Interrupted (The Progress Series) (27 page)

“Charlie, it’s you! Go up there and get your award,” Samuel said.

Charlie nodded and rose from her seat. She glanced at Jess on her way up to the podium and he was staring at her, eager to get her attention. When their eyes met, his expression became tender as he gazed at her form in her new green dress.

She politely took the award from the president and shook his hand. “Thank you so much. It means so much to me to be recognized for my hard work,” she said robotically.

She glanced into the crowd and saw everyone fiercely clapping. Cheering and whistling, Roxanne was bouncing in her seat. Samuel smiled at her and Charlie had to stop herself from shaking. The moment sped up and then slowed down. She tried to look for Jess, but he was no longer by the door. She forced a smile to her face and the crowd cheered louder. “Thank you,” she said and walked back to her seat.

There were still two more categories to be awarded. Charlie leaned over to Samuel and whispered, “I have to go to the ladies’ room, I’ll be right back.” Rising from her seat, she looked down at her hands and tried to slow the tremors as she began searching for Jesse.

Where is he? He’s gotta be here somewhere. What is he doing here?

She scanned the bar; there was no sign of Jess. She went out to the verandah where there had been additional tables set out. Finally, she checked outside the front doors to see if he was having a cigarette.

“Jess,” she said with slight contempt. “What are you doing here?”

“Congratulations,” he said, handing her the daisies.

“I don’t understand, how did you know I’d be here?” she asked.

“Roxy told me.” Jess looked down and scratched the back of his head. “What’s so great about him?”

Don’t do this.

“Really? That’s why you’re here? You wanted to ask me about Samuel? Why do you care, anyway? The flowers? The shirt and tie? You’re sounding like a little boy with a crush. Are you going to marry me someday, Jess? Are you going to provide for me and our precious little offspring? We can all sit around the Christmas tree singing carols and spouting insults to each other. The thought is so warming, isn’t it?” Charlie emphasized her sarcasm.

“At least I know the difference between love and settling…” he said.

“You’re such a bully, Jess. You take someone’s weakness and use it against them again and again. What’s even worse is that you do it when they least expect it. As soon as you feel that connection with them, like you’re starting to care for them, you crush their spirit with the sole of your shoe. You have no one to blame but yourself for being alone. You have no one to blame but yourself for why I left you that night.”

“Calm down. Stop being so defensive. I honestly want to know why you’re going to marry him.”

Charlie took a deep breath and tried to slow her temper.

“Okay, I’ll tell you. I want to marry Samuel because he’s a good man. He’s always there for me and knows when to keep his mouth shut and just listen. He’s charming and warm. He’s incredibly smart and witty; he makes me laugh. He’s not perfect and he accepts that, and he also knows that I’m not perfect. We’ve worked on this relationship for over a year and neither of us has run away from it. We
want
it to work. It takes patience, understanding, and compromise. He forgives me when I make mistakes and doesn’t judge me for them. He’s sexy, sweet, and a bit of an awkward geek at times, and he’s not afraid to show me every side of his personality.”

Jess swallowed. “Well, he just sounds perfect then,” he said.

Charlie shook her head and regained her defenses. “You asked, so I told you.”

“Not once did you say you were in love with him.”

Charlie shook her head. “It’s a strong word. For some reason telling
you
that I’m capable of love…stings me. It makes me vulnerable,” she said.

“You still haven’t answered the question.”

“You still haven’t asked one.”

“Stop with the game for a minute! Do you love him or not?” he said.

Charlie stood, motionless, staring into Jesse’s defenseless blue eyes. She didn’t want to say it. She couldn’t admit to him how she felt about anything, mostly because she didn’t really know. She had ruined things horribly with Samuel, and she didn’t know if he would ever forgive her. Walking away from Sam seemed easier than trying to make it work. She didn’t know if she could live the rest of her life with knowing how badly she had hurt him.

“I couldn’t make the call to your boss. I just couldn’t do that to you. Or, to us.” He sighed and his shoulders dropped. “I’ve really messed things up between us, haven’t I?” he asked.

