Intimate Deception (22 page)

“I’m sorry, Grace. But I’m afraid they already know the reason for your precipitous marriage. It’s best if they believe your uncontrollable attraction for each other was mutual.”

Grace breathed a heavy sigh. The weight that pressed painfully against her breast nearly choked her.

“You need to rest, Grace. Raeborn will be extremely upset if you get too tired. He wanted to come up himself to check on you but I told him he’d already done enough and I’d see to you now.”

“Oh, Linny!”

“I know. But I still thought he’d…Well, I’ll have to apologize for that too.”

“He’s just concerned, Linny. It’s as if everything I do is a reminder of something that happened before. He knows more about childbearing than I do.”

Caroline smiled. “It’ll be all right, Grace. You just rest now and I’ll send a maid up to help you change. Try to sleep. I’ll wake you in plenty of time for dinner.”

I
t was nearly time for the ceremony to begin. “Are you ready, Grace?”

Grace turned from the bedroom window and faced her six sisters. Each wore a dubious expression. Expectant. Confused. She realized it probably wasn’t the first time she’d been asked that question, but she had been so lost in thought she’d missed hearing it. The smile she put on her face felt strangely out of place and insincere.

“Of course.” She tried to keep her voice light, but from the serious look on Caroline’s face, she hadn’t done a very good job.

“Then we’d best hurry,” her sister Josie said, ushering everyone toward the door. “If your groom is like every other groom in history, he’s a nervous wreck down there and anxious to get this over with.”

Her sisters all laughed and started talking about their own weddings as they made their way to leave.

Grace couldn’t let them go without saying something to them, without at least acknowledging that, even though no one had been forward enough to openly discuss it, they all knew the reason for her rushed wedding. She wanted to apologize for the comments she knew they would all hear when her baby was born early.

“Wait.”

In unison they turned, then stepped back into the room. Josie closed the door behind them.

Grace wasn’t sure what she wanted to say. She stood there several long seconds before she could talk. “I know my marriage has come as a surprise, to say the least. Maybe I even shocked or disappointed some of you.”

She held out her hand when all her sisters rushed to assure her she hadn’t disappointed them.

“I don’t blame you. It isn’t how I would have preferred to start my married life. It’s not how Raeborn preferred we start it either. But…” She struggled to keep the smile on her face. “I can’t undo what’s already done.”

“It’s all right, Grace,” Mary, the most serious and tender-hearted of her sisters, said. “We know how much you sacrificed for us. How many years you ignored what you wanted so each of us could make perfect matches. You’re just making up for some of the time you lost.”

“That’s right,” Francine said, rushing over to give Grace a hug. “Don’t give society’s tongues a thought. By the time your babe is born, the whole of England will be so happy for you and Raeborn they won’t think to count months.”

“I just don’t want you to think badly of Raeborn. What happened…” Grace clutched her hands into fists at her sides and willed herself to continue. “What happened was not his fault. He…wasn’t to blame.”

“We know how it is,” Sarah said, two dark circles deepening on her cheeks. “All of London saw how the two of you looked at each other. It’s obvious how much in love the two of you are.”

“Yes,” her sisters all chimed in, and their vote of confidence was almost her undoing.

“I love you,” Grace said, her voice shaky and her eyes brimming with tears. “All of you.”

En masse, her sisters rushed over to surround her. Each gave her a tight squeeze, careful not to muss her wedding dress.

“I think we’d best go downstairs now,” Sarah said, wiping a tear from her own and one from Grace’s cheek. “His Grace looked a little uncomfortable the last time I checked on him.”

Grace’s stomach churned. Of course Raeborn was uncomfortable. How else did she expect him to feel? Being here, marrying again, was the last thing he wanted to do. She knew he had to feel as if there were a gun pointed to his head. Her deception had given him no choice but to marry again even though he’d vowed not to. If not for the baby…

Grace brought her hand up to cover her stomach where a new life grew. Her breath caught.

“Are you all right, Grace?” Caroline asked.

“Yes. I’m fine. Let’s go down.”

They all moved to the door, only Caroline holding back to give Grace’s hand a gentle squeeze. “Everything will be fine, Grace.”

“Will it?” Grace asked when everyone had quit the room and she and Caroline were alone.

“Of course. It’s just your nerves rushing in to give you doubts.”

“He doesn’t want to get married. To protect himself, he’s built a great wall around his heart. I’m not sure I know how to breach it.”

“You breach it the only way a woman can. With your heart. With your love.”

“And if he doesn’t want my love?”

Caroline smiled. “How can he not? Raeborn more than anyone has been starved for love—both the giving and the receiving of it—longer than any human should have to. He’ll accept your love in time. He’ll revel in it.”

“I wish I were as confident as you,” Grace said on a sigh.

“Just remember,” Caroline continued. “The roles the two of you played until now were not real. You were acting out a charade, trying to fool everyone into believing you were enamored of each other. The charade must stop today. It cannot continue into your marriage bed.”

Grace felt her cheeks redden. Caroline didn’t give her a chance to feel embarrassed. She grasped her by the upper arms and looked her in the eyes.

“There can be no pretending in a marriage, Grace. The passion you share in private must be real. It will be the basis for your lives together. Lay the groundwork for your marriage quickly and solidly. Give Raeborn no reason to doubt your feelings for him or your resolve to make your marriage work. And don’t be afraid to give him your heart. Now,” she said, giving Grace one last hug, “we’d best go down before everyone returns for us.”

