

I pretended to debate with myself about it a moment and then nodded. “But it might be necessary to resurrect him again, so keep him handy.”

“Right. Good night.”

“Night,” I said, and got out of the car. He watched me walk to my front door and then backed out slowly, pausing to look back at me. I waved, and he drove off.

Just as I reached for the front door, I heard, “And so the beautiful butterfly was born.”

I turned sharply to my right and saw him standing there in the corner of the front porch. How could I not have seen him when I first started for the house? What did he do, float over the railing? Or was he just waiting for me in the shadows, waiting most of the night?

“Once again, you succeeded in frightening me.”

“Sorry. Where were you?”

“I told you about the party. I asked you to go. Afterward, I went to the Echo Lake diner with Shayne Allan. He’s on course to be valedictorian, and he’s one of our top athletes.”

He dropped into the wooden rocker. “So, it looks like it was better for you that I didn’t go. Was it fun?”

For a moment, I felt terrible rubbing Shayne in his face. Probably, if Brayden was at one school long enough, he might be a candidate for valedictorian, not that it was the criterion I set down for a boyfriend. It was just that I thought, even from the limited time I had spent with him, that he was capable of doing great things, too. It wasn’t fair to him to move him around like furniture.

Then I remembered why I was upset with him.

“Forget the party. Where were you? What happened to you? How could you just leave me sleeping out there in the woods?”

“I had to go, and I didn’t want to wake you. It wasn’t like I left you in a lair of poisonous snakes. You were pretty safe.”

“Well, why did you just leave?”

“I had to get back for my mother,” he said.

“Did something happen?”

“Yes, something happened. It’s still happening,” he said in that cryptic tone of voice I was getting used to.

“What?”

“I told you. She’s not well.”

“But why? I mean, she must have been well once, right?” I asked, stepping up to him.

“It’s complicated,” he said. “Tell me about your party. You look very nice, by the way.”

“Thanks. It’s probably still going on, and I’m sure Charlotte’s parents will be pretty upset about it when they find out. There were fireworks. I thought that was reckless. It’s pretty dry out there. Lots of booze and stuff like X. You know what that is, I’m sure.”

“Yes, I know. So, it was getting out of hand?”

“I wasn’t eager to hang around to find out.” I leaned against the railing and looked at him. “I thought I saw you there.”

“Saw me?” He smiled. “And how could that be?”

“I’m sure you could have found her house. You seem to be able to find anything around here.”

He laughed. “So, this Shayne Allan was your knight in shining armor who came to your rescue?” he asked, nodding toward the driveway.

“Yes. His parents have a place on the lake. I agreed to go for a picnic tomorrow. He has a boat. Or, rather, his father has a boat.”

He nodded. Then he stood up and looked at his house. I turned and could see that the attic light was still on.

“Isn’t your father coming home soon? You shouldn’t have all of the burden on your shoulders.”

“Soon,” he said, walking slowly to the steps. “Have a good time on the lake. Maybe you can show him the place I showed you.”

I nodded. He didn’t sound upset. I was hoping to hear at least a note of jealousy. I guess if I had to characterize how he sounded, I would say resigned, like
someone who knew that he couldn’t compete. I attributed that to his responsibilities at home.

I felt a great sadness come over me. I wanted to reach out to him, to tell him that I might change my mind and not go with Shayne if he wanted me to spend the day with him, maybe help him with his mother in some way, but he just smiled and walked away.

“I’ll see you tomorrow afterward, maybe,” I called.

“Oh, sure,” he said. “You’ll see me. Don’t worry about that.”

He walked into the shadows and toward his house. I watched for a moment and then entered mine. I was filled with so many different feelings and emotions that I couldn’t see myself falling asleep for hours. Both of my parents were upstairs, but Mom called to me from her bedroom. I knew that just like any other time I was out, she would keep one ear listening for my footsteps on the stairway.