“Oh, Jess. They were already messed up. We’re both guilty.”

Taking a step back and trying to calm himself, he took a deep breath. “Can I just tell you one more thing before I go?” he asked.

Charlie’s expression was hesitant as she fought to allow the chill moving through her spine. “Yes.”

“I love you,” he said.

The words stopped just in front of her. She refused to let them reach her heart.

“Bullshit. You don’t love me. You don’t even know what that word means. So, just say it. Say how you really feel.”

“What? Say what?” he said, his frustration climbing at her disbelief in his words.

“Say it!” she shouted.

“I need you!” he shouted back.

He kicked the snow on the sidewalk and said his next words were quieter. “I’m a fucking mess without you.”

She looked up and around at the night sky, trying to keep the tears from flooding. “Now that, I believe,” she whispered. Staring at him, the first thought that came into her head fell out of her mouth. “Don’t make me do this to you twice,” she said.

Jesse closed his eyes and exhaled. He placed his hands in his pockets and shivered from the biting cold and her bitter words.

“We aren’t making any new memories, Jess. We’re still clashing about the old ones. Can’t you see that? Nothing we’ve done in the past week has made us feel any better about ourselves or each other. Nothing,” she said.

Samuel came walking out the door and a rush of warm air hit her. Her eyes opened wide and she turned back to Jess.

He was already walking to his car.

“It’s freezing out here, Charlie. Are you smoking?” Samuel asked.

“I was about to, yes.”

“Here, take my coat. I’ll run in and get yours,” he said.

“Thanks,” she said, and Samuel went back inside.

She lit a cigarette and watched Jess’s car pull out of the parking spot. He pulled up slowly to her and rolled down the passenger side window.

“This is your last chance, Charlie. Get in,” Jess said.

“What?”

“Come on, Red. This isn’t over, and you know it.”

Charlie looked back through the doors as Samuel was asking the attendant for her coat, and then looked back to Jess. He winked and gestured toward the car door. Her eyes glossed over, her stomach twisted, and her heart launched.

I have an obligation to make this right. I have to start somewhere.

“Unfinished business,” she whispered.

*

Before she could think things through, she hopped in the car.

The End

Rewired

The Third (and final) Book in the Progress Series

By Amy Queau

I’m sick. Charlie thinks she can help me. Silly little girl.

I know that no one is ready for what’s about to happen
—
especially me. And I don’t know where it will take me. But for now she’s here. For now, she chooses me.

Silence burned the inside of Jesse’s car. The whizzing of traffic and a muffled song on the radio weren’t enough to mask the desire they both felt for words. Someone needed to speak. They were both equally shocked that Charlie had actually climbed into the passenger seat. She had accepted his offer and there they were, trying to figure out what was going to happen next.

“You’re sick, Jess. And I don’t know if I can help you; I don’t even know if you want it. I may not be able to fully relate to you, and I know that no one has ever really tried. Probably because you’ve never let anyone get this close to the truth. But I’m going to try. I’m going to try like hell to make this right for you, because I care. I adore you, Jess, you know that. But also because I’ve given up my ‘happily ever after’ to make this right. I walked away from my future. For you. The man I was going to spend the rest of my life with is now standing, alone, in a parking lot holding my coat in his arms, wondering where I am. So all I’m going to say is that you better be ready for this. Because this going to be a ride to hell and back. It might just be the
second
hardest thing you’ll ever endure in your lifetime.”

Jess swallowed. “What was the first?” He closed his eyes.

“Having to go through it the first time,” she said, expressionless, while lighting a cigarette.

From The Author:

Thank you so much for reading more of Charlie and Jesse’s story! I truly hope you are enjoying their journey. The final book in The Progress Series is scheduled to publish before the spring of 2014.

Please go to
www.amyjq.com
for additional information, excerpts, and photos. You can also find me on Facebook, Goodreads, Twitter and Tumblr.

Many, Many Thanks,

Amy Queau