Grace wore a smile as she and Caroline went down the stairs. When they reached the door to the room where she would say her vows, her footsteps faltered. As did her courage. Her heart thudded in her breast while a little voice inside her head pounded out the words,
If not for the baby…

Grace took a deep breath and stepped into the room. Her eyes scanned the small group, her gaze focusing on the other side where the men were gathered.

Raeborn stood in the center next to the fireplace, his elbow propped against the mantle in a seemingly relaxed pose. She knew he wasn’t. Knew today he was forcing himself to pretend composure and happiness more than ever before. She saw beneath the facade.

His expression was granite hard, his features chiseled. He was conversing with Caroline’s husband, the Marquess of Wedgewood, and Josie’s husband, Viscount Carmody. Even though a smile crossed his face, she saw it did not reach his eyes. Then he looked up and saw her.

His words stopped midsentence. The drink he was lifting to his lips froze midway to his mouth, and he stood for a moment in stoic silence, then placed the glass on the corner of a table nearby and walked toward her. But…

He remembered to smile a second too late.

Grace took a deep breath and forced herself to stay steady on her feet. Every instinct for survival told her to run. Every muscle stretched taut in readiness to flee. Suddenly it was too late. He was there, standing just inches in front of her.

He towered above her, exuding that overpowering dominance she’d come to associate with his presence. She’d give anything to know his thoughts. Anything to see something other than the regal detachment she’d glimpsed occasionally when they were alone. Anything to recognize even the most minute degree of emotion. But she saw nothing. Only a widening of the gap between them.

Exhibiting a show of perfect decorum, he took her hands in his and held them.

A spiraling rush of molten heat surged from her fingertips to even the remotest parts of her body. Her heart pounded in her breast, and deep inside her a thousand butterflies took wing. His touch did that to her.

Even though she’d warned herself over and over not to let it happen, not to risk too much of her heart to a man whose love was far beyond her reach, she’d done it anyway.

“You look beautiful, Grace.”

She forced a smile. “Thank you, Your Grace.”

“Vincent.”

“Vincent,” she repeated. “I’d hoped we’d have a moment alone today,” she whispered soft enough so only he could hear her. “There was much I wanted to say to you.”

“Such as?”

She stuttered, suddenly unable to speak. “I…I know this is not what you wished for your future.”

His eyebrows arched high and for just a fleeting moment Grace saw through an opening that exposed his true feelings. What she saw chilled her to her bones. She hesitated, giving him time, praying he’d deny her words. He didn’t. She took a breath and continued.

“I want you to know I will always do everything in my power to be the best wife I can be.”

He bowed politely, acknowledging her vow. “And I will try my utmost to be your husband.”

She staggered at his words.

I will try my utmost to be your husband.

A heavy weight fell to the pit of her stomach. A dark premonition sucked the air from her lungs. Her stomach
rolled and she took in several deep breaths.
I will try my utmost to
—

“Are you all right?”

“Y…Yes. Fine.”

With an unreadable look in his eyes, he offered her his arm and led her to the front of the room where the minister stood. Her six sisters gathered with their husbands at their sides. Only one other guest was present, Raeborn’s cousin, Kevin Germaine.

Raeborn looped her arm through his with a proprietary air and held her steady. He stood as immovable as a chiseled statue while the minister conducted the service. His answers were firm and concise. He promised to keep her for richer and poorer in a voice filled with assurance. He hesitated only slightly over the promise to keep her in sickness and health, although she was sure no one present heard his misstep. Or that anyone guessed what Grace knew for a fact. That the man who had just promised to love her for all time already regretted his words. The man who had just taken her as his wife only did so because she’d given him no other choice.

Then it was her turn. The minister said the words and she wondered for just a moment what would happen if she said no. If she refused.

The room grew uncomfortably warm and Grace closed her eyes for a second, praying that when she opened them her world would no longer be spinning around her. But it did not happen. The world was as it had been before, and the words that had haunted her were there with no solution.
If not for the baby…

She knew she had no choice.

“I do.”

The minister smiled. “I now pronounce you man and wife.”

It was over. Raeborn turned her toward him and lowered his head. He was going to kiss her. She knew it before his lips touched hers. She wanted him to. Wanted to feel a small reminder of the intimacy they’d already shared.

His lips were firm and warm, almost exactly as they had been the last time he’d kissed her. And yet totally different. There was no feeling in this kiss, no emotion. Only a perfunctory gesture that caused an emptiness Grace couldn’t explain.

And just as quickly, he lifted his mouth from hers.

She stared at him in surprise, but he wasn’t watching her. His gaze was concentrated on the small crowd gathering around them.

“Congratulations!” her sisters all chimed together, each taking their turn to hug her tightly.

As if on cue, servants entered the room carrying glasses of champagne on trays, and each of her brothers-in-law toasted the Duke and Duchess of Raeborn’s health and happiness.

Grace took one small sip and fought the roiling of her stomach. From then on she only pretended to drink, and as often as she could, found something solid to lean against to support herself.

“Your Grace,” a strange voice said from behind her. “Let me congratulate you on your marriage.”

Grace turned to find herself facing Kevin Germaine. Vincent was suddenly at her side, his hand possessively
around her waist. He wore a pleased look, the look he’d perfected whenever they were in public.

“Raeborn,” Germaine said, lifting his glass in salute. “You have no idea how surprised I was to receive an invitation to your wedding. And how delighted.”

A smile lit Germaine’s handsome face, and Grace looked up to see the expression her husband wore. The practiced look was still in place, and Grace wished for just a second to be able to know what he truly felt. Surely now he no longer needed the pretense.

“I can’t believe you’ve married. That you took the step again. I’m very happy for you.”

“Thank you, Kevin